3 y/o up past midnight every night - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 13 Old 04-20-2008, 02:56 AM - Thread Starter
 
minkajane's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Columbus, OH
Posts: 5,282
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
3-year-old DS has been fighting sleep like crazy lately. He sleeps in till 10 or later most days, naps from 3-6 or so, then lays in bed awake from 10-12. DF and I have tried skipping the naps so he'll go to bed earlier, but he still lays awake and is super-cranky all day. Same with getting him up earlier.

Part of the reason I think is that I've been sleeping later. Normally, I would get up at 9:30 or so and DS would hear me and get up. I've started working late evenings and sleeping till 10:30 or 11. DF has always been a night owl and would sleep till 2 if I let him. In the past, DS would knock at my door when he woke and I'd get up. Now I think he just goes back to sleep till he hears me get up.

How can I get DS on a more normal sleep schedule without making him insanely cranky for a week?

Mandy, )O(  Proud mommy of Taylor (1/6/05) jammin.gifand Abigail (4/21/11) slinggirl.gif
Loving wife of my gamer boy Michael. modifiedartist.gifBlog link in my profile! ribboncesarean.gif
minkajane is offline  
#2 of 13 Old 04-20-2008, 03:06 AM
 
the_queen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: South Australia
Posts: 261
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'm not sure you can - the thing I was going to suggest will probably make him cranky for a few days.

I would decide what time you want him to get up, and what time you want him to go to bed. Then I'd get him up at that time the next day, I'd have a full day planned with tiring activities and excursions and outings, I'd have a quiet time in the middle of the day (like, lunch at noon and after lunch, then have a rock with mummy in the rocking chair while listening to a story) and if he goes to sleep then, I'd let him sleep for an hour or so. And then he'd go to bed at the time you want him to, but he'll probably need you to lay with him, or put a DVD on for him to watch (I know a lot of people dislike kids watching TV, etc, but I think in a situation like this it does help them stay still, which then means their body is allowed to rest - watching something massively stimulating is obviously a bad idea, it needs to be something quiet, with nice calming music) or just lay in bed with him, reading him a thousand books until he falls asleep.

Good luck - I know what you're going through, and I know the feeling of "oh but he's asleep, I know he should be awake at this time but he's asleep, I should let him sleep, he must need the sleep if he's still asleep now" etc. He has a decent sleep pattern but it's a little out of whack, that's all. Getting him up earlier, consistently, and having a really tiring day, will help his body clock to adjust a little.
the_queen is offline  
#3 of 13 Old 04-20-2008, 06:09 PM
 
LovinDaMamma's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: FL
Posts: 24
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Coming from the same place as you, I have found that the more over tired my dd is, the harder it is for her to get a nap, and get to bed on time. Also, the more active we are in the day, the better she does with sleeping. She requires ALOT of activity, so I leave the house around 10 every day, or at least try to.

Good luck, I am sure you will find a schedule that works best for the both of you.
LovinDaMamma is offline  
#4 of 13 Old 04-20-2008, 06:23 PM
 
Calidris's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Liming in sweet T&T
Posts: 4,130
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Can you shorten the nap? Wake him up early from it?
He may be in a bad mood for a couple days, but it might help.
Or make it earlier.

Spend a few days doing really physical stuff in the evening, running races or something. Make sure he has dinner early.

My DD is up til midnight or later if she naps at all in the afternoon

nothing more to say I guess :
Calidris is offline  
#5 of 13 Old 04-20-2008, 07:03 PM
 
Collinsky's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: On a flat Earth, circled by the Sun
Posts: 2,799
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by minkajane View Post

How can I get DS on a more normal sleep schedule without making him insanely cranky for a week?
Well, for us the normal sleep schedule IS that the kids go to bed at midnight and sleep until 10. So "normal" is relative to what works for your family.I'm not necessarily much help, but sometimes solutions come more easily when we back up from the voice in our head saying, "Good moms have their children in bed before nine PM" "It's unhealthy to be awake until midnight!" and other accepted norms. Letting go of that idea can open you up to what needs to happen.

~ Colleen ~ Joyful Unschooling Pagan mama to hearts.gifenergy.gifsuperhero.gifjog.gif and babyf.gif
"When I'm sad, I stop being sad and be AWESOME instead."
Collinsky is offline  
#6 of 13 Old 04-20-2008, 07:58 PM
 
ShwarmaQueen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Deep in the heart of Texas
Posts: 5,597
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Collinsky View Post
So "normal" is relative to what works for your family.I'm not necessarily much help, but sometimes solutions come more easily when we back up from the voice in our head saying, "Good moms have their children in bed before nine PM" "It's unhealthy to be awake until midnight!" and other accepted norms.
Well said! Kids are so adaptable, if there's a need for them to wake up and go to sleep early than go to that time schedule, but if it's working for your family for the later wake up time and later bed time, than keep it. For us, both being students and full time employees, we keep DD (also 3 yo) up until 10-11pm on weeknights, she wakes up at 6:30 or 7am, and has a 2 hr. nap at preschool! Weekends, we let her stay up with us til she falls asleep! It works great for us, we get to spend more time together. When people gasp at hearing she stays up til 10-11pm AND sleeps with us, I just say people should do what works best for them and not try to "conform" to any standard...ever.:

Momma to DD (12/04) hearts.gif and DS (11/09) hbac.gif.
I survived 16 mos! Ask me about breastfeeding a baby with posterior tongue tie, high palate, and weak oral motor skills- whew!

ShwarmaQueen is offline  
#7 of 13 Old 04-23-2008, 10:53 AM
 
BathrobeGoddess's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: The rural foothills of N Colorado
Posts: 5,582
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
moved to childhood years

Eden yikes.gif, working on a PhD in Education mama to Laurelleshamrocksmile.gif (16), Orijoy.gif (6), Yarrowfaint.gif (4) and Linusfly-by-nursing1.gif (1) partner to Brice. 
BathrobeGoddess is offline  
#8 of 13 Old 04-23-2008, 11:04 AM
 
twilight girl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Costa Rica
Posts: 2,531
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
DD was like this for a long time as a babe/toddler. Really the only thing that changed everything was preschool. Once she started school and had to be up at 6:30 a.m., she started going to bed between 7 and 7:30 p.m.
twilight girl is offline  
#9 of 13 Old 04-23-2008, 11:53 AM
g&a
 
g&a's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: .ab.ca
Posts: 1,565
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
After DD2 was born we were sleeping in as much as we could - you know how it is with a newborn, you take what you can get. DD1 (the 3 1/2) started sleeping in to 10:30 or 11:00 and going to bed after 10. After a while baby and I started getting up earlier and were waiting around for DD1 to get up to do stuff.

We started shifting her bedtime 1/2 hour earler each week until it was when we wanted it. We found that the time she got up naturally shifted with her bedtime. Now we're all in sync again. It really helps to have a bedtime routine to prepare them to go to bed. Don't just expect to be able to say "Bedtime" and have the kid go to sleep.

g/.

Canadian mama to A (C/S May 2004) and R (induced VBAC Dec 2007) expecting #3 in July.  Currently obsessing over permaculture, photography and beekeeping.

g&a is offline  
#10 of 13 Old 04-23-2008, 12:11 PM
 
angela&avery's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2002
Location: new england
Posts: 2,455
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I think if you WANT to change the routine, you will have to just take the bull by the horns and weather the storm.

Its like going on vacation, it is what it is, things are crazy and routines get changed you know?? Plan a crazy busy weekend and just get up and go and if he snoozes in the car on the way home, he snoozes, but get him up for dinner and a bath and back down at a reasonable hour to bed and another busy day all day with fun things to do and by that night to bed, I bet a reasonable hour it will be and get him right up the next morning......

and so on, and just weather the tiredness for a few days......

that is, if you really want to do it.....LOL

OR you could just try waking him 15 minutes earlier every day and putting to bed 15 minutes earlier every day until it gets panned out... and Id shorten the nap too.

I always believed the more they sleep the more they sleep, but it seems that after 3 or so the naps can intervene with that theory and make some late nights, you know?
angela&avery is offline  
#11 of 13 Old 04-23-2008, 12:59 PM
 
Lingmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 669
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I totally agree with the previous posters... In our house, a midnight bedtime couldn't work because my kids need to be out the door by 8am, and they need about 11 hours of sleep (usually 8pm-7am). But if that's not the case for you, either because your son doesn't need that much sleep, or because you don't need to go anywhere in the morning, I wouldn't bother changing anything.

But... if his midnight bedtime is interfering with your work or your private time with your partner or something else, you shouldn't hesitate to change it. Like the others have said, a few days is all it'll take. Just wake him up at 8 or 9am, let him take a short nap around 2, wake him up at three and have lots of stuff to do until 8pm, then a nice bath... some warm milk with honey (or whatever)... a little story... and good night!
Lingmom is offline  
#12 of 13 Old 04-23-2008, 03:30 PM
 
Delma's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 10
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
We have no set routine, midnight not uncommon, but no rush in the morning. We go to the opera and classical concerts and take our son with us. He's nearly four now. Over the last year we have successfully instituted a bedtime, even if we don't keep to it strictly. We recently set the alarm to go off at 8 in the evening, and our son knows it's time to get ready for bed. On occasion we even get into bed at that time. He is just learning to sleep on his own as well, so there is a lot of change, and he seems to be adapting nicely.
I'm not worried because he sleeps ten or eleven hours straight.
Best of luck,
Delma
Delma is offline  
#13 of 13 Old 04-23-2008, 05:01 PM
 
One_Girl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 4,735
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 35 Post(s)
If you want to change the sleep schedule it may take time and he will probably be cranky for a couple weeks. You might try waking up earlier for a few weeks and moving the nap back to right after lunch and napping with him. You could also shorten the amount of time you let him sleep for the nap or just take him out of the house and have him engaged in other things so he doesn't nap. You should also prepare yourself for the grumpiness and schedule in some time for yourself during this transition time if at all possible but don't get discouraged if it takes a while. It may also help to put up some blankets over the windows in the bedroom he sleeps in if the light is what is keeping him up.
One_Girl is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off