What to do? (night-time wetting) - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 20 Old 04-02-2008, 10:33 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I have 2 stepsons (ages of these are 6 and 9) and they still wear GoodNights to bed and wet them thoroughly each night. Every night.

We have them 2 nights a week and EOW and this wetting has been a constant since I've known them (over 3 years). They do this every night at their moms house too and according to the kids, it doesn't seem to bother her, she just keeps putting them in GoodNights. The boys recognize that they are getting older and they don't know how to "tell" their bodies to make it through the night without wetting. We tried the stopping drinking fluids after 6pm, making sure they go potty before heading to bed, etc. It's just that their bodies are used to just peeing whenever it wants to, after so many years of not being "trained" to hold it till morning. I'm kind of peeved at the GoodNights making it so the kids don't even feel they are wet..it completely circumvents the body recognizing it is wet, yk?

I'm at a loss...they want to stop wetting, I want to help them (they've asked for my help) but I have no idea how to help? Neither does their dad....

Suggestions?

TIA
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#2 of 20 Old 04-02-2008, 10:51 PM
 
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From what I understand, the tried and true "old school" way is to set your alarm every hour or two and go wake them up and take them to the bathroom. After a few nights of doing this, they begin to get in tune with having to go while they sleep and will start waking up to go. Other than a serious lack of sleep for a few nights, I don't see why this wouldn't still work.

ETA: This will only work if it's strictly a training issue. If there are underlying reasons such as a medical or psychological motivation, then it won't make a difference.
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#3 of 20 Old 04-02-2008, 11:12 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I should have clarified that there is no medical issue or otherwise at play here; thanks for the input!
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#4 of 20 Old 04-02-2008, 11:22 PM
 
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I'm sorry, I disagree that their bodies have been "trained" to do this. I have a 6 (almost 7) yo and a 3 yo. The 6 yo wets his Goodnight EVERY night. He sleeps heavily and his body just doesn't sense that it has to go. Our 3 yo dd is completely night trained. She began waking up dry, wanted to try to go to bed without a pull-up, and has had only 1 accident. Her body was ready, ds' is not.

If you think it's solely the Goodnights, then work out a plan with their mom (and mom needs to be on board), that you'll stop the Goodnights for a week or two. Then, see if they can learn to go all night without wetting. If they make it to about 75% of the time, then I'd continue to go without them. If not, then go back.

The key however is to present this to the boys that you are trying to see if their bodies are ready to learn to go all night. And that their bodies might not be ready.

Bedwetting is largely something outside a child's control. It's most likely genetic and runs in families. I suspect the boys have one or more relatives who wet the bed. http://www.drgreene.com/21_6.html

The research I've read suggests that limiting drinks, getting kids up in the middle of the night and setting alarms don't work until a child is READY. My sister tried ALL of those things, and my niece wet the bed until she was 11 or 12. There's not much you can do about it. So you may need an attitude adjustment if the trial run without Goodnights doesn't work. Take a deep breath and remind yourself that they will not go to college like this. And if they do, then they'll have to buy the goodnights and dispose of them all by themselves!

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#5 of 20 Old 04-03-2008, 01:21 AM
 
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I agree with Lynn.

I wet the bed when I was a kid until I was 10--and it caused total hell in my life and family because my mom just didn't recognize that it was beyond my control. I had to see urologists, psychiatrists, various therapists. I actually remember sitting in a psychiatrist's office, listening to him question me about why I hate my mother and am wetting my bed to punish her. I had to take potions, antibiotics (for no reason as I had no medical problems), I wasn't allowed to drink at night even if I was thirsty. It sucked. My mother blamed herself for being a bad mother, she blamed me too. (I obviously still have issues about it).

That's just my experience. I advise you not to stress about it. They will grow out of it eventually.
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#6 of 20 Old 04-03-2008, 10:39 AM
 
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Another poster in agreement with Lynn!

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#7 of 20 Old 04-03-2008, 11:50 AM
 
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This isn't something kids can control, although there are medical interventions for it. We worried about this when my oldest was 5 (OK-can't actually believe I was concerned at that age, but I didn't know much!). My very wise pedi told me that barring psychological issues or an issue like UTI or something, the child's body would take it's own course. He did say not to make a big deal of it w/the child. The bedwetting reolved on it's own. I always knew that if it became a HUGE social issue, ie overnight at camp, etc. we could resort to medication for a short time, but that never happened.

Most likely one of you s-son's bio parents was a little slower to be night-time dry. If it is incredibly bothersome to them perhaps someone could make an appointment to go talk to their pedi with them. Our pedi was so reassuring to my Dc that her body would work at being dry, and she wasn't responsible for the nightime wetting.
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#8 of 20 Old 04-04-2008, 04:51 AM
 
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It's lack of vasopressin production at nighttime, right?
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#9 of 20 Old 04-04-2008, 01:04 PM
 
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My dd still wets the bed about once a month. She's a very deep sleeper and had cloth diapers at night since she was an infant (so I wouldn't blame the Goodnites). Feeling wet doesn't wake her, as we co-sleep, I'm the one that wakes when I feel a wet spot. I took her to the bathroom in the middle of the night for over 3 yrs. While it did stop the bed wetting, it didn't "train" her, though eventually she did stop wetting on a regular basis.

I've used the nasal spray for special overnights

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#10 of 20 Old 04-04-2008, 03:31 PM
 
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I remember still wetting the bed at night at ages 6 and 7 sometimes. I eventually grew out of it. DS is 5 and still has a wet pullup in the mornings more than half the time.

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#11 of 20 Old 04-04-2008, 06:32 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LynnS6 View Post
I'm sorry, I disagree that their bodies have been "trained" to do this. I have a 6 (almost 7) yo and a 3 yo. The 6 yo wets his Goodnight EVERY night. He sleeps heavily and his body just doesn't sense that it has to go.
I agree. Well, except the invention of goodnites may have made it easier for a child to get used to wetting at night. That's a possibility. If it weren't for goodnites I wonder sometimes if my child would not wet the bed. We've become dependent on them.

My older two kids (boys) were completely trained by age 3-4 to not wet the bed. They had accidents right after they were day trained but were night trained within a matter of months. There weren't any goodnites back then so I basically had to get them to go potty, no fluids after a certain time, etc. My DD, however, has been potty trained since age 3.5 and is still wearing a goodnite to bed at this point and she just turned 6. She can go potty before laying down and will still fill a goodnight sometimes. It just depends. I can't imagine waking her just to go potty though so I let her wear the goodnites for now. I'm sure she will eventually grow out of it.

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#12 of 20 Old 04-06-2008, 07:16 PM
 
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My DS is 6 and still wets a Goodnight most nights. At 5 he wanted to stop wearing them so we gave it a try. For 3-4 weeks we woke up wet most nights (I'd say 4-5 out of 7). Finally I asked if he would like to go back to Goodnights since it was so hard on him to wake up wet in the morning. He said yes, and here we are. Note that I said he woke wet in the morning. He never did wake up at night when he peed. He just slept through it and woke up cold and wet in the morning.

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#13 of 20 Old 04-06-2008, 08:35 PM
 
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Originally Posted by mommy68 View Post
I agree. Well, except the invention of goodnites may have made it easier for a child to get used to wetting at night. That's a possibility. If it weren't for goodnites I wonder sometimes if my child would not wet the bed.
I don't know about your theory unless my kids are the exception that proves the rule. Ds wore good-nights for about 6 months before he was able to go through the night. DD is now 7 and still wakes up wet more often then not. We actually just had a one month run without the goodnites and she started having accidents every night again. We are back in the goodnites. It is what it is.

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#14 of 20 Old 04-07-2008, 10:43 AM
 
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Another in agreement with Lynn!
I wet the bed until I was 11... and they didn't have Goodnights back then. You can get a mattress pad, extra sheets, and even cloth "goodnights" in their size (they will feel wet, but shouldn't leak)...
Anyway, they aren't doing it on purpose.

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#15 of 20 Old 04-07-2008, 11:33 AM
 
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My friend took her 8 year old son to a naturopath for this very issue. he suggested that he go on an elimination diet. They cut out dairy, wheat, soy, corn, oats, gluten basically and I think that's it but I can ask her. The first week of not eating all that stuff, her son was dry on and off, but the stretches of dry got longer. The final 6 days of the diet he was completely dry.

Then he chose dairy to add back, and ate lots of it at every meal. She said he peed his own private lake in the bed that night. Swamped the diaper and everything. Back off again, and two days later, back to being dry. Today they start wheat, but now they've established that he has a problem with dairy.

It was tough for her to do all those restrictions until she went to a natural foods store or whole foods and found gluten free alternatives for just about everything. Some weren't as tasty as she'd hoped, but most were great, including a gluten free baking mix that she used for lots of things.

I'm considering trying it here with my family, because I suspect that we all have a dairy allergy. We'll see if it helps my almost 4 yo dd stop wetting at night, but that's not the thrust of why I'd like to do it.

Anyway, thought i"d suggest it. I was surprised by the results -- I figured he'd have known by that age if he was sensitive to something, but I guess not.

Good luck
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#16 of 20 Old 04-07-2008, 12:14 PM
 
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I was a bed wetter until 10ish.............My body wasn't train to do this. I would have love Good nights. There is a lot of people in my family that were late bed wetters.

I wouldn't blame good nights. Their mom might not think it is a big deal because she was a bed wetter herself. askdrsears.com had a good article on bedding but the site is down now.
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#17 of 20 Old 04-07-2008, 02:01 PM
 
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I don't know about your theory unless my kids are the exception that proves the rule. Ds wore good-nights for about 6 months before he was able to go through the night. DD is now 7 and still wakes up wet more often then not. We actually just had a one month run without the goodnites and she started having accidents every night again. We are back in the goodnites. It is what it is.
I'm not sure what you mean? : I was looking at it from both sides. I said the Goodnites may have made it easier for my child to go this long and not get up at night to go potty. But she also sleeps very deeply and I feel like even without the Goodnites she may still have problems. I didn't say one way or the other, just either/or. I really will never know I guess. I had an older sister who wet the bed from time to time until she was almost a teenager. My other sister used to poke fun at her and I always felt sorry for her. I would never make light of someone who does this.

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#18 of 20 Old 04-07-2008, 02:04 PM
 
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Originally Posted by siouxbee View Post
My friend took her 8 year old son to a naturopath for this very issue. he suggested that he go on an elimination diet. They cut out dairy, wheat, soy, corn, oats, gluten basically and I think that's it but I can ask her. The first week of not eating all that stuff, her son was dry on and off, but the stretches of dry got longer. The final 6 days of the diet he was completely dry.
This makes a lot of sense! My DD loves milk and cheese and ice cream, most dairy products. She drinks several cups of milk per day. I know when I used to drink milk it would make me go to the bathroom a lot more during the day. But I was allergic and just felt bad all over after drinking milk so I stopped. Lactaid has the same effect on me as milk did.

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#19 of 20 Old 04-07-2008, 04:12 PM
 
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My son is a heavy wetter in a pullup too and is nearly 6. Our pediatrician stated to us it is nothing at all to worry about until at least 7. Some are just deep, deep sleepers (he is). DH recalls wetting until late on too. As long as the child is daytime trained, our pediatrician said it was nothing to worry about. She gave us the percentages of those trained at 3, 4, 5, etc., etc. It kinda tapered off after 7 and 8 years I believe (those who wet the bed I mean).
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#20 of 20 Old 04-07-2008, 07:58 PM
 
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My dd, who night trained herself at 23 months, loves all things dairy. My boys, however, both had to wear pull ups till they were almost 10. They are able to do it when they're ready.
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