Top o' the year to you, May (04) Mamas! - Page 5 - Mothering Forums

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#121 of 532 Old 01-07-2008, 11:56 PM
 
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oh man, danile, that stinks! puke bugs are not allowed to interfere with you getting your mama groove on! Reminds me of being up to my ears in it when C had roto 3x when E was teeny tiny. Anyone who can tend to puke solo gets a major award in my book!

kk--yay for cuttings! I see people offer them up now and again on our freecycle, but I haven't asked for any as I wouldn't know what to do with them. I wish I knew more! Our yard is sorely lacking.

nuggets!! where are you? I've been enjoying peeking at your sketches that pop up on your blog in my feed reader now and again.

hehehe....watching tv and the commercial just came on w/ the "I'm into nuggets now....I'm into nuggests now..." song--- mcd's, but hey, it could be our own they were rapping about.



okay...I'm babbling and should be sleeping! crazy busy day tomorrow.

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#122 of 532 Old 01-08-2008, 12:21 AM
 
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That nuggets. She needs to poke her head in here more often.

Danile, I groaned aloud for you, that is truly awful. I really hope the sickies go away and I swear, puke and diarrhea are really some of the worst in small children. Or big ones, if they don't make it to the toilet. It does not seem fair to have those days at all, let alone on TJ's birthday!!!! Oh honey.
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#123 of 532 Old 01-08-2008, 01:57 AM
 
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Sarah, it's gonna be ok. You can do it. . I don't know about you, but things always seem impossible to me after an exhausting day. Then the next morning, everything seems possible. (The truth probably being somewhere inbetween). This is a very hard thing you're doing, but you're gonna get through it, and in the end you'll get to catch babies for a living! I'm hoping this quarter the babies just pop out like crazy during your hospital shifts, so you can make up your birth-assistance numbers without a ton of hours. More s

Danile, your dh should give you major points for even attempting to get out of the house with 3 (2 of whom are sick) what, less than 2 weeks after you gave birth? You are an amazing mama. I suppose living in the country you can't just order pizza and call it good. Perhaps you can reschedule his b-day celebration?

Els- cool about the great class, and even cooler about V takin on the girls so you could just be YOU for a bit with some other adults, and get a break from being the mamamamamamamamamama.

Megan- I am really glad things are going well with dh right now. That does my heart good to hear.

Jstar- yup. L.A. Didya get the kitty to the vet OK?

L starts preschool again tomorrow.
Time to wash the dishes. Fun, fun.
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#124 of 532 Old 01-08-2008, 10:01 AM
 
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Meesa, came to your wedding and cried? *sigh* How effing sweet. Are you with the right guy? (jk! jk! jk! I don't know you so I can't be too obnoxious yet)
He was crying while telling DH he is a lucky man.

I'm sorry about the sick kids. Maybe it was a 24 hour thing and he'll be better today. Hopefully you all got some sleep!
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#125 of 532 Old 01-08-2008, 11:11 AM
 
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Awww, Danile! That totally sux! I hope whatever it is passes quickly. Hope you and TJ stay healthy through it all. Yesterday was my dh's birthday, too!

Heather, thinking of you on yoru busy busy day!

Need to get moving. Today's my parent helper day at katie's school, so I gotta run! Just wanted to give Danile a big

Hope skool is not too daunting for you today, Sarah.
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#126 of 532 Old 01-08-2008, 01:01 PM
 
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Either I get overwhelmed when I DON'T come here everyday to read, OR I pretty much read (and ADORE) EVERYTHING everyone posts, then don't want to make the Longest Post in the Universe to reply to it all! I can't win, so I'll just deal! *grin*
I you all so much! You all are sunshine I don't even know how I did without when I was absent!

So um...today I am ridiculously hungover. : The straightedge vegan nuns (or maybe just Davey Havok) are frowning upon me I'm sure. My best friend L. took me out for my birthday last night, and we went to a nice noodle house for dinner, and then to karaoke at our friendly neighborhood gay bar...where she proceeded to pay for my drinks.
The night and subsequent morning went a little something like this:
:Puke : :

L. considers my birthday outing a success! I think I am old enough to KNOW BETTER! :

But I am recovering and having lots of cuddling on the couch with Rowan so that's really nice.
I feel a little guilty for allowing the PBS binge this morning but it's not like it happens ALL the...time...wait.


Ahem. Anyhow, so I don't have much to say right now but I wanted to say hi because really, starting the morning by reading up on my favorite MMF really does make the day that much better.

And WELCOME, Meesa! I'm not a lush, I swear to god.

Have a wonderful day, everyone! Dude, it's supposed to be like 60 degrees here in New England. I am totally weirded out. Heh. Even as bad as I feel, I think we must make a sojourn outdoors sometime today.
Rowan's music class starts up again tonight, and DH is about as excited about it as he is! It's the last one in the cycle of classes in this series (Music Together) and I am thinking back on the very FIRST one, where Rowan was like 6 months old when we first started going. I need the wistful smilie now!
I was gonna try out a yoga class this evening when they went to class but, um, I may wait till Saturday! :

Take care, lovely mamas!
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#127 of 532 Old 01-08-2008, 05:08 PM
 
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So cute about the Music Together.

Love the smilie parade, it truly tells the whole story. Glad you had "fun" on your birthday. I am getting so old, I think. It doesn't sound like that much fun anymore (except the first part, minus 1 or 2 of the drinking smilies)....that part, yeaaaah! I'd be rockin out and dancin witcha.
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#128 of 532 Old 01-08-2008, 06:08 PM
 
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Renae, I'm glad you had fun! Big for the aftereffects. Hooray for PBS!

My younger sister had her first baby last night I'm such a whirlwind of emotion on her behalf. She pushed for four hours before consenting to forceps. She cried when she told me, and I just wanted to hug her and tell her what an amazing job she did. Baby Boy is nursing well It's a good thing I'm not having any more because even living vicariously through her her is making me an emotional wreck!!
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#129 of 532 Old 01-08-2008, 06:34 PM
 
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Yay for bday celebrations for old ones and new young ones!

I am . E stuck a sticker up her nose apparently and on hold w/ the peds office. A tiny sticker she got at her PT appt. No more of those! grrr...

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#130 of 532 Old 01-08-2008, 07:42 PM
 
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Aw, heath. A sticker! One time my brothers were roughhousing and one bro stuck a tiny piece of orange peel up the other's nose, and we had to go to the emergency room to get it out. It's a funny memory I have, but it wasn't funny at the hospital!
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#131 of 532 Old 01-08-2008, 07:56 PM
 
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Heath, if it's still stuck, try this...

Hold closed the empty nostril with your finger. Put your mouth over E's mouth and blow hard. Item should pop out the clogged nostril. This is the maneuver they try in the ER before going and digging it out with long forceps.
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#132 of 532 Old 01-08-2008, 08:26 PM
 
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We used that same method to get a bead out of Saige's nose a few months ago.
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#133 of 532 Old 01-08-2008, 08:59 PM
 
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TJ is vomiting and all three boys have diahrrea now. : What a happy birthday for him. At least I don't have it. And I don't have a sticker up my nose.

So sorry Heath! Hope that it gets out soon. What goes in must come out right? I remember my brother wadding paper up his nose when he was about 2. He tried to hack a lugie at my mom while she was changing his diaper and it came out of his nose covered in mucous and landed right back on his face. Angry two year old boys just don't understand gravity I suppose.


Thanks for all the support mamas... yesterday was just a no good very bad day. I loved your comfort and support.

Welcome Meesa! I too and a secret snoopy blog peeker... and your family IS adorable. I love the vegetarian learning experience too. How cute!

I feel bad whining about my own problems... I just heard that a girl in my DDC that I LOVED talking to.. and was my swap recipient lost her baby in labor.
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#134 of 532 Old 01-08-2008, 09:15 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm in the midst of another round of job apps. Don't really want to go into it (here or now), but just send me good vibes.

Danile, dude, we had that virus, and it SUCKS. I think the timing is particularly cruel in your case.

Ug on stickers, beads, paper, etc....:

Woo on babies, long lost MMs, birthdays, etc.

The cuttings are for houseplants (outside is still fairly frozen). I think I'm going to spend my Xmas gift card on orchid pots... :

With that... we're going to the neighbors' for dinner here in a minute, and then I'm going bowling with my buddies afterward. My hair, for lack of a better word, is totally schifo (anone speak Italian?). Oh well. Time for a hat, I guess... or a :.
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#135 of 532 Old 01-08-2008, 09:56 PM
 
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this feels like my version of a no good very bad day for reasons I'm too bummed to get into. Feeding issues/reflux suck/s.

danile---hugest hugs! next week will be better!


I couldn't even see the pesky thing it was jammed so far up so DH is at the ER now with her. Bet she won't do that again, poor girl. Was sad to see her go off all chipper w/o realizing what was going to happen. She kept telling me she just wanted to go see Dr. S, our chiro.

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#136 of 532 Old 01-08-2008, 10:02 PM
 
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Heather and Danile. No good very bad days go away.
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#137 of 532 Old 01-08-2008, 10:16 PM
 
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heath and danile: bad days go away...

heath: did you see the LC today with HJ? what was her thinking?
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#138 of 532 Old 01-09-2008, 12:06 AM
 
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LC visit went well; she was very nice and really seemed to get the nature of his issues. She gave me a couple ideas for positioning things that seem to help a bit with him fatiguing with feeds. But the crux of it is that his intake needs to be better and we may be able to get by w/ just half of the difference w/ supplementing pumped milk. le sigh. Talking it through, realistically he doesn't nurse well or consistently enough or for comfort enough to make the sns/lactaid work. GI closed tomorrow, but will call to talk to the NP thurs or friday about the LC visit. So things are very much the same as it all went w/ E, but better and worse at the same time. He *is* still nursing well enough, but supplementing was quite an ordeal this evening. rock me hard place.

exhausting day to say the least.

er visit was a joke. dh said the doc looked up her nose with the thingy you look in ears with, but no camera scope or anything because she wasn't in pain. wtf? so he just guessed that she swallowed it and sent her home. I'll let you know in 24 hrs if that was the case.

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#139 of 532 Old 01-09-2008, 12:06 AM
 
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Aww, I just wanted to offer s and love to Heather and Danile. Sorry your days hadn't gone so well.
I have a headache again. But I did redeem my lazy-mama status by taking Rowan to a nearby park this afternoon after rest time and he ran into a neighbor girl he plays with, who goes to the school next to the park, and they played happily for a good hour.
And we walked, and no one needed a jacket! Weird New England weather!

Anyway, I am going to bed soon so I just wanted to say good night. Hope everyone has a good day tomorrow! I have a long day (LLL thing and then work) so I may not be online much, unlike today when my butt was parked on the couch.

Good night mamas!

ETA: I sucked it up and started a xanga account, just so I could read those darn protected blogs! :LOL mamafaery's the name, it's probably gonna stay empty, I mean I don't even update my LIveJournal, man! Hahaha. So anyway, yeah. Who had xanga again??
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#140 of 532 Old 01-09-2008, 04:21 AM
 
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Danile, I am sorry about your MDC friend, and sorry that you're having to deal with so much sickness. I really hope you don't get it!

Heatherfeather- Three has got to be so much work, and just the stress of worrying about weight and tracking intake is so much work, and then to have to take time out to pump on top of it all. Well, that's just no fair. I have just (pretty much) come out of the woods myself in terms of all that weight/intake worry, so all I can do is hold up a candle and say, you won't have to do this forever! There is an end in sight! Your babies will get older and eat on their own, and you can do this (because you have to- sigh).

Renae- you totally crack me up. I love ya, mama! Welcome back.
Quote:
I feel a little guilty for allowing the PBS binge this morning but it's not like it happens ALL the...time...wait.
(my attempt at quoting)

Juice- a vicarious congratulations to you

KK- best of fortune with the job apps. May it all turn out as it's supposed to.

KK and Jacqu- this is silly and probably impossible (too lazy to find out how far away each of you lives from Denver), but I'm gonna be in the Denver airport with W Jan 13th from 2:12 pm to 5:12 pm, and then again Jan 17th from 12:34 pm to 1:15 pm. I have a very good friend who goes to school in Denver so she'll probably keep me company, but if either of you are gonna be in the hood on those dates, swing by!

Sherri- do you do a co-op preschool? How do you like the parent days? I kinda wish L's school had parent days, mostly cause I can't get enough of hangin out in classrooms.

Thinkin of Sarah today, and wishing you a good quarter.
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#141 of 532 Old 01-09-2008, 12:41 PM - Thread Starter
 
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KK and Jacqu- this is silly and probably impossible (too lazy to find out how far away each of you lives from Denver), but I'm gonna be in the Denver airport with W Jan 13th from 2:12 pm to 5:12 pm, and then again Jan 17th from 12:34 pm to 1:15 pm. I have a very good friend who goes to school in Denver so she'll probably keep me company, but if either of you are gonna be in the hood on those dates, swing by!
I might be able to swing the 13th (much easier than a weekday, longer block of time). I will probably have to sweeten the deal for dh by bringing at least 1 kid with me (I'm thinking T/L, or possibly just Z or T/Z). I'll get back to you.

I think Nuggets does a coop preschool (we do, too). The parent days are awesome (it's like "Queen for a Day"). The way our schedule works, we only coop ~1x/2 mo., so it definitely doesn't feel like a burden (I'd be willing to coop 1x/mo.).

Heath, I can't believe you're having to do through the reflux/feeding/pumping/UG again... I guess the only silver lining I see is for HJ (ie, lucky that he has a mom who's in tune and knows what she's doing). Major kudos to you for not listening to that nurse and pursuing LC help--you're really awesome, IMO.
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#142 of 532 Old 01-09-2008, 01:20 PM
 
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Ugh. Rough morning here. I learned something very hurtful. I'll just copy and paste what I posted in Blended Families forum.

Quote:
Stepson admits to lying about me to his mom... I am so hurt

This morning has been a huge lesson for me: Do Not Ask Question You Don't Want To Know the Answer To

DSS is 15 and lives with us. He has lived here for almost 4 years, due to his mom basically begging us to take him because his behavior was so out of control with her. He is developmentally delayed and has lots of special needs and he needs constant supervisions (can not be left at home alone, etc). Because I am a SAHM and my DH works a lot and has a long commute, I do the majority of his caretaking. I provide all meals, help with homework, ask him to do his chores, etc.

This morning I noticed DSS had a new folder. Okay, no big deal. I asked him where he got it. He said his mom bought it for him. I asked him if he had told her he needed it, because he already had a folder that he does not use (he is in special ed and has no need for a folder - they don't send homework home that way). He told me, "I told her I needed one. Because I wanted one." Then I asked the question I wish I had never asked. "Did you tell her you need one but that I won't buy one for you?" "Yes." "Why did you do that? That's not true." "I dunno... I do that all the time so I can get what I want." "You tell her lies about me often?" "Yes."

I am so hurt. Crushed. But it all makes perfect sense now. His mom and I have never been buddy buddy, but we have always made an effort to be civil. But in the past year or so, she has become increasingly icy towards me I didn't really understand why. I know DSS gets upset because we hold him accountable for his actions here (mom doesn't) and we expect him to help out around the house (mom doesn't). Of course, I would expect him to talk to him mom about this, but I would expect his mom to talk to him as a parent and let him know we are doing these things to help him become a responsible adult, not turn icy towards me like she has been. But now it all makes sense. Goddess only knows what he has said about me to her. And she's clearly believing whatever he says, despite the fact that we have a HUGE issue with DSS lying and she knows it.

I don't what to do, or if there is anything to do. I don't even want to mention it to DH because he will most likely want to address it with her, but they have such a bad relationship, I think it will only cause more problems. I guess I jsut wanted to vent about it here to people who might sort of understand.

I just feel so hurt. I have taken over a huge amount of responsibility for this child and this is the thanks I get. Lies told about me and she just accepts them as truth and treats me coldly when she sees me. I feel so taken advantage of. She often just assumes I will be here to care for him if she is running late to pick him up on her visitation days. I am a SAHM and for the most part, I am around, but I hate the assumption that I have no where else to be, especially now that I know there are lies being told about me and she's apparently believing them, but still having no problem expecting me to pick up her slack.

Thanks for listening. If you disagree with me or have a dissenting opinion, that's fine, but I really came here for support, so please be kind.
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#143 of 532 Old 01-09-2008, 02:16 PM
 
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Oh Meg. I can't even imagine.

If I had any sort of good advice I'd give it. Let me stew a little bit and maybe I can come up with an idea. That is, if you want one. If you just want my support and sympathy- you know you already have it.
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#144 of 532 Old 01-09-2008, 02:29 PM
 
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megan: major kudos to you for parenting him the way you should and huge hugs for feeling burned by his sheer meanness and manipulative actions. he may be 15, but he is still acting like a smaller child and i know that would be hard for me to stomach. i'm so sad for you. i can't remember if you drink coffee, but i wish icoffeepod was real and could whip you up some frothy $tarbuck$ concoction to make you feel all warm and cozy and then play you some mournful music followed by something hopeful and uplifting.
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#145 of 532 Old 01-09-2008, 02:49 PM
 
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aw meg that sucks how frustrating. i think i would leave your dh out of it and address it with her directly. call her or if possible have a talk with her out of dss' earshot when she comes to pick him up. just say 'so i had a talk with __ the other day that really concerned me. <insert convo> i'm worried that he may be telling you various different things that aren't true. i would really appreciate it if you have any concerns about what he is asking for that you just call and ask me.

that way you don't sound overly accusatory about his behavior (because she will be defensive about that). and you open an avenue for communication between you two. also by making your concern about the 'things' he is asking for (ie. for her to buy him) you don't make it sound like you think he's lying about things that you 'do'. but you'll raise her consciousness that he is capable of manipulating his situation.


danile - i hope everyone is on the mend at your house. what a bummer of a birthday for tj! and that is so sad for your mdc friend.

beth - you're a travelling woman

heath - (heath and beth sound good together). so sorry you're on the same rollercoaster with HJ and feeding stress. i hope he can groove on bottle and boob together.

renae - your weather sounds freaky!

sarah - more baby-catching stars aligning wishes from me :

juice - congrats on the new nephew



we picked jasmine up at the vet yesterday and she has the most gnarly HOLE in her side. bigger than a quarter and it is just flesh. where is the puke smiley. i was under the impression that he would be stitching it closed. but no. she's up in our room and actually using the litterbox and purring a lot. she's happy to be inside. poor thing! i have no idea how long it is going to take to heal up. he didnt' really tell me anything.

i have started looking on craigslist for an office. i feel displaced and am working more than i expected. and i don't have a functional office here. there's a breakfast nook off the kitchen but no door. and no plugs or heat in the basement so that isn't an option. my boss told me she had looked at an old mill they just converted into offices/loft workspaces. so i went by there and OMG I WANT ONE. of course all the smallest ones i could afford are leased already. and i do not need to pay 800/mo. but boy are they cool! giant windows, concrete floors. i'm going to call and see if i can get on some waiting list or something. and keep looking. i think they're turning every warehouse into lofts at this point. le sigh

ta ta mamas
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#146 of 532 Old 01-09-2008, 03:37 PM
 
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Geez, meg, you have every right to be upset! I've so often admired you for your tenacity and commitment to your relationship with J. That in and of itself is very admirable to me, without you having to deal with all this excess responsibilities on top of it all. You are so strong, most parters would be like, "he's not my problem, you deal with it" or something of the sort. Anyway, back to the matter at hand, I think Jstar gave you some good advice. I think that would be a great place to start. If you need to involve your dh at some point, you can, but I think it would be most helpful to start working it out without him. It's especially irritating that she doesn't want the responsibility of helping him through his special needs, and she depends on you to do that for her, yet she's willing to just listen and believe everything he says? Obviously she knows how challenging it is to parent him, or else she wouldn't beg you to take him. I'm just so infuriated for you, mama. I don't know anything helpful to say, other than you have my utmost support and love.

Danile, how's everyone feeling today? I hope today dawned a little brighter for the Ducettes.

A little mini-smilie parade for Juice's new nephew. I reserve the best smilie parades for our own may mamas, but this is most certainly smilie-parade-worthy!

:
:::
::
:::
:
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#147 of 532 Old 01-09-2008, 03:57 PM
 
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Meg, that is heartbreaking. I agree that you are amazing and strong. It must hurt to have this happen after you've taken such awesome responsibility for this child. I am sorry to hear your DH's relationship with his ex is not good enough for him to be involved in this - IMO it's his problem just as much as yours (i.e., it's his child and you are taking on more than your standard responsibility for him). I do agree that you should talk to his mom, however, and hope that she gets at least a glimmer of the truth. Hugs, mama.

Jstar, I know the office thing is a PITA. When DH was looking he lucked into a basement in NW for $200, but it wasn't exactly a beauty. Great location, though. Do you need something that clients will visit, or just for you and a desk?

Danile, hope the sickies are gone.

Juice - new nephew! That is so fun. I know the feeling - I have a good friend in CA due any day planning an HBAC - I'm so on pins and needles for her! Just waiting for the good news.

Heather - hugs, mama, just hugs. You have been through so much. I haven't been there myself but feel so much for you!

School yesterday was so-so. Not too bad, but not great. I'm just getting tired of school in general after 25+ years, ya know??

We have a bite on our nanny share offer - someone finally responded to the craigslist ad we've been posting and reposting for months! Hopefully they will work out. It's been hard footing the entire bill ourselves for so long.

OK, must go work. Lots to do and I promised myself I would not procrastinate this quarter!!

S.
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#148 of 532 Old 01-09-2008, 04:04 PM
 
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Meg, first off, a big hug. You deserve so much credit for raising her son, loving him, educating him, and all the other things you do to make his youth a good one.

Second: I think this is being taken a little too personally. It has, really, nothing to do with you. There is truth, and your dss knows it, and he's being manipulative. Nothing new there! His mom has guilt which is probably bottomless, and she feeds off of providing for him what she is led to believe you are not, which makes her feel better. Mother and Son bond over perceived neglect by you, although both are well aware of your work and sacrifice. Keep on keepin' on, mama, hold your candle of truth and maybe, in a sweet moment, bring it up with your dss. Your hurt is valid, and maybe he can see your perspective if you bring it up at a good time, in a good way where both parties can be respectful.

Something like this:
You: "dss, I have to admit, that although I'm really happy you told me the truth when I asked you about the folder, I felt hurt that you tell your mom things about me that are not true. I feel hurt because I work so very hard to be a good mom to this family, and while I may not be perfect I do try hard. I am also happy that you have a relationship with your mom that works for you, but I feel disrespected by you and that hurts."

Dss: "Oh, Meg, I am so sorry, you absolutely are the most amazing woman my dad could have ever married and every day I give thanks for you...."
(okay, it's my fantasy, okay?)


Just an idea sweetie. Much love to you.
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#149 of 532 Old 01-09-2008, 05:19 PM
 
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Els said it so much more eloquently than I ever could. I agree with all the girls that have suggested having a calm talk about things when the time is appropriate. *HUGS to you*

Things are a little brighter today. Less puking. TJ went back to work because we can't afford the time off. Jasmine is VERY fussy today. I think we'll be living in the Mei Tai today. That's the only thing that seems to soothe her when she gets like this. I've done amazing things with this mei tai. I should take pictures of "oh all the places I've been"
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#150 of 532 Old 01-09-2008, 05:46 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Holy moly, Meg. I would be both : and crumpled into a small ball at the same time. I think his behavior probably has a lot to do with his age, his development, and his crappy mom. She *does* need to know about his behavior, but man, I have no idea how you'd communicate it effectively. Major s for you.

Just here uh... : saying howdy to my MMs while I doctor my resume...
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