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Please tell me what you think of DD's recital costume

4K views 66 replies 52 participants last post by  MommytoTwo 
#1 ·
My DD is 5 and takes beginning tap at a local dance studio, the only one in town. Back in October the notice came out regarding the spring recital. My DDs costume was $48 which is a lot of money for us but we scrapped it together and purchased the costume, sight unseen. The recital is May 18 and the costumes were sent home today. You can see by the picture that it is a very short raincoat and what you can't see is the green bikini underwear that came with it. My DD looked down at herself as she tried it on and said "Are there shorts too?" and when I said no she said "So I am going to be dancing in my underwear on stage?"

I am appalled at how short these costumes are. I feel that they are completely inappropriate for children of this age. I try very hard buy clothing that does not sexualize my girls and now I unknowingly spent too much money on a costume that I feel, does just that. On top of the length issue, vinyl raincoat is so thin that it feels as though the snaps are going to pull right through the "fabric."

I would like to hear others opinions of this costume, as I know many of you have DDs in dance and it is recital season. If others also feel that this costume is unacceptably short, how would you recommend responding? I hate to pull DD out of the recital after she has put in so many hours of practice but the look on her face when she asked about dancing in her "underwear" tells me that the costume makes her feel self conscious which I don't think is healthy at all.

The studio owner is the recital organizer and is not a child-friendly woman. Our DD LOVES dance and our reason for putting our DD is tap was because the tap teacher is a young, fun, college student. I do not know specifically who chose the costumes.

Thank you for your insights.
 
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#28 ·
If she really wants to do the recital, I'd buy her green bike shorts so she won't be self-conscious and you won't have to cringe at the thought of her dancing in just undies and a fugly raincoat.

Underpants are completely different than a leotard.
 
#29 ·
Bike shorts--or those 100% cotton knit shorts that K-mart starts to sell this time of year--probably wouldn't even show under that raincoat and would be a lot more comfortable for your dd. They're very often on sale for under $5.

When I first started teaching--university--one of our students created a music/theater piece in which he asked his performers to wear speedos and bikinis. I was really proud of one of the young women for speaking up for herself and saying she wanted a more modest option. So they found one, that still fit with the piece. My point being, it's good for girls to learn to speak up for themselves and their bodies, and have that honored; and it's likely you can find a compromise, especially if you talk to the actual instructor. There may be other parents with similar concerns.

Or just do it.
 
#30 ·
I think it's cute, but I have a daughter who would happily dance around in the nude in front of a bazillion people. She's not at all modest, and I'm really glad for that.

I would just encourage your daughter to think about all the fun she'll have showing off her dance moves on stage, and talk about how excited you are to see her perform. Of course, if she really doesn't want to do the recital, don't make her . . . but hopefully she'll come around.
 
#31 ·
I pulled my daughter out of our dance recital because of a pink leopard print stripper costume they were going to wear. It was sleezy and tacky and no way in hell was my child going to wear that.

I say you have two choices - pull her or insist that something be worn underneath.

I did go to the director and tell her no way in hell was my child wearing that. They agreed to provide some little skirts but, it was still so trashy and sleezy there was no way.
 
#32 ·
Don't pull her from the dance. You might regret it. Bike pants sound like the way to go. But you don't have to insist or demand, either. Just politely, cheerfully inform the teacher your dd is wearing bike pants. The teacher might not even think twice about it. She might not care. She might say, "Oh, yeah, Cindy's mom did the same thing." Or she might have a hissy fit, and then you'll know who you're dealing with!
 
#34 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by loveandkindness View Post
My DD (4) takes gymnastics and EVERY GIRL in that gym, from the 2-year-olds through the college girls, wears velvet gym shorts over their leotard. Leotards without shorts are considered gross by everyone -- girls, parents, and coaches.
: My dd has spent about 1/3 of her time this winter running around in nothing but a little leotard with a tiny skirt (attached to the leotard) and tights. She's in love with the outift. I don't see a reason to put shorts on her. She's 3!! I guess I don't find a plain leotard offensive.

I don't find the OP's daughter's outfit offensive from a modesty standpoint, but it looks really stupid for a dance recital.
 
#35 ·
I don't think it's sexy at all. I think it would be cuter with black leggings or a skirt though, and am a little surprized it doesn't "come with".

Can you ask what the boy in the class is wearing, and then lobby that they all wear the same thing?

Maybe the teacher doesn't realize how short they are?

Your daughter is cute, too!
 
#36 ·
Why not get a bunch of cheap ribbon & some wide elastic (adult-sized cotton stretchy headbands work great for this, you can usually find them in 3-packs at the dollar store) and make a skirt to go with the costume? cut the ribbon to twice the length you want it, loop it over the elastic, and pull the ends through the loop. continue until you have a floaty fairy tutu. super fast and about $5.
 
#38 ·
It just seems like there is something missing from it. I don't get it...it is so WEIRD looking...

another pro about having boys I guess. DS doesn't have to dress up in sexy outfits...

I would just leave it up to your daughter as whether or not she goes. I like the idea about getting some shorts to go underneath, or trying to get the same outfit that the boy is wearing. Which I am sure is much nicer than that. Geez...$48??!!!

this is a little O/T but I couldn't believe how many little girls in DS's Preschool had "Sexy" Halloween costumes.
It must be tough to be a Mama to a little girl this day in age...so much pressure to sexualize them
 
#39 ·
It's ugly and awfully short; if she's not comfortable wearing it then I would approach the teacher about her wearing some shorts with it. My children are in tumbling and have a recital coming up. Their costume is a light blue t-shirt with the studio name on it and some legging like pants.
 
#41 ·
My dd has been dancing at the same studio for 5 years and although the costumes have not always been what I liked, she didn't mind them. I think if you talk to her dance teacher she may agree w/you and not see it as a big deal if your dd wore bike shorts. My dd's teacher is very approachable and easy to talk to about issues like that. Last year my when the jazz costumes were ordered, they didn't realize until after they came in that they exposed the about 2 inches of the girls' midsection so they suggested we get a flesh colored leotard to cover them. They are very careful about skin being shown and where.
 
#43 ·
I guess I would write to the studio owner, and state that you are not comfortable if they are going to dance in flesh colored tights, but you understand the need for uniformity. So you will take the boy's costume option unless she would like to select additional coverage for the girls. Or something like that.
 
#44 ·
ok well, my dd has been in three recitals, this year is her fourth (one year they did a xmas one at her other school) . The school she goes to now is one of the best in the area, but It is not a "professional school". Her teacher actually said she prefers not to do recitals at age 3,4,5 but that they do them because the parents want them, which I find interesting.. AND she has announced about a million times that no child is required to do the recital and its perfectly fine if they dont want to (which I love
).

All of her costumes were in the $40 to $50 range
Her first costume was blue, with white lace and a leotard, it had a kind overlay skirt that hung like crotch length and they had bonnets.. they did Peter Pan and the girls did the song tender shephard and were supposed to be little shepardesses.. very cute... skimpy, a bit, but still little girl like... no girl is required to wear makeup, we just did a little blush and lipstick so she wouldnt be washed out on stage and we curled her hair... my dd LOVED having her hair and "makeup" done.
For her xmas recital they tapped and wore party dresses, no costume required.
The following spring they did the Wizard of Oz, and the girls were the Lullabye Lee's (?), and wore white dresses (costumes) with a thick pink velvet band around the chest.... very cute, and they were long so that they looked like munchkins too.

THis year at her new school there is no theme, they are doing the song "sunshine on my shoulder" (which makes me want to cry). The moves are beautiful and they are wearing yellow costumes that have a shear material attached at the wrists....... sooooo pretty.... they are leotards, but nothing less than normal........

Personally, the raincoat is not bad, even cute I think , but I would not be comfortable if my child was parading around in a bikini.... I wont even buy her one for the beach. I insist on tankinis or the ones that cover the belly, even though my dd wants one with a "boob thing" as she calls it...

Maybe insist that the coats do not come off?
ETA: what about putting a nude leotard under the bikini?? We had to buy nude leotards in teh case that dd's costume is see through....
 
#46 ·
I only skimmed through the first page of replies so excuse me if this has already been mentioned. But I'm confused as to why so many people seemed to be saying that this is normal attire for a dance recital. Didn't the OP say her dd was wearing a bikini under the raincoat? A full one-piece leotard is one thing, but a bikini is quite another.
: I wouldn't be comfortable with my daughter wearing something like that.

edited to add... OP, maybe the main issue here is that your daughter feels like she'll be "dancing in her underwear". Obviously if during classes they never wore anything like this then she's going to be uncomfortable. I hope you can find a way to deal with this so that your daughter does not have to feel self conscious, but still is able to do what she enjoys.
 
#47 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by jaam View Post
I only skimmed through the first page of replies so excuse me if this has already been mentioned. But I'm confused as to why so many people seemed to be saying that this is normal attire for a dance recital. Didn't the OP say her dd was wearing a bikini under the raincoat? A full one-piece leotard is one thing, but a bikini is quite another.
: I wouldn't be comfortable with my daughter wearing something like that.
It's brief bottoms to match the raincoat is my understanding. If that's the case that's very typical.

-Angela
 
#48 ·
Actually, what I understood from the post was that it was just the coat and bikini-style bottoms, therefor the coat was one piece that did not come off. The coat covers everything to the hip area, and the bottoms cover the rest. Most kids would probably wear a flesh colored leo under everything, at least that is how it was when I was dancing. Honestly, I think the costume is very modest and age aproprate. Much more modest than just wearing a leo like you would in class. With tights even more so. Even flesh colored dance tighs are very thick. If your daughter is uncomfortable with the costume, than by all means help her find a way to make it more comfortable or don't make her participate if she does't want to. I think it would be terrible to not let her participate if she did want to, or to not let her join again next year if it's something she really wanted to do.
 
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