What is normal three year old tantrum/meltdown behaviour? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 6 Old 04-14-2008, 08:39 PM - Thread Starter
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Frequency, duration, what they say during, etc etc.
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#2 of 6 Old 04-14-2008, 09:09 PM
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My 3 yo averages about 10 mins per tantrum, mostly when he can't get something he wants. He has at least one every other day, getting to be less frequent as he gets into his mid 3's, although I'm not gonna count on that trend continuing. Some days he has many. He usually says: go away, don't talk to me, i want _ _ _, and sometimes he will even have lost it so bad he has two opposing desires at once, like: come in my room, go away... we call that the twilight zone. Hitting during meltdowns used to be a trend, but we're moving out of that phase it seems, Thank Goodness!!

This is what is normal for my child. I view him as very persistent and strong-willed.

*Liz* : mountain mama to DS 12/04
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#3 of 6 Old 04-14-2008, 09:45 PM
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DS has a melt down a couple of times a week, almost always on monday morning when DH has to leave for work--DS is bad with transitions to something new. Usually he is done after 10-15 minutes, but has had tantrums that have lasted more than 30. He usually says "I want my mommy or I want my daddy", depending on who is trying to comfort him at the time (he always denies the person that wants to help him, and asks for the parent who is not with him), he has said "I hate you" a couple of times (he does have older siblings), and mostly just cries or screams. He turns 4 this summer and I'm hoping he outgrows them--3 has been the worst.
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#4 of 6 Old 04-15-2008, 01:10 AM
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Tired, hungry or traumatized (you know, that - I didn't get a turn - kind of trauma), it can go from 2 seconds to 2 hrs. Well, it's never been two hours, but it's been an hour! My ds doesn't say a lot during, his vocab is huge, but he can't always use the words very well - grammer sucks - so he just fights us, cries, wants to be by himself sometimes. Pretty much anything goes, though - occasionally (recently) he'll say mean things to his sister, who is 6 yrs older than he is, so she can push his buttons pretty hard. Mostly he is fine if he's fed and not tired, though. It's SUCH an amazing age!

Mama to B and O , wife to J and me to me! :
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#5 of 6 Old 04-15-2008, 01:16 AM
My DS will be three in a couple weeks. He has between 1-5 tantrums a day. It just increased dramatically lately.
It's usually because he can't have his way. Like answer the phone or something like that. Often times he needs to have some time alone to calm down. He screams (loud!) and cries and either throws himself on the floor or lunges at whatever he's wanting. Then kicks and flails when you attempt to pick him up or carry him. Depending on how tired/hungry he is it can take anywhere from 2 minutes to 45 minutes to settle. This next year is going to be loooong.
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#6 of 6 Old 04-15-2008, 02:24 AM
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The "full" tantrum is dd lying on the floor kicking her feet at anything within reach, or standing up and throwing things around while having a fit. She's usually screaming about whatever it is that she wants at the time (and crying). They last anywhere from 3 to 20 minutes, with about 10 being the average. I'd say we have one about once a day to once every 3 days, depending on how tired dd is.

So, yesterday she came in from playing with the neighbor kids and wanted to take her bed pillow out because they were playing 'hotel'. I didn't want to deal with the dirty/wet pillow, so I said no. I offered to help make another pillow out of something else that she could bring out (a towel), but she was having none of it. So she whined. Then she screamed that she wanted to take her pillow out, that it wasn't fair, she never got to take her pillow out, she really wanted to take her pillow out.....and then she stopped briefly and asked "Mom, why is the Earth in the middle of the planets?" and "How do you get down onto Earth?".... and then she went back to whining about wanting to take the pillow out. At that point in time I offered to snuggle and we laid down on the bed together for 5-10 minutes.

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