glad to have found this thread, i'm also struggling with my 4 year old - interrupting, constant talking, whining, balking at any request, and so on. i've been trying so hard to implement GD & unconditional parenting principles, do playful parenting and so on, but it's so so hard for me. the underlying theory makes so much sense, and when i can be playful and lighten up and let go of trying to control too many things and demonstrate to my ds that i love him unconditionally, then things really do work pretty well.
... and then real life kicks in, and it's 8:05 am and i'm trying desperately to get all of us packed and out the door so i can get the kiddos to daycare in time for breakfast and get myself to work at a decent hour (because if we don't make it out the door in time for breakfast, then i have to feed him at home, which will set us back another 45 minutes at least, making me even later to work...) - and even though he's been up since 6:45 am and i've given him lots of prompts, and lots of attention, and helped him get dressed, and let him watch his favorite PBS show, and given him juice and a tide-me-over snack - he still gives me some kind of grief about getting out the door.
i know i know i know the underlying need is for: my attention, connection with me, not having to go to daycare, etc etc. but i work, and i eventually have to get to work each morning, and at some point i just need to get his patootie in the vehicle so we can go! (meanwhile, i'm doing all this while juggling my 5 month old's need for nursing, clean diapers, non-spit-up-on clothes, etc.). my dh leaves the house at 7:15 am so he's not available to help at the critical "leave the house" time. and, he's less supportive of GD et al, so when i try to debrief with him, his response is that i need to "show ds who's boss". which isn't that helpful to me...
a lot of mornings i am in tears by the time i get everyone buckled into their car seats and can finally pull out of the driveway. the worst is when i get to the daycare one minute past the end of breakfast and they've already stopped serving and of course my stash of breakfast bars that i keep in the car is empty and i can't leave him at school with no breakfast. ARRGHHH!
i just really sympthasize with everone else posting here. i feel like i have way too much going on and i'm not succeeding at anything. i'm not sure what the answer is - i know there is a solution - but i haven't found it yet. without making drastic life changes, i suspect the best i can do is hang on and wait it out - this phase too shall pass...
hugs to the other mamas of 4-ish year olds!