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Laziness

782 views 8 replies 6 participants last post by  crazy_eights 
#1 ·
My dd is lazy. I wsh I could think of a way to turn that into something positive but no matter how you look at it lazy is nothing but bad.

She would sell her little sister if it got her out of lifting one of her preciouse little finger. It makes really dislike to be around her. she embodies the most negative quality a person can have. nothing irritates me like someone being lazy. Laziness disgusts me. relaxing is one thing. everyone deserves a break but she never ever does anything of value. I ask her to pick up her laundry and she throws a fit. she owes me money (for ruining her sister new toy and for ruining a flag I asked her not to play with - $21 total, so far she has paid me $4 from her allowance) I have given her jobs around the house to do to earn money to pay it off and she refuses to do them. So I decided to take her tooth fairy magic money away (1/2 dollars, silver and gold dollars). thinking surely that will motivate her to earn the money some other way. Nope. she just whined some more. She won't tell me where it is but none the less if she doesn't get some work done, somehting anything (there is alist a mile long, she really can choose whatever she is in themood for).

Sorry, I sound like I am just complaining. so how did you guys teach your children t obe motivated and to work hard. I hate that she is lazy and want to break her of it before it takes over her life. I would consider myself a horrible persn if she grew up to be a lazy adult. I am not asking for hte world either. I just want her to work hard enough to repay any debts (If you break it around here you buy it) and I want her to do her part with the family chores.
 
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#2 ·
you are talking abouyt my dd right?! 'cause she is exactly the same way! it gets me so furious with her sometimes,putting up with her moods and whims.she also just refuses to do anything around the house.she evens hates to leave the house.I am hoping it is an age thing and she will grow out of it soon!(please!)
I hope some one else has great answers for you and me!
 
#3 ·
UGH! You are talking about MY dd. I am the same way, disgusted by laziness!

I have decided that I don't have the skills to parent this child so I am constantly trying to improve my parenting. For instance, (she's SOOO lazy) I put a hamper in her room to encourage her to pick up her clothes. Now, my boys have no trouble following direction and putting up clothes, but NOOO not her! After many discussions and headbutting, I determined that that is who she is! Not lazy, I mean she just is not going to be an organized, on top of it, kind of person. Not at the age of 7 anyway! So I alter my parenting to kind of adjust to her. Does that make any sense? It sounds like she is running all over me doesn't it? But when I looked at it a different way, it seemed unfair to her! My son is just like me and does exactly what he is supposed to do with no complaints. So just because I relate to him and his individual personality makes him right and her wrong!? So I try! A lot of times I stand over her and make her mind. But for the most part I just try (TRY) to embrace her.
Like after supper, when it's time to brush teeth and pick up etc..... I write her a list. Now, she just loves the list. It helped with her reading last year and she got to mark off each item as she completed it. It was fun. She really got the move on and did the list and then she felt good because she accomplished something and she could actually she what she had accomplished (she's very visual). Hope I helped! Good luck.
 
#4 ·
Been there, done that! It especialy got bad when she had not seen me do anything that day other then cook. Of course I was doing things when she was not home but it was like she had to see that she was not the only one doing something to get her going.

Other times it was a totaly lost cause.

Wish I could help more but to be honest, she kinda grew out of it herself. I think she was about 10 when she last pulled the lazy queen routine. She complains about helping now, but she does it, and that is a miracle to me!

MM
 
#5 ·
Mine is the same age, Lilyka, and is the same way! "But I don't like to work, Momma, I don't like doing chores"! Lists help us, too. I also remind her that we are a family and we all have to pitch in. It helps if I point out everything I do. I do have to supervise her, or we'll have bits of cat food, guinea pig food, cat litter, drops of water, etc. everywhere! Grrrr! I am a complete neat freak and have loosened up quite a bit since I became a mom, but it still gets under my skin when things are a mess. She is supposed to fold and put away her laundry. It drives me crazy, but I just have to not open her drawers. I can't bear to look! And it is very difficult to resist the temptation to rearrange everything. If I do, though, she'll know she doesn't need to worry about it, cuz if she leaves it long enough, Momma will do it.

What if you give her a deadline and if she hasn't earned the money by then she will consign some of her things to pay off the debt?
 
#6 ·
I thought about consigning. That doesn't work because she doesn't have much that is just hers. all her clothes amd toys get passed down to her sisters. they share a room and therefore things like the CD player and the CDs a common property. There is just nothing for her to get rid of. she had a few things that were hers but they have either been thrown out or broken from lack of care. She has officially paid for one thing and I praised her and thinked her for her hard work and told her what a virute it was to pay a debt in a timely manner (better not to have them in the first place) and she seemed to really get iot. Then I reminded her she still owes me $13. We have been letting her pick up stickls in the yard for $1 a bag. Three big storms in a row have provided us with enough sticks to make her quite rich but yet today, all day she sat on her butt and did nothing.

she gets really excited about making lists and then dissappears to the playroom (her cleaning nemisis) and and hour later has done nothing on her list. And we keep it short. usually - barbies, Toy food, and dool clothes. how freaking hard is that?

As far as her making a mess while she does stuff I don't care. really i don't. i mean she will have to clean up but I don't care a lick about perfection. I just want to see some effort. I just want to here "OK" every now and then.

i am glad it is an age thiong. we have really been pretty good about making her pick up her toys since she was a baby. i was sure eventually that would be eternalized and she would get it and just start doing it. But nothinkg. her sister is OK but not great (and we have not been nearly as consistant with her).

And somehting that really ticks me off, and has little to do about this but I will give LIly something to do, something Madeline has most likely snubbed, and then as Lily is singing and doing whatever with a happy freaking heart, Madeline comes on the scene
"thsats my job, I love doing that
and then
"that is my job!! Put it down that is my job" I don't care who does it so long as someone gets it done besides me. Children are a blessing form the Lord . . .Children are a blessing form the Lord . . .Children are a blessing form the Lord . . .Children are a blessing form the Lord . . .
 
#7 ·
She really is still quite young. I have found with my girls that age (6 &7) sitting where they are supposed to be working (say if it is the playroom, I might sit there and sort socks or something else) and saying "what are we going to tackle first? Doll clothing? OK - here's the bin they belong in. Let's see how fast you can do it." Sometimes it takes more prodding than that, but they will usually do it. Also, if we are doing it together (though my help is usually more of the 'that goes there' and 'that bit still needs to be picked up', they are more enthusiastic participants.

Think about your stick situation. 1) She probably has to go out into the yard by herself to do it (and if there are other people out there, they are probably having fun, not working) and 2) she's working for money she's already spent - never a good insentive IME. Maybe you could have a chart of how many chores she has to do to pay you off. And then try to do them 'together' - get her to pick up sticks while you are gardening, for example. I really don't know many 7 y.o.'s that are so motivated to just get up and get going on tasks that they inherently view as onerous! It's human nature. But if you provide guidance now, I think it will go better as she gets older.

BTW - I still have to do this somewhat with my boys 9 & 11, but much less so. I can give them a job and tell them they have to have it done before they can do "x" (say ,ride their bike) and I'll still have to check up on the job they have done, and there will probably be plenty of complaining ("I didn't make that mess!") but they will do it. Some things they even like to do - one likes to sort laundry, one likes to clean the bathroom (go figure.
: I think he likes getting to use all the spray cleaners). I keep repeating my mantra with them 'everyone lives here, everyone helps'. Funny how they think that messes I didn't make should be my responsiblity, but if they didn't make it, oh! the injustice of it all!
 
#8 ·
Just wanted to add - check and make sure that your tasks are age appropriate. And even then, child appropriate. My 11 y.o. has OT issues and folding his clothing neatly and putting them away neatly is a challenge even at his age, even though my neat freak 4 year old would probably do it fine.
 
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