So what is it about 3 year olds? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 33 Old 07-09-2007, 11:58 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I don't have a 3yo YET (DS is 25mos), but I keep hearing how 3yos are SOOOO much more challenging than 2yos.

Tell me what I should be expecting when DS approaches 3!
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#2 of 33 Old 07-09-2007, 01:30 PM
 
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Well....
I agree.

My son is 3.5, and let me tell you, at this age, he can communicate his wants and dislikes, which is a blessing,
BUT he has become SO FREAKIN' PICKY. everything must be done the way he wants it, or the world just falls apart.


I really do love that he is no longer in the baby stage, potty training is far behind us. He has a sense of humor, is silly, and has such a blomming personality.
But the pickiness, the arguing, the questioning of everything, the fact he doean't initiate solo play, and is ...for lack of a better word "up my butt". most of the time.
Two was a lot quieter, lol.
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#3 of 33 Old 07-09-2007, 01:35 PM
 
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hhaha 3 was the WORST for us with ds.. he was very demanding, could voice his opinions very clearly and if you didnt agree, all hell would break loose lolol.. 3 was very very difficult.. 4 is MUCH better.. now he has tantrums where he yells he hates me and stuff like that... but its not as often.. he listens and reasons much better
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#4 of 33 Old 07-09-2007, 01:36 PM
 
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I keep reading those things, too, but I've gotta say...I LOVE this age! My DD is 3 years old and we are having so much fun together! Personally, I found the younger ages much more difficult, but I know every child is different. Maybe mine got it out of her system early. She communicates very well now that she's older, and I can reason with her when she's upset. Tantrums are a thing of the past.

3 years won't necessarily be tough. Enjoy each stage as it comes!
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#5 of 33 Old 07-09-2007, 01:40 PM
 
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I'll second what the last poster said. She's very attitudy. She wants everything her way or there's a fit. It's much harder to get her to comply with what I want. I really have to talk her into it. But, other things are easier. I don't have to keep such an eagle eye on what she's doing. I'm 37 weeks pregnant & need my naps sometimes. I can let her & my 8 year old watch tv or play while I nap and not worry about what she's getting into. We can also communicate better. My oldest daughter has been a breeze since she turned 4, so I'm hoping I only have 6 months left.

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#6 of 33 Old 07-09-2007, 01:43 PM
 
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It's more challenging in different ways. Like every new stage. Some have trouble carrying their babe all the time and can't wait for them to walk. Then when they walk it's a whole new list of challenges.

For me three is more challenging because we are adjusting to DS having more control over himself and his choices. I'm by no means a control freak, but my son doesn't yet have the cognitive skills to deal with not getting his way all the time. A simple, "okay honey, we'll go to the park when you are done with lunch" can send him into a tantrum. He doesn't hear the "yes" in the statement he only hears that there is an obstacle in his way and it's in the form of a grilled cheese sandwich. The hardest part is it's not once in a while. If this kind of thing happened once a week we could all deal so well. It's that this type of fight can happen 20 times in one day on a bad day. And it's exhausting.
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#7 of 33 Old 07-09-2007, 01:46 PM
 
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Some one around here once said,

a 2yo does things that annoy you, whereas a 3yo does things because they annoy you. This always made me laugh.
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#8 of 33 Old 07-09-2007, 01:53 PM
 
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My 3yo is a dream compared to when he was 2. 2 seems to be the hardest age for my boys. Actually more like 18 months to 2 3/4 is the hardest. 3 feels like a breeze after going 18-2 3/4.

Alicia mama to 3 boys 6 and under.
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#9 of 33 Old 07-09-2007, 03:27 PM
 
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Originally Posted by PumpkinSeeds View Post
Some one around here once said,

a 2yo does things that annoy you, whereas a 3yo does things because they annoy you. This always made me laugh.
LOL, my child was precocious! I'm so proud. :

Mine was a terror at 2, and I'm loving 3. Of course, mine was also a terror at one!
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#10 of 33 Old 07-09-2007, 06:11 PM
 
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Opinionated. I think that's the word that best describes my 3 year old. He can go from Zero to Melt Down in .5 seconds because Daddy sat in the wrong chair or you put the red top on the cup and he wanted the blue one. And while we had some of this at two... at three Bear remember exactly what he's screaming about and will not be distracted out of a tantrum by something shiney. I just have to stand back and wait for him to come out of it.
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#11 of 33 Old 07-09-2007, 09:14 PM
 
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Originally Posted by PumpkinSeeds View Post
Some one around here once said,

a 2yo does things that annoy you, whereas a 3yo does things because they annoy you. This always made me laugh.
Yep, yep, yep...and the guilt trips. Smart little boogers, they are! Instead of my DS throwing a fit when he doesn't get his way, he's been saying with a overdramatic sigh "I guess I don't have a mommy anymore." Where did he come up with that one? :
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#12 of 33 Old 07-09-2007, 09:40 PM
 
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The tantrums. Ds has cried before, of course, but the tantrums just started at 3 1/2. I thought he was laid back... Boy was I wrong. The screaming and crying and "No no no, you're hurting me, help me, HELP ME" I wasn't expecting this and have no idea how to deal with it. Just waiting for him to stop is not an option here in the great state of Texas, I get comments from every 2nd person how he'd stop if I'd just "pop him a good one" or better yet, "whup his ^$%". So when he was two, I could distract him and continue with my shopping, now I have to leave the store which means I can't run errands with him in tow. I'll be glad when he hits 4 and am dreading 3 with my high needs 2 year old. I always heard "terrible twos". So not the case here.

Mama to two boys and a girl.
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#13 of 33 Old 07-09-2007, 10:21 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Ceili View Post
Opinionated. I think that's the word that best describes my 3 year old. He can go from Zero to Melt Down in .5 seconds because Daddy sat in the wrong chair or you put the red top on the cup and he wanted the blue one. And while we had some of this at two... at three Bear remember exactly what he's screaming about and will not be distracted out of a tantrum by something shiney. I just have to stand back and wait for him to come out of it.
yep he's 3. Mine is so very three as well. Then we have these great days, like practically the last week stright, where everything has just been nothing but fun!
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#14 of 33 Old 07-09-2007, 10:24 PM
 
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THANK YOU!!! my 3 1/2 yo is the same way. i love hearing about other crazy kids, it makes me feel so much better. i am not alone, yay!!!

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#15 of 33 Old 07-09-2007, 10:28 PM
 
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so far the 3's have been MUCH better than the 2's for my DS. but then again he's only been 3 for 4 months though. I was so hoping the worst was behind us as DD turns 2 in just a month!!!

Blissful Mama to DD-(5), DS-(6) and someone new due in November!
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#16 of 33 Old 07-09-2007, 10:50 PM
 
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terrible 2s, HORRIBLE 3s in this house.
I'm just tired....:
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#17 of 33 Old 07-09-2007, 11:45 PM
 
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man, from dinner to bedtime my 3yo ds made me : i had to chase him as he ran off naked after his bath. and he had a bazillion requests at bedtime. kept getting out of bed. whining about random things.

tomorrow i will have more patience. we have been under a lot of stress lately. i didn't yell or spank, but gave a ton of threats (yuck!) and probably escalated bedtime instead of calming him. the guilt is just :
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#18 of 33 Old 07-09-2007, 11:55 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Ceili View Post
at three Bear remember exactly what he's screaming about and will not be distracted out of a tantrum by something shiney.

laughup



Am I the only one who has a 3yo that is almost non-verbal? I mean he talks but we can't understand him. That is hard. He knows what he wants and we don't understand when he tries to tell us.
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#19 of 33 Old 07-10-2007, 12:48 PM
 
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I often tell my husband "They warned us about the terrible 2's but no one tells you about the 3's because you'd strangle them while they were still 2 if you truely knew about them.".... Yeah, they are oppinionated, dramatic, strong-willed, unaware of personal space, foget NOTHING and apparently hard of hearing! I loved the 2's... he was an angel. Now... not so much. There are days where I just want to lock myself in a padded room by the end of the day.

As long as you never put a 3 year old off, tell him NOT to do something, promise him something you later find out you can not do or ask them to NOT climb all over you, you'll be fine! LOL!

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#20 of 33 Old 07-10-2007, 12:59 PM
 
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ITA with the others. It's the bossiness and pickiness, combined with the ability to be totally happy one second and he next second have a total meltdown over something that just a second ago, he was happy about. The verbal ability to YELL that he doesn't like/want to do something and go on and on about it. I feel like my 3.5 yr old son acts really irrational right now. He just flies off the handle over the oddest things in a split second. Things that he has always liked, sometimes just freak him out now... basically he's very unpredictable and it seems that the weirdest things offend him. Sometimes I feel like he's a tyrant, and the whole family has to cater to his moods. My almost 2 yr old is already really intense... I'm really dreading the 3's with him, b/c my oldest one is actually the more mellow of the two and I would never have expected him to be the way he is right now.
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#21 of 33 Old 07-10-2007, 01:19 PM
 
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i love hearing these stories! of course i sympathize with all of you...DS is also "terrible 2's horrible 3's" and it's nice to know others are sharing the experience. the screaming "you're hurting me" even if you're not touching them!!! where did that come from!! and the "yes, after you finish eating" and them not hearing the yes.....or AFTER they finish something...NOW NOW NOW for everything! and VERY picky!!! it has to be his way or the highway!!! all of this it is so familiar to this household!! i'm praying 4 is better!!:

although it is nice not to have to have an eye on him at all times, but he also does not initiate solo play....and is "up my butt" all the time!: : but at the same time very independent....does that make any sense??
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#22 of 33 Old 07-12-2007, 10:46 PM
 
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well, i haven't read all the replies, but for us, we stopped telling people that dd was 3, but that she was a "threenager" Honestly... mood swings, some attitude, must do everything herself.... a *handful.*

Now she's 4 and it's another ball of wax... think i liked the threenager better!

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#23 of 33 Old 07-12-2007, 11:09 PM
 
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For both my kids, age 3 1/2 was horrible. My oldest was and still is very mellow. I loved age 1 and 2 with him. He was easy. He had never even had a tantrum. Then, when 3 1/2 came along...it was like irrational screaming tantrums 3 times a day, just complete *melt-downs* over the tiniest things. Sometimes, I'm not even sure he remembered what he was freaking out about. Then, I swear that he returned to his old self at 4.

My youngest has always been challenging. But even though he was tough on me, I thought 2 was pretty easy. 2 year olds are still babies. But when he wandered into the area of 3 1/2, it's like he had this realization that he really wasn't a baby anymore but he simultaneously feel very upset by his limitations. If he couldn't physically do something "all by myself!!!", he would just collapse on the ground. God forbid I get a fork for him, seriously, he can just collapse and shriek about how HE wanted to get the fork all by himself and how I've ruined it for him and now it's just ruined forever!. I mean, this kid could have a 20 minute freak-out over a fork!

Thankfully, he's gotten easier lately; I think he hit the 3 1/2 yr phase a bit early, perhaps because he's always been more difficult. I'm sorry but I hate this age. I said this to the nurse in my ped's office as I nearly cried on her shoulder. This kid could just pick up a chair and throw it. It has gotten easier lately though. But yeah, 2 year olds have big feelings. 3 year olds have similar baggage to 2 year olds, but combined with a greater mental awareness of things and some kind of weird angst over being in between babyhood and childhood.

Now, 4, I liked. My ped thought I was nuts for saying that. I know 4 can be hard for some. But I'll take it over 3. I love my kids, don't get me wrong, but 3 1/2 aged me.
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#24 of 33 Old 07-12-2007, 11:13 PM
 
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the screaming "you're hurting me" even if you're not touching them!!!
My little one, in the throes of the 3-ness, started saying that we knocked him down or threw him across the room and stuff like that. He had timed it so that if I gently touched his arm mid-tantrum, he would dramatically collapse and sob, "You knocked me down!!" And yk, it was so convincing that I originally thought, "OMG, did I knock him down?? I don't think I did. What if I did?" I witnessed the same thing with dh and that clued dh and I into what he was doing. One day while he was tantrumming and I was doing laundry next to him, he must have thought that I touched him and he did the dramatic collapse and accusation...I looked at him in an amused way as I was folding the laundry and said, "I wasn't even touching you at all, because I was doing this laundry." That was funny, well not to him but to me.
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#25 of 33 Old 07-12-2007, 11:34 PM
 
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My oldest (now 9) once threw himself to the ground in a fit of flopping and screaming and said that I "hit him with my eyes" because I looked at him. And sometimes, with no warning, his legs would just STOP WORKING!!! Yes. And my middle child will be 3 in Oct. yay.
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#26 of 33 Old 07-12-2007, 11:39 PM
 
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Just wanted to join in and say everything that all of you have said -- ditto here with my 3 year old DS. Every bit of it. Sigh.

So true about not being able to distract him with a shiny object (or a milky boob) anymore. He is SO GOOD at articulating what he wants that I haven't got a chance anymore.

The other day I was trying to get him to nap. I was luring him in with nursing, he got into the position and was just BLAH BLAH BLAH. I said "honey I am going to close the nana cafe if you don't want to nurse, ok?"

He said "Would you PLEASE just let me TALK?! I am trying to express myself and you're not letting me! That makes my heart sad"

:

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#27 of 33 Old 07-12-2007, 11:41 PM
 
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It's more challenging in different ways. Like every new stage. Some have trouble carrying their babe all the time and can't wait for them to walk. Then when they walk it's a whole new list of challenges.

For me three is more challenging because we are adjusting to DS having more control over himself and his choices. I'm by no means a control freak, but my son doesn't yet have the cognitive skills to deal with not getting his way all the time. A simple, "okay honey, we'll go to the park when you are done with lunch" can send him into a tantrum. He doesn't hear the "yes" in the statement he only hears that there is an obstacle in his way and it's in the form of a grilled cheese sandwich. The hardest part is it's not once in a while. If this kind of thing happened once a week we could all deal so well. It's that this type of fight can happen 20 times in one day on a bad day. And it's exhausting.
That describes my three year old exactly!
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#28 of 33 Old 07-13-2007, 12:30 AM
 
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I often tell my husband "They warned us about the terrible 2's but no one tells you about the 3's because you'd strangle them while they were still 2 if you truely knew about them.".... Yeah, they are oppinionated, dramatic, strong-willed, unaware of personal space, foget NOTHING and apparently hard of hearing! I loved the 2's... he was an angel. Now... not so much. There are days where I just want to lock myself in a padded room by the end of the day.

As long as you never put a 3 year old off, tell him NOT to do something, promise him something you later find out you can not do or ask them to NOT climb all over you, you'll be fine! LOL!
Attached2Elijah-go check your son. Make sure you don't have mine by accident, please I swear you just described my son to a T!

I don't want the padded room though. I want the mid-day cocktail I even called my mom one day to see just how bad it was on a 1-10 scale and she vetoed my mid-day drink:

I agree that three is horrendous. I have taken to just looking at people as he throws himself on the ground screaming about *whatever is causing the end of the world at this moment* and stating

He's THREE.

99% give me a knowing look and then smile and chuckle as they walk away.

I must say I have the most difficult time just walking away though.

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#29 of 33 Old 07-13-2007, 04:42 AM
 
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3.5 is the worst. 3 was actually okay and I was thinking, okay so what's so bad about 3 with this one? My oldest was born challenging but up until we hit 3.5 with my youngest she was a dream.

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#30 of 33 Old 07-13-2007, 08:39 AM
 
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Originally Posted by PumpkinSeeds View Post
Some one around here once said,

a 2yo does things that annoy you, whereas a 3yo does things because they annoy you. This always made me laugh.

Im so proud I've been quoted!!! :
We are currently very deep into the 3's for the 3rd time. 4's seem to be better but just wait till they hit kindergarten they develop a whole new set of skills
Nathan is going through the monster phase. If there is someplace he doesnt want to go he starts to wine/cry that monsters live there. OH and our invisible friend >> who is a purple baby dust bunny that wears sneakers and sits in his hand<< has been "doing" things and even wet the bed. My favorite fits are still the DROP FLOP and ROLLs usually done in public.

Jeana Christian momma to 4 sons Logan 18, Connor 15, Nathan 6, and bonus baby Jack 1
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