those are all really good things to think about. I take my ds to work with me and take one class online and one class is a saturday morning class, if I'm not with him, his papa is, so I don't think that is from a lack of attention. He does wake up more when there is a disruption, he'll wake up 7=10 times a night instead of his usual 3-5. I do the same thing that you do, I snuggle him to sleep and then join the bed with my dh. I have been crawling out of bed everytime he cries and snuggling hin back to sleep but I started this week to not actually get into bed with him, but talk softly and massage him from the side of the bed, I notice that he sleeps better when I do that then if I get into bed with him.
thanks for the helpful wisdom.