birthday party ettiquette - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 8 Old 03-25-2008, 07:41 AM - Thread Starter
 
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DD (6) has been invited to two parties at (almost) the same time.

What are the rules here?

Would it be okay to tell the second set of parents dd could come late? Decline completely and let another kid enjoy the party in her place?

These girls are in a small class, I expect that a few kids are going to have been invited to both. I envisage that, for a few reasons, the first party is going to be the more popular, and I feel bad for the other kid. I want dd to be empathic about it, too, but I don't want to insist that she give up the first party and resent it.

Hope, or suggest that the second kid reconsider their timing?

wwyd?
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#2 of 8 Old 03-25-2008, 12:24 PM
 
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What are the times of the parties & how far away from each other are they?

The weekend before Easter my dd(and half of her classmates) were invited to 2 parties on Saturday. 1 was rom 2-4, the other from 4:30-6:30.

I got to the first party at 4 to pick my dd up, the birthday girl for the next party was there so we stayed until she was picked up.lol They were on opposite sides of town, but in this town it takes 10minutes to get anywhere so that wasn't a big deal.

There is nothing wrong with telling the parents of the 2nd party that your dd may be late. I've had kids come late to parties before & had to tell parents of other kids that my kid will be late to the party.

I would NOT suggest the 2nd kid change the time of their party.

Most parents do not have backup kids to invite if a certain child cannot make it. Plus for all you know there are other kids outside the school who were invited to the 2nd party.

I'd just let the parents know you'll probably be late. You could also find out what time cake/presents are at the first party & pick her up early.
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#3 of 8 Old 03-25-2008, 03:02 PM - Thread Starter
 
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One is 10.30 to 12.30, at a soft play centre twenty minutes drive from the second one, which is 12-2 pm. So she'd have to miss a substantial chunk of either to do both.

DD is home now. As I'd expected she does very much want to go to the first one and is a bit ambivalent about the second. To give you some background the second one is for the child I posted about her relationship with here:

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=863854

Which, incidentally I've dealt with by making excuses to keep the most recent play date short and have not yet invited her back, (feels guilty)
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#4 of 8 Old 03-25-2008, 03:40 PM
 
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I really don't see a big deal in picking your dd up 15 mins early from the first party and arriving 15 mins late for the second party.
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#5 of 8 Old 03-25-2008, 04:50 PM - Thread Starter
 
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[quote/]I really don't see a big deal in picking your dd up 15 mins early from the first party and arriving 15 mins late for the second party.[/quote]

The parties are about twenty minutes apart by car. I can't see dd leaving the first early all that graciously.

She's in a sticky situation that I'm not doing well at helping her out of. The second party is for a kid whose parents seem to have picked dd out as a potential best buddy for their kid who seems short of children to play with.

She's a nice girl in a Tigger sort of a way, but dd finds it a bit much. I do want her to be sensitive to the fact that her friendship with lil' Tigger is likely very significant to Tigger, and I want her to be kind and inclusive, but not at the expense of the friendships she's formed without...encouragement.
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#6 of 8 Old 03-25-2008, 04:58 PM
 
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Seriously... its leaving 15 minutes early from the first party!! I don't think that's going to ruin any friendships your daughter has formed.
I'm sure if you explain the situation to the parents, they will understand.

Maybe I'm wrong, but it seems like you want someone to say "Then don't go to the second party"

If you don't want her to go, then don't go, just maybe prepare your dd for some very hurt feelings from the other girl when she finds out that your dd went to the first party and not hers.

I also wanted to add that its great you want to teach your dd to be inclusive and such. But, if she really isn't into this other kid, it's all right to teach her that you don't have to be friends with everyone... people are different and don't always mesh yk?
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#7 of 8 Old 03-25-2008, 05:28 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I make it twenty-five minutes off each party to split her time evenly between the two once you add in the traveling time.

No, I don't want anybody to tell me not to go to the second one. I'd quite like someone to pat me on the head and tell me that it's a bit not fair on a six year-old to have that kind of social responsibility, I suppose.
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#8 of 8 Old 03-25-2008, 05:30 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by aeiouys View Post
Seriously... its leaving 15 minutes early from the first party!! I don't think that's going to ruin any friendships your daughter has formed.
It would be 15 minutes if the parties were next door to each other. But since they overlap by 30 minutes (15 mins ea.) and are 20 minutes away (10min ea.), allowing for time in and out of cars and extra traffic, you're looking at 25-30 minutes out of each, at least.

My DD would go to the one she was invited to first.

Mom to K (06.23.06) & A (09.13.09)
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