Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Vancouver, for now...
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My boy did this when he was about 2 1/2--he's just turned 3 now. He would say "I dont love you mommy" or "daddy". For everything. I had to sit him down every time, and show him that words are power. Every time he would say it, we would cry (pretend) and tell him how much it hurt our feelings. We would explain that you cannot say things like that, that those words are very powerful and hurt our feelings. He would usually end it by giving us a hug and telling us he does love us.
I think your boy says it because he knows its getting to you, that he gets what he wants. I would really put my foot down, and talk it out to get it to stop, esp. with a new baby coming. Kids will really do whatever you allow them too. They will walk into the road in front of a car if you dont stop them and tell them how dangerous it is. Kids really need guidance, with room to explore themselves. But, it does not hurt a bit, and will hurt you a lot less if you make things clear to them, as to the effect their words and actions have on others.
WHen he throws his toys, he if frustrated, and mad at that toy that it hurt him. So, he acts it out. Get him to do something, maybe try actions, rather than words to get his frustration out. Like, my son, when he gets hurt, growwllllssss a big growl and says "THHaaatttt hhuuurrrttt mmmoooommmm" all stetched out like that. And then I kiss his booboo, and say, "well, if you looked where you were walking, then you would have seen that toy on the floor and you would not have tripped over it. So, next time, look where you are going. OK?" And it is usually Ok.
I had a really hard time with my boy for the first 2 years. I never punished, or guided rather, because even now, I rarely punish. I would just let everything go, thinking that he was just exloring his new life, and it caused me a lot of problems when it all went too far. There just always comes a time, if you want to have a child that is smart, can think for himself, and has knowledge of right and wrong, when you will have to really start with action.
Good Luck, Hope I did not rattle off too much.
Much Love to ya,