Santa/Easter Bunny/Tooth Fairy/etc. Also, where babies come from. - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 4 Old 07-12-2007, 11:24 PM - Thread Starter
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My daughter has been asking a lot of questions. The first was the Easter Bunny. She said that people call the Easter Bunny "Peter Cottontail" but Peter is a boy's name and the Easter Bunny lays eggs. Only girls lay eggs, so the Easter Bunny must be a girl. But then she said that bunnies don't lay eggs so how does that work. Eventually she worked it out that it's just a story. After that, she started asking questions about other things along those lines. Reindeer don't really fly, and Santa couldn't fit down a chimney or get to everyone's house in one night. Etc.

I'm afraid she's going to tell all her friends and their moms and dads will get upset with me! Is this a silly fear? I can't help it. She was asking about how babies are made, and I just answered each question without explaining more than she specifically asked, but she kept asking questions and before long had the whole thing worked out. She told a friend about it, and the friend's mom said that they were putting off having that discussion, like she was unhappy that I'd told my daughter. Wait till my daughter tells the girl that there's no Santa! I told my daughter that kids like to pretend about Santa so we often pretend he's real even though he isn't and other kids might be having fun thinking he's real still. But she's 5. And she's a young 5. She doesn't have that kind of impulse control. In head, out mouth.

So how do you deal with this kind of thing? It's more of a peer pressure thing between me and other parents than specifically related to my daughter, maybe. I'm not going to not answer questions my daughter asks because her friend's mom might not like it. How do I handle this whole situation? I'm lost. Surely someone else has dealt with this.
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#2 of 4 Old 07-13-2007, 12:03 AM
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Well, I totally understand your fear as I too would have the same issues in your situation... but I think you are obligated to your daughter to answer her questions truthfully and age appropriately. If she is ready to know Santa isnt real and want to know the story behind it.. go for it! Shes just a really smart kid who puts things together that are pretty complex for little minds. Other parents will just have to deal with it but I would not lie about it or scoot around the subject.. If my child asks me a question wanting the truth after already suspecting Santas not real, Ill let him/her know.
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#3 of 4 Old 07-13-2007, 12:53 AM
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My 6 yo has never believed in any of those things, and he's never ruined anyone's christmas or easter. it's ok. teach her what you want, just remind her to be aware that some kids do indeed believe that santa is real, etc. and that it's not her job (or privilege) to tell them otherwise.
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#4 of 4 Old 07-13-2007, 02:06 AM
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I would say that if she's asking for information, she deserves straight answers, and you were right to give them to her.

Regarding other people's children: we should not withhold the truth from our children for fear of their sharing the truth with other children. It bothers me that adults get so attached to keeping their children convinced of the "realness" of fictional characters. So yes, please don't worry about other parents. That's their issue to deal with. One hazard of leading children to believe things that aren't true is that they might discover the truth before their parents are ready for it. These parents just have to get over it, that's a hazard they should have known would exist. What you told your daughter about some families pretending Santa is real sounds reasonable to me.

may my heart always be open to little birds who are the secrets of living whatever they sing is better than to know  - e.e. cummings
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