8 year old wetting her pants? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 8 Old 06-02-2007, 10:21 PM - Thread Starter
 
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hi everyone,
i have a neighbor girl that comes over to play with my dd and she almost always ends up wetting her pants or I can small urine on her, like she has done it earlier in the day. I have known her about 3 years and noticed this last year, is this sort of normal? Should I be concerned? She is making up excuses for the wetness, like she sat in something, is this a sign of something serious? Should I talk to her mom about it? She does it at home, too. And she's in school, so I assume it happens there, too. Should I just try to keep some clothes for her at my house? and keep my mouth shut? I don't want to embarass her. Any ideas? THanks!
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#2 of 8 Old 06-03-2007, 03:30 AM
 
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Does the Mom even know it's happening? I would wonder since it seems like the girl quite embarrassed and is trying to hide it. I think it is something that needs to be addressed by a doctor just to make sure there isn't an underlying medical problem. I would start by asking the Mom, although that might be a bit uncomfortable if you don't know her well. If she assures you it is not a medical problem then I would just try to have an extra pair of clothes for her I guess.

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#3 of 8 Old 06-03-2007, 06:17 AM
 
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I would definitely ask mom if she knows about it. I could totally see her hiding it from mom. Poor kiddo. She must be so mortified! It really sounds like a bladdar infection or some other medical ailment, especially if it is new.
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#4 of 8 Old 06-03-2007, 02:59 PM
 
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Could be just a regressive behaviour thing? Have there been any major changes in her household? New baby maybe? I would talk to her mom about it.

Maybe sat something like "I've noticed "Sarah" having some wetting accidents, how would you like that handled when she's at my house?"

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#5 of 8 Old 06-03-2007, 03:03 PM
 
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I'd definitely talk to the mom-- it could be diabetes.
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#6 of 8 Old 06-03-2007, 03:42 PM - Thread Starter
 
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THanks everyone, I'm not sure it's a new thing but I was wondering if its a sign of sexual abuse. She does have alot going on in her life, dads in jail, brother just got out of kid jail, etc. Mom has new boyfriend, etc. Sounds bad, huh? It is, except the mom seems really nice but I don't know her very well, at all. THanks Tinker for the conversation starter! I'll try that. lolar2, she eats a ton of candy so maybe it is diabetes. Thanks again everyone!
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#7 of 8 Old 06-03-2007, 05:29 PM
 
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You know, FWIW, my almost 7yo boy is constantly "leaking" in his pants. I, as the mother, am very well aware of that and in all likelihood this mother is as well.

If someone came up to me who didn't know me well and suggested that my child was either diabetic because they thought he ate too much candy or sexually abused, even if it was out of concern for my child, you can bet I would be really outraged and in all likelihood stop the playdates.

My advice (if you want it) is that perhaps you can ascertain if the mom is aware of the issue by saying things like, "A lot of times when the kids are playing, I suggest that they take a break here and there to go to the bathroom, since I know kids don't like to stop what they're doing. Do you think that would be a good idea to do with X and if so, when?"

Or something like that. Give her the opportunity to say that yes, they know she (a) has an immature bladder; (b) frequently gets too busy to stop playing; (c) has an immature nervous system so sometimes she doesn't know she has to go; or (d) something else entirely.

Assume the mom has a brain, since you like her, and see what suggestions she has, rather than assuming she doesn't know her daughter smells like urine all the time....

Jen, former attorney and now SAHM to 11 yo ds and 8 yo ds

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#8 of 8 Old 06-03-2007, 08:49 PM
 
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I certainly wouldn't tell another mom her DD eats too much candy, and I was thinking type 1 anyhow; but I wouldn't even get that detailed with mentioning it to the mom. I just was giving the OP another reason she might want to say something, herself.
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