~Just waiting for the new October Feather, May 04 Mamas~ - Page 7 - Mothering Forums

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#181 of 317 Old 10-22-2007, 12:42 PM
 
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Oh, elsanne. I'm so sorry for your loss and for the yucky pukies and everything else. I was sitting here, just thinking about how sad/wierd/yucky that must have been. boo. (and also rethinking my plan to get an IUD!)

We had a pumpkin carving party on Saturday as an inaugural event for my new mom's group. 10 families, lots of kiddos and pumpkin guts everywhere. We even had two new moms come, and they had a hard time covering their horrified looks when the 3 and 4 year olds formed a dogpile in the middle of my living room. Somehow I've become immune to the sight of a pile of writhing limbs, as long as they don't have shoes on. you know? How far we've come. Anyway, it was really good and fun and low key.

heather? now? now? now? no wait... now? :

TC- neglected man? he and sweets could bond a little. let's just say the baby is two months old and....
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#182 of 317 Old 10-22-2007, 01:03 PM
 
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Still here! Soon I hope!

at the thought of pumpkin guts everywhere!

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#183 of 317 Old 10-22-2007, 01:09 PM
 
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: elsanne. What a rollercoaster. :

mmm... pumpkin guts.

And fine, Go Sox.

*mwah* I'm off to work.
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#184 of 317 Old 10-22-2007, 01:34 PM
 
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Pumpkin guts! Doesn't get better than that! EL, I love the dogpile. Were the new moms, "new" moms? I remember some of the things that used to freak me out, or things I thought I would "never" or "always" do with my kids when I was a new mom. :: Those were the days, eh?

HF, thinking of you, as always. Hope you are comfie and relaxed.

Jess, bummer about the botched guys night out for your DH. I have to admit, I am always impressed with guys taking the kids OUT with them, because DH doesn't really do that (not with babies anyway, he does now that Jett is an 18 mo old lil dude), but then when I hear stories like yours, I know why my DH never did that. He's can handle the fit, but he would rather do it without all the eyes on him. Oh... and you didn't mention, how was the pleasure party? I went to one yearrrrrrrrs ago and it was fun, but I wasn't impressed with the selection. : They seem to go heavy on the flavored and/or warming lubes, which give me a yeast infection just looking at them. Ew.

Els,

FF, I loved reading about your comparing of milestone. John often has those kinds of reactions, since Sultan's development was so much more delayed than Mia's or Jett's. Sultan didn't even walk until he was over 2 years old, so there was not as much uncertainty about how delayed he might or might not be, but it's still glaring when you see your other child(ren) walk at or before 12 months. And you know.... you can add me to moms who feel like everyone does it with so much more grace than I. And honestly, I often think of you when I am having those thoughts. This is why I think it's valuable for women to share the way we do in our group, because otherwise, I think it's too easy for all of us to walk around with those self-criticisms, seeing everyone else as doing it better, but the truth is, we are all struggling in our own ways.

TC, despite the joys of homeownership, I am still super jealous of you and your beach house. We went camping in June, but other than that, it's seriously been 2 years since we took any sort of vacation, even just a weekend somewhere, and even that last trip involved a funeral, so it wasn't exactly a joyous getaway. Anyway, can't wait to see photos!!!

Sooooooooo, I am the only one of the MMFs who doesn't go to church?

Men feeling neglected? Bah! Work it out, fellas. (Sorry, I'm fresh out of sympathy for neglected men. : )

Relaxing day planned here. John is likely staying home from work, Mia has school and then this afternoon is her first ballet class! (She was barfing last week and we had to skip it.) Will post a photo, for sure!

Adios, muchachas.
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#185 of 317 Old 10-22-2007, 02:17 PM
 
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No, Meg, I don't go to church, either. I am cyclically a interested in doing the UU thing, but it hasn't happened yet. Not a priority at the moment. Maybe when I get out of school.

Hah at pumpkin guts. Sounds fun. I wish we were all closer so we could have an IRL mamas group with all of us. I totally remember having a 4-mo-old and watching with horror the toddlers/preschoolers running beserk at playgroups. Now I do only have one, and she's a pretty gentle girl, but I still have a much higher threshold, for sure...

I've always wanted to go to/host a passion party. I hate the flavored lubes, too. But I'm always interested in pretty toys...:

Claudia- sorry to hear about the heat sitch. I can't wait to see pics! Sounds like a great place.

In our old house news, DH finished the concrete footings on the south wall of the basement, so no more house jacking for a while! Yay! This means that we can, theoretically, start putting in the floors and do the bathtub wall...not that it will actually happen anytime soon, but it is possible. Sigh.

Emmalola, I love my IUD. And I put in two on Friday at clinic! Sorry, TMI. :

Els, how are you feeling today? I'm thinking maybe you need to crash and rest after a crazy weekend...hope things are leveling out.

Heather? Heather??? I'm keeping a candle almost constantly lit.

Sarah
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#186 of 317 Old 10-22-2007, 06:00 PM
 
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i soooooooooooo do not go to church. the running joke at our house is when bill calls his parents on a sunday and they ask him what we're up to, his reply is "just getting ready for church: when they know full well he wouldn't set foot in a church at his own initiative unless someone was getting married or died. maybe a baptism. maybe.

naking and s is falling asleep, as i hoped he would. hard to type on this split ergonomic keyboard one handed though...

thinking of heath...

~c
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#187 of 317 Old 10-22-2007, 06:14 PM
 
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Wowee, Elsanne... I'm so sorry. That sounds horrible, and I get the mixed emotions and all. (and I'm like who was it, MCSB or EL? with mixed feelings about the prospects of an IUD... sound so great, but sound so scary.)

Heather, are you out there having a baby???? s for you, too.

Ferny, I want to say more about the comparison of development with W and L, but nothing profound here. Just that with one's first kid, one is also learning all about kids, all about parenting, etc. I don't know that I would have seen red flags with Z if it weren't for T coming first, if you get my drift.

No, no, no---go ROX. I will sheepishly admit that the person working at the computer today (sometimes dh, sometimes me) has been trying since this morning to get Rock Pile (ie, cheapie) tix to the World Series. It's a real mess... 8.5 million hits in the first 90 minutes this morning, and the whole thing crashed. If we can't get the tix ourselves, we definitely won't be going... the scalpers are going to make it impossibly expensive to consider.
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#188 of 317 Old 10-22-2007, 06:18 PM
 
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hey mmf, wanna see some ridiculously adorable pics or mcsb's lil? (pics taken by the same photog that did ours, a local pdx photog mama, and i stumbled upon them when i was looking at belly pics of her and another pdx mama friend)

and sarah: let me know if you want me to remove the link...
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#189 of 317 Old 10-22-2007, 08:34 PM
 
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Nope, babe still in belly, but subtle signs that things are moving along at a snail's pace. Having one of my more patient days so that's a good thing...

GO SOX!

L is edibly adorably cute!

On development/differences between kiddos....amazing to see how my two are night and day and a bit at times to see how far advanced E's play skills are over C's. They are both precocious/asynchronous in their own ways and dare I say I will be : if I get a third opposite w/ this next one!

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#190 of 317 Old 10-22-2007, 08:36 PM
 
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georgous! we *really* need to get on this photog bandwagon! she takes great pics

i'm taking a break from frantic cleaning before mom gets here. and i have loaded the entire back of my 4runner for a trip to goodwill. thankfully a friend took isaac out to the park for a bit so i can clean in a completely forward motion isaac lloooooooooves to clean but sometimes he makes it a slow process. has anyone tried the magic eraser? i never had but my cleaning gal told me i should get it. (there is nothing nfl about it but i suppose that is why it is MaGIC!). so i finally did because we have all these scuff marks on the walls from who knows what and the dish sponge hadn't taken them off. all gone! wow.

that was me that was scared of the IUD. but i want one. even though i am now freaked by elsanne's experience. and there was an IUD baby in my ddc for ebin.

the passion party was ok. i went to one before with a woman who was completely comfortable with the subject and had all kinds of toys to pass around and it was a blast. this time the girl was really pregnant and the poor thing had the WORST preg-brain. she's like 'i have this uhhhh stuff....uhhhh. can't remember the name. uhhhh' i mean she should have been at home with her feet up and she had one toy. waaaay too focusued on the stinky creams and stuff. but i was still happy to go out

i hope it won't be a whole year before doug takes the kids again. zoiks. usually ebin is so chill i didn't think it would be a big deal. but he was too tired. and in about a month i'll be starting him on solids so that will help. ebin's working on sitting up and i think he'll be good to go in about 4-6 weeks (or at least try it).

ebin had 2 shots today and didn't even cry with the first one. and then he went 'eeehhh' for the 2nd and was over it. i'm spreading his shots out and so far no probs. i asked my ped about the rotovirus one messing up his intestinal flora and she thought it was probably a normal developmental change in his intestines. he only poops once every 4 or 5 days and it stinks. she said the theory is bf babies can poop infrequently because they use so much of the bm and produce very little waste. and then it stinks because it sits around in the intestines for a lot longer. (not doing the rest of the rotavirus series anyway though).

a toy rifle arrived in the mail today. my mom bought it in iowa. she asked first because i'm decorating isaac's room in cowboy stuff but she didn't know if i would want a gun. so it will go on his wall. i'm sure he won't like that. i have an antique toy tin guitar on his wall too (cowboy). he wants it down once in a while and calls it his 'lele' (ukelele).

can you tell my baby is sleeping? chatty cathy here. i don't want to vacuum until he wakes up. which should be anytime now.
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#191 of 317 Old 10-22-2007, 08:39 PM
 
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oh yeah - what does KK think the new feather will be?? i think her gender predicitons are right every time

i'm holding onto a few baby boy clothes over here just in case
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#192 of 317 Old 10-22-2007, 09:02 PM
 
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jstar tell me more 'bout this iud baby. how did it survive the iud?
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#193 of 317 Old 10-22-2007, 10:31 PM
 
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I think Heather is having another girl, but I really, really hope I'm wrong (especially if you hope I'm wrong, too). Not that I have anything against girls--I would *love* another one myself--but I think it's interesting to experience both genders.

The Rockies tix are still totally locked up... I don't know what happened, but I guess everyone on the planet (literally) tried to get tix, and the server crashed. :

The pix of Lily were beautiful (am I wrong to think she looks just like MCSB, except for coloring)? Were there supposed to be pictures of M in there, too, TC?
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#194 of 317 Old 10-23-2007, 12:21 AM
 
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OK, IUD stuff:

1. My cousin who is now 34 was an IUD baby in the 70s. Supposedly my aunt delivered the IUD right along with him.

2. That said, the effectiveness of an IUD is more than a tubal. Really. So Elsanne, you are one fertile mama!

Let me know if ya'll want more info. I have TONS.

Thanks for the love on my beautiful babe.
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#195 of 317 Old 10-23-2007, 01:26 AM
 
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and she is SO TOTALLY gorgeous. I'm thinking she's going to be one amazing, complex woman when she grows, and the man who takes her on (assuming she's hetero) will be one valiant fellah.

Based on a) how high needs of a baby she was, and b) the fact that she's a redhead. Excuse me, all redheads out there, but it's overall a true fact that you are more demanding than your average bear.

And Heavens, she truly is a beautiful child. Those almond-shaped eyes! Blue that pierces into your soul! She's just stunning.
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#196 of 317 Old 10-23-2007, 02:12 AM
 
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Sheesh, thanks; you're making me blush.

I'm laughing at your hetero comment. DH and I and our nanny make sure she hears about all the possible permutations of love relationships, but she is certain that her "true love" will be "a man." I think I probably told you guys this before.

Oh, and I hope you didn't take offense at my fertility comment, Elsanne. You sound like you have a good grip on things. I didn't mean to make light of the event.

Sigh. I am procrastinating, big time. Although aren't these things the most important things in life, anyway? What more should I be doing than talking about children, love, and uteruses with a group of amazing women? Hmmmm. I just realized that hopefully I will be able to talk about all of those things quite a lot in my actual job, the one which I am enduring all this school hardship to get!

jstar - I meant to say WOW I can hardly believe Ebin is getting close to sitting up. Time FLIES.

S.
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#197 of 317 Old 10-23-2007, 08:57 AM
 
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Just here to claim morning goddess..... (though I daresay I am *not* moving that fast these days!)

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#198 of 317 Old 10-23-2007, 11:58 AM
 
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Sarah, no worries about fertility comments. I daresay it's true. They say bellydance makes one more fertile, and that a man who practices the tantric non-ejaculation thang has a higher sperm count, so I guess we are recipe for many beautiful children. Just too bad we can't support them all!

I realllly want to hear more about how the IUD could be more effective than a tubal ligation. I don't see how that's possible. I think I'm going to get another IUD despite this experience because of all the options, that's the only one that still appeals.
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#199 of 317 Old 10-23-2007, 01:41 PM
 
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I'm really curious about IUDs, too, but maybe I should pm my questions? (Or feel free to pm the answers.) I guess I'm most curious about what the ramifications are if you have an IUD and you do get pg. Also, I'm wondering what you might know about how IUDs impact ovarian cysts and milk supply (I've heard/read negative things about Mirena, and I couldn't pin my ob down with a straight answer).
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#200 of 317 Old 10-23-2007, 02:42 PM
 
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totally anecdotal, but a pdx mdc mama has a little 2 year old that is an iud baby. iud was birthed right along with the babe, in her case. don't know exact details, but she realized that iud is not the right option for her to prevent pregnancy.
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#201 of 317 Old 10-23-2007, 04:07 PM
 
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I'm another one of those skeeved but intrigued by an iud. since i get migraines from hormonal birth control, I'm pretty limited to just the copper iud, which i hear has worse side effects. not so great. I'd love to get a mirena, but for the cost, I hate to think of having to get it removed instantly if migraines pop up again. what a waste.

I have a friend who was born with an iud stuck to her forehead. seriously!

mcsarahb, your little girl looks wise beyond her years. what amazing photos!

rox vs sox? getting more than a little excited. sweets is all about the sox, I'm about the rox. this is hilarious, since this is more exposure to sports than either of us has ever experienced in our lives. but still fun. I remember when the red sox won before- that was the birth year of our may babes and sweets actually woke up the lentil to let him know that the curse was over. very funny.

I have a few minutes and I'm trying to decide if I will work on the lentil's halloween costume or work on my dissertation. like I should even consider anything but the diss.
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#202 of 317 Old 10-23-2007, 04:12 PM
 
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EL-- I know...I have fond memories of being up w/ a screamie C and watching the action...

We are undecided on a 4th so I have no idea what we're going to do. I've heard negative things about the mini pill and IUD w/ supply and couldn't do the IUD for personal reasons and condoms are so blah. But we did want to wait a teensy bit longer in between if we do go for a 4th so who knows! Maybe three kids will be all the bc we need!

Nothing new at the mw appt, still 3cm and had her sweep the membranes so we'll see....

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#203 of 317 Old 10-23-2007, 04:22 PM
 
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heath: just wanted to say how much i love the stalk-y avatar. : makes me schniggle, which is like a giggle but quieter and kind of snicker-y. not chocolate bar snicker, though.
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#204 of 317 Old 10-23-2007, 05:01 PM
 
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I was gonna say that sarahb's L has very wise eyes, but elola beat me to it. She's gorgeous. What great photos!

Wondering if we'll be stalking into November : and thinking warm, easy thoughts for Heather.

Go Sox! Go Rox! I'm back and forth between them, so I'll be happy either way.

We don't go to church either, though we'd like to. Hard to get into the habit when there are only so many hours in a weekend. But the girls have been asking, so if we can't get it together to go, maybe we should send them with their grandfather... if he'd take them. Don't know.
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#205 of 317 Old 10-23-2007, 05:38 PM
 
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Oh my gawds…how long has it been since I posted???

I have been reading along and sending out all sorts of telepathic messages of support and love to each of you over the last couple of weeks. Remember last week when you had that momentary feeling that the universe was giving you a hug? – that was me.

So, a quick (ha ha) update from me (with bullets!):
·I went to the When Childbirth is Traumatic conference at the beginning of the month and it was mind-blowing. I learned so much about women, trauma – heck, myself, that I am changed. I see myself doing a LOT more in this area of work in the future and it is very exciting. It was also very difficult and I am looking for resources for myself to get some support and more intensive therapy. Needed but hard.
·I was in Vermont for a long weekend and it was so nice. We went to visit my friends that moved there. There is more info and pix of their time living with us up at www.thegerb.net under Photos as well as pictures of their new house. Sigh, their house and life was so relaxing and rejuvenating. It was well worth the expense and challenge of traveling with two small kids 6000 miles in less than 5 days. The trip was Alison and I’s Christmas gift to each other.
·My mom arrives for at least a month-long visit on Saturday. I am sooooo looking forward to it. I want to see her and I want to have another adult to rely on when stuff gets to be too much in keeping house/job/kids/marriage going forward. We’re trying to get her to stay for three months, but so far she’s not going for it.

Thanks for thinking of me, fiddlefern. I am sorry that I haven’t been here for you and touched that you missed me.

Els, I want to envelop you in a huge hug and kiss your hair (is that too much?) I am deeply sorry that you had a miscarriage and I hope you are now getting lots of rest.

Heather, I am sending you happy end-of-pregnancy thoughts. I have a lavender candle waiting to be lit just for you.

On church – we don’t attend. I was raised Baptist, joined Congregationalist, Alison and I used to attend Quaker and we’re toying with UU. I work Sundays now, but Alison has promised that we would go after I have the weekends off again.

On baseball – Can NOT get into it. I consider the 5 hours we spent at JFK airport on Sunday as more than enough baseball talk/tv/fan enthusiasm for me. Wow.

Love my MMF.
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#206 of 317 Old 10-23-2007, 06:44 PM
 
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We got to the "enter your information" screen for WS tickets, but everything locked up, and we timed out. ::: So close. Oh well. Still trying, but not optimistic now.

Lisa, so nice to see you! wave wave wave Enjoy your mom's visit.

We're undecided on a 4th (but leaning against, currently). I also feel a little skittish about permanent BC, though I will sheepishly admit that we're not super fond of most of the non-permanent methods. Heath, kids have not been a very effective method of BC for us.

With a membrane sweep, you're either in labor by now or nothing, right?

Els, my dh is a redhead (though fading as he ages to strawberry blond), and he's probably the mellowest, quietest, calmest redhead you'll ever meet.
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#207 of 317 Old 10-23-2007, 10:35 PM
 
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*vegetables quietly peering around corners*

if vegetables could light candles tonight, they would

and I have
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#208 of 317 Old 10-24-2007, 12:36 AM - Thread Starter
 
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You make me smile with your wit, Juice.

Lisa, so glad to hear from you again. I see how you operate, make your friends update us on pix of you and the fam! What a gorgeous group! I think E really takes after you, and A really favors A. What a treat to glimpse into your lives!

KK, sorry about your non-luck scoring tix.

Sarah ,your LIly is absolutely stunning. those eyes....:

Do we have any mamas in the fire-y areas? I'm drawing a blank on the location of our Cali mamas. If memory serves, nuggets is further north, but mamameg, are you close? I'm keeping all California fire ravaged r threatened families close in my thoughts. I hope it all gets under control soon.
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#209 of 317 Old 10-24-2007, 12:37 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KKmama View Post
I'm really curious about IUDs, too. I guess I'm most curious about what the ramifications are if you have an IUD and you do get pg. Also, I'm wondering what you might know about how IUDs impact ovarian cysts and milk supply (I've heard/read negative things about Mirena, and I couldn't pin my ob down with a straight answer).
The IUD is the most effective type of contraception out there. It protects mainly by inhibiting sperm and making the uterus “inhospitable” to implantation. Studies have shown that fertilization of an egg happens very rarely, and when it does, implantation is inhibited. The Mirena also has progestin, which thins the endometrial lining and inhibits ovulation in some women. So the bottom line is that if you do get pregnant, it is more likely to be an ectopic pregnancy, because the IUD prevents implantation more than it prevents fertilization. HOWEVER, that pregnancy was destined to be an ectopic anyway, regardless of the IUD itself; it does not cause ectopics.

If a woman with an IUD gets pregnant with a normal, intrauterine pregnancy, there is a 50% chance of having a miscarriage (up from about 10-20%, I think, with any other pregnancy). One of my gyn books says, “After removal of the IUD, the spontaneous abortion (i.e., miscarriage) rate decreases to about 30%.” My preceptors recommend taking the IUD out because carrying a pregnancy to term with an IUD increases the risk of infection. But here we’ve just had some stories of people keeping it in, so…I don’t know. I’m guessing you probably don’t want the Mirena in through a pregnancy because of the hormone.

As far as milk supply, the IUD is much less likely to impact supply than combination pills. As long as you start after your supply is well-established, at 6 weeks postpartum or more, it shouldn’t make a difference in supply at all. In the clinic where I was last quarter, we put it in breastfeeding moms all the time. I am afraid I don’t know that much about cysts. I see on some of the public web sites that the Mirena “causes ovarian cysts,” but I’ve never heard of that in any lectures or from any of my preceptors. I will ask this week, though. Now I’m curious. 

Quote:
Originally Posted by emmalola View Post
I'm another one of those skeeved but intrigued by an iud. since i get migraines from hormonal birth control, I'm pretty limited to just the copper iud, which i hear has worse side effects. not so great. I'd love to get a mirena, but for the cost, I hate to think of having to get it removed instantly if migraines pop up again. what a waste.
It is my current understanding that combination contraceptives (pills with both estrogen and progestin) are more headache-inducing than the progestin-only types (a few pills and the Mirena IUD). Also, the progestin in the IUD has much less systemic effect; it mainly works locally on the cervix and uterus, a little on the ovaries (about 30-40% of women stop ovulating). But some women find that even progestin-only methods make their headaches worse. Do you know what type you were on?

Quote:
Originally Posted by elsanne View Post
I realllly want to hear more about how the IUD could be more effective than a tubal ligation. I don't see how that's possible. I think I'm going to get another IUD despite this experience because of all the options, that's the only one that still appeals.
Paraguard (copper): 0.8% failure rate
Mirena (progestin): <0.5% "with perfect use" in one book and 0.7% in another
Female sterilization: 0.5%

So you guys can see that I’m biased. Unfortunately no type of contraception is perfect, IMO, but this is the best of the options. I love my Mirena. Short, light periods, low risk, less systemic effects.

Sarah

P.S. Hi, Lisa!!
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#210 of 317 Old 10-24-2007, 01:42 AM
 
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Hi Lisa!

Blessings, Heather, my candle is lit

Thinking safe thoughts for the Cali mamas...

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