anyone very short cut a 4yo girl? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 23 Old 09-14-2007, 11:47 AM - Thread Starter
 
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My daughter is almost 4. She had very long hair until about a month ago. She was fussing so much about brushing it that she agreed to a haircut. (She complained earlier, but when I suggested we cut it she said no.)

She balked at the hairdressers and compromised: four inches taken off. Brushing got about 50% easier.

About a week and a half later she again fought on the haircut and we got another 3-4 inches taken off in a bob above her shoulders.

A week and a half after that and we had a huge fight over brushing her bedhead . It takes 5-10 seconds and we only have to do it once a day, unless we have a dressier evening activity and then twice. Huge fight. I said we had to brush it or cut it again. She said cut it.

I have no idea what to ask the hairstylist. I thought about crew cutting her. I got out the clippers this morning but backed off out of fear, although if her father is on board I'd probably do it. Also she has mildly prominent ears and I was hoping we'd get them more corrected before anything like that, but that's really no big deal in my book. I just mildly prefer she not notice them until they are less prominent (we brace them at night, although I need to order more so she's not in treatment now).

She has straight brown hair.

Thoughts?
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#2 of 23 Old 09-14-2007, 11:56 AM
 
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I sympathize. I have gone through this with my daughter. I went through this on the other end of it as a child. My mother cut off all my hair. Remember the bowl cut? That's what I had.
It worked well enough, did what it was supposed to. Brushing was no longer a fight or an issue. However, I hated it, I thought I was ugly with it. I was teased, and had issues at school from it. I have self image issues that I blame that haircut for to this day.
I complied with the hair cut, I went along with it. I agreed to it. I regretted it.
I'm not saying that this will be the case with your daughter, but it's something to consider.
Have you tried detangling spray? It's helped my daughter to no end. Have you tried changing the style of brush. We use a natural bristle brush, it's softer, and she's much more agreeable with it. Have you tried teaching her to brush her own hair? These are all things that made life much easier for us.
I hope this helps some.
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#3 of 23 Old 09-14-2007, 12:08 PM
 
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My friend's daughter has the cutest short hair cut. It's very short and stacked in the back, about chin length in the front. It is precious!!! She can wear a headband if she wants, hair clips on the sides but the back is super short. She has straight brown hair as well and it's just the cutest pixie look.

It looks like this and I love it! You have to scroll to the bottom:
http://www.beauty-and-the-bath.com/I...Gallery-1.html
This is a longer version:
http://www.hairboutique.com/tips/tip18028.htm
with bangs:
http://www.headcovers.com/newimages/...Paris-Wigs.jpg

Here's another one
http://www.bellaonline.com/articles/art20404.asp

Oh and as far as what to ask your hairdresser, this style is called a "Stacked or Inverted Bob"
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#4 of 23 Old 09-14-2007, 12:16 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by amcal View Post
My friend's daughter has the cutest short hair cut. It's very short and stacked in the back, about chin length in the front. It is precious!!! She can wear a headband if she wants, hair clips on the sides but the back is super short. She has straight brown hair as well and it's just the cutest pixie look.

Oh and as far as what to ask your hairdresser, this style is called a "Stacked or Inverted Bob"
This is actually what I asked the hairdresser for last time but she ignored me and I figured we would just get it done when she needed a trim (at our regular place -- we were on vacation before).

But it's not much shorter than what she has, and it's still going to need brushing Honestly it's so short now that if she's complaining, we're going to either have to work on it (and I'm going to try some more tricks after the pp describing her discomfort with her supershort hair) or do something drastic.

My son doesn't need to brush his hair, and my daughter is jealous. But, she is a feminine girl and interested in being pretty. She's not quite self-critical yet but I'm afraid that day will happen any time now at her age.

We do not see many girls with hair any shorter than hers around here.
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#5 of 23 Old 09-14-2007, 12:18 PM
 
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My daughter has somewhat thick blonde hair. It is long, hits the middle of her back. I have had issues with snarls and knots in her hair. These are things that work for us:
1) Always comb hair when she is distracted. We watch relatively little TV in our house. But I ALWAYS let her watch for the 5 minutes it takes me to comb her hair. She just isn't focused on all the tugging, etc.

2) Wet hair down. I usually spritz hair and then brush or comb, always starting at the bottom and then working my way up. What I mean is that I brush the 1st (bottom) inch, and then the next inch etc utnil I work my way up to her scalp.

3) I try to grasp her hair when I'm combing, so that it doesn't tug directly on her scalp, but my hand acts as a buffer.

4) 95% of the time she wears her hair in braids. Either one braid or two. Sometimes she has asked to wear her hair in pony tails but I find that this doesn't really keep it from getting snarly.

I know I didn't really answer your question about whether to cut again. My overall feeling is that it doesn't really sound like you want her to have a crew cut. I mean, do you REALLY?? You want her to be more active in her hair hygeine and not so argumentative and defensive, right? That sounds more like a behavior you two need to work together on to find a compromise. Just my .02. I know how dreadful this hair thing can be, so good luck. Let us know what happens.
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#6 of 23 Old 09-14-2007, 12:19 PM
 
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Oh, I wouldn't cut it. You know, you can get a nice hair spray which makes hair brushing very, very easy for just a few dollars. I would give you the name of the one I use with my girls but as I live in Switzerland, we have different brand names here and I am sure you can find the equivalent or better at your local store.
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#7 of 23 Old 09-14-2007, 12:21 PM
 
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What about something like this?
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#8 of 23 Old 09-14-2007, 12:26 PM
 
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We use the Target brand detangling spray, which costs less than a dollar, and it is a miracle worker. I can't believe I grew up without it.

What is this about bracing ears? I've never heard of such a thing. One of mine has got ears like airplane wings, is there something we can do about that? I always thought she could have them altered surgically when she got much older, if she really wanted to. I mean, I think she's adorable no matter what, but I also can consider that if it were me, I might get self-conscious about it at some point.

"If you only knew how many things I want to say and don't, you'd give me some credit."
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#9 of 23 Old 09-14-2007, 12:47 PM
 
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Originally Posted by mzfern View Post
What about something like this?
As a child I had a cut like this, but since my hair was straight and babyfine it laid flatter. and the hair dresser would cut my bangs so that formed a little point in the middle of my forehead (sp?) it was a really cute pixie cut, I looked like a little elf or fairy (I had bright red/ strawberry blond hair). It was the only thing that could be done since my hair wouldn't hold baretts or elastics. I kept that hair cut until I was 9 maybe 10,

I think you can have a short but still feminine cut on a younger girl, eventually at some point the short cut like that will look more boyish - at least they did on me.

Wife to DH Chris, Momma to :Caitlin Mae (4-28-07)
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#10 of 23 Old 09-14-2007, 01:02 PM
 
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My DD has thin, fine hair too. We have always kept it pretty short, about 1/2 inch below her ears. She wants to let it grow out right now but it grows pretty slow. Her hair gets tangled bad, no matter how short it is, so I feel your pain. I was the same way as a child.

We use a leave-in detangler/conditioner in the mornings before heading out to school. I spray it in and then brush it and it dries up nicely. It really helps!

__________________________________
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19 yr old
12 yr old
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#11 of 23 Old 09-14-2007, 01:25 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by momileigh View Post

What is this about bracing ears? I've never heard of such a thing. One of mine has got ears like airplane wings, is there something we can do about that? I always thought she could have them altered surgically when she got much older, if she really wanted to. I mean, I think she's adorable no matter what, but I also can consider that if it were me, I might get self-conscious about it at some point.
The airplane wing ears result because the cartilege at the top of the ear did not complete its fold.

This can be reshaped in childhood similar to wearing a positioner on teeth. It is not particularly painful. You bend the ear into its fold for some or all of each day.

I use metal clips from Auri Clinic (google Auri Clinic). The kit is quite expensive but I got mine on Ebay and they are selling me replacement parts without asking if I ever bought from them. I just have to get my arse in gear to order new clips. We decorate them with little stick on gems and she wears them at night. Full time would take less time, but she doesn't mind wearing it at night. I only did nighttime for about three months before I ran out of supplies in my used kit; I can see an improvement. However, the method is supposed to be used for about 9 months. I figured we'd do it at night and if it took two years, who cares, it's at night when it won't bother her. For daytime, the kit provides clear double-stick shaped tapes to tape the ear back; however hair catches in the adhesive. (Perhaps the issues in this thread will make it a non-issue.)

They do the surgery under general anesthesia typically and it is, of course, expensive. And not necessary, though the Auri supplies are only offerred by scant few American physicians.
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#12 of 23 Old 09-14-2007, 01:29 PM
 
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Have you considered letting it grow out and braiding her hair every night. That changed our lives, once it grew long enough for braids. We use Circle of Friends detangler, but seldom need it since we started braiding most of the time.
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#13 of 23 Old 09-14-2007, 01:35 PM - Thread Starter
 
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When she had long hair, I would brush it in the nighttime bath full of conditioner and then braid it after she rinsed. However, we would have to brush it periodically during the day when she chose to have it down, or right before I put it up for gymnastics etc. She likes it loose.
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#14 of 23 Old 09-14-2007, 06:43 PM
 
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Originally Posted by pinecone View Post
My daughter has somewhat thick blonde hair. It is long, hits the middle of her back. I have had issues with snarls and knots in her hair. These are things that work for us:
1) Always comb hair when she is distracted. We watch relatively little TV in our house. But I ALWAYS let her watch for the 5 minutes it takes me to comb her hair. She just isn't focused on all the tugging, etc.

2) Wet hair down. I usually spritz hair and then brush or comb, always starting at the bottom and then working my way up. What I mean is that I brush the 1st (bottom) inch, and then the next inch etc utnil I work my way up to her scalp.

3) I try to grasp her hair when I'm combing, so that it doesn't tug directly on her scalp, but my hand acts as a buffer.

4) 95% of the time she wears her hair in braids. Either one braid or two. Sometimes she has asked to wear her hair in pony tails but I find that this doesn't really keep it from getting snarly.

I know I didn't really answer your question about whether to cut again. My overall feeling is that it doesn't really sound like you want her to have a crew cut. I mean, do you REALLY?? You want her to be more active in her hair hygeine and not so argumentative and defensive, right? That sounds more like a behavior you two need to work together on to find a compromise. Just my .02. I know how dreadful this hair thing can be, so good luck. Let us know what happens.
This is all good advice. I do the same thing with my little girl and very rarely do I get a complaint. Distraction works the best- tv is good, but have her draw a picture or build a puzzle- whatever she likes to do best. Also, I've found the spay does wonders. My little girl's hair is often sticking straight up when she wakes in the morning and 5-10 minutes of distractions and spraying, she's ready to go.

I pray for the day Family Court recognizes that CHILDREN have rights, parents only have PRIVILEGES.  Only then, will I know my child is safe.
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#15 of 23 Old 09-14-2007, 07:04 PM
 
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My 9 yo got a pretty short cut in the spring for the same reason, she doesn't like brushing it. She just found a picture in one of the hair style books at the haircut place. I think it came out a little shorter than she expected though so she wasn't too happy with it. But fortunately hair grows and she is more interested in brushing it now.
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#16 of 23 Old 09-14-2007, 07:15 PM
 
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with bangs:
http://www.headcovers.com/newimages/...Paris-Wigs.jpg


My dd is 7 and just got this. We cut off about 5 or 6 inches, the kid hairdresser was like, are you sure, and I said this is what she wants. We love it. The hairdresser razored her hair in back to get the minilayers. Her hair is very fine and thin (and blonde) and she is very elfin. Perfect.
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#17 of 23 Old 09-14-2007, 08:34 PM
 
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Thanks for the Auri clinic info! I'm going to look into it. Also I'm PMing you w/ a couple of questions, hope you don't mind.

"If you only knew how many things I want to say and don't, you'd give me some credit."
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#18 of 23 Old 09-14-2007, 10:51 PM
 
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My DD is 4 and has a pixie cut. Not quite as short as Mia Farrow's pixie, more like the one Michelle Williams has right now. It is adorable on her, and couldn't be easier to take care of, however, in order to pull off a pixie without looking like a boy, a girl must have a very feminine face.

Most of the time we just comb it straight when wet, but sometimes I'll put mousse in and give it some volume.

She is the only little girl we know with short hair, however, as DD says, "it is nice to be different!"
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#19 of 23 Old 09-15-2007, 08:57 PM
 
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I always used to use Circle of Friends detangler on dd's hair, but after a new bottle got poured out last month :, I picked up some of the Target brand for $1. It works just as well, if not better.

Mom to Eoin (11/02), Eilis (09/04), Eamon (07/07), and Ellery (04/10)
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#20 of 23 Old 09-15-2007, 10:42 PM
 
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I have cut DD's hair very short (1-2 inches) several times. She has the most beautiful hair, strawberry blond with spiral curls, and it does kill me to have to cut it so short.

But she gets these snarls that will not come out, and use to scream while I tried to work them out. It did not matter what products I used, what conditioner, detangling spray, what combs or brushes. Even when I tried to comb it with conditioner in while wet it would tangle during the super gentle washing and when I would go to try to braid it. Then she would shriek while I went though it as gently as possible and while I braided it. It was horrible for both of us.

I had it cut into a pixie cut when she was 4. It has to have been one of the best things that I did to reduce stress in our lives. She did not really want it cut, but had started to refuse to let me comb it. After 3 days (which was the time frame that I told her she had to let me comb her hair) we went to the shop. It took them over an hour to get the tangles out enough to cut her hair at all. It turned out so nicely though and DD loved it once she realized how easy it was to take care of and how cute that she looked. We repeated the cut a few more times on her request as it grew out to be too unmanageable.

Now at the age of 8 she has bangs and chin length curls. She choose to start growing her hair out again and has been doing so much better since I put her in charge to doing the initial brushing, with just a follow up for styling or braiding from me. The tangles are starting to get crazy again, but not too bad so far. I will let her decide at this point what she wants to do, as she is responsible for keeping her hair clean and combed.

Good luck deciding what to do!

Unschooling Mommy of 3: Lilith (14), Panda (6), and Fox (4)
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#21 of 23 Old 09-15-2007, 10:55 PM
 
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er...yes. sort of.

i brought home my baby from the hospital, and my just-turned four-year-old decided she wanted to look just like her baby sis...and she took scissors to her scalp. literally.

we shaved her bald, and it was a good experience, since it grew out much healthier than before.
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#22 of 23 Old 09-19-2007, 08:52 PM
 
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I love pixie cuts on girls! My daughter had her hair cut SHORT for most of her fours, and has now grown it out. A blogger in Australia (applehead) posted pictures of her daughter's new pixie - it is sooooo sweet. Pick your battles. Mornings are bad enough without adding to the angst. There are lots of ugly bedheads walking around the world. While I hate it when my kids look like this, I see it on so many other kids that I just let it go most of the time. Then again, my son wears the same dirty shorts several days in a row because he can't bear to wear anything but his favorite. At some point, someone else is going to say either 'ew- stinky shorts' or 'why do you always wear the same thing', and my work will be done for me!
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#23 of 23 Old 09-19-2007, 08:56 PM
 
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Mine has short hair. She loves it, although a major drawback is that societally there are VERY rigid gender role expectations for girls and boys, so she is very often assumed to be a boy. Sometimes this is okay, other times she gets sick of telling adults and other children, "No, I'm a girl with short hair."

Honestly that part is a serious PITA. But short hair is super easy to maintain and ever so cute on little ones!
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