Top o' the year to you, May (04) Mamas! - Page 18 - Mothering Forums
Forum Jump: 
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#511 of 532 Old 01-30-2008, 07:54 PM
 
mcsarahb's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: this old house
Posts: 1,620
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Hi all-

Danile - big decision! I can imagine how hard it would be for you to leave. It is never easy even when you're excited and totally gung-ho about it. Keep us updated!

Meesa - hope you get some rest and relaxation soon!

TC - I've been subconsciously mulling over your sitch with class and your blog post today brought it up in my mind again. I am just thinking out loud so don't take offense at anything - obviously I'm not there and our kids are totally different so take what you want and leave the rest!

So, why do you feel the need to keep trying? It seems to me that the energy you expend to take him there, discuss the watching vs participating, etc. is not worth it. I think that he is just not ready for a class, and you can just wait another 6 mos or a year or whatever. M. is obviously a well-adjusted, healthy kid with just a little different social pattern than those other 3-year-olds in the class, and that is fine. I have seen him interact with people he knows and he is obviously just fine. I wouldn't worry about it, and just forget it for a while. Just be very matter-of-fact, no blaming or extended discussion, just "we decided we're not going back to gymnastics class; since you don't want to do the actual activities it's just not worth the money and my time." And I mean really, truly no blame or anything, just a very simple explanation. To me personally, 3 tries is enough and you've done your job of letting him lead the way - he seems not ready, and time to move on.

And of course he is interested in class and school and buses and stuff - it seems every single 3-year-old I know is, especially if they're unschooled. I think if you aren't ready to send him to preschool, don't do it. You can talk and read about it plenty without actually doing it. And when you are ready, he will probably be more ready for it, too. Good luck - I know it's not so simple when you're living it!

S.
mcsarahb is offline  
#512 of 532 Old 01-30-2008, 08:02 PM
 
mcsarahb's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: this old house
Posts: 1,620
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Els - I can identify with the struggle between wanting to do stuff for *me* and feeling guilty about it. So I can't really tell you what to do. But just know I hear you. I think you are ready for some *you* time in your life, since you have been raising two small children virtually alone for almost 4 years.

And in some ways, for me personally, I feel like the "me time" I crave is really "personal growth/life fulfillment" time that actually usually results in things that have positive impact on others outside my family...for example, I like to appreciate art and read things that inspire me and hang out with friends that do exciting things in the world and do volunteer work and research ways to work as a midwife and make money by helping underserved populations...all things that are fun and fulfilling in a selfish way but also affect others positively. And I have a suspicion that your "you time" would look kind of like that, too, with just slightly different key focus topics.

S.
mcsarahb is offline  
#513 of 532 Old 01-30-2008, 09:21 PM
 
Mama Faery's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: In the hizzy, in a tizzy. Hah.
Posts: 1,908
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Elsanne, I am weeping. I am here in every possible way, and have complete sympathy and empathy alongside you.

I have something profound to share with you (and everymama here, because it is that telling to me right now), and it made me twist inside with the realization of it;
My period was three weeks late. I should have gotten it earlier this month, MUCH earlier, and I knew I was NOT pregnant, but it was just...inexplicably late. :
So anyway, this morning, my period comes. And hurts. A LOT. Like, more than usual to the point where I was like "god, is this normal?!?!" But I deal, and take painkillers, and nap when Rowan napped (he napped! HOLY heck!) and then I came here and read your update, Elsanne, and while I sat here with tears in my eyes my uterus CRAMPED.
Like, "HELLO, sympathy!!"
I am just floored by how I can feel so close to people without having even "met" anyone in person. It's just...yeah. *sigh*

So I guess I just wanted to say I'm here. :

And now I am off to sit with some tea and watch a movie. DH is going out with friends tonight.

I love you all.

Mama Faery is offline  
#514 of 532 Old 01-31-2008, 01:23 AM
 
jstar's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: portland
Posts: 2,900
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
i don't think it sounds like selfish ME generation talk at all. i think it is the talk of someone who just gained an immense amount of freedom

isaac is obsessed with school buses and i don't even think they have school buses around here for the kids

the shrieker is rolling around on the floor. it is like living with a parrot. a really talkative parrot
jstar is offline  
#515 of 532 Old 01-31-2008, 02:09 AM
 
TurboClaudia's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: in a yellow house
Posts: 7,363
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
conclusion to gymnastics saga on bloggity.



~c
TurboClaudia is offline  
#516 of 532 Old 01-31-2008, 11:16 AM
 
Mama Faery's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: In the hizzy, in a tizzy. Hah.
Posts: 1,908
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Aww, Claudia, so sorry to hear it! But you know, you tried. And you honored M's choice, you know?
We're starting to think that Rowan is done with music class too. It's the last one in the cycle of classes that we have done since Rowan was 6 months old? Something like that...and the cut-off is 4 years old anyway, so this one will probably be the last.

And THEN...we got nothin'.

I would write more but I have to get our stuff together to go to the library for story hour. After a week of pretty much not leaving the house (HELLO, cabin fever! ) Rowan is definitely well enough to make it to the library. We'll see how the madness commences.

jstar, your post made me A really talkative parrot! That sometimes speaks in tongues and goes utterly DEAF. That's our parrot, anyway.

Have a great day, everyone.
Mama Faery is offline  
#517 of 532 Old 01-31-2008, 12:04 PM
 
meesa143's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Utah
Posts: 747
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
No time to really post, I'm working again *sigh* Hugs to you all
meesa143 is offline  
#518 of 532 Old 01-31-2008, 01:04 PM
 
jstar's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: portland
Posts: 2,900
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
mornin! i have to work today too

i just got a lecture from my mom on how i am letting isaac get away with too much

i've decided to leave isaac here for my next trip. i'm flying to oakland on wednesday and was supposed to take him. it is too soon though i think and he wants to stay home. at least he says he does...i wonder how he'll do when i actually pack. it will be WAY more relaxing for me though to just have ebin.

i'm glad the gymnastics thing is resolved -- no more stress about that!
jstar is offline  
#519 of 532 Old 01-31-2008, 01:25 PM
 
mamameg's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Wine Country, CA
Posts: 2,872
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Claudia, I'm sorry the gymnastics thing was so frustrating, but I'm sure he learned somethings from the experience (about gymnastics and about how mama has her limits, too) and I think you handled it all quite well.

I was thinking... do you have any dance studios in your area that do a mini day camp thing? We have a place here that does a preschool program for kids ages 2-4 called Wiggles & Giggles. It's a drop off thing, but only lasts 3 hours. They dance, read stories (but very dramatically), do puppet shoes, play in the garden. It's a really nice intro to any sort of away from mama activity. If you found something like that, wold Marek be into it? I dunno... maybe he's just not ready for anything, and that's okay too.

Elsanne, I'm sorry Viet is being so lame. He really doesn't understand the jewel you are, does he?

Gotta go get Mia dressed. We are working on this not being such a struggle and I put some new rules around when we get dressed (right after breakfast) so I guess I better stick to her, um my new rules.
mamameg is offline  
#520 of 532 Old 01-31-2008, 01:41 PM
 
meesa143's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Utah
Posts: 747
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
oops
meesa143 is offline  
#521 of 532 Old 01-31-2008, 01:45 PM
 
meesa143's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Utah
Posts: 747
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
It's not very common for animals to have a c/s, but I see it more where I am because we "specialize" in bulldogs. They can't/shouldn't have puppies on their own, they can't handle it.

Claudia~I'm sorry gymnastics didn't work out. I tried doing classes with S when she was younger and it didn't work at all. I tried again about 6 months later and she did fine. He probably just isn't ready quite yet.

I think we might finally make it to story time tomorrow too. We're definitely getting cabin fever at our house too.
meesa143 is offline  
#522 of 532 Old 01-31-2008, 02:55 PM
 
orangecanoe's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: where the wild things are
Posts: 2,328
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Claudia--bummer! Sounds like our experience with story hour and the once a month playgroup. C would actually scowl at the librarian. Finally last fall we went to E's age group story hour and she was much better. Can you do obstacle courses around the house? We do those a lot for OT/PT exercises and the girls have a blast.

mom of  dust.gif, ROTFLMAO.gif, and jog.gif
orangecanoe is offline  
#523 of 532 Old 01-31-2008, 03:35 PM
 
A&L+1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 667
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by jstar View Post
i'm flying to oakland on wednesday and was supposed to take him.
When and for how long? Maybe I can come up and see you.

Quote:
Originally Posted by TurboClaudia View Post
conclusion to gymnastics saga on bloggity.
TC, I really think that you have done the best thing you could by exploring this class with him and letting him choose. In the end, he is his own person who will navigate life and all its lessons in his own way.

Quote:
Originally Posted by mamameg View Post
Elsanne, I'm sorry Viet is being so lame. He really doesn't understand the jewel you are, does he? :
: But you know, it seems to me that it is not so much that he doesn't appreciate you as it is he is incapable of being the person who puts you ahead of himself. It is so his issue. He seems emotionally or spiritually stunted to me rather than just your run of the mill a$$.

I went to a Whine and Wine evening last night with some of the local birth network women. It was very nice and I still feel socially inept. I want these women to already be my longtime friends (like they are to each other) and it feels hard to break in sometimes especially since I am not (yet) doing birth work. It was reassuring in a sad way to hear them talking about how frustrated they are that the group has shifted from a friendly, passionate about birth type of group to a competitive, networking-for-personal-gain type of group. We are thinking of having spin off activities to build back up the sisterhood.

Hug for KK
A&L+1 is offline  
#524 of 532 Old 01-31-2008, 05:34 PM
 
jstar's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: portland
Posts: 2,900
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
i'm flying down wednesday night and coming back monday for my friend's baby shower (the one who had such a hard time getting a pregnancy that would stick). i am so excited for her! so i'll be there a while--maybe we could coordinate something (fun!). her shower is saturday. my mom might be coming up on the weekend and staying in a hotel. she was going to take isaac so now she isn't sure if she'll come. but she (we) have friends in the city and i talked to her this morning about possibly spending sunday in the city. monday i leave in the morning. i think thurs and friday are totally up to whatever we want to do. cherie lives in el sobrante (north of richmond on the 80)

i've been going nuts sewing baby stuff i feel like this might be her only babe
jstar is offline  
#525 of 532 Old 01-31-2008, 06:50 PM
 
elsanne's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Sunny San Miguel de Allende, Mexico
Posts: 2,855
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Lisa, you have hit the nail on the head wrt Sr. Viet. He really is stunted....especially when one sees his family of origin. Whackooooos!!!

I'm doing much better today. Viet and I had another talk, we really have a hard time understanding each other. *sigh* But for now, all is well, I'm feeling mo bettah every day, and I also think Sarah you are right--I am a woman who has chosen more freedom, and am eager to exercise it. Eager to prove to myself that it was the right decision, because 'look what I'm doing now'...

Renae, WHOA DUDE, that's some serious empathetic uteruses. Truly a twilight zone-theme-song moment. Wow.

I just want to tell you angels again how deeply thankful I continue to be, as bills come due and FINALLY ahole boss is depositing my one meager paycheck of the month, and thank Lakshmi (think she's abundance?) for youguys. You really saved my rear this month. Really, truly, and I will never ever forget it--and pay it forward when my time comes.
elsanne is offline  
#526 of 532 Old 01-31-2008, 08:18 PM
 
jstar's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: portland
Posts: 2,900
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
that's good you had a talk with viet.


since we are having a down-on-our-partners kinda week and i typically only share my frustrations with my partner i would like to share some positivity and say he's doing well with his own addictions at the moment (ie. alcohol). he hasn't had a single beer all week and has been making lots and lots of tea. me ---> whoa! this is not a quitting drinking thing but i am nevertheless super happy about this effort!

can you tell i am meant to be working today? posty posty pants.

the office search is sucky btw. i looked at one this morning at the end of my street (convenient!) but so fah-reakin expensive.
jstar is offline  
#527 of 532 Old 02-01-2008, 12:22 AM
 
mamameg's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Wine Country, CA
Posts: 2,872
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I feel so stupidly down right now. I just got a call from a friend here in town telling me she was "meeting the girls over at The Lodge for a drink, are you coming?" Me:"the girls?" Her:"Oh <awkward pause> you didn't get that email?" No, I didn't get that email.

The thing is, I am never able to go out during the week, so I'm sure that's why I didn't get invited, but it still stings. Mostly because it's a huge reminder of why I feel so socially isolated and starved for adult interaction, which leads to me feeling really burnt out on these kids all the time. See, everyone here does girls' night out during the week, and due to John's work sched, I can never make it. They do it at least once, sometimes twice a month, and I have been once in the past year, I think. All of their Hs either work from home or get home around 5:30, so going out for them is no big deal, but it's the worst time for me. And then when it comes to getting together on the weekend (the only time I can do it) everyone is always having family time or date nights or whatever.

I guess I've just had a really lonely day and this was the icing on the cake. (Although, the truly sweetest part might have been when Sultan told me, no, he does not in fact care anything about my feelings.
mamameg is offline  
#528 of 532 Old 02-01-2008, 12:49 AM
 
elsanne's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Sunny San Miguel de Allende, Mexico
Posts: 2,855
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Oh Fugg, Meg. Carpy day indeed. I can so commisserate with feeling left out like that, it really doesn't feel good. *I* would have sent you the email about the girls' night out, if that makes you feel any better. And Sultan is just a teenage a$$. Your big lesson of the day (ouch): Don't take any of it personally.
elsanne is offline  
#529 of 532 Old 02-01-2008, 01:18 AM
 
Mama Faery's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: In the hizzy, in a tizzy. Hah.
Posts: 1,908
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Meg, Good LORD, I dunno what I will do when Rowan reaches the TEEN YEARS. : I'm sorry you're having a hard time with him, hon.

Lisa, sounds like your birth network mamas have a good idea with more sisterhood-bonding sorts of things.
SO empathize with the "just wanting to stop being awkward and be friends already!" feeling.

Elsanne, always, I am so glad you're feeling mo betta.

I am feeling pretty carpy. Not only am I experiencing the menses from he!!, but I am also getting Rowan's cold. Chills, sore throat, stuffy head, whee!
NOT.

I'm off the hook for watching my friend M.'s kid tomorrow though, he's sick too. It's that kinda week around here.

I do, however, have to nanny tomorrow night, as long as I don't get much sicker. *sigh*

Since I'll probably hunker down on the couch with the kidlet tomorrow morning, I will post more then. :
I really REALLY love the hand-me-down laptop!

Good night, mamas.
Mama Faery is offline  
#530 of 532 Old 02-01-2008, 11:47 AM
 
mcsarahb's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: this old house
Posts: 1,620
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Oh Meg, that bites. I totally understand how you feel. I want to have drinks with you on weekends, d@mmit!

Renae - feel better!

Happy Friday, everybuggy. I'm off to the hospital.

S.
mcsarahb is offline  
#531 of 532 Old 02-01-2008, 01:30 PM
 
meesa143's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Utah
Posts: 747
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Meg~ I'm sorry! I hate those days. I'll have a glass of champagne with you!



jstar~that's good to hear! That has to be hard.

We're actually well enough to go to story time today! S is so excited.
meesa143 is offline  
#532 of 532 Old 02-01-2008, 01:37 PM
 
Jacqueline's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Colorado!
Posts: 511
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
It's February already!!!

Here's our new thread.....

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...7#post10440947
Jacqueline is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off