Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Pacific NW longing for the Midwest
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Ds is in first grade. He has a number of 1st grade girls that he plays with. One of the little girls, B, has more or less monopolized him, and ds follows her around a bit like a sheep. For example, B has decided that she'd rather spend recess in the library coloring (a choice they have), but ds doesn't really want to.
When I ask him why he doesn't go out to recess and run around, he answers, "Well, B wants to go to the library." Ds and B don't have that many mutual interests, really. I think she likes to spend time with him because he's easy to boss around! (I'm not blaming her, it's just how she is, and she's exhibiting perfectly age-appropriate behavior for a 1st grade girl.)
He'd really like a friend with more mutual interests, but is pretty clueless about how to go about making a new friend, especially with B monopolizing his time. He's mentioned he'd like a boy to play with, but he has no boys in the neighborhood (really, they're all girls), or church (again 5 girls and ds), and even his 1st grade class is 6 boys and 17 girls!
When I ask about specific boys in class, he'll either say that he doesn't know what they do doing recess or "they play wall ball and I don't know how." I can give him suggestions on things to do ("you could go watch on the side for a bit, and see if you think you'd like to learn." "You could tell N that you'd like to learn and ask for his help."), but since I'm not THERE, I can't facilitate much.
How can I help him:
a) Not be quite so much of a sheep
b) develop friendships with kids who have more mutual interests (boy or girl, I don't care, but right now he doesn't have anyone who's a kindred spirit).
Lynn, academic, wife, WOHM to T (4/01) and M (5/04)