friends children say "Oh my god" all the time... - Page 2 - Mothering Forums
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#31 of 44 Old 10-06-2003, 01:35 PM
 
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quoting Skellbelle:
" Any kid who says it in MY house gets gently corrected by me..."You mean, oh my GOSH." I don't care if their parent is standing right there. Even my kids have begun to correct their friends!"

It would make me very angry to have someone tell my child what they "mean" to say!

On the other hand, I would be fine with something like, "When you are at my house, please say,'Oh my gosh' instead of 'Oh my God".

As for the witch/bitch issue, I don't call someone a witch when I'm unhappy with their behavior-- "witch" has positive conotations to me.

peace,
alsoSarah

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#32 of 44 Old 10-07-2003, 01:09 AM
 
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N2theWoods: I meant exactly what sarah stated in the post before me. By all means talk to me about it-but don't even consider approaching my son about it. I do not feel bad in the slightest for not believing in god,so I am not sure how you interpreted that. I said that I would not have my son approached and be made to feel bad for it. To me,I have done my job by teaching him that it is hurtfull to others to use the expression. It is on the exact same level as using the word witch in a derogatory manner,and anyone who doesn't see that is a huge hypocrite.
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#33 of 44 Old 10-07-2003, 03:47 AM
 
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BCMommy -- Oh, dear you misunderstood me. I never meant to imply that I think you, personally, feel bad for not believing in God. I don't! Am not sure I believe, either, am still exploring that whole arena for myself. I did mention in my post that I was using the universal "you" to try to try to keep my already convoluted post clearer and was not referring to you or any "you" in particular.

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I do not want my child to in any way be made to feel bad about not believing in this god
this is the bit that confused me. To clarify (now that I'm more awake,) my confusion, I just don't understand why anyone could be made to feel bad for not believing in a god when asked by someone who does believe in that god to stop tossing the god's name around casually. I can see that it would make someone feel bad for having offended someone else, but not for not believing in the god. That's all.

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when you tell a child not to say those things it may very well lead to talks of theology that are none of your business.
TOTALLY in 100% agreement with this.

Basically, I think it is a fact that any reference to a religious entity or practice in a derogatory or unthinking way has a huge potential to offend. It sounds to me like you've explained that to your son beautifully.

And actually, now that we're talking along these lines it makes OMG seem so much more ambiguous -- I mean, there's nothing in OMG that implies that one is talking about the Judeo-Christian God, is there? Hmmmm... so if one asked one's friend to stop taking God's name in vain, one's friend could reply "Oh, I was talking about MY god -- his/her name is (whatever their god's name is,)" and then what could one say (I am assuming, of course, that one's friend is absolutely sincere and not just being a brat)?

Hmmm... actually, I think I am getting sleepy again.... I believe I'm nattering on...
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#34 of 44 Old 10-07-2003, 04:01 PM
 
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Oh I like that! It is quite pretentious to assume that it's the god you believe in whos names being taken in vain.
gcgirl likes this.
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#35 of 44 Old 10-07-2003, 04:14 PM - Thread Starter
 
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#36 of 44 Old 10-07-2003, 04:15 PM
 
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Y'all remember that Oreo commercial when the guy pulls out the chocolate oreo and yells "MOM! ... nevermind"??? That is what I think of when someone says OMG or Jesus, I see this very busy supernatural person stopping and waiting for the rest of the message :LOL Now we're not a religious family, this must be left over from my upbringing, but there is no denying that these are Names. It's terribly rude to call someone's name, get their attention and just walk away... This is easily explained to small children, my kids sure get a kick out of it. Cries of "JESUS!" are usually follwed by a quiet "oops, sorry, go back to what you're doing"

~diana

~diana google me: hahamommy. Unschooling Supermama to Hayden :Super Cool Girlfriend to Scotty . Former wife to Mitch & former mama to Hannahbear
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#37 of 44 Old 10-07-2003, 05:11 PM
 
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Cries of "JESUS!" are usually follwed by a quiet "oops, sorry, go back to what you're doing"


I love it!
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#38 of 44 Old 10-12-2003, 10:05 AM
 
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I do not think that there is anything wrong with correcting the child or discussing your feeling with the parent about the language they use in your own home but it IS all about how you say it. I think that if you use humor with the parent, it should work out fine. If it ends your friendship, you may need to look at the friendship instead of what you said.
But as with all things, it is about delivery. You could totally make it funny. Next time she says it, what if you acted like you are going to faint and say something like, "you're burning my ears"!
Or say something funny about being a religious zealot (not that you are but most people find that humor funny) and say that that if she uses that type of languange again, you will be forced to fall on your knees and pray. But keep it light and funny and I think that she will get the point. Whatever you think would work with her.
As for the child, I do not think that there is anything wrong with saying, "Jane, we don't say that in our house. Please choose other words." And end with a smile and a hug! Offer to help her think of other expressive words and you could turn it into a funny game!

What do you think?

Also, I think that this thread went astray. It is not about the merit of your feelings but how to address them so that you do not feel offended.

One more thing...

> Catholic or Christian

Someone said something about not being Catholic or Christian, and i just wanted to throw out there that Catholics are Christians.

Love,
Nicole

Full Time Student Mama with a teenager blahblah.gif  a cool tween Peace.gif a rockin kid jammin.gif a pretty fairy  hearts.gifand a non-stop running machine joy.gif and still shouting about lactivist.gif  intactivist.gif  delayedvax.gif and signcirc1.gif
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#39 of 44 Old 10-13-2003, 02:21 AM
 
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I haven't read all the replies, but wanted to reply myself, as a non-religious person. I admit I use this phrase often, and in my own home have no problem with it. I do, however, try to not say it when I am at work, or am with someone who I don't know very well, because I don't want to possibly offend them. However, I'm sure I do slip all the time, and I'm sure it's possible that ds may pick up the saying from me. I never had anyone explain to me that it may be offensive to others, I just figured it out at some point, so whether or not I address that with him has yet to be seen.

But, regardless of what the phrase is, in the context you described (asking him to wash his hands), the reply was rude. It is like saying "whatever" in a flippant tone. Like I said, I use the OMG phrase a lot, but in the example that you gave it is just rude.

I don't know how I would react if someone asked me not to say that. It would depend. If it was someone I knew well, I would think I already knew not to say it. But if it's a good friend, I would probably tell her that it makes you uncomfortable

My mom used to keep referring to nursing as "having some titty" when ds was born, and it drove me bananas. I constantly asked her to not say that around me. I'm sure plenty of people use that term, and I know that it is my personal preference, but I felt comfortable enough with my mom to ask her to please refrain. She rolled her eyes at me but did eventually stop saying it.
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#40 of 44 Old 10-24-2003, 11:57 PM
 
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I understand how you feel because hearing people say that sends chills up my spine too.You should tell your friend how much this phrase upsets you and the reason that it upsets you.If she is a real friend she will stop saying at least in front of you.After all would you remain silent if she and her children were using profanity?
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#41 of 44 Old 10-25-2003, 12:22 AM
 
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[QUOTE]
My mom used to keep referring to nursing as "having some titty" when ds was born, and it drove me bananas.




Sorry that happened to you Oceanbaby.But Thank your mom for me for the laugh.
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#42 of 44 Old 10-25-2003, 07:31 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by Arduinna
This is the perfect learning example to teach your kids that while it's ok for their friends to say it (because their parents let them) that doesn't mean they can (since you don't).
This is true - you just can't get around the fact that your kids won't be able to do things that others can. It could be a great opportunity to clarify values in a way you might not have done otherwise.

But ... it also seemed that part of the issue was that it was your close friend and her children that are using the phrase. It sounds like you are around them a lot and so I imagine that your relationship has more of a family feel. So your kids hear the phrase a lot and they hear it from people you have a special relationship with. We have a few close friends like this and I know I would want to hear in a heartbeat if I was doing something offensive and I would change it instantly. It would be worth it to me.

Also, I can't imagine she is so attached to the phrase that she wouldn't be willing to give it up. It just might be hard for her kids to stop saying it ... but still, if she doesn't use it and esp. if she substitutes it will make a difference as your kids will notice that.

And just curious - I often say "Good Lord!" - is that offensive to those who don't like OMG as well? I try not to make any reference to Christ or God in my exclamations, but this one slips out pretty often.

Good luck! It will be hard to break the ice but I'm sure it will be worth it.
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#43 of 44 Old 04-20-2014, 12:37 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by joesmom View Post

from adults, but ESPECIALLY from little kids, it just rubs me the wrong way. i think it sounds horrible. joe said it a few times, he heard it on, of all things, trading spaces, nearly every person says it when they see their new room. : i told him how sad hearing him say that made me & he now says oh my gosh. in fact he yells at the tv when he hears someone say it.


as to the OP, i think you are well within your rights to ask that they not use the phrase, not only in your home, but when you are together. if your friend is a real friend she will understand.

i like what skellbelle said:
Any kid who says it in MY house gets gently corrected by me..."You mean, oh my GOSH." I don't care if their parent is standing right there.

that is polite & it should work. good luck!

Well, didn't I used to be a real bitch?!

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#44 of 44 Old 04-20-2014, 11:29 PM
 
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redface.gif Thank you, Joesmom! I thought I was the only one who looked back at my past-self posts with chagrin sometimes. Some of it I don't remember thinking much less typing....I suspect I looked like drink.gif ten years ago while posting.
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