Single dad co-sleeping with 6-y.o. DD - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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Old 07-10-2007, 02:52 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Sorry, !
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Old 07-10-2007, 05:01 PM
 
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She is a very chatty girl who remembers EVERYTHING, but whenever I ask her about the bedtime routine at daddy's house she just says "I forget." I worry that she would keep quiet and protect him even if something were making her uncomfortable. At the same time I don't like to ask her, for fear of sending a message that she and daddy are doing something wrong.

My ex is very isolated - has no friends (that I know of), no social life. His only relationship here is with DD. And he's just... a weird person. Kind of evasive about everything. Keeps secrets. Narcissistic - thinks "normal rules" don't apply to him. I don't trust him in general.
Are you absolutely sure that there's no chance that he could be sexually abusing her? The above sounds worrisome.

Have you taught your daughter about "good touches" vs. "bad touches" and what areas are private on everyone and therefore not to be touched? I think it's really important to give children this information because if they are sexually abused, without information, they might not have any vocabulary or concept of what has happened to them, so therefore they might not be able to alert you to the situation.

It seems like whenever there's a gray situation like this where it's not clear what's going on, there's a whole tide of posters who fall all over themselves to brush away any concerns of possible sexual abuse. Why is everyone so eager to dismiss the possibility? It happens all the time. I think we all need to be more vigilant. Some biological fathers DO sexually abuse their daughters. So, let's at least admit that it's a possibility even though it's a horrific and tragic possibility.
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Old 07-11-2007, 04:46 PM
 
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The co-sleeping wouldn't bother me. My nine year old son typically sleeps in our bed still.

I do agree with having a separate space for her when/if she decides she doesn't want to co-sleep.

The 'I forget' could simply be she doesn't want to tell you b/c she feels you don't want her to co-sleep with him. Maybe she figures you would tell her to not co-sleep w/ her dad since she is transitioning to her own room at your house.

My six year is also famous for an inability to describe things without prompting first. How was your day? Fine. Did you do anything? No. You didn't go to ___________ with Mimi? Oh yea! Then he will talk your ear off. Maybe try some specifics about the bedtime routine like what book did you read...that kind of thing.

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Old 07-11-2007, 05:07 PM
 
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I see your point with this in part.

Except for the "don't *make* him" bit. Mamas get held responsible for fathers' actions all the time. He is a big boy, he can be in charge of maintaining healthy appropriate intimacy with his child. Mama looking out for her child is okay too, and if he is on the up and up, will not have the power to take this from him.

And, except for that pesky ole sexual abuse perped by men that just keeps popping up. It's everywhere. So unfortunately we have to be on it, in a big way.

I do agree that it is wise to stay out of the other parent's relationship with the child, if we are assured that the child is safe and comfortable.
If the dad is doing something inapproprate, meaning other than sleeping and cuddling with his child, then seperate bedrooms aren't going to make a difference.

OP are you asking if sleeping with a 6 yo girl means he is abusive? I don't understand the context of the question. If it is ok for him to hold her and hug her when they are awake I don't see the difference if they cuddle when they sleep.
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Old 07-11-2007, 05:08 PM
 
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Are you absolutely sure that there's no chance that he could be sexually abusing her? The above sounds worrisome.

Have you taught your daughter about "good touches" vs. "bad touches" and what areas are private on everyone and therefore not to be touched? I think it's really important to give children this information because if they are sexually abused, without information, they might not have any vocabulary or concept of what has happened to them, so therefore they might not be able to alert you to the situation.

It seems like whenever there's a gray situation like this where it's not clear what's going on, there's a whole tide of posters who fall all over themselves to brush away any concerns of possible sexual abuse. Why is everyone so eager to dismiss the possibility? It happens all the time. I think we all need to be more vigilant. Some biological fathers DO sexually abuse their daughters. So, let's at least admit that it's a possibility even though it's a horrific and tragic possibility.
......

CoSleeping is not a sign of sexual abuse.....


Here are real signs of sexual abuse, does your daughter exhibit any of these? If not chances are she is not wanting to talk to you about it because you have decided to stop co-sleeping when she didn't want to and now she can get that comfort from her father.

If your daughters attitude and personality has not changed, chances are abuse is not happening. If they have then you have a red flag.


http://www.protectkids.com/abuse/


Waking up during the night sweating, screaming or shaking with nightmares.


Masturbating excessively.


Showing unusually aggressive behavior toward family members, friends, toys, and pets.


Complaining of pain while urinating or having a bowel movement, or exhibiting symptoms of genital infections such as offensive odors, or symptoms of a sexually transmitted disease.


Having symptoms indicating evidence of physical traumas to the genital or anal area.


Beginning wetting the bed.


Experiencing a loss of appetite or other eating problems, including unexplained gagging.


Showing unusual fear of a certain place or location.


Developing frequent unexplained health problems.


Engaging in persistent sexual play with friends, toys or pets.


Having unexplained periods of panic, which may be flashbacks from the abuse.


Regressing to behaviors too young for the stage of development they already achieved.


Initiating sophisticated sexual behaviors.


Indicating a sudden reluctance to be alone with a certain person.


Engaging in self-mutilations, such as sticking themselves with pins or cutting themselves.


Withdrawing from previously enjoyable activities, like school or school performance change.


Asking an unusual amount of questions about human sexuality.


Sexual Preoccupation
Children who have been harmed by viewing pornography may be excessively curious about or overly preoccupied with sexuality. Some children expose their genitals to others or engage in a sudden, unusually high level of masturbation.

Age-Inappropriate Sexualized Behavior
Some children may display sexual knowledge and behavior beyond that which is appropriate for their age. According to the American Psychiatric Press, this is one of the few reliable and distinguishing characteristics that identify sexually abused children. Very young children may enact adult sexual scenarios and behaviors in their play with other children or with their dolls and stuffed animals.

Age-Inappropriate Partners
Having learned the message that sexual overtures are acceptable ways to get attention and rewards, children may enter into unhealthy relationships, particularly with older, age-inappropriate partners. Additionally, believing the myth generated by pornography that their bodies are for the use of others, young girls may become promiscuous. Children preoccupied with sex may attempt to engage younger children in sexual behavior because younger and smaller children are easier to manipulate and often more cooperative.

Coercion
Aggressive attempts to undress, sexually touch, or attempt intercourse with others are not uncommon among sexually preoccupied children. When a tendency toward secretive play combines with intense sexual preoccupation, a child may be vulnerable to repeating his or her abuse with other children in ways that can create chaos and further victimization. Such a child requires extensive parental supervision and therapeutic help.ii

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Old 07-11-2007, 05:17 PM
 
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Are you absolutely sure that there's no chance that he could be sexually abusing her? The above sounds worrisome.

Have you taught your daughter about "good touches" vs. "bad touches" and what areas are private on everyone and therefore not to be touched? I think it's really important to give children this information because if they are sexually abused, without information, they might not have any vocabulary or concept of what has happened to them, so therefore they might not be able to alert you to the situation.

It seems like whenever there's a gray situation like this where it's not clear what's going on, there's a whole tide of posters who fall all over themselves to brush away any concerns of possible sexual abuse. Why is everyone so eager to dismiss the possibility? It happens all the time. I think we all need to be more vigilant. Some biological fathers DO sexually abuse their daughters. So, let's at least admit that it's a possibility even though it's a horrific and tragic possibility.
It is also possible that women can sexually abuse their children so why do we always assume that a man is doing something inappropriate but not a woman? I think it is really screwed up that as a culture we are always examining men's relationships with their children to see if they are sexual predators or not. My mom was sexually abused her entire childhood so I understand the concern. We can't just assume that because a father has an affectionate relationship with his child that means he is abusing her. How awful it must be for men to be viewed as a sexual predator all the time.
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Old 07-11-2007, 05:30 PM
 
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It is also possible that women can sexually abuse their children so why do we always assume that a man is doing something inappropriate but not a woman? I think it is really screwed up that as a culture we are always examining men's relationships with their children to see if they are sexual predators or not. My mom was sexually abused her entire childhood so I understand the concern. We can't just assume that because a father has an affectionate relationship with his child that means he is abusing her. How awful it must be for men to be viewed as a sexual predator all the time.
:

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Old 07-12-2007, 01:58 AM
 
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I wouldn't think nothing of it.
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"...It's what she wants."
I think this sums it all up right here. As AP parents, isn't this what we follow?
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Old 07-12-2007, 02:33 AM
 
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It is also possible that women can sexually abuse their children so why do we always assume that a man is doing something inappropriate but not a woman?
Statistics, baby, statistics. And they are scary.
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I think it is really screwed up that as a culture we are always examining men's relationships with their children to see if they are sexual predators or not.
I think it is too bad that we have to.

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My mom was sexually abused her entire childhood so I understand the concern. We can't just assume that because a father has an affectionate relationship with his child that means he is abusing her. How awful it must be for men to be viewed as a sexual predator all the time.
Yep, that's gotta suck. I think it's really ironic that we focus on the 'poor men' angle of sexual abuse. Who's perping it? Men. In large, large numbers, the vast majority of perps are male.

I also think it's odd how many people here fear really random things, like stranger kidnapping, which is about as likely as getting struck by lightning. Yet real issues such as this get minimized, pooh poohed. Coz the poor men, you know.

My dd's father is affectionate and very involved with our daughter. I *know* he is not abusing her. You can see lots of mamas posting similarly on this thread. This one mama had an icky feeling, so she wanted to talk it out.

I think it is wise to notice when we feel creeped out by something, and really pull it out and examine where it is coming from.

Especially where our children and sexual abuse are concerned.
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Old 07-12-2007, 02:57 AM
 
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Personally, I have no issue with a dad co-sleeping with a six yr. old...but in our culture I realize it can raise people's red flags. My dd's father and I decided when she was almost 3 that it would be best if they stopped co-sleeping. The last thing we wanted was for someone to think it was something it wasn't. Her dad had a studio apartment then, but kept a toddler bed under his bed that he pulled out and made up whenever dd visited.

Go with your instincts, though. If there is something that is making you nervous I would examine it further.

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Old 07-12-2007, 02:14 PM
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Statistics, baby, statistics. And they are scary.
Actually, they're not. Very few men sexually abuse their very young daughters.

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I think it is too bad that we have to.
I think it's too bad that you think "we" have to.

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Yep, that's gotta suck. I think it's really ironic that we focus on the 'poor men' angle of sexual abuse. Who's perping it? Men. In large, large numbers, the vast majority of perps are male.
I wonder if you shrug and thnk "yeah, that's gotta suck" when African Americans are pulled over for "driving black" simply because statistically they are more likely to be driving from Miami to NY on I95 carrying drugs than white Americans? Or that people cross the street when they see a young black man approaching, or decline to enter an elevator with a black man in his early twenties? 'Cause, statistics, man. Why are we focused on the "poor black folk" angle of violent crime? Who's perping violent crime (particularly in urban areas? Black men. In large, large numbers, the vast majority of "perps" are black men. Justifies being a bigot, don't it?

Women commit the majority of infanticides, so should we be looking askance at every woman who is irritable one day? Alone with her baby? What?

Sexism and bigotry aren't one way streets, and being a victim of either of them sucks, as you put it, whether it's "statistically valid" or not.
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Old 07-12-2007, 02:17 PM
 
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Actually, they're not. Very few men sexually abuse their very young daughters.
Well experience among my friends has been different.

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I wonder if you shrug and thnk "yeah, that's gotta suck" when African Americans are pulled over for "driving black" simply because statistically they are more likely to be driving from Miami to NY on I95 carrying drugs than white Americans? Or that people cross the street when they see a young black man approaching, or decline to enter an elevator with a black man in his early twenties? 'Cause, statistics, man. Why are we focused on the "poor black folk" angle of violent crime? Who's perping violent crime (particularly in urban areas? Black men. In large, large numbers, the vast majority of "perps" are black men. Justifies being a bigot, don't it?
Oooh right, reverse racism against white men again, I forgot.

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Women commit the majority of infanticides, so should we be looking askance at every woman who is irritable one day? Alone with her baby? What?
Where I live there are a lot of programs in place to look for early signs of PPD and PPP.
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Old 07-12-2007, 02:31 PM
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Well experience among my friends has been different.



Oooh right, reverse racism against white men again, I forgot.


Nope, I don't think the OP has mentioned the color of the man's skin. Sorry to spoil your precanned response.

Sexism, yes.

Whatever. Maybe it's because I have boys that I find this sort of bigotry as ugly as sexism against girls, although I'd like to think that bigotry would offend me no matter where I tripped across it.
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Old 07-12-2007, 02:33 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Okay, all these responses have helped me put my original question into focus.

I don't believe there is sexual abuse going on. I don't think my X is "doing something to" DD.

I was concerned about how routinely sharing a bed with an adult man might effect the psycho-sexual development of a 6-y.o. girl... an adult man whose bed she didn't share from age 1 to age 5 1/2, and who doesn't have an adult partner. Not as an occasional "slumber party" treat, but as the regular night-time routine. Not as a "pile-on dad" fest with siblings, but just the 2 of them.

I appreciate the encouraging memories from women who remember co-sleeping with their dads. I also appreciate the encouragement to look on this as a situation of comfort and security rather than a dark, Freudian scenario.
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Old 07-12-2007, 02:43 PM
 
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Whatever. Maybe it's because I have boys that I find this sort of bigotry as ugly as sexism against girls, although I'd like to think that bigotry would offend me no matter where I tripped across it.
Maybe it's becoz you have boys. Or maybe it's because you fail to acknowledge the systemic imbalance of power across the genders, and across races as well (which you brought in via your previous post). I know plenty of mamas of boys who don't scream about 'reverse sexism,' who continue to maintain an analysis of sexism very similar to mine.

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Okay, all these responses have helped me put my original question into focus.

I don't believe there is sexual abuse going on. I don't think my X is "doing something to" DD.

I was concerned about how routinely sharing a bed with an adult man might effect the psycho-sexual development of a 6-y.o. girl... an adult man whose bed she didn't share from age 1 to age 5 1/2, and who doesn't have an adult partner. Not as an occasional "slumber party" treat, but as the regular night-time routine. Not as a "pile-on dad" fest with siblings, but just the 2 of them.

I appreciate the encouraging memories from women who remember co-sleeping with their dads. I also appreciate the encouragement to look on this as a situation of comfort and security rather than a dark, Freudian scenario.
Okay, so abuse is not a concern. Yay!

You know what, I would leave it be maybe right now. I don't really see a way for you to get involved without pathologizing something they have probably not pathologized, kwim?

I really do see your concerns, especially since she is sleeping in her own bed at your house, and has not previously co-slept with him.

It does sound like co-sleeping is something she still wants, since she is pushing to resume it at your house also. It's probably fine.

My dd is younger, 3.5, but she has NO desire for her own bed and when she has slept at her dad's she always co-sleeps. He made her her own room, with her own bed, and tried to entice her there overnight with that, but she was insistent she has no desire to sleep in her own bed. Same thing here as there.

I do think moving to a one bedroom apartment is a bad idea. She's only going to get older and more independent, not less. I think a child of 3+ really should have the option of their own bed, especially a girl with a single dad.

Could you mention that to him? While validating that it seems co-sleeping is the right thing for her now? I would maybe talk to him on that level.
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Old 07-12-2007, 02:54 PM
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Maybe it's becoz you have boys. Or maybe it's because you fail to acknowledge the systemic imbalance of power across the genders, and across races as well (which you brought in via your previous post). I know plenty of mamas of boys who don't scream about 'reverse sexism,' who continue to maintain an analysis of sexism very similar to mine.

Uh huh... well, I guess you know another one, 'cause I never said anything about "reverse sexism," let alone screamed it. You did, though.

Hey, whatever, have at it. For me and mine, we prefer not to think of 49% of the human population as guilty until proven innocent.
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Old 07-12-2007, 02:58 PM
 
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[
Hey, whatever, have at it. For me and mine, we prefer not to think of 49% of the human population as guilty until proven innocent. IMO, that would be a sad way to view the world. I'm not going to join the Klan or "Rev." Fred Phelps, either, for while they are certain seek different ends, it seems to me the means/attitude is the same. Not my cuppa, that's for sure.
And for me and mine, I like to protect my daughter by not living in a bubble of naivete. If it gets me called cynical or sexist against men, so be it.

I couldn't care less.

Now, back on topic...
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Old 07-12-2007, 03:31 PM
 
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Thismama I don't think we really disagree on this point. The thread was being handled properly. My post that you quoted was in response to someone admonishing people for not jumping to the conclusion there was an abusive situation. Just because I feel sorry for men doesn't mean I don't feel every once in awhile their behavior is weird and should be brought into question. It is when it happens over and over again with no real substance. There has to be other signs something is going on before we start yelling abuse.
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Old 07-12-2007, 03:37 PM
 
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Well for the men who aren't abusers it is a poor men thing.
And for the men who are, it's a poor kid thing. I'd far prefer poor men than poor kid, if that is the choice.

Which I am not saying it is, only that it is good to be vigilant and not naive. I do not automatically trust men, I have an extra screening process for them as regards my kid. I feel completely comfortable with my child's father, thank the Goddess. And I do leave my child with one male caregiver who I know well and trust, her best friend's father. But you won't find me lining up to get a male nanny, for instance.

YMMV. You protect your kid how you choose, I will protect mine how I choose.

And now, I think we're derailing at this point since the OP has indicated she does not feel her child is being abused. I'm kind of done arguing this on this thread, although if anyone wants to start another, be my guest.
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Old 07-12-2007, 03:45 PM
 
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And for me and mine, I like to protect my daughter by not living in a bubble of naivete. If it gets me called cynical or sexist against men, so be it.

I couldn't care less.

Now, back on topic...
You make me wonder if I started pulling out all the statistics on how often women physically abuse their children vs men and how the physical abuse is MUCH more often perpetrated from the mothers then the fathers if you would agree with me because of statistics and my real world experience or if you would fight tooth and nail against it.


You keep saying statistics, that is fine. But you do realize that most violence against children, not nessesarily sexual, is perpetrated by the mothers right? Do I need to go get the statistics again?




Sorry, I find classing all men as pedophiles until proven innocent is disgusting and insulting. You may be ok with being a misandrist but don't expect others to be happy go lucky with it.

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Old 07-12-2007, 03:55 PM
 
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You make me wonder if I started pulling out all the statistics on how often women physically abuse their children vs men and how the physical abuse is MUCH more often perpetrated from the mothers then the fathers if you would agree with me because of statistics and my real world experience or if you would fight tooth and nail against it.
Sure, I'll buy that. I don't know if it's true but let's assume yes. Who takes care of children primarily? Women. If men did primary childcare, I'll bet we would see a statistical reversal there. Fo' sho'.

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Sorry, I find classing all men as pedophiles until proven innocent is disgusting and insulting. You may be ok with being a misandrist but don't expect others to be happy go lucky with it.
Whatevs. I honestly don't care if you think I'm a mis-whosa-whatsit. I protect my child how I see fit, you protect yours how you see fit. As I said before.

Fully half my female friends and lovers were sexually abused in childhood. 1 in 2. All by men, and with lifelong effects. It's a real risk. And I refuse to be naive about it because the implications are threatening. My child's physical and emotional safety is my first priority. Over and above all else.
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Old 07-12-2007, 04:01 PM
 
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.....although if anyone wants to start another, be my guest.
http://www.mothering.com/discussions...38#post8619638

Just asked a few questions to get views.

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Old 07-12-2007, 04:54 PM
 
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Yep, that's gotta suck. I think it's really ironic that we focus on the 'poor men' angle of sexual abuse. Who's perping it? Men. In large, large numbers, the vast majority of perps are male.

I also think it's odd how many people here fear really random things, like stranger kidnapping, which is about as likely as getting struck by lightning. Yet real issues such as this get minimized, pooh poohed. Coz the poor men, you know.

My dd's father is affectionate and very involved with our daughter. I *know* he is not abusing her. You can see lots of mamas posting similarly on this thread. This one mama had an icky feeling, so she wanted to talk it out.

I think it is wise to notice when we feel creeped out by something, and really pull it out and examine where it is coming from.

Especially where our children and sexual abuse are concerned.
: thismama, you are the most awesome! Thank you for saying it all so clearly and eloquently--and with humor. Meanwhile some of the things said in this thread have reduced me to this:
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Old 07-12-2007, 05:34 PM
 
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I would do some deep down soul searching. Ask youself, do your questions and hesitations stem from some subconsious perception of threat on your part? Do you think he could be sexually abusing your daughter? Do you think he ever could... what if when she's 8 or 10?

If you answer Yes to these questions, I'd try to get to the bottom of it without necessarily immediately judging your gut instinct. Just go with it... what are the red flags... what are the concerns stemming from... what behaviors?
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Old 07-12-2007, 05:54 PM
 
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: thismama, you are the most awesome! Thank you for saying it all so clearly and eloquently--and with humor. Meanwhile some of the things said in this thread have reduced me to this:
Thanks for the back up!! Sometimes I'm like this: : during these discussions. I mean, the internet is one thing, but then I think: are people really thinking about the *actual world* when they post? Or an imagined utopia?

I notice myself sometimes thinking of imagined utopias sometimes when I talk about things online, because it's so... not real, this internet world. And because I know everything I say will be scrutinized. I notice I talk to my friends IRL more honestly. So I've started trying to post what I would say. If that makes sense.

Common sense that includes the uglier things about the world. Yep it's not nice, not ideal, but dude... this is my flesh and blood *child* I'm talking about.
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Old 07-12-2007, 06:51 PM
 
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Thanks for the back up!! Sometimes I'm like this: : during these discussions. I mean, the internet is one thing, but then I think: are people really thinking about the *actual world* when they post? Or an imagined utopia?

I notice myself sometimes thinking of imagined utopias sometimes when I talk about things online, because it's so... not real, this internet world. And because I know everything I say will be scrutinized. I notice I talk to my friends IRL more honestly. So I've started trying to post what I would say. If that makes sense.

Common sense that includes the uglier things about the world. Yep it's not nice, not ideal, but dude... this is my flesh and blood *child* I'm talking about.
I personally know three child molesters and a rapist. They are all related to me in some way; my grandfather, my neice's step father, my DH's uncle and my uncle. If you count the great uncle (my grandfather's brother) I have that I never met I know four child molesters. No I don't live in utopia.
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Old 07-13-2007, 03:31 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I do think moving to a one bedroom apartment is a bad idea. She's only going to get older and more independent, not less. I think a child of 3+ really should have the option of their own bed, especially a girl with a single dad.

Could you mention that to him? While validating that it seems co-sleeping is the right thing for her now? I would maybe talk to him on that level.
Yep, that's about what I decided to do. And the 1-BR move is off the table for now - he decided to stay in his 2-BR for now.

Last night I told her it was okay with me if she sleeps in daddy's bed at his house, if that's what she and daddy both want to do, and that she shouldn't worry about keeping it a secret. And I told her I hoped she would never be afraid to tell me anything.

And she kind of shrugged and kept nattering on about her day at day camp!
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Old 07-25-2007, 12:20 AM
 
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I personally would have no problem with it. He's her father and she clearly has a need to be near him at night or she would sleep in her own room. I try to put myself in the situation and if I were the single parent only seeing my 6-year old son every other weekend, he would be sleeping wherever HE needed to feel comfortable and secure.

I guess my point is that he is NOT doing anything harmful whatsoever. In fact your dd seems to really enjoy that time with him and he recognizes that she needs to be near him. So, I guess I'm missing why this is such a problem, especially considering her young age. She is happy and healthy.

In addition, he has no obligation to follow your bedtime rules at his home. Of course, it would be wonderful if you were both on the same page on every issue, but I doubt that can happen in every instance.

GL!

I totally agree with this poster. Your ex is probably dealing with his own guilt over being gone for 2 years. So, let them build their bond again. Your dd may not want to sleep near daddy once she begins to go through puberty (9 or 10)....just forewarn him that he may have to move again once she gets a bit older.

Consciously mothering 3 girls and 2 boys
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Old 07-25-2007, 01:03 AM
 
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This thread is a little old... but since it was bumped up and I read through all of the responses... I feel the need to comment.

My DF has remarked to me on several occasions that I am the only woman that he has had a serious relationship with that was not raped or molested. Often, his previous partners did not disclose this until he had known this for quite some time, of course. This makes him very suspicious of other men where his daughter is concerned. It is more common than we would like to believe.

But since the OP's gut is telling her that everything is okay on that front, I would just like to put this out there: Since you mentioned that you were afraid of her feeling weird about cosleeping with her father when she is older, maybe you should consider going back to cosleeping for a while? It might normalize it in your dd's mind if it was okay with both of her parents. Just a thought.

It is so hard when the rules are different at a child's two houses. My soon-to-be stepdaughter shares a room with her mother and cosleeps with her often. Here, she has her own room. DF transitioned her to sleep in her own bed when she started spending weekends with him. It made sense at the time because I wouldn't feel comfortable cosleeping with her - she's not my child, kwim? Not that she would fit with two adults, a baby and a dog anyway.

I bring this up, just because the situation does warrant the question: What if your ex starts seriously dating someone? What are his plans for sleeping arrangements then?

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Old 07-25-2007, 09:52 AM
 
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What if your ex starts seriously dating someone? What are his plans for sleeping arrangements then?
I wondered about this too. I would insist on her having her own room always, so it's not an issue.
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