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Trying to stop watching so much TV

1K views 20 replies 17 participants last post by  hubris 
#1 ·
My 4 YO is watching WAY too much TV

I am home all day with him and I am pregnant, so it is so easy to let the tv time get way out of hand. I don't even want to admit how much TV he is watching.

I really want to cut WAY back...like a couple times a week at the most. I think TV is a pretty big waste of time and I don;t watch very much of it. It's just that DS is very high energy and wants someone to entertain him constantly. If I put the TV on for him he will let me do whatever I want. It is VERY hard to resist.

We get out and do tons of stuff, but it doesn't seem to help much. When we are home it is non stop asking to watch the TV if it isn't turned on.

Please, I know there have to be other families that have broken this habit. I would like to hear about anything that helped you get out of this horrible rut.

I am worried that when the baby is born it will only get worse...also, I really don;t want to have the baby watching TV...
 
#2 ·
I think I let the kids watch too much tv. We bake, we play, we dig in the backyard, we go to the store, we draw, we read, we sing and dance . . . but the tv comes on at some point. I'd say in an average day it's on anywhere from 1-3 hours.
:

Ds1 is super high energy, and goes at full speed when he is on. But when he is off, he sometimes needs something to zone out on. I mean, he does plenty of "quiet" things on this own - drawing, playing with trains, imaginary play, etc. But he has said things to me like "Mommy, I want to watch tv because I'm tired but I have a lot of energy in my body, and I don't want to be mean to anybody."

So I'm torn about it. Before I became a computer addict I needed tv to zone out on sometimes to help me relax. I am a huge reader, but when I was really tired reading was just too much for me. And ds1 is a lot like me, so I can sympathize with how he feels about it.

And I hear you about the baby. Ds1 didn't really see tv until he was about 2yo. Ds2 has seen it from birth, simply because he has an older sibling watching it. That has always bothered me, and I still feel guilty about it.

But my best advice about cutting back is to just do it cold turkey. Either no tv in the morning, or no tv after dinner (we've done both of these) or one show, or whatever it is that would make you feel better about it. It will be hard for a day or two but then they will most likely adjust.
 
#3 ·
Ever since I started allowing TV at 2 years old DD always wants to negotiate for more time with it. I like the time I get to clean uninterrupted and all that too -- so I do know how easy it is to over rely on it. But... I shut it off after the one episode a day she gets of whatever it is I put on (Peep, Muzzy, Sesame Street, whatever) and just suck it up that she will be pestering me.

What helped me the most is child proofing our screened patio and making stations. I can throw her out there and just let her entertain herself.

I got the blue economy sand table from daycaremall with a lid and free shipping for $70

http://daycaremall.com/sand_water.html

I saw it at the science museum with rice and loved the simplicity of the design. It takes a beating and keeps going! I bought one for our church nursery and I like it better than the Step 2 or Little Tikes fancier sand tables. It is way easier to clean and move around to different locations.

If I fill it with water and give her scoops and funnels and things she plays there for yonks. If I fill it with birdseed, same thing. Rice, pasta, sand, dirt, flour... she loves it.

If I put the lid on, she can use it as a table to paint on. So I keep her paints and paper out there too so she can help herself. There's a plastic shelf out there she knows is for drying her art work.

Or she can do playdough on it.

There's some bubble bottles on the patio with various bubble tools so she can blow bubbles too.

When we got out new dinette set, it came in a box packed with styrofoam. I put it out there and she had a styrofoam pit for a few weeks til I decided to toss it. I gave her BBQ skewers and she's string the styrofoam on it while I was reading on the patio. So I was there with one eye on her so she wasn't poking herself but I got to relax and read too. Her friends who came to play loved the styrofoam pit too. I try to keep that corner stocked with just boxes. It's not always as cool as the styrofoam pit box because we aren't always buying things that big, but if I get boxes in the mail I throw the boxes out there for a while. You know kids and boxes.

She likes window clings on the sliding patio doors. Arrange and rearrange. I have a few seasonal ones. Soon it will be time to break out the halloween set.

She has balls and ring toss out there also in a milk crate.

I made a felt board by cutting a piece of big felt and inserting it into a sturdy poster frame. Then she cuts up felt to stick to it. Here's one page of patterns from a lesson plan. The pages you want are 10 - 12.

http://www.funlessonplans.com/acamp/campout.htm

I haven't hung it yet, but I mean to hang it on the wall out there so it's another area to play with. Right now we play with it propped against the wall.

HTH!

A.
 
#4 ·
Have you tried telling him "no tv today"? I know that my kids will keep asking for something if I don't let them know what I have in mind.

When TV has gotten out of control in our house, it tended to be when I was very tired in the morning, and the tv got turned on before anyone had eaten breakfast or gotten dressed. I would be sleepy and goofing around online, and the next thing I knew, WAY TOO MUCH time had passed. SO just making the rule that we wouldn't watch tv till after everyone had eaten and had breakfast kept us from falling into that particular rut. Another thing that helps us is watching shows we've recorded on TIVO, instead of watching live TV where one show just runs into the next without anyone having to make a decision.

So my advice would be to try to figure out when you're most prone to turn on the TV and come up with another plan (play-dough? turn on music? turn on an audio-book?) for that situation.

Good luck!

ZM
 
#5 ·
Sometimes before the kids get up, I actually unplug the TV. Then when ds gets up and asks for the TV to be turned on, I tell him it doesn't work today. I even let him try to turn it on. Then I say, "Maybe it will work tomorrow." Everytime he asks to watch TV, I remind him that we couldn't get it to turn on. Sometimes he even tries again to turn it on. After several days, he quit asking so much. Now he hardly asks to watch TV at all.
 
#6 ·
The only way I was able to do less TV (because I could be a bonafide couch potato) is that we got rid of it before ds was born. He's 3.5 now, and we do let him watch DVD's on our computer. It will buy me 1 hour of time but at least I can control what he is watching and there are no commercials. He's not into movies yet (we haven't really introduced them), but I can get Pooh dvd's, train dvd's, stuff from the library or Peep (a great science/cartoon program for kids).

Because the computer is so much less a focus in our house he doesn't ask for it as much as I think if it were a TV that had a focused place in our living room. I can close down my laptop and it's nearly gone. Maybe just moving the tv would help?
 
#7 ·
For me, when they're really bugging me to watch TV, if I can get through one TV-free day, it gets much easier. It's like a habit. You have to break the habit and a child has to learn to occupy himself in non-TV ways. So there's like a withdrawal period, I think.

What has helped for us in those big TV phases is to play music or audio-books. I think they like hearing something in the background sometimes. Right now, my 6 year old is listening to Henry Huggins on tape. My 3 year old is not very interested in that, but he loves to listen to CDs of "Charlie and Lola" (TV show) or any kind of nursery rhyme music. The library often has tons of these, so it cuts down on the cost.
 
#8 ·
We thought having the tv in the basement would help us watch less, and in some ways it has. The unintended effect, however, is that I can't get much done during tv time b/c I can't leave a 2 yo unattended in the basement for more than 5 or 10 minutes! Also, then it's much harder to turn off after 1 or 2 shows. The computer only idea is good, except I like TV too after the kiddles are nightnight
:
 
#9 ·
I handled a similar situation by making tokens for my son's favorite shows. We agreed on how much TV per day was ok (let's say 2 PBS Kids shows) and each morning he would choose tokens representing the TV shows that he wanted to watch that day. That way, we were limiting TV but he also had some control over what he was watching, and he understood (he's 4.5+ now, was over 4 at the time) that once those shows were gone, there was no more TV for that day. If he changed his mind during the day, he could trade tokens. The idea is to help give a concrete representation of how much TV he is planning to watch as well as to build the concept of purposefully choosing what to watch rather than just mindlessly turning it on.

We relaxed about it for a while but recently the viewing/requesting has gone up and my 2 y/o is now turning on the TV every chance he gets, so we're returning to the token system as of this morning. So far, so good.


Pic of my tokens. Each also has a clock face showing the time when the show comes on.
 
#10 ·
This is something we have to deal with periodically at our house too--it seems to go in cycles, up and down. I usually let my two watch tv so I can get something done, and it becomes a daily habit. One short show after breakfast, so I can clean up the kitchen, and then another before lunch, so I have time to cook, and another after lunch, to wind down before naps etc... Then one short show turns into two and before I know it the tv is on too much.
What I try to do is rein it in to the original one show. I use DVDs or videos to curb the easy slide into the next program on tv. Then the next day I eliminate one or two of the tv times--I plan a walk after lunch or an outing in the morning after breakfast, whatever. I keep eliminating until the tv time is under control.
I have friends who have had luck with the "tv time ticket" approach, where you give your child tickets or chits of some sort, each representing a certain amount of viewing time, and let them turn in a ticket each time they want to watch something. This is nice because you get to decide how long the child can watch but he gets to decide when and what. It gives the child some control, and you're not the bad guy--when the tickets are gone, no more tv.
Good luck! (oh, and don't feel too bad, but your second child will watch more tv at a younger age than your first. It's a universal law
)
 
#12 ·
We moved to a house where the TV is downstairs. Everything else is upstairs. You have to make a conscious decision to watch TV.
DD can watch DVDs on the computer. We don't have very many DVDs, just educational stuff. I've been very vigilant about not letting them in the door. If you already have too many, donate them.
We also don't have the kids cable channel so it's often very hard to find something appropriate for DD to watch, which we complain about but it makes it harder to just switch on the tube.

Treat it like an addiction (ingrained habit) - you need some serious measures to get out of your routine.

g/
 
#13 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by g&a View Post
We also don't have the kids cable channel so it's often very hard to find something appropriate for DD to watch
Good point. We don't have cable, which greatly reduces the available kids' programming - all we have for them is PBS.
 
#14 ·
We have no-TV days on Monday, Wednesday and Friday. That works great for us. I'm thinking of adding that on the two other weekdays they can only watch an hour of TV but I haven't decided on that yet. The way to do it is just cold turkey. And make sure you tell him it is a no-TV day to begin with and then if he asks later just remind him that it is a no-TV day. Sometimes I'll suggest other activities but I'll usually get a "I don't WANT to ___" (a big phrase around here lately) so I just let them figure out how to fill their time when I'm not entertaining them. Have an unlimited supply of paper and crayons has helped with this
 
#15 ·
We don't have children yet...

But we have been TV-free for several years now. We just went cold turkey.

We had cable for years and watched it a lot.

Then we moved and had rabbit ears for about a year, getting 13 channels, half of them French.

I thought all we would watch would be the news... but it didn't work out that way. When I was at work DH found it impossible to resist just flicking it on.... to have it on. He was watching crap, Blind Date and smut like that. He didn't like it, he complained about the shows all of the time. Plus, after work it was too easy for me to flop on the couch and stare at a piece of my living room furniture.

So, we unplugged the antennae and threw them in the closet. FREEDOM!! Life has been much better since.

We still have the device to watch films on DVD. We have a much loved collection of great movies that we watch on weekend evenings for dates. 

As for the antennae, the only time they are ever plugged-in is when the Olympics are on (every two years) and during an emergency: Iraq invasion, London Bombing, etc. On major news days like that (I work in News) we have to watch the evening newscasts… but thankfully, that only happens about once a year.

SO, that's where we are now. I can't really picture changing when our children are here. It's very important to us to not watch TV. We talk all of the time, all through the evening we talk with each other, drink tea, read books, re-arrange our décor, play with the cats, phone family members, work on hobbies, cook, clean, play, etc. If I were home during the day, I imagine I would wrap myself up in projects and crafts and a WAHM business, etc. along with cooking and housekeeping of course.

Could you make it a family decree that you will not watch the box anymore?? If you made it a group effort and made it a conscious choice, it will be easier to stay with your decision and explain it to your DC. "We don't watch TV anymore because: it's bad for our brains/We are cutting cable to buy books/It's a waste of time/It distorts reality/it stunts reading ability and collapses the scope of imagination." Pick your favourite!

I imagine it would be REALLY hard to stop my child from watching TV during the day if "watching TV" was part of part of our family routine. The only way I could envision stopping my child from watching TV would be to stop watching it as a whole family. Make it the way your home is. Otherwise it's "do as I say, not as I do" you know? It would be hard to convince a child why it's not a good idea for them to do something if you and your DH are doing it.

It's great that you are trying to cut-back on the TV watching! I watched WAY too much as a child and I regret 99% of those wasted hours. I wish my Mom had pulled the plug out of the wall and put me in the play room or outside. She did sometimes, thank goodness, but I wish TV hadn't been there.

If you don't have a TV to watch, you will find other things to do…. It might take a while to adjust, but it will happen! There are lots of websites with Non-TV things to do.

Good luck!!

Trin.
 
#17 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by veggiemomma View Post
Sometimes before the kids get up, I actually unplug the TV. Then when ds gets up and asks for the TV to be turned on, I tell him it doesn't work today. I even let him try to turn it on. Then I say, "Maybe it will work tomorrow." Everytime he asks to watch TV, I remind him that we couldn't get it to turn on. Sometimes he even tries again to turn it on. After several days, he quit asking so much. Now he hardly asks to watch TV at all.
That hilarious!!
what r u gonna do when he figures out that tv needs to be plugged in?
 
#19 ·
I think cold turkey is the only way to do it. We are tv free and have tried reintroducing it a few times only to have it be a disaster. We do have a tv with a dvd player for special times we rent a movie (no reception, just for movies) but its still an issue then of one child in particular wanting to watch the movie over and over (I usually end up "breaking" the dvd player and putting it away completely for a few months because this is so annoying to me)

Anyway, its very hard to break from the mainstream on this one, so I wish you the best of luck
 
#20 ·
I posted about this several months ago and decided after careful consideration, that dc could watch as much as they wanted and see what happens once they know it's not limited. We have no reception whatsoever, so it's only dvd's I'm referring to. At first they watched something ridiculous, like 6 hurs/day. It drove me nuts. It tapered down significantly over the course of a few weeks (and I kept thinking, 'does this really work? What about their brains??!!'). Then we moved and that broke up the pattern and since then, they have watched about 2 hours/day. I don't feel guilty about that because when I consider that they are awake for 14 hours/day, and don't nap, I can reasonably consider this their 'down-time.'

I haven't had cable since I was living with my parents (14 yrs ago), so I am not remotely interested in it anyway. I suppose dvds could begin to take over, but I haven't found it too difficult at least in the past couple of months to just do other things than watch them. I do play a lot of music- it helps dc focus when they otherwise would ask for a movie. Sometimes they do ask for a movie and I suggest music instead. They are not always happy about that, but I tell them that it would really help me if they were willing to listen to music with me instead of putting on a movie, and that we could dance and sing together; I also add that they could bring their playsilks in and wear them while they dance (and they love the feeling of that- so they almost always agree to it).

Before we moved here, we did have PBS reception for only 3 hours in the morning (??) and we watched Peep and Charlie & Lola. I told them that we could watch them as long as they were jumping on their trampoline (in the livingroom- it's mini), because if they weren't expending energy, they'd be awake even longer. They gladly agreed and for 45 minutes or maybe an hour (is that how long those 2 would have been? I don't remember), they jumped and jumped and jumped. I have recordings of the wild ways they learned to jump during that time
.

You could institute a correlation between watching tv and physical activity so that once they're done the activity, the tv goes off. I figured if they're jumping, they are both using energy and also still engaging their minds and bodies in more ways than just passively receiving information. I should add that I didn't make it a rule, I just suggested it, brought out the trampoline and continued to encourage them (so maybe it was a little coerced...).

Now, even though we don't have the jump-as-you-watch activity anymore, they stay active while watching, acting out the movie, saying the lines, singing the songs and every now and then, they lounge on the couch or floor, but that happens far less frequently than the active stuff. I think I created an expectation that if you're watching, you're active and they have expanded what that means to include dramatics and giant bursts of running, wrestling, dancing, etc...

I hope you find a solution that benefits everyone in your family
 
#21 ·
Cold turkey might be hard for kids to understand/accept. For those who are more consensual/UP/etc it also would probably not fit with the parents' guiding philosophy.

This past week we had a family meeting about our TV use that eventually led to the return to our token system. We were careful to talk about EVERYBODY's habits, not singling out the kids, and all of us gave ideas about how to change our behaviors. Any idea was written down. Then we all chose which ideas we could all live with. I really didn't want it to be about me or DH handing down the law. DS1 is old enough that he is much more likely to get on board with a family plan if it was actually a family plan - i.e., made by the whole family, not dictated by a parent.

Yesterday and today I saw him turning on the TV at times when it was supposed to be off. We had a talk about our family agreement and I reminded him of the other solutions and suggested that maybe we needed to try another solution (like unplugging). Today he did it again so I pointed out that our agreement wasn't working and of the remaining options, unplugging was the most mutually agreeable to us, so the TV got unplugged. After lunch we talked about other solutions and he came up with one: when the TV is supposed to be off, put a sign on it.

Great idea. And he came up with it himself. Can't believe I didn't think of it. I made a stop sign for the TV and we're going to give that a try.
 
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