Kids say the FUNNIEST things!! - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 102 Old 06-20-2007, 02:07 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Now, I think I may have seen a thread line this somewhere, I can't remember where tho, so I'll start another here!

My three and a half year old daughter has a cold, she was up all night coughing and she's all congested. : Everytime we try to give her some cough and cold medicine, its all we can do to keep her from gagging! She's so sensitive to the taste its a battle just to get her to take it!

So in the van on the way home (yes, we drive a mini van!) she tells me that her throat is kinda sore. So I tell her that when we get home I'll give her some medicine and that will help her sleep and get better faster.

She thinks about this for a second and says to me "Mom, if you put that medicine in my mouth, my teeth will throw it out!"

LOL.. I almost drove off the road I was laughing so hard I couldn't see through the tears! She was so serious too!

I have tons of these, I'll keep adding more but for now its adult time! *giggle*
And by that, of course, I mean I get to read uninterrupted!
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#2 of 102 Old 06-20-2007, 02:18 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My 8 year old asked me something this morning about translating a french word to english so I told her. She told me that no, that was wrong. I told her I took french in high school and that IS the right answer. So she looked it up in her book, and I was wrong. lol.. I love it when that happens!

So she looks at me as if I'd just tried to sabotage her day and says " Jeex mom, even my TEACHER knows more than you do!!!"

thank god eh?
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#3 of 102 Old 02-11-2008, 10:49 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My four year old daughter and I were at the mall on Saturday and it was PACKED.

She says to me "mama, can we have some ice cream please?"

I reply "sure honey, but not here, its way too busy here"

She said "ok mama... when can we have some then?"

I said "Not here baby, elsewhere. We have lots of places to go"

She said " Have you been there before mama? Are you sure they have ice cream elsewhere?"

LMAO
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#4 of 102 Old 02-12-2008, 11:56 PM
 
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My almost 3 yr old ds said to me one day "I want a bar."

I said "A bar? what do you mean?"

His answer: "You know, it's a snack and it goes down your esophagus and into your stomach?" (!!!) we had read a book about the human body a few days before and apparently that bit stuck with him!

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#5 of 102 Old 02-13-2008, 04:31 AM
 
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This morning, DS2 (3) got out of our bed, ran down the hall to his bedroom, and came back yelling "I found my ROOM! I found my ROOM!"

OKaaaaaay, honey, good for you

(turns out DP had found him in the kitchen really early this morning, yelling for his brother because he'd gotten up to go to the bathroom and then got lost in the dark)

I don't know what's funnier: that he "got lost" 2 feet from his bedroom with the night-light on or that he was so excited to have actually FOUND HIS ROOM the next morning He's a funny little guy.
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#6 of 102 Old 02-13-2008, 10:15 AM
 
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my dd (4) still calls pretzels "prentsils" which kills me, she mixes beginnings and endings of words up frequently and its soo cute..

My ds(6) told dd a few weeks ago that we couldn't watch The Family Guy (my husband has the boxed set) bc its not appropriate" I didnt realize how often I say that.

Ds also is on a restrictive diet bc of focusing stuff, and we went to the health food store (we get what we can at the regular grocery bc its cheaper) and he was like, hey we get those, we get those.. hey we have those!!! Mom all that stuff is healthy!" i was like, yeah i know..
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#7 of 102 Old 02-13-2008, 10:46 AM
 
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I have this particularily grumpy cat, and one morning she was grumpier than usual. I told her to stop being so evil and dd immediately pipes up from the other room "You should have named her Mua-ha-ha" (as in the evil laugh),


Yesterday she was helping someone out by getting them some
"band-aidagesedes"

She calls Tim Hortons 'Tim Portons' (Timmies is a popular coffee shop in Canada)

It think it is as much the serious delivery of these anecedotes that makes them so funny. Dd can have me breathless with laughter just by being 'real'.

Decluttering 500/2010
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#8 of 102 Old 02-13-2008, 02:48 PM
 
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I love all of these! Thanks!

My 5-year old was mixing crayon shavings, juice, water, sunflower seeds and ice cream together. He wanted to go outside and "plant" the concoction in the ground.
I asked him what he thought would grow. "A pirate ship!" he grinned.

What an imagination!
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#9 of 102 Old 02-13-2008, 06:05 PM
 
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My daughter asked her Grandpa why he has a beard and he said to save food in for later so she tried to save things in her pretend beard by smashing food on her face and I explained to her that her Grandpa was only kidding. The next time we went to see him he had some food in his beard and she said "Oh, I see you really do save food in your beard Grandpa."
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#10 of 102 Old 02-14-2008, 05:08 PM
 
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I came across this video contest the other day that goes with this topic. It is kind of a kid's say the darndest things kind of contest. The example video is pretty cute so I plan on checking back once they get some videos entered.

http://memelabs.com/gardenstate/
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#11 of 102 Old 02-14-2008, 05:37 PM
 
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My 3 year old DS said one day "Boys smell like poop!" And when I asked him how girls smell, he said "Clean!"
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#12 of 102 Old 02-14-2008, 06:00 PM
 
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Originally Posted by timneh_mom View Post
My 3 year old DS said one day "Boys smell like poop!" And when I asked him how girls smell, he said "Clean!"
I thought girls were sugar and spice and everything nice, while boys were rotten and made of cotten?

3.5 yo DS told his little sister she should not come near the stairs because she would "crack her head just like the egg." Wow, I didn't know little kids could do analogies.
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#13 of 102 Old 02-14-2008, 06:07 PM
 
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Yesterday, 2.5-y.o. DD saw a piece of tape that was peeling off of a box, so she went and tried to stick it back down. When that didn't work, she went and dug a toy hammer out the toybox and started smacking it. I asked her what she was doing, and she said, "I got a haminer. I gonna fix dis d*mn box!"

What are ya gonna do?? I was laughing too hard to reprimand her.

Almost as good was when DS was rubbing my tummy a couple of weeks ago, and DD came up with a scowl on her face. "NO, Bubba!" she holllered. "Dat's MY mommy! No touch her belly!"

DS calmly said, "It's okay, I'm giving the baby a hug. There's a baby in there!" DD demanded to see it, and I told her she couldn't see the baby, because the baby is inside my tummy.

After a brief pause, she cocked her head to one side and asked, "Why you eat dat baby, Mama?? You no should eat the baby!"

This child is just full of 'em, I tell ya.

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#14 of 102 Old 02-14-2008, 08:18 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BunnySlippers View Post
She calls Tim Hortons 'Tim Portons' (Timmies is a popular coffee shop in Canada)
Tim Portons! So does my ds One day he was playing in his kitchen and brought me out a "medium double double and some chocolate covered bricks"

He also calls Union Station (our main train/subway station here) Minion Station

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#15 of 102 Old 02-15-2008, 01:19 AM
 
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My 2.5-year-old wrapped herself up in a piece of gold sparkly material and proudly announced, "I am a principal!"
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#16 of 102 Old 02-15-2008, 02:59 PM
 
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Originally Posted by SeekingSerenity View Post
Yesterday, 2.5-y.o. DD saw a piece of tape that was peeling off of a box, so she went and tried to stick it back down. When that didn't work, she went and dug a toy hammer out the toybox and started smacking it. I asked her what she was doing, and she said, "I got a haminer. I gonna fix dis d*mn box!"

What are ya gonna do?? I was laughing too hard to reprimand her.

Almost as good was when DS was rubbing my tummy a couple of weeks ago, and DD came up with a scowl on her face. "NO, Bubba!" she holllered. "Dat's MY mommy! No touch her belly!"

DS calmly said, "It's okay, I'm giving the baby a hug. There's a baby in there!" DD demanded to see it, and I told her she couldn't see the baby, because the baby is inside my tummy.

After a brief pause, she cocked her head to one side and asked, "Why you eat dat baby, Mama?? You no should eat the baby!"

This child is just full of 'em, I tell ya.
One time I was telling DS that he was in my tummy when he was a little baby... and he asked me something about eating him too! LOL
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#17 of 102 Old 02-15-2008, 03:27 PM
 
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I like when dd calls people humans. She usually does that when she can't distiguish gender, so she just says 'that human over there'

Decluttering 500/2010
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#18 of 102 Old 02-15-2008, 03:46 PM
 
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To start our DS on the road toward potty training (he's 18mo), we encourage him to tell us when he goes in his diaper. We ask, "Did you poop?" And he says yes or no.

We regretted this approach last Thanksgiving, when we were gathered around the table preparing to eat. We were all saying what we were thankful for, and when Grandma asked DS what HE was thankful for, he shouted: "I POOP!"

Homeschooling, organic gardening, jewelry-making, bread-baking pagan mama to Bubba:
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#19 of 102 Old 02-15-2008, 04:00 PM
 
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Ds was in our bed on a snow day morning, and quite surprised to find daddy still there. He poked his little head up for air(he'd been nursing) and said " dadda! Dadda nuuuh!" I said hen, lay down and nurse, I'm not ready to get up yet. He climbed over on top of his dad and repeated "Dadda NUUUH!"

he meant 'nurse on Dad!' teeheehee.
He was joking and laughed, quite pleased with himself.

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#20 of 102 Old 02-15-2008, 05:52 PM
 
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I like when dd calls people humans. She usually does that when she can't distiguish gender, so she just says 'that human over there'
Awesome. That reminds me of those aliens on the Simpsons Halloween specials.

Are you sure she is human?
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#21 of 102 Old 02-15-2008, 06:28 PM
 
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These are adorable! My two current faves from my girls (3 years and 19-months):

Older girl found a brand new tube of toothpaste (Weleda infant gel) in the grocery bag and went and hid and ate most of it. She spilled some in a pile and I found it. I called to her as I was cleaning it up to "discuss" it and she came in singing, "I'm bad. I'm bad. I'm bad. Bad, bad, bad, bad, bad." All with this little tune. I said, "Yes, you are bad for eating the toothpaste AND making this mess." "No, Mom. I'm not bad! I was just singing a song called 'I'm bad.'" Now where did she get that????

The little one one day, after her sister grabbed something from her hands, turned and said, plain as day, "SISSY! Don't be ridiculous!"
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#22 of 102 Old 02-15-2008, 07:20 PM
 
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My 4yr olds newest thing is to say " Oh Pickles" when she's mad or something she doesn't like happens.


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#23 of 102 Old 02-16-2008, 04:31 AM
 
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My 3 yo dd had a stomach bug yesterday. She was sitting on the toilet before bed and I stayed in the bathroom with her to see if she was having any diarrhea . I asked her is everything was ok, she said "I'm fine mom, that was just a little cough that came out of my butt"!

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#24 of 102 Old 02-16-2008, 05:56 PM
 
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My 3 yo dd had a stomach bug yesterday. She was sitting on the toilet before bed and I stayed in the bathroom with her to see if she was having any diarrhea . I asked her is everything was ok, she said "I'm fine mom, that was just a little cough that came out of my butt"!
butt cough


Yesterday dd was constipated for the first time. It was pretty sad for awhile. Later that evening she came running up to me all joyful
"MAMA! I feel like I could fly! I just had a poo and it was as fat as a hamster! woo boy, now I am HUNGRY! See how skinny my belly is? Maybe you could make a big dinner with lots of food, you know; to cover the whole table? cause I am STARVING!"

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#25 of 102 Old 02-16-2008, 07:52 PM
 
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As fat as a hamster OMG, that is hilarious.

DS is really into watching the Wizard of Oz, and he especially loves Munchkinland. One day he was watching it and I asked him if he wanted to go to Munchkinland, and he said, "Oh no, it's way way way too CROWDED in Munchkinland!!"

He also has said several times that his baby sister doesn't have a "'gina", she has a penis!! Ummm, OK!

Mama to 3 kids. We live in a yurt!
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#26 of 102 Old 02-18-2008, 12:52 AM - Thread Starter
 
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My 4 and 6 year old daughters are rolling around the livingroom and dancing. My 4 year old daughter is doing alot of forward rolls, and is thrilled to discover she can do it without her hands touching the ground. So I tell her to do a backwards roll. And she says "whats that" ? I tell her to do a roll, but roll backwards, to start to roll from her bum, instead of her head.

So she stands up, and turns to try to look at her bum.. it looks weird and she does this for about 30 seconds, then cries out in exasperation "I can't do it!! My legs won't turn around the other way!"

LOL.. she thought doing in backwards meant her body being backwards..

Also, the other day my 8 and 6 year old daughters and I went for a walk through the forest. While on our walk we found some pretty cool looking stones. We were walking for over 3 hours, and for the first hour or so I must've heard "Hey mama! Look at this cool rock!" about 80 times. How many times can you look at rocks and be interested?? So I started getting weary of looking at rocks, but I didn't want to come right out and say "Ok, I don't care to look at anymore rocks" so I gave simple answers like "oh, thats cool" and feigned interest. My oldest daughter looked at me after I'd done this a few times and said "mom, we know that you don't care. We can tell when you say like "oh yay, thats cool" that you really mean "I don't care about the stupid rocks you guys"
Busted!!
I nearly fell over I was laughing so hard
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#27 of 102 Old 02-18-2008, 01:08 AM
 
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Ah. DC's make me laugh all the time, and now I can't think of a single funny thing they say. Well ds calls 'binoculars' thermopulars (he's 5).
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#28 of 102 Old 02-18-2008, 01:10 AM - Thread Starter
 
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LMAO.. this might be the funniest thing I've ever seen..

My hubby wrestles with our daughters alot, has ever since they were tiny. He often pretends that he's died, so he lays there still and quiet. The older two just laugh and continue to tickle him or jump on him.

He did this the other day when he was wrestling with all three of them. He stopped moving and laid there, so I played along and said "oh no.. you guys killed Dad!" The older two moved toward him to tickle him and my youngest pushed them away horrified, said "don't touch him!" She ran over to him, kneeled beside beside his head, plugged his nose and breathed a big long breath into his mouth! My hubby sat up coughing and laughing... My 4 year old proudly told everyone that she saved him!

OMG... I haven't laughed so hard in a long time!
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#29 of 102 Old 02-18-2008, 01:12 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Ah. DC's make me laugh all the time, and now I can't think of a single funny thing they say. Well ds calls 'binoculars' thermopulars (he's 5).
When my oldest was about 2 she started saying stuff like "this is profaggit".. we asked her over and over again to repeat herself but we could NOT figure out what the heck she was saying. One of our friends told us a few weeks later that she was saying "this is pathetic". LOL... ah, I love this thread!
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#30 of 102 Old 02-18-2008, 02:04 AM
 
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When my dd, who is now 17 yo was 3 yo, she and her dad were having a conversation about mammals and how we knew what was a mammal. He told her that mammals have hair. Later that day, she came to me and said, "mommy, I don't think Grandpa is a mammal." When I told her sure he was, and why would she think he wasn't, she told me, "because grandpa doesn't have hair!" My dad was balding.

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