Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: where the wild things are
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Meesa, came to your wedding and cried? *sigh* How effing sweet. Are you with the right guy? (jk! jk! jk! I don't know you so I can't be too obnoxious yet)
|I feel a little guilty for allowing the PBS binge this morning but it's not like it happens ALL the...time...wait.|
KK and Jacqu- this is silly and probably impossible (too lazy to find out how far away each of you lives from Denver), but I'm gonna be in the Denver airport with W Jan 13th from 2:12 pm to 5:12 pm, and then again Jan 17th from 12:34 pm to 1:15 pm. I have a very good friend who goes to school in Denver so she'll probably keep me company, but if either of you are gonna be in the hood on those dates, swing by!
|Stepson admits to lying about me to his mom... I am so hurt
This morning has been a huge lesson for me: Do Not Ask Question You Don't Want To Know the Answer To
DSS is 15 and lives with us. He has lived here for almost 4 years, due to his mom basically begging us to take him because his behavior was so out of control with her. He is developmentally delayed and has lots of special needs and he needs constant supervisions (can not be left at home alone, etc). Because I am a SAHM and my DH works a lot and has a long commute, I do the majority of his caretaking. I provide all meals, help with homework, ask him to do his chores, etc.
This morning I noticed DSS had a new folder. Okay, no big deal. I asked him where he got it. He said his mom bought it for him. I asked him if he had told her he needed it, because he already had a folder that he does not use (he is in special ed and has no need for a folder - they don't send homework home that way). He told me, "I told her I needed one. Because I wanted one." Then I asked the question I wish I had never asked. "Did you tell her you need one but that I won't buy one for you?" "Yes." "Why did you do that? That's not true." "I dunno... I do that all the time so I can get what I want." "You tell her lies about me often?" "Yes."
I am so hurt. Crushed. But it all makes perfect sense now. His mom and I have never been buddy buddy, but we have always made an effort to be civil. But in the past year or so, she has become increasingly icy towards me I didn't really understand why. I know DSS gets upset because we hold him accountable for his actions here (mom doesn't) and we expect him to help out around the house (mom doesn't). Of course, I would expect him to talk to him mom about this, but I would expect his mom to talk to him as a parent and let him know we are doing these things to help him become a responsible adult, not turn icy towards me like she has been. But now it all makes sense. Goddess only knows what he has said about me to her. And she's clearly believing whatever he says, despite the fact that we have a HUGE issue with DSS lying and she knows it.
I don't what to do, or if there is anything to do. I don't even want to mention it to DH because he will most likely want to address it with her, but they have such a bad relationship, I think it will only cause more problems. I guess I jsut wanted to vent about it here to people who might sort of understand.
I just feel so hurt. I have taken over a huge amount of responsibility for this child and this is the thanks I get. Lies told about me and she just accepts them as truth and treats me coldly when she sees me. I feel so taken advantage of. She often just assumes I will be here to care for him if she is running late to pick him up on her visitation days. I am a SAHM and for the most part, I am around, but I hate the assumption that I have no where else to be, especially now that I know there are lies being told about me and she's apparently believing them, but still having no problem expecting me to pick up her slack.
Thanks for listening. If you disagree with me or have a dissenting opinion, that's fine, but I really came here for support, so please be kind.
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