Weird, my dd does that with the "what, no story?" when asked to get ready for bed thing, too. I started packing up her lunch once after telling her we had to hurry and would be leaving when I'd finished and she could eat in the car. I had *just* told her that and when she saw me packing up her stuff she started screaming like a stuck pig "DON'T THROW MY LUNCH AWAY!" I call it "assuming the worst". I don't understand why she does it, but I've been talking to her a lot lately about stopping to think, before she reacts, about what the person's best possible intention might have been. For instance, Suzy just stepped on my foot. I'll bet it was because she was backing up to get out of Tommy's way and didn't know I was standing here. Rather than, "YOU DID THAT ON PURPOSE!"
She is also extremely gifted. I have't had her tested yet (I'm almost afraid to, I can't quite sort out what the ramifications of *knowing* would be), but if I had to guess I'd say it was about 160-180. She's smarter than me, that's for sure and my mom's is 160 and the two of them are about an even match. Anyway, I agree it is hard sometimes to remember not to expect too much of her and just let her be a kid. It must also be hard to be a kid who is smarter than the folks you rely on for care and guidance. Maybe I should rent "Little Man Tate" or "Searching for Bobby Fischer" again.
I, too, have periods where I really don't like her and that makes me feel very, very bad and guilty. It is especially difficult when coupled with the feelings I have about others not liking her, which range from blaming her to blaming myself, to blaming others. sigh. We are in an upswing now out of one those bad periods. We usually have them when she is on the 3/4 year mark (or 3 months before her birthday), but this time it was 3 months after her birthday, but we also just added a new baby. Maybe we get to skip the rough time at 6 3/4? One can always hope!
What works for me is using Love and Logic, natural and logical consequences and being as honest as I can with her. Honest to the point that I wonder sometimes if it is appropriate to provide so much information to a 6 year old. And this includes my own feelings. She very much doubts my love right now. I've never said, but she knows this baby is easier for me and it makes her feel I love her sister more. She was at me and at me and at me the other day about how I was nicer to the baby and cared more about her being upset, etc. Finally, after being very patient, giving many reassurances, etc. I snapped, "Okay, I do like the baby better, is that what you want me to say?" She stopped fussing at me and was quiet, tears running down her face. We had a very good heart to heart talk after that about the care a baby needs and that I had given her what I am giving her sister, but more when she was a baby. She had me all to herself. I explained that I was giving her the special care she needed for who she is at the age she is. I also said I was not going to hold back my affection to the baby in order to spare her feelings. We also talked about how love is multiplied not divided. She seemed very happy and satisfied with my explanations and was much calmer. I'm still trying to make a concerted, but sincere effort to reassure her she is loved, though. Yesterday, I told the baby that I was going to miss her while I was at work. Sophia quickly asked in a very tight voice, her whole body rigid, "Will you miss me, too?" I said, "Yes, that's why I called you last night from work, because I missed you." It was the truth and she knew it and I could see the relief flood over her and she relaxed. Tonight she wanted to know if the button on my diaper bag said "Kids Are Special" or "Babies Are Special." I think this means she has caught on to my soft spot for babies. She saw my signature here and asked why I had chosen the baby symbol. I explained it was because I loved babies so much (I am a midwife and L&D nurse) and quickly added "and the kids they grow into", but I think she knew it was tacked on. Sigh. I need to watch that she does not translate this into meaning I therefore don't like kids. She is so very, very smart and knows me so well. I have to really stay on top of things to keep up with her or she plays me like a fiddle.
With very annoying behaviors I use a Searsism, "that disturbs my peace." I also use the energy drain stuff from Love and Logic. It really drains my energy to listen to you slamming around and saying the same thing over and over and over, so I will have less energy when the baby is asleep to read to you, play a game, etc.
P.S. edited to add we also use PBS, educational videos, yoga videos, and the occasional (
) <gasp!> Disney video around here, too