Let me start this off by telling you I need you to be gentle with me......
Ds is 3.9, will be 4 in June. Having problems recently, last few weeks. He has a new sister, 5 mo. Here are his 3 stages during a day:
1) acting out, temper tantrums, including hitting and kicking, refusal to do anything I want him to without a screaming fit. Arguing with everything I say, except sometimes when he says "FINE!" To which I reply, that's the first time you agreed with me all day
Try to make a funny.
2) Me deciding he needs more attention, so saying, come on honey, lets do I spy books, lets read, lets go get the mail, help me make your pbj, etc. So I am actively making sure he is getting good attention. (As much as I can)
And please don't thump me on the head......
3) At night, when it's time for him to go to sleep, dragging everything out into slow motion, so it takes 2 hours from start to finish, with him screaming, yelling, crying, "CUDDLE WITH ME!!!!!" The baby is screaming downstairs to be nursed, dh can't take care of her (no boobs) by this time, I am completely out of patience, need a break, lose my temper, listening to the baby cry downstairs while ds is attaching himself to me. I want this time with him to be nice and cuddly, but its just frustrating for all of us.
So, I was thinking that he needs more attention during the day, and won't have nighttime problems, but then I realized he is getting all of my attention, and poor dd is spending a lot of time in her crib laying flat on her back listening to him scream, because I need to calm him down and am afraid she will get hurt. Some days, when he is finally asleep, I go to nurse her, and don't even have enough energy to talk to her or play with her. Dh usually seems to be able to get ds to sleep better than me, he seems to act out more for me.
And also, these temper tantrums are really bad, and a lot of times in front of other people, and I don't like for him to act like this in public, because I like to speak with him in private, he is getting to the age where I want to treat him fairly, meaning, not scolding, speaking to, etc in front of others.
And poor dd is just not getting enough of me. A friend today said he is purposely monopolizing my time. I'm beginning to think she's right.