Join Date: Nov 2003
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I guess this could be a gentle discipline issue, but I'm wondering more about the brain of a 4 year old. What is he getting out of this?
Well, I'm joining you all
DS's behavior has been ATROCIOUS!! ATROCIOUS!!
Briefly, I felt like I wanted to run away from it all. I don't like that feeling 1 bit. I would never do that of course but just getting out of the house for a few hours have saved my sanity. There are times when it's hard for me to be around DS.
Challening issues we've been dealing with:
Interrupting DH and I when we talk. If I say in a minute he will yell "Mommmiiieee!!!" until I snappishly ask "What IS IT DS???" and he will say "Nothing" :
When I quietly say it's time for his bath, he screams and yells and starts running all over the house. I have to catch him. By the time I DO catch him, I'm exhausted with sweat pouring down my face and trying to catch my breath.
He NEVER does anything I ask him to do. It's like his natural reaction is to do the opposite.
I'm rambling but Parenting my 4 year old is wearing me down as well. Sometimes, I feel like a failure as a Mom.
It makes me feel worse when we go out in public and I see Kids DS's age and they are quietly walking next to their parents holding their hand.
DS???? HA! He not only snatches away from me, he's still running away from me when I try to give him a little lee way. So, I have to hold his hand again, and then if we are crossing a street he will stop directly in front of an oncoming car and WON'T MOVE unless I pick him up and carry him the rest of the way.
Also, DS is an Extrovert Extrovert Extrovert. He has to be engaged in conversation at all times. I am an Introvert so sometimes meeting his need can be a challenge.
He won't let me out of his sight. He even goes to the bathroom with me. Even if I have to BM. You'd think he couldn't stand the smell but he CAN.
Sleep- Sleep is an annoyance in life to DS. He truly does not like to sleep. He doesn't nap and will still fight to stay awake if he's been up all day.
With a nap, he goest to bed between 11:00pm-11:30pm.
WithOUT a nap, he goes to bed between 9:30-10pm!
Ugh! It's hard.
We never experienced what some people call the Terrible Twos with our son. We did, however, have what my husband and I call the F*n Fours.
I'm sorry you're having a rough time. It will get better, I promise!
I'm with you guys. My twin boys are 4y4m. They're wearing me down. Every single day. I feel terrible because sometimes I don't even enjoy being around them and I feel like our day is just "getting through" with no time or energy left for fun and silliness. My oldest just turned 6 and I remember 3.75 until 4.5 was tough. I need to remember that. I feel like I barely survived that though and now we have TWO of them acting like that.
My good friend has twin boys that turned 4 a couple weeks ago. She sent me an email today with a list of normal development for 4 year olds and what types of behaviors are normal. One was "oppositional behavior". Yeah, we've got that.
I told dh the other night that I'm having a really hard time with 4. No matter how hard I try not to, I end up yelling every day. Multiple times. I told dh that I feel like I'm just getting torn down a little bit each day and the cumulative damage is not good. I'm not at all the mom I want to be to them and I worry every day that I'm causing lasting damage and we're not going to get out of the phase.
My friend suggested anti-depressants (I have a 5 month old baby too and she thought they could help if it's PPD) to get through. I really don't think it's me though. My husband is one of the most patient and easy going people I've ever known and he's having a hard time too.
I go to bed every night feeling sad for how the day went and wanting to change but as soon as my buttons are pushed repeatedly, I go into my default mode of yelling. I feel like I'm a terrible mom to four year olds.