apologizing for nothing??? - Mothering Forums
The Childhood Years > apologizing for nothing???
m&m's Avatar m&m 01:48 AM 02-22-2002
My almost 3 year old (going on 8) has started something strange.

She keeps saying "sorry for the bad word I called you" or "I won't call you any more bad names" and crying - yet there are no bad words or names, or anything! She just keeps saying it and crying.

Is she thinking the bad word? is she going through something I can't figure out? Any other little ones do this?

My mom said that I used to cry and cry and say that it was my fault until I got punished, kinda setting my limits - but this just sounds too strange, or is it? My mom claims I was fine as long as I got hit once per month - Now, I am NOT going to hit my children, but could it be a limit setting thing?

HELP! she seems so sad.

paula_bear's Avatar paula_bear 07:08 AM 02-22-2002
Could DD possibly be getting the idea from somewhere that she is bad? Maybe TV or other children with whom she has interactions? When she says that she called you a bad name, do you tell her she didn't say it out loud? Does she insist that she did say it? Have you tried explaining that it's ok to have these sort of thoughts when we don't act on them? I would try to get as much information from DD and then proceed from there. Kids can be so complex and we never really know what's going on in their heads, but it wouldn't hurt to ask...

Good luck,
Paula
m&m's Avatar m&m 08:06 PM 02-22-2002
Thanks,

Yeah I have asked her all those questions, and explained feelings to her - she is a very verbal almost 3 year old! She's already asked me about adoption, abortion, marriage, sex, hysterectomies, etc. I can hardly believe she can pronounce half those words, let alone has questions about them.

She is coping with being a big sister, and it may have to do with that - or the fact that she just does not know how to safely express her anger yet - we're working on it, but it is so tough.
peggy's Avatar peggy 07:25 PM 02-23-2002
When I was a little girl I used to do the same thing!!! I would confess swear words to my Mother all the time. I would be sure that even "thinking " one was wrong or whispering one to myself. I drove my mother crazy, saying I was sorry all the time! But I do honestly remember feeling really bad about it, not just trying to get my Mom's attention or anything.
My son did the same thing when he was little. I just kept reassuring him. he outgrew it( so did I!)

peggy
m&m's Avatar m&m 11:57 PM 02-23-2002
Thanks Peggy,

Just knowing someone else did it makes me feel better. Hopefully it is just a phase. At least it is better than actually swearing all the time.
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