Do your kids refer to adults as "Miss Firstname" and "Mister Firstname"? - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 137 Old 04-19-2008, 05:18 PM - Thread Starter
 
akwifeandmomma's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Anchorage, AK
Posts: 1,020
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'm pretty sure I'm in the minority here, but I can't stand it.

I guess people do it as a form of respect for adults, right? But to me it sounds so ridiculous and just... ugh. It's like nails on a chalkboard. For now, I teach my kids to call our friends and other adults by Mr. or Mrs. Lastname, unless they say it's okay for them to call them by their first names. And then it's strictly first names, no Miss or Mister attached.

When kids call me "Miss Shanna", I usually say, "You can just call me Shanna." But I understand that other parents want their kids to refer to adults this way, so I don't push it. I've been asked about it once, when I said I much prefer to be called by my first name alone, or Mrs. MyLastName if they must.

Anyway. Like I said, I know I'm probably the weird one here. I just don't think it's respectful, or cute, or anything other than annoying. So there.

And now I'll hop off my little soapbox.
akwifeandmomma is online now  
#2 of 137 Old 04-19-2008, 05:44 PM
 
mamabeca's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: NY
Posts: 3,110
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My kids do Montessori schools from age 3 on, and there the focus is on equality and child directed learning, so the kids call everyone by their first names all the time, from the principal to the bus lady. I like it, I think it does create an equal playing field in which children respect adults that respect children, kwim?

Mama to B and O , wife to J and me to me! :
mamabeca is offline  
#3 of 137 Old 04-19-2008, 05:49 PM
 
zinemama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: from the fire roads to the interstate
Posts: 6,568
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My kids don't and I have never heard a single other child do so. Isn't that generally a regional thing, though - southern?
zinemama is offline  
#4 of 137 Old 04-19-2008, 05:54 PM
 
LynnS6's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Pacific NW longing for the Midwest
Posts: 12,565
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Well, our neighbor kids do, but that's because my dh and I have different last names and so no one knows what to call me! I usually go by the lead of the person we talk to. I teach my kids "Mr./Ms. Lastname" but if the parents ask for first name, then that's fine by me. But it usually ends up being Mr./Ms. Firstname. It doesn't bother me.

Lynnteapot2.GIF, academicreading.gif,geek.gif wife, WOHM  to T jog.gif(4/01) and M whistling.gif (5/04)
LynnS6 is offline  
#5 of 137 Old 04-19-2008, 06:07 PM
 
the_lissa's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Southern Ontario, Canada
Posts: 13,248
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Never. I've never heard anyone do it or want to be called that. I find it creepy and odd.

Jam 7, Peanut Butter 5, and Bread 2.

the_lissa is offline  
#6 of 137 Old 04-19-2008, 06:13 PM
 
Lingmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 669
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'm usually just "DD's mom" to other children and I feel fine with that. And I'm "mom" to my own kids. I don't like them calling me by my first name. I will always call my mom and dad "mom" and "dad".

I prefer Mr./Ms First name over Mr/Ms. Last name though. It feels less stuffy and more friendly. Just repeat this list over a few times and you'll like it better:

King Arthur
Queen Elizabeth
Pope John Paul
Dr. Phil
Father Patrick
Mother Theresa
Brother John
Sister Maria
Sir Lancelot
Coach Bill
Saint Catherine
Lingmom is offline  
#7 of 137 Old 04-19-2008, 06:15 PM
 
the_lissa's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Southern Ontario, Canada
Posts: 13,248
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I don't like Mr/Miss/Etc last name either.

Jam 7, Peanut Butter 5, and Bread 2.

the_lissa is offline  
#8 of 137 Old 04-19-2008, 06:21 PM - Thread Starter
 
akwifeandmomma's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Anchorage, AK
Posts: 1,020
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by zinemama View Post
Isn't that generally a regional thing, though - southern?
See, I thought it was a Southern thing, but here in Alaska, it's become the norm, at least in my experience.
akwifeandmomma is online now  
#9 of 137 Old 04-19-2008, 06:22 PM
 
Cajunmomma's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 882
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I think it's a geographical distinction. I live in the Deep South (Louisiana), and we were always taught to address non-related adults (except some school teachers or ministers) as Miss (or Mrs.--but actually it was always Miss) Firstname or Mr. Firstname. In fact, I never heard any child call adults Miss (or Mrs.) Lastname until I had friends who had grown up in the "North". They were all surprised to hear the Miss or Mr. first name thing from children--most said that that would have been considered rude where they were raised.

I have nieces raised in NYC who refer to adults by their first names alone, and it always strikes me as odd (well, not so much anymore, since they are now adults as well).

Just my experiences.
Cajunmomma is offline  
#10 of 137 Old 04-19-2008, 06:23 PM
 
Tuesday's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,279
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I've not encountered anyone who called me Miss "Firstname" in my life. I think, in theory, it is a polite policy to call someone Mr./Ms./Mrs. Lastname until otherwise asked. BUT, in this day, at least in my world, people don't adopt their husband's last name or they are not married or ... etc. etc.

I pointedly kept my own surname when I was married and I always feel rather strange and slightly irked when someone calls me Mrs. "My husband's last name". I understand the assumption but it mildly irks me.

In any case, my sons are being raised to follow the request of the adult. My friends seem to want to be called by their first names and in fact have specifically requested to not be referred to as Mr or Ms Last Name. I think my friends would absolutely laugh their heads off if my son called any of them Miss Firstname.
Tuesday is offline  
#11 of 137 Old 04-19-2008, 06:24 PM
 
JBaxter's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: South Carolina
Posts: 4,282
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Im on the MD/PA boarder and the Miss/Mr first name is the norm here. My son has attened Montesorri for 2 yrs and all the teacher are Miss/Ms firstname. Many of my teenage son's friend call me Mrs Baxter. Its a sign of respect in this area

Jeana Christian momma to 4 sons Logan 18, Connor 15, Nathan 6, and bonus baby Jack 1
JBaxter is offline  
#12 of 137 Old 04-19-2008, 06:29 PM
 
Quaniliaz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 1,001
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Hmm - in MN/WI I've never called adults by anything other than their first name, unless asked to (i.e. teachers), and my dd doesn't either. In fact, I don't think I've heard of any child using Mr. firstname or mr. last name.

It would bug me to be called ms first or last name - but I recognize that it is a geographical thing, and would happily do so for others if that is what they preferred.
Quaniliaz is offline  
#13 of 137 Old 04-19-2008, 06:35 PM
 
loraxc's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: In the Truffula Trees
Posts: 4,480
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
DH and I are Northeasterners originally, but we now live in the South and use this convention. I now have come to prefer it over just first name or Ms. Lastname.

grateful mother to DD, 1/04, and DS, 2/08

loraxc is offline  
#14 of 137 Old 04-19-2008, 06:37 PM
 
co op mama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 250
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
At my dd school the kids call me _____'s mom or Mrs.______ or they call me by my first name. I have an accaintance whose children do the the Miss_____first name and she has actually prompted my kids to do the miss first name thing and I can't stand!
co op mama is offline  
#15 of 137 Old 04-19-2008, 06:39 PM
 
saimeiyu's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Makakilo, HI
Posts: 1,141
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
In Hawaii pretty much all the kids call other adults "auntie" or "uncle" instead of mr. or ms. I much prefer that. It's much less... authoritative? I guess.
saimeiyu is offline  
#16 of 137 Old 04-19-2008, 06:42 PM
 
journeymom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Having a Gilly Water with McGonagall
Posts: 9,766
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2 Post(s)
I prefer Mrs. Lastname.

Dd's first grade teacher taught them to call all the adult volunteers Mr. or Mrs. Firstname. I don't like it. I appreciate the show of respect, but it sounds funny to me. Dd and friends are in seventh grade now and they either call me by my first name or Mrs. Lastname. Or they don't know what to call me, so they just jump in and start talking.

Years ago the neighbor girl called me Cindy's Mom. Cindy's Mom, can Cindy come to play??

Someone moved my effing cheese.
journeymom is offline  
#17 of 137 Old 04-19-2008, 06:42 PM
 
mamazee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: US midwest
Posts: 7,500
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
People do it here, but it's just popped up lately. It sounds very southern to me and it really just grates on my nerves. I wish parents would let their kids just call me by my first name but they seem to think it's more respectful to call me Miss Firstname, even though I hate it. I sound like an 8-year-old pre-Civil War southern girl. Miss Scarlet! Miss Scarlet!
mamazee is offline  
#18 of 137 Old 04-19-2008, 06:47 PM
 
eclipse's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Mexico
Posts: 7,862
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I don't really like any sort of Miss/Ms/Mrs/Mr in front of first or last name. I teach my kids to address people how they want to be addressed - so if someone introduces themselves as "Ms. Smith," that's what they should call them until told otherwise. At my son's school, they call most of the teachers by Miss/Mr and their first name. Some have different preferences, though, and the kdis adjust. For example, my son has two teachers in his class. One goes by Ms Firstname and the other goes by Mr. First letter of long last name.
eclipse is offline  
#19 of 137 Old 04-19-2008, 06:54 PM
 
spruce's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 1,608
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2 Post(s)
My kids do. All of the kids.

Certainly not nails on chalkboard to me. To each their own.

love, penelope

Bookworm Mama to 6 wonderkids and stepmama to one more: 22, 21, 18, 13, 10, 8 and our Z born April 2013. . Partner to my       
spruce is offline  
#20 of 137 Old 04-19-2008, 07:16 PM
 
littlemizflava's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: GTA,ontario,canada
Posts: 1,426
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
i hate being called miss first or lastname it annoys me. (i have been called by my lastname alone but that is just because my lastname is wicked)
no miss or mr first or last name if i call the person by their first name so can my children but they are taught to address a lady that they dont know as mam and a man as sir....
littlemizflava is offline  
#21 of 137 Old 04-19-2008, 07:44 PM
 
jake&zaxmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Western North Carolina
Posts: 237
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I live in Western North Carolina and most people teach their children to call adults "Miss/Mr. First Name"

I've noticed that it always seems to be "Miss" regardless of marital status.

I, personally, don't care for "Mr. First Name" It sounds weird to me. I don't really mind "Miss First Name" though
jake&zaxmom is offline  
#22 of 137 Old 04-19-2008, 07:48 PM
 
thyme's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 397
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
This is the norm at my kids' school.

I prefer Ms. Firstname to Mrs. Lastname. (Mrs. Lastname sounds like my grandmother to me.)

I chaperoned a camping trip, and one of the counselors introduced himself as Shaggy. A few minutes later, one of the kids raised his hand and said "Mr. Shaggy, are we going to have marshmallows?"

LOL!
thyme is offline  
#23 of 137 Old 04-19-2008, 08:00 PM
 
MtBikeLover's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Chicago Burbs
Posts: 1,644
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
They do it here too and I don't really like it. I much prefer kids just to call me by my first name, even if I have never met them before.
MtBikeLover is offline  
#24 of 137 Old 04-19-2008, 08:05 PM
 
Juliacat's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Left of center
Posts: 5,398
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by akwifeandmomma View Post
I guess people do it as a form of respect for adults, right? But to me it sounds so ridiculous and just... ugh. It's like nails on a chalkboard. For now, I teach my kids to call our friends and other adults by Mr. or Mrs. Lastname, unless they say it's okay for them to call them by their first names. And then it's strictly first names, no Miss or Mister attached.
I am 100% on board with you here. I would prefer for people who don't know me well to call me Mrs. Lastname, and for friends to call me by my first name. Ms. Firstname gives me the heebiejeebies. But it seems like everyone does it that way nowadays! It was never like that when I was a kid.

Mommy to eyesroll.gif (age 7) and mischievous.gif (age 3)

Juliacat is offline  
#25 of 137 Old 04-19-2008, 08:06 PM
 
hottmama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Ann Arbor, MI
Posts: 5,305
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I prefer my first name and my kids call most adults by first name, unless they asked to be called Ms. firstname or Ms. lastname. I think my son calls his gymnastics coach "Ms. firstname" but I'm not sure.
I wouldn't mind "Ms. firstname" or "Ms. lastname" too much from a little kid, but from a teenager it would bother me. I'm not that old!
hottmama is offline  
#26 of 137 Old 04-19-2008, 08:06 PM
 
akaisha's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: From Canada, now in the UK.
Posts: 691
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
i'd prefer miss firstname to miss lastname if i had to be called one of over the other. but i'd rather just be amber. when i spent some time in new orleans all the LOs called me miss amber which was kinda cute, but i think i'd get sick of it really quick. in my family we call our aunts and uncles as well as my grandma by their firstnames, but that's mostly because my mom was adopted and we didn't meet our bio family till we were older. however, i actually really don't like being called miss, it's ms. thank you very much, i don't appreciate being defined by marital status, DP doesn't own me, kwim?
akaisha is offline  
#27 of 137 Old 04-19-2008, 08:14 PM
 
Jessy1019's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Flemington, NJ
Posts: 3,514
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
No, my kids refer to adults by their first names only, unless the adult makes it clear that s/he wants to be called Mr. or Mrs. That's only happened once, with an older lady friend at the pool -- she wants the kids to call her Mrs. D. If she wasn't great and loving with the kids, I'd think her a bit of an @$$ for it, to be honest. I don't like the idea that respect is conveyed through titles, nor do I like treating kids like a separate class of people.

Proud Anti-Adoption, Atheist, Reproductive-Freedom Fighter Mama
Rylie is 7, Ronin is 3.5
Jessy1019 is offline  
#28 of 137 Old 04-19-2008, 08:26 PM
 
StephandOwen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 8,809
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
As a daycare teacher I have little kids calling me "Miss Stephanie" (or some version of that, depending on their language skills ) nearly every day. I don't mind it. All the teachers at the daycare are "Miss first name". But, as for the comment about treating kids like a seperate class of people- I often call the kids by "Miss first name" or "Mr first name". They think it's funny when I do After DS heard the daycare kids calling me "Miss Stephanie" he started calling me "Miss mama Stephanie" or "Miss Stephanie mama" Fortunately he's back to just "Mama"

There are a few people I ask Owen to call "Miss" or "Mr". His teachers and a couple friends of dp's parents friends. But even I call those friends "Miss first name" and "Mr first name". Everyone, kids and adults alike, do.

Steph, DH Jason (1-1-11), DS Owen (10-3-03) and DS Kai (10-13-11)

StephandOwen is offline  
#29 of 137 Old 04-19-2008, 08:31 PM
 
~Megan~'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Oregon
Posts: 15,295
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I hate it too. Mostly my kids call their friend's parents by "so and so's mom".

Mom of a 7 yr old, 4 yr old, and 1 yr old. Wow. How did that happen?
~Megan~ is offline  
#30 of 137 Old 04-19-2008, 08:33 PM
 
lovesdaffodils's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 1,366
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I hear it a lot where I live, and it was pretty common growing up. I don't make a big deal of it, but I'd prefer to be just called by my first name. I would be a little skeeved by Ms/Mrs Lastname though (too formal for me), and I don't teach DS to do that because, honestly, I don't always know their last names! I'm bad enough with first names. I usually just refer to other adults by their first names with him. Oh, and sometimes I just get called "Ds's Mom" and that's okay too.
lovesdaffodils is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off