DS is a nudist? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 7 Old 03-28-2008, 08:39 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Well, my 3.5 yo DS has decided that he doesn't want to wear clothes. I don't know quite what to think of it all...I mean, it's natural for people to be naked. I'm not sure how to deal with it...should I just let him do it and grow out of it? That's the direction I tend to lean in. But there's another side of me that says that I should try to get him to wear clothes because that's what's acceptable in public (he DOES wear clothes in public, of course!). We live on the first floor of an apartment complex, and he always goes to the sliding glass doors and opens the blinds and shows his naked self!!! Again, part of me says "who cares? I'd do it too, if I could!" and the other half says "what if some pervert walks by and sees my son and targets him??" So, mammas...what would you do?

Jess ~ RN & student CNM, Blogger (see profile), wifey to T-Rav & momma to sons Buggy ~7/04 & Newt ~1/08 & Tad 6/19/09 & Con-man 1/11!  <3
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#2 of 7 Old 03-28-2008, 09:50 PM
 
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My dd has been in this "stage" for about a year now.

The 'rules' in our house are:

If you're in the house, you can be naked.
If you're in the backyard (fenced, in the middle of the block), you can be naked.

If we're going somewhere, you need to have a dress/panties or shirt/pants (and panties) on, and shoes.

I refuse to worry about my kids being targeted by some weirdo who randomly walks by. Keep an eye on who's walking by for sure, and if you see someone often walking by, then I'd think about changing the rules. Or put some lawn chairs or other stuff in front of the windows so he's not so easily seen!

My kids have played naked in the front yard (there's more sun there, so when it's a bit cool and they want to play in the sprinkler, it's in the front yard). Other than shocking a few 5-6 year old neighbor girls, it hasn't done a lot of harm. Last year when ds turned 6, he voluntarily began to put a swimsuit on in the front yard.

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#3 of 7 Old 03-28-2008, 10:30 PM
 
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After reading your post, I had to think about what I would do in your shoes.

I think you're right about it being something that he'll pass through. Since he's ok with wearing clothes when you go out in public, I wouldn't worry about it around the house.

As for your glass door, it sounds like you don't want him flashing people because of his safety. While you're concerned for his safety I want to point out that it is more common for children to be molested by people they know than by a stranger. Does your glass door open onto a busy area? Is it common for people to be passing by?

The thing is that you need to follow your intuition... if you're uncomfortable, then give him some simple boundaries with his body. I've told my son that his penis is special for him, no one else. Only he can touch his penis and when we change his diaper. (I suppose we'll have to also add the doctor at the doctor's office). This has only come up a few times when he has had questions about his body, for instance at bath time. At any rate, I want my son to feel comfortable with himself, his body, and as he matures his sexuality... Yet I also want there to be clear boundaries for safety.

Take this for what it's worth. While I'm not a nudist, we do have an open house in terms of being nude around each other at bath times and getting dressed. We actually don't have naked days, but I know some families who do.

None the less, you're going to have to do what YOU"RE comfortable with... And it sounds like you're ok with him being nude in the house, and not comfortable with your son flashing the neighbors. Are you comfortable setting a boundary about the sliding glass door? Like if you want to stand in the doorway you need to have your underwear on?

good luck
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#4 of 7 Old 03-28-2008, 10:39 PM
 
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I know there have been different stages in my son's life when I am faced with new risks and dangers. I think it's natural (like being nude) to have those initial worries. Just don't let them take over--you can't worry about the what-if's... All you can do is take the necessary precautions for your area, and relax.
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#5 of 7 Old 03-28-2008, 10:44 PM
 
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Kids love to be naked. It probably wont chang too quick. But you can close the blinds and tell him they must be closed while he's naked. Its alright for family to see our naked bodies, but not the rest of the neighborhood.

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#6 of 7 Old 03-28-2008, 10:58 PM
 
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My DD always loved being nude as a baby, toddler, young child. She discovered modesty somehow on her own around age 6.5 years. She still loves to be naked around family, but will dress immediately if she knows others may be around and does not want to show off her body to friends/strangers, etc. As a little one though she could care less. And she also has always loved to dance- but back when she was about 2-4 she would dance naked all around, sometimes even on top of the coffee table. imagine the jokes we cracked about what she would grow up to be.
As others have said, it's totally natural.
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#7 of 7 Old 03-28-2008, 11:30 PM - Thread Starter
 
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We're pretty relaxed about stuff like that in our house...we don't walk around in the buff all day long, but we've never made a big deal about seeing each other naked, showering together, etc. The reason I started wondering about things in my head was because we were at WalMart the other day, and he just took off his pants and underwear for no apparent reason! And we live in a very high-traffic, having neighbors, neighbor's kids, and people we don't know walking in front of our sliding doors ALL of the time. 10 feet outside our door is the parking lot for the complex, and it's not exactly a nice complex. That's why I'm concerned about the "wrong" person seeing my son. If I had a yard all my own that was reasonably private, I'd have no qualms about letting him play in the nude as much as he wants!

You all brought up good points, and I thank you for your input. I do feel bad about being a bit of a worry-wart. I have seen too much in my life...besides having my own experience with being molested (by a relative, by the way...good point jaidymama...), I work in jails as a nurse, and see lots of sex offenders and know about their crimes. I want nothing more than to keep my children safe, as I know we all do. Maybe it's just my background and paranoia surrounding it that's getting the better of me.

Jess ~ RN & student CNM, Blogger (see profile), wifey to T-Rav & momma to sons Buggy ~7/04 & Newt ~1/08 & Tad 6/19/09 & Con-man 1/11!  <3
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