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5 yo and his BF have NO boundaries with each other

463 views 0 replies 1 participant last post by  kindacrunchy 
#1 ·
I've just come to this realization. The boys have been together since they wer 2-3 months old. It is like they are siblings that don't live in the samehouse with each other. His friend is the kind of kid that freaks out if someone does not do what is "right" and yet wtih my son it is ok with him because it was my son. My son will play things he doesn't want to play because he doesn't want to upset his friend. Or they play stuff with each other they would never play with other kids. For example, 1 1/2 yrs ago they were playing in the other room and my friend walked in on them and my son had his penis out and was sticking it through a toy (which he had been doing in bath) but i guess he wanted to check his friends, too. My friend explained that they play with clothes on and that their penises were their own to touch, etc. that kind of thing.
Well the two had their first play date in about a year (the mom and I had a falling out) and things were going well and they were playing upstairs. I didn't think anything of it. My son had to go to the bathroom and locked himself in the bathroom because he wants privacy and her son came downstairs and said that he didn't think that my son was doing what he said he was doing. I knew my son was going to the bathroom. His mom asked if he thought my son was going to hurt himself or break something and he said no so she told himnot to worry about it.
When we came home, I received an e-mail from her telling me that her son was still acting strange so she asked what was wrong. He said my son wanted to "doctor" him and he didn't want to so my son "doctored" himself and did something with the strings of his shorts. So she went into the whole keep your clothes on, don't share your private parts, tell your friends that, and if it is happening tell an adult. So, I went to my son to ask what happened and he wouldn't say anything so I reminded of the same things and he got a little upset and said he didn't do anything like that. Who knows what happened bu the point is that they have no boundaries with one another. I know kids explore and experiment and I don't want to shame him for it. However, I'm concerned that they have no boundaries with one another. It has caused behavioral problems in my son in the past becasue he was made the bad guy in their play for 3 weeks and so acted as such for three weeks. I don't know how to handle it. Do we separate them, do we let it go, do we totally supervise their play and if we see things that seem inappropriate whatever it may be intervene and walk them through it, do we let them figure it out. What would you do?
Thanks!
Karen
 
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