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-   -   September '04 mamas seein' their shadows in Feb - 6 more weeks of winter! (http://www.mothering.com/forum/65-childhood-years/840798-september-04-mamas-seein-their-shadows-feb-6-more-weeks-winter.html)

JenInMpls 02-02-2008 09:03 PM



rabbit rabbit!

I'm parked in the chair with a heat pad because I threw out my back lifting my 30-lb son. Which normally wouldn't have happened, but I had strained my back muscles skating too much, and they were weak.

So I'm : in this chair, while my family is going out for pizza!

Happy February anyway. xo jen

MommyofPunkiePie 02-02-2008 09:12 PM

Oh Jen, I feel your pain! I threw out my back on Thursday night when I was getting out the car -- after I came home from the chiropractor! How's that for irony? I just plugged in the heating pad and I'm going to lay down on it in a few minutes. At least I can stand up straight now.

chrissy 02-03-2008 11:25 AM

jen!

becca- good luck on the lsat! let us know how it goes. dh and i both actually loved law school. it's the practicing law that's kind of... eh.

zen-ozz 02-03-2008 10:42 PM

Becca ~ I'm jealous! I think law is so interesting! But I am just so done with school. So done!

Jen ~ I pulled a muscle in my back closing the van door -- and it's an automatic door!!!

The trip home was horrible!!! Zeke was fine, but my little Eli shrieked the entire flight, except for about 30 minutes. I actually started crying at one point for not being able to comfort the poor child. He is easily my most difficult at this stage. Talk about demanding . . . and persistent too. What a combination.

K

Yo Becca 02-07-2008 12:37 PM

I'm in need of patient vibes. My brother (who is developmentally delayed and lives with my parents) is having a mental health crisis. He had basically a phsycotic breakdown when I was pregnant with Robin, after about 2 years of serious depression. He was hospitalized and overmedicated, then finally got back to more or less normal for him. But since thanksgiving he's been drifting toward depression again and is now once again having serious issues (delusions, paranoia, disorientation). My folks have been having a rough time, so I am now at their house to help out for a few days. Eli is with me, RObin is at MIL's house ( I miss her so). He wakes in the night and is confused and having delusions, so my folks aren't getting any sleep, and the plan is for me to help them have breaks in the day.

It's hard - his behavior is frustrating and makes no "sense," but he's not responsible for it. But I need all the patient vibes you can send today. And some healing vibes for him wouldn't hurt either.

MommyofPunkiePie 02-07-2008 05:01 PM

Big for you, Becca! Here's some patient : coming your way.

AugustineM 02-07-2008 07:27 PM

Oh Becca . Sounds so hard. I was recently helping out my sis too, as you probably remember, and oh man is it hard. I hope he gets better soon. Is he getting any kind of treatment or therapy?

My kid is back to napping! Thor has napped every day for the past week. Weird. Must be a growth spurt. He's now laying on the couch dozing off. It's a lot harder to get him to bed at night, but I can't justify keeping him from napping... it would be horrible!

Mama Bear 02-11-2008 11:58 PM

finally getting around to finding you all :

Becca!!! thinking of you

MommyofPunkiePie 02-12-2008 12:47 AM

Anyone else having sleep issues??? Elizabeth will not sleep her required 12 hours, and I am getting by on three-five hours a night for the past three days. She's been waking after seven-eight hours, staying up for two or three and then sleeping for one more. ARGH! If she would only lay still it wouldn't be so bad, but she's got ants in her pants.

Plus I got my period early, it's super heavy, and I have cramps (I NEVER get cramps). I'm not a happy Mama right now.

I hope you are all surviving the winter!

JenInMpls 02-12-2008 12:04 PM

***Jen passes Sam a beer***

if you're straight-edge or otherwise dry, well, then,

***Jen passes Sam a kombucha***

T has been sleeping 8 hours for the past 2 nights, but he's gotten a nap in, too. He'll sleep 12 if he doesn't nap all day but boy howdy, is that a long day.

Was a run-around morning today (Jo taking a class that we have to drive her to in order to have the car, and then pre-school drop-off, and then after I pick him up I have a chiro appt... and then he will be wasted tired but we will still have to pick jo up and then pick up our farm order!!! :

Still, time will march on and I will have no control over it, which means that this day will be over in 12 hours or so, come what may!!

MommyofPunkiePie 02-12-2008 04:24 PM

Thanks for the beer, Jen! It tasted delicious!

JenInMpls 02-12-2008 10:04 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by MommyofPunkiePie View Post
Thanks for the beer, Jen! It tasted delicious!
It was a Surly, of course.


JenInMpls 02-15-2008 03:23 PM

Go away!

scratch! hit!

So I went away. Oh MY, does he not like that.

And what's with this whole sucking air thing lately? He slurps in air. I know the first place he heard it was in the book "Lentil" by Robert McCloskey in which a guy sits on top of a building and sucks on a lemon, and we made slurpy sucking noises, but he does it all the time now, worst of all he finds it the best way to get food into his mouth and I am TERRIFIED that he's going to suck food in and suck it straight into his trachea and we're going to have a choke on our hands. But HOW do you convince a kid to stop this behavior? We tell him over and over that it could be dangerous, but he has no concept of it.

What's worst is that we're getting all over each others' nerves today but we desperately needed this day of doing nothing - we've been running like crazy all week. Time to catch up on laundry and I figured that he could just play? He has legos, cars, dress-up, a couple of play buildings, a toy sink and a toy stove. Oh, and don't forget books up the wazoo, and puzzles and puppets and a Learning Tower serving as a play stand in the middle of the living room floor right now. Instead he finds it necessary to follow me around and give me orders and when I don't respond, he hits me. Or he does something that he knows he isn't supposed to do - like pick up the piece of mail I left on the table - and he then proceeds to rip it up, or better yet, dip it into his glass of milk?!!! And when I remove his hands, he digs in his nails as hard as he can. Seems that all he wants is 100% mama time but HE'S HAD IT ALL WEEK, ISN'T HE SICK OF ME YET?!!!

I want to say that I do not support spanking and would not hit my child nor do I think that anyone else should, but I must also say that I can see from whence the impulse arises, and that the release probably felt (momentarily) good for my mom. But, I am sure that it would work for T just as poorly as it worked for me. I won't be doing it. But some days I think it might be the only thing that would get my point across, because everything else seems to not even go in one ear, much less out the other side!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!

And yesterday I read a blog by a mom who parents 100% by the Golden Rule and of course is always kind and respectful to her child and he is always kind and respectful to her, and before I knew what I was saying, the words "Well, aren't you a f*ing saint!" slipped out of my mouth. *gasp*

Not that I have anything against respectful parenting - what a wonderful thing to aspire to! I totally want to treat my son the way I want to be treated! I am kind to him, and ask him to put his boots on so we can go somewhere (this after about 10 minutes of warning that we're going to go), and he doesn't put his boots on! So I go pick him up to put on his boots and he scratches and bites me? Mmmm! Golden Rule obviously doesn't work in reverse!! Go fly a kite Ms. Perfect Mom!

jaded by the pollyannas, that's me.



happy friday.

ps: did I mention that I am SO SICK OF WINTER, and that it just got above zero here in the last hour? (It's 12:30 pm.) :

AugustineM 02-15-2008 08:21 PM

Jen, sorry, I only have to laugh because I could have written your post (even the part of it just getting above zero!). Thor was being so easy, but the past 3-4 days have been like you describe above. And I feel the same way about spanking -- think it's an awful thing -- but yes, I have had that urge several times. The one that gets me the most is when Thor pushes or hits Anna after being reminded not to about 30 times. ARGH. That's what really drives me batty. Ai ai ai.

Well, at least we have a babysitter coming over in a few minutes and Tony and I get to go cross country skiing with our new skis. There should be a skiing smilie.

So, babysitter, jen?? Or, beer? Or, just : for an early bedtime, and then .

JenInMpls 02-15-2008 08:35 PM

babysitter? eh, to be frank - and this is horrible - I don't want to go out with my wife. I want to go somewhere where no one is unhappy that the food isn't made / is made (and she's not hungry) / isn't what she wants, and being passive-aggressive about it, where there is no constant yelling for bored little boy play, where there is someone who really wants to *be* with the child who is with the child, and then I can go off to some place where... where gosh, I don't know, where I'm not a boring 30something housewife who can't manage to lose the weight she wants, where I can be cute and hip and young and exciting.

In other words, I want a nap so I can dream

Not feeling so sexy but definitely eyeing that beer,

xo jen

ps: no early bedtime, he took a much-needed nap (since he got up before 6).

Subhuti 02-15-2008 11:53 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by JenInMpls View Post
Go away!
Seems that all he wants is 100% mama time but HE'S HAD IT ALL WEEK, ISN'T HE SICK OF ME YET?!!!
Jen -- i have come to the conclusion that ALL kids want MOM all of the time. It is so bizarre. And have concluded, RESISTANCE is FUTILE!!

Just today in our house: week spent with Lulu. Whole day today with Lulu, included. DH comes home. Lulu runs screaming to me saying she needs time alone with mom. My Friday "break" (hiding in our guest room) is scuttled. I just keep thinking... didn't I just spend all of the last week with you, child????????

And I second you on the winter. We've all been sick and stuck indoors. Hence my little getaways to the unheated meditation hut have been seriously curtailed. so I'm going INSANE!

And today was a good day !

No advice, just commiseration.

Liz (livin' the Long Catskill Mountain Winter)


PS. Now the following is not advice. Just to be filed under "Dumb Luck" department. My latest tactic that inexplicably works when Lulu starts bargaining with me (her special talent) is the following. Say she's haggling over what food she'll eat or how many books she wants before bed ... I just say quietly "Lulu, I'm not negotiating with you." She seems to understand what i am saying, and just stops.

AugustineM 02-16-2008 01:23 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by JenInMpls View Post
... where gosh, I don't know, where I'm not a boring 30something housewife who can't manage to lose the weight she wants, where I can be cute and hip and young and exciting.
Hey, when you find that place, let me know, and you and I can ditch DP and go there together.

A nap is good. Very good.

Yo Becca 02-18-2008 12:41 AM

Hey there mamas! (she emerges from under her rock and waves)

I survived time with my folks and family, then came home to have to deal with them by phone. Then met them today for dinner (a 2 hour drive each way - delightful!), and they are supposed to be coming to visit in 2 weeks - which is totally NOT what my brother needs, so I had to offer to go visit them to head them off, which means we'll actually all have to go visit them. They are making me NUTS! My brother had 2 weeks of incredible anxiety, paranoia, delusions and psychotic behavior. I finally browbeat my mother into calling the doc and getting his meds changed, and the doc agreed (i am furious that a doctor would send home a patient in his state with a "see you in 2 weeks!" and no follow-up). So now he's somewhat less agitated and anxious, sleeping a bit (as opposed to sleeping 2 hours then stirring awake rearranging the attic all night), having less delusions and paranoia - but far from healthy. Time will tell if these meds will work or what changes he will need. My folks are very gunshy about him being overmedicated (that's what happened when this occured before), which I certainly appreciate - but it does him no favors to undertreat him either. it's hard b/c he's developmentally delayed, so he doesn't fit the mold of a "regular" mental health patient. Oy vey!

On the parenting tip - I am having the SAME THING! Robin is not listening (I've actually thought she was hard of hearing, it's such a change) and not cooperating. Getting her dressed makes me NUTS. I have had fantasies of popping her with the hair brush every day when i'm trying to brush her hair and she's acting like a maniac - resisting it, but oh so tempting. Clint think's I'm being a grump - but she cooperates with him more than she does with me. We talked about it today, and I think one goal is to set her up for success as much as possible, and to give her more responsibilities. Literally, we have to put most bites of food into her mouth at meals and dress her like a baby. But she's capable of being more independent, and being responsible will provide a new source of stimulation and hopefully improve behavior.

So, we're focusing on eating at the table as a family more often (Clint has gotten us into an AWFUl habit of eating in the kitchen, where we don't have a table - so robin is standing up on her stool at the counter, which is easy to get down and run around from, which means we're nagging her and rounding her back up, etc. It's ridiculous - at the table, she's got nowhere to go, less friction all around). She's going to be more responsible for dressing herself, and we're going to move her to a certain chair for hair brushing time, hopefully so she'll see it as a no-play zone.

She seems to be bouncing off the moon all the time - crazy wild child, fussing and whining more than ever before, acting out more than ever before. What is UP? Taking her anywhere has become something I dread b/c she's not listening to me or doing anything I ask (and I'm talking normal, simple requests, like "stay with me" and "please don't scream inside" (she's into screaming in places with a good echo) and "we hold hands in the parking lot"). ANd she's NEVER been one to fall to peices and have crying fits unless she's late for a nap - but now anything will set her off.

What happened to my easy-going girl??? who replaced her with this bratty maniac?

AugustineM 02-18-2008 03:25 AM

becca -- thor is often a crazy wild child lately too. Sometimes he starts speaking this weird baby/monkey babble and running around like a weirdo. He does it mostly when we're around other people too, so I'm like... great. Yes, this is my kid. The one running around, babbling, and whining. Who knows?? At least they're not the only ones, eh?

MommyofPunkiePie 02-18-2008 03:31 AM

Count me in for the crazy three year old phenomenon! Well, not me, but Elizabeth sure is pretty obnoxious most of the time (I swear, that's the nicest way to say it!)

If she wasn't so darned cute when she's sleeping....

Subhuti 02-20-2008 09:28 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by AugustineM View Post
\ Who knows?? At least they're not the only ones, eh?
Ashley and Becca -- they are SO not the only ones!

You know, it feels like such a relief to read this month's thread. Lulu is SUCH a MEGA challenge. Your kids sound exactly like mine.

sigh.


Liz

AugustineM 02-22-2008 02:10 AM

OK, I have to spill the beans to you all because I already told another thread. I got a very faint this morning.

I seriously was so sure I wasn't pg. We DTD on my ovulation day and used withdrawl... I mean, really. Jeez!! I was looking forward to a few months of TTC... I guess that just isn't happening.

I'm excited, but nervous about having 3 kids! Anna and Thor will be 2.5 and 4.2 assuming I am actually pregnant and don't miscarry. Will that be completely insane!!??

MommyofPunkiePie 02-22-2008 02:31 AM

Ashley! Woo hoo! :

JenInMpls 02-22-2008 10:10 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by AugustineM View Post
We DTD on my ovulation day and used withdrawl...
Ashley, did you fall asleep in sex ed the day that they told us that THIS METHOD OF BIRTH CONTROL DOESN'T WORK?!!!

Congratulations!! :

And two more for you: :: :


ps: who hit me with the DDDDC?!!

chrissy 02-22-2008 10:15 AM

congrats ashley!

AugustineM 02-22-2008 02:36 PM

Jen Yeah, duh, I know... I guess that I was just surprised that ONE time during my fertile time would do it. And we both knew that we were being lax, but didn't care too much, obviously!

Chrissy -- how is it having 3 with the spacing you do?

Oh and jen, your DDDDC...

chrissy 02-22-2008 03:17 PM

ashley, our spacing has been great so far. yours will be too!

Yo Becca 02-22-2008 07:11 PM

Ashley!! Congrats!! So awesome. I second all of Jen's smilies!

Chrissy - re: your siggy, have you seen this video? http://www.dipdive.com/

Gotta run go pack, but wish me strength and sanity. Heading back to my folk's house. The stress of 3-4 weeks with no sleep (b/c my brother is up all night) ended up putting my dad in the hospital with BP/diabetes problems. He's out after 2 days, but we're heading down to help.

Subhuti 02-22-2008 11:15 PM

Yah Ashley!!!!!!
my mom says that once you hit three kids it's easy peezy!

I remember those baby-making days fondly. We're sorta out of the biz now, but they were happy days. On both kids, we were similarily suprised that "one isolated act" in a given month would impregnate me. Gives you an idea of our sex life, especially since we had children.

Becca, my heart goes out to you. My older sister has paranoid schizophrenia, too. It is so, so hard on my family. My mom cares for her when she visits once a year (for a month), and it nearly kills her, physically and mentally. I mean, literally. My sister is very delusional and very emotionally paranoid/aggressive. Not nice. She won't take meds.

hope your dad feels better and just a big hug to you...


Liz

JenInMpls 02-22-2008 11:40 PM

Dear sept 04 sisters,

Despite the fact that, in our day as a DDC, we were the most prolific DDC there was (1000 posts in a month was not uncommon), we are getting smaller and smaller. I would suggest... if anyone has an opinion... maybe going to a seasonal / quarterly thread?

*shrug* was just a thought!

Ashley, thanks for the DDDDC! I initially "blamed" it on another friend in the queer TTC forum but she said "aw, that's so sweet! But it wasn't me!". Anyway, pretend you're this tree : and btw: a friend of mine has just moved to Anchorage... if we ever make it up there (as Jo desperately wants to), we'll rent a car and come see you for sure! (Or maybe figure out the Alaska Marine Highway System!?)


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