Learning to Use the Potty at 3+ yo - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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#31 of 49 Old 10-02-2003, 11:23 PM
 
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I just said, the diapers are gone. We don't have them anymore but have underwear now. She asked for them repeatedly. She wasn't stresse, though- if she had been I would have given them back.

Being right is not always fair, but being fair is always right
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#32 of 49 Old 11-16-2003, 06:45 PM
 
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My ds is almost 4 and VERY determined to not train. He was interested at 18 months and we bought a little potty chair and just left it in the bathroom. By 2 1/2 he was peeing in it regularly. But the first time he tried to pooh (when he was almost 3) his little potty seat fell in!!! That coupled with the new baby sister TOTALLY made him regress (to not even wanting to pee in it).

One of my friends who forcibly trained her son and my stupid ped did not help by putting the pressure on. The ped recommended having him sit on the potty for 5 min after every meal--but not make a big deal out of it. But she said he could do it clothed or not, and he really gloamed onto that, so now he refuses to even pull his pants down anymore!!!!!!!! So I suggest "potty time" a couple times a day and he goes and sits (fully clothed) for a bit, then washes his hands, then comes for a diaper change. I'm frustrated by the regression, but determined to not put anymore pressure on. He's a perfectionist, too--like someone else mentioned).
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#33 of 49 Old 11-17-2003, 02:44 AM
 
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My dd had a pretty easy time of learning to use the toilet and wearing panties. Diapers were gone by 2 & 1/2. However, around the time she turned 3, she started peeing in her panties again. We talked about her "listening to her body" and then getting to the toilet or outside in time for the "shi-shi" to come out. So when she was wearing panties and we were going to be out and about, I would say, "Will you please listen to your body and let me know if you have to go shi-shi?"...."yes, Mama". If she then did pee in her panties, no big deal, here's another pair. But more often than not, she would let me know and then be very excited about the fact that she was listening to her body. Now, when I ask her, before we go out or whatever, if she needs to go shi-shi, she says, "No mama, I'ma listen to my body". ..."OK"
In this, I don't feel that I am pushing her, but I am encouraging her, and she feels very proud of her self and knows that she is accepted either way.
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#34 of 49 Old 11-25-2003, 10:45 PM
 
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When she is ready I found it helped to get nice thick training pants that look like underwear to graduate to from the diaper Before getting thin cotton pantys. The thicker ones are easier to hang onto pulling up and down and don't twist up at the leg and waist so much and if she 'drips' a little she won't be as apt to panic or feel bad/worry about bed, clothing, or carpet. I got ours from a cloth diaper company, can't remember now which one. After these we went to Hanna's which are really comfy, no nylon, itchy lace, or elastic rubbing skin. Just another opinion lol

mary

mom to ds 15, ds9, ds6, dd 4 yrs
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#35 of 49 Old 11-25-2003, 10:50 PM
 
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When she is ready I found it helped to get nice thick training pants that look like underwear to graduate to from the diaper Before getting thin cotton pantys. The thicker ones are easier to hang onto pulling up and down and don't twist up at the leg and waist so much and if she 'drips' a little she won't be as apt to panic or feel bad/worry about bed, clothing, or carpet. I got ours from a cloth diaper company, can't remember now which one. After these we went to Hanna's which are really comfy, no nylon, itchy lace, or elastic rubbing skin. Just another opinion lol

mary

mom to ds 15, ds9, ds6, dd 4 yrs

edited to add- We saved a couple diapers and Vanna had them to put on her baby doll which is a Baby doll that can wet
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#36 of 49 Old 11-26-2003, 02:56 AM
 
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A couple tricks we used: a baby doll that wet itself. Josef got to tell it "oh, baby don't pee on the carpet, pee in the potty!" and he got to see it pee repeatedly in the potty. He liked that trick. I think he got to be comfortable with the whole idea while 'teaching' his baby doll. We also didn't make a big deal of actually using the potty, we kept telling him how impressed we were with keeping himself dry. That was the big deal. I'd stop him unexpectedly and give him a sticker for being dry. I don't care how many times he pees in the potty if he's still peeing in his pants. I also made him change his clothes if he peed in them, but that wasn't a point he ever argued. I helped him get clean with his poop accidents, but had him redress himself.
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#37 of 49 Old 11-26-2003, 03:45 AM
 
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Okay, I actually had to get back on line to add this, after just posting ideas to help 'speed up' the training.

What a remarkble job you're doing just hanging with it, the way Iris is comfortable advancing. There's nothing wrong with her, or the way you're handling it. A laid back attitude is the best thing you can give her, and it sounds like you've got that covered. So many moms get hung up on a time schedule of when things should happen. You're right, it really isn't a big deal. And it shouldn't be.

There, add that with my other two cents, now you have four cents from me. Good luck.
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#38 of 49 Old 11-26-2003, 04:53 AM - Thread Starter
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Thanks for the encouragement Ja Mama! Hmm, what can I buy with four cents? I'll just save it, k?

Not much has changed since I posted this. Yesterday I proposed panties after changing her. She looked at them and said she had to pee first. I asked, "Do you want to use the toilet?" And she replied, "No, I'll use the potty." She said, "I'll have to push." And she sat there pushing for a while. But nothing came. So I again proposed the panties. But she said she wanted a diaper. Oh well.

One funny thing that has been happening is that her papa insists that she must sit on the potty to read books - when he's around. (He emphasizes to her that whether or not she actually pees is irrevelant to him). So she spends the entire weekend asking when papa's going back to work or did papa go out? Hee hee. It doesn't seem to be doing any harm (except that she won't go near a book all weekend). It's very much a thing between the two of them.
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#39 of 49 Old 11-26-2003, 09:51 PM
 
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We're in the same boat w/3.5 yo ds. He's done both in the potty, but just isn't interested right now. I know he'll do it when he's ready. Still, it can be frustrating at times, wondering if there's something else I should be doing to encourage him.

I think one of our biggest obstacles is using the 'big' toilet. We got him a little potty, and he'd use it, but we can't take him out anywhere in undies because he doesn't want to sit on a big potty (even w/a seat insert). So whenever we try to encourage him to use undies it inevitably ends when we have to put him in a diaper to go out anywhere. So we can't just say 'no more diapers'.
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#40 of 49 Old 11-27-2003, 12:28 AM - Thread Starter
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Well, here there are only a handful of public toilets - so that's not an issue - just hold em (in a position that the people here have mastered) over the grass.
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#41 of 49 Old 11-27-2003, 10:55 AM
 
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we had a 3 1/2 year old (going on four) at my daycare/preschool that was completely trained for us (never fought underwear, went when we brought him to the toilet, etc) but would not go at home.. mom knew he could hold it, etc.. the reason we trained him was bc he would hold it all morning and then pee all at once and flood his diaper...so we knew he had control too..

so one day she bought him a pack of diapers and told him it was going to be the last one... he was old enough to understand what she meant, which is why i think it worked.. she said this is the last pack of diapers i am going to buy.. when they are all gone, you are going to wear your underwear and pee on the potty.... and let me tell ya, it worked!! She said he found every last and spare diaper around the house and she would put it on, and when they were gone she put underwear on him.. he didnt fight, he went on the potty np!!

i think it worked bc it kind of gave him a tangible timing as to when it was going to be over... he was able to have some warning and prepare for that change at home... he was able to say goodbye to his diapers, if you will....
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#42 of 49 Old 11-27-2003, 12:07 PM
 
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My daughter was partially potty trained from 2.5 to 4 yo. As late as 3 yrs 9 months, she was still "partial." But, by the time she was hit 4 yo, she suddenly became completely potty trained. So, I would say sit back and don't worry about it. Of course, that is hard to do when you feel like everyone is judging your mothering skills by the age at which your daughter is potty trained. Sheesh, what a wonderful world we live in!

My daughter is still not nighttime safe. She is almost 5 and still wears pull ups to bed. Which, btw, she loves... But, her daytime potty use has been perfect since she was 4 yo.
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#43 of 49 Old 12-26-2003, 09:47 PM
 
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Well, ds's willingness to potty train has resumed after a conversaton I initiated about his concerns about potty training. I asked what his concerns were and what I could do to help him learn to use the potty successfullly. He said it makes him nervous when the water goes down, and didn't like itchy tags on the training pants. Also didn't want to be alone. Hey, those are all things we can fix or deal with! I also brought up accidents, since I guessed that he was concerned about those. And he expressed relief that I expect lots of accidents while he's learning and that's no big deal (even told him that's what we have carpet cleaner for if necessary). So he decided to start on Christmas day(turned 4 on the 12th of Dec) and has been in cloth training pants since yesterday morning. Yeah! Couple hits, mostly misses, but he's doing it!!!
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#44 of 49 Old 12-27-2003, 10:56 AM
 
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DS didn't use the potty till 3 1/2+. I just took the diapers away (except at night). We had a bunch of accidents, but we endured. To get him to poop, we used a chart and reward. After 20 poops on the potty (a sticker for each), he got a Thomas train. It's been about six weeks and we haven't had an accident in two weeks. (knock on wood).

So, if you're up to cleaning up accidents, just say, Bye Bye Diapers. We also had a Bye Bye diapers ceremony singing No More Diapers for you and eating a cup cake with candle. I think that's Dr. Phil's suggestion.

Good luck!
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#45 of 49 Old 12-31-2003, 11:38 AM
 
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We used stickers as rewards, too. But we used a blank poster, not a "chart". We didn't take the diapers away, but offered panties as well. No pressure, but lots of praise when they would choose panties, and/or use the potty. This worked beautifully with all three of my dd's.

Once they had shown the ability to use the potty, we increased their interest in using it by letting them pick out stickers at the store and promising to put one on the poster (large paper on the wall in the bathroom) every time they use the potty. Two stickers for a bm. We used the same procedure with each dd. They each started training around the age of 3. They each loved seeing the poster fill up with stickers. This has been especially gratifying for my youngest (3 yrs 3 mos) since she also has her older sisters cheering her on, as well as her Daddy and me.

I think the poster on the wall (right across from the potty) is a great motivator. My dd likes to pick out the specific spot on the poster where I will put the newly earned sticker. I let her pick out her sticker, too.

I never stressed about when they would potty train. They each started showing a little interest in it in the months before they turned 3. So I would show them how to use it (with a seat insert on the full sized potty, and a stepstool to get up there). Once they had done it a few times (could be once every few weeks), then we'd make the trip to the store to buy stickers and a poster and talk about learning to use the potty and how I wanted to reward them for their progress and that's what the stickers are for.

Anyway, that's what worked for us.
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#46 of 49 Old 12-31-2003, 12:08 PM
 
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Yeah, we have a little potty COVERED in stickers. That lost its appeal. But we're doing well now with training pants during the day, diapers at night and during outings. Reuben's okay w/ "accidents" now, and has actually predicted when he's needed to pee and gotten to the potty "in time". :-)
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#47 of 49 Old 01-02-2004, 11:56 PM
 
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just be patient like you are & wait for Iris to train herself. It is SO much easier, Joe was over four when he trained & I know some of my family thpught he would always be in pullups, but I didn't care. I had the confidence in him to know that he would learn when HE was ready to learn. I never belittled him & would not have permitted anyone else to do so. He has been 100% trained for close to a year; he will be FIVE in February. He wears a pullup at night but it is always dry. He has had TWO accidents, in the first week & that is it. No tears, no frustration, no energy wasted. He pees before he goes to bed around 10 or 11pm & doesn't pee until 11:00 the next morning. He has an iron bladder!

Iris is a smart girl, if she was ready to be out of diapers, she would be, kwim? If YOU do not have a problem changing her etc, then it is my opinion to just wait for her to decide. Joe was afraid to poop on the potty, had I forced him, I believe we would have had all sorts of control issues & years of bowel trouble.

I hope this reassures you. For a time I was SURE Joe would never train, as I was also sure he would never wean! :LOL Now I struggle to remember those moments...

Hope you are doing well, I think of you often!
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#48 of 49 Old 01-03-2004, 12:35 AM
 
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Our son has an iron bladder, too. Things are going really well now that we got Dad on board, too (w/ not nagging, leaving it up tp Reuben, not showing any impatience, etc.) Lots of "leaks" as ds calls them, but several successful tries, too. He'll figure out when to get to the potty soon enough.
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#49 of 49 Old 01-03-2004, 02:00 AM
 
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We decided to let ds go totally on his own. He was interested at 2 so I went out and bought the potty seat, and made a big deal. Then nothing. We let it go, I never intended to start this early anyways.

I think my mom might of put a little pressure or something, though I'm usually always around and he's never spent much time alone with her. Suddenly he has a potty aversion. So we let it go again.

Then, he's 3.5 and still in diapers. I offer a choice some days, diapers, pull ups or undies and he says diapers. So, we let it go. Once at the playground, he's with a group of kids.

I overhear them saying, "hey, you stink".
He says, "that's not me, it's the poop in my diaper that stinks"
Other kid "you still wear diapers? How come?"
Ben, "Well, I do right now, I won't always, but I do right now. It's no big deal you know. I'll be right back, my mom will change me and I won't stink anymore".

So basically he didn't care.

Finally, two weeks before his FOURTH birthday, he comes in and says, "Does Luke Skywalker wear diapers? no Pull ups? no Underwear? yes, Then I am through with diapers, I'm moving on now.

And that was it. Very few accidents, mostly me not getting him there quickly enough. Never a nighttime accident the whole time (good thing since we co-sleep)

I think he will wean this way as well. Someday. He's 4.75 and still nursing. So, he takes his time on things. Which is fine with me. They all eventually do it. No one goes to college in diapers. I got some pressure from others, but I knew it was better to just let him do it himself. I didn't potty train him, I had nothing to do with it. He did it totally by himself.
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