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#1 of 113 Old 06-09-2008, 12:15 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Is it weird that this bothers me? I don't have a daughter, and my stepkids are boys, so it would seem like I wouldn't even notice but for some reason it bugs me to no end to see a little girl wearing anything besides flat shoes.

I saw an adorable little girl today, about 7 years old, in a cute handkerchief hem dress and strappy gold sandles with an inch and a half, maybe two inch heel. For some reason it seems...I don't know, like sexualizing children. I wear heels because they lengthen my legs and lift my backside. Plus all the sexy shoes have a killer heel. I wouldn't want anyone to look at my child and think "sexy" for any reason, even if the reason is her shoes.

I don't know. Maybe I'm reading to much into it or I've fallen behind on kids fashion and heels on 1st graders is okay. Forgive me, I only have boys.

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#2 of 113 Old 06-09-2008, 12:18 PM
 
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I don't think you're weird, it bothers me too. The ONLY purpose of high-heeled shoes is sex appeal, plain and simple. They're terrible for the feet, back, posture, etc., especially for those who are still developing. Why anyobdy would let their little girl wear them is beyond me.

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#3 of 113 Old 06-09-2008, 12:23 PM
 
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This kind of stuff drives me crazy!!!!

I also give dirty looks to the Limited Too store if I'm at the mall.

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#4 of 113 Old 06-09-2008, 12:30 PM
 
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I agree that heels are about sex appeal & I agree that children should not be sexualized, but I also believe in fostering a healthy view of sexuality -- which to me means not puting my own inhibitions on my daughter: she deserves to grow up knowing that women have the power to decide just how sexy or unsexy they want to be.... My daughter knows that heels are not safe for playing in & as such she is not allowed to wear them at any other time besides dress-up. We don't use the word "sexy" in my home, though. I get that message across by providing her with the example that I only wear makeup & heels for fancy dates with Daddy. I also get that message across by not badmouthing other little girls whose parents allow heeled shoes. In our house, it's not about sex, it's about safety & practicality.
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#5 of 113 Old 06-09-2008, 12:34 PM
 
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I also give dirty looks to the Limited Too store if I'm at the mall.
ROFL



I don't wear heels, so my DD never wanted to play in them. But I don't have issue with little girls wearing them for play or dress up, it's when I see them on little girls as normal wear that bothers me.

I think it's inappropriate to have high heeled shoes for kids, it makes it so easy for them to fall and hurt themselves.
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#6 of 113 Old 06-09-2008, 12:58 PM
 
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I don't wear heels, so my DD never wanted to play in them. But I don't have issue with little girls wearing them for play or dress up, it's when I see them on little girls as normal wear that bothers me.

I think it's inappropriate to have high heeled shoes for kids, it makes it so easy for them to fall and hurt themselves.
:

My daughter loves to try on my shoes, flats or the heels that have been collecting dust in my closet since she was born. But I think it is dangerous for her to wear anything like that outside of the house - she falls enough in sneakers! Not to mention it brings up serious concerns about spinal health in a still-developing little body.

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#7 of 113 Old 06-09-2008, 01:03 PM
 
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I completely " get" the dress up reasoning... I do cringe though when we are at the playground and I see little girls 4 and up in wedge sandles and heeled boots and shoes trying to play on the playground. It is just so impractical that the kids can't even play!!!It seems so foolish to me... I do have two boys though. I haven't been there, so maybe I am just not getting it?!

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#8 of 113 Old 06-09-2008, 01:03 PM
 
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I don't (can't, really) wear heels, and my girls are both obsessed with the dress-up heels at a friend's house. I wouldn't buy them a pair of real ones to wear, but that's also partly because we're not a graceful family.
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#9 of 113 Old 06-09-2008, 01:14 PM
 
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I don't (can't, really) wear heels, and my girls are both obsessed with the dress-up heels at a friend's house. I wouldn't buy them a pair of real ones to wear, but that's also partly because we're not a graceful family.
I can NOT wear heels either, unless I want to break an ankle. I don't like heels on children, the sandals with the large wedge heels drive me nuts. I saw some the other day in a toddler size 5. : :

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#10 of 113 Old 06-09-2008, 01:15 PM
 
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I have two girls, 7 and 3. They wear heels for dress up and heeled boots on horses.

One kid I know wore a tutu pretty much everywhere for years (I love her sense of herself!)

Personally, I find it harder to see little boys in stiff jeans, buzzed hair and hard shoes, dressed as "little men," than I do little girls dressed in handkerchief dresses and strappy shoes. Those grown up clothes look so uncomfortable on the little boys. But I guess it's all pretty much the same thing.

Since I don't know if it's the kids' choice or the parents' imposition, I don't really spend anytime being bugged by it.
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#11 of 113 Old 06-09-2008, 01:18 PM
 
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Good I'm not the only one. My 9yo daughter and I just went through this a few months ago. She needed shoes for a wedding we were going to, she can wear a women’s size 4-5. She found the perfect pair of heels but they were way to sexy for my liking. At first I thought it was because they were heels and that’s what made them sexy looking. Then I realized that she had a pair of thongs that had a heel and they didn't bother me, so I guess it was that they were obviously women’s shoes, I don't know. But that was fun trying to explain to her that some heels were ok and others weren't. By that time she was really set on a pair of heels. We finally compromised on a child’s shoe that had a fat heel. They didn't seem so sexy for some reason. It was a big argument and I almost posted over it, she wanted me to get a consensus from y'all. She thought she would prove me wrong.
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#12 of 113 Old 06-09-2008, 01:28 PM
 
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See, I don't think you're weird. And I'm a total high-heel shoe freak, the higher, the better!

However, I'm an adult. And, my body is done developing and growing. The thing that concerns me most about little girls in heels is the fact that they can severely damage their still-growing hips, knees, ankles, backs, etc.

Dress-up is one thing. My daughter and niece love to play in my vast collection of shoes while wearing my bathrobes and dresses. No big. But when you look at their feet, they're small enough that almost the entirety of their foot rests flat in the toe box: they aren't even on an incline in the heel.

Little heels made for little girls for daily wear just disturbs me. I see them frequently and it always creeps me out, seeing a little girl 4 years old at the playground, barely able to walk properly, let alone play, because of the 2 inch heels on her feet.
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#13 of 113 Old 06-09-2008, 01:42 PM
 
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I have a problem with it too. Whatever happened to heels being kind of a right of passage so to speak? When I turned 13 my mom made a big deal of taking me out shopping for my first pair of kitten heels. It was like I was growing up. I went shopping for a pair of sandels for my DD (2.5 yr) and all I could find that was somewhat cute and wide enough in the toes had about an inch heel and I find that to be ridiculous.

Of course I have a huge problem with dressing little girls in 'sexy' bikinis, dresses, and the like too.

My bff has a little girl (4 yr) and she lets her wear heels all the time (2-2.5 in). I think she is a responsible parent and we just have different views.

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#14 of 113 Old 06-09-2008, 01:53 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I have a problem with it too. Whatever happened to heels being kind of a right of passage so to speak?
Besides the shoes being potentially dangerous, I think that part of the reason that I don't like kids in heels is "the rite of passage". It's one less thing for a little girl to look forward to.

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#15 of 113 Old 06-09-2008, 01:54 PM
 
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I think high heels for kids are terrible, but not because they're too sexy. It's just that heels are uncomfortable, and bad for your feet and legs and back, and limit your abililty to walk and run. I think adults should refuse to wear them, too.
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#16 of 113 Old 06-09-2008, 02:00 PM
 
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I'm unfamiliar with high heels being a rite of passage. I wear a small pump when I need to dress up. As I said, my kids wear heels on their paddock boots.

I don't see a need for adult women to wear high heels except in a "dress up" capacity.

I'm curious if the moms who object to girls looking like "little women" have the same response I do to seeing boys being dressed as "little men?"
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#17 of 113 Old 06-09-2008, 02:06 PM
 
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I'm unfamiliar with high heels being a rite of passage. I wear a small pump when I need to dress up. As I said, my kids wear heels on their paddock boots.

I don't see a need for adult women to wear high heels except in a "dress up" capacity.

I'm curious if the moms who object to girls looking like "little women" have the same response I do to seeing boys being dressed as "little men?"
Ok, first, I think heels on a paddock boot is a different thing altogether - I know nothing about riding, but I am assuming that they have a purpose and/or this is the only way those boots are made? (ETA: I am also assuming that we are not talking stilletos, here...)

Anyway, yes, I object to any children being dressed up to look like adults. For me this includes ties for little boys and finger nail polish, makeup, and heels for little girls (outside of costumes/dress up, but even then I would be cautious about make-up and nail polish). One, it all looks uncomfortable, and, two, they all have enough time to be grown-ups, and childhood is so short and so finite, I just want them to be able to enjoy it, be comfortable, and PLAY!!

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#18 of 113 Old 06-09-2008, 02:11 PM
 
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Dena, yes, the heel on the boots is to help keep your foot in the saddle.

I don't understand heels as a rite of passage. They just seem like a preference thing to me. I can't imagine wearing high heels in some sort of earnest way. But I'm assuming some people like them since they sell them at the store.

Aren't grown-ups wearing them as "dress up?"

If folks are making their kids wear them to the park, that seems silly. But if the kids are playing around with it, I'm not sure I understand the difference between that and dress up.
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#19 of 113 Old 06-09-2008, 02:11 PM
 
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i used to let my hang ups affect my kids clothing (read girls wear shirts) and i realized that they toatlaly pick up on our hang ups. if you feel it is wrong because it is too sexy then they are going to carry that forever. let them be. my kids like to play with the dress up shoes and i would secretly dislike it, but now it seems ridiculous. i wont let them have heeled shoes because they would get hurt playing in them but wearing play ones around the house seems ok. when they have top be part of a wedding next summer they could wear them if they want. they are just dress up. sexy would be stilettos or something.

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#20 of 113 Old 06-09-2008, 02:22 PM
 
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Heels on little girls used to bother me a lot too...until my second daughter, who's almost 3, developed some amazingly strong clothing preferences. For the past three months, she has refused to wear anything but dresses, and they have to be certain kinds of dresses at that (can't be knit, have to button up the back with a ribbon to tie, have to have a certain amount of flounce, have to be a floral print) -- she refuses, to the point of screaming tantrums, to wear anything else. She also refuses to wear sneakers or Croc-type shoes (which are our summer standard). She wore the same pair of pink Mary Janes for months; when they finally fell apart I took her to Target to find some new shoes, and she got fixated on an awful pair of plastic high-heeled flip-flops. They were sparkly and purple and she wanted them desparately -- but they also looked really uncomfortable and impractical, to me. But I let her try them on, and it's only because she realized that she couldn't walk in them that she agreed on another pair (some ballerina flats, in floral print, of course!).

Anyway, my point is -- I judge less now. I don't think that every little girl in high-heeled sandals is as strong-willed about clothes as my daughter is, and I'm sure that some moms buy those shoes because they meet some weird standard of "adorable" that I don't agree with. But some kids may have on impractical shoes because their parents didn't want to deal with a huge screaming tantrum while trying to get out the door. You just never know.
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#21 of 113 Old 06-09-2008, 02:54 PM
 
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Ds1 dresses like a little man a lot. He loves polo shirts and dress pants and thinks a buzz cut is the best haircut. The other half of his time is naked.

The heels bother especially when I see a two year old in a mini skirt, halter top and heels. The short dress shoes are cute. It makes me uncomfortable since I want children to focus on having fun.
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#22 of 113 Old 06-09-2008, 02:59 PM
 
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Another mom of all boys chiming in here, so take my opinionf or what it's worth. I agree, it drives me BONKERS to see little girls in heels. It's so bad for the feet, first of all - why the heck would you put your growing child's foot in something that is bad for the feet?! Besides, kids are meant to play, and it's not easy to run and play in heels.
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#23 of 113 Old 06-09-2008, 03:05 PM
 
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I completely " get" the dress up reasoning... I do cringe though when we are at the playground and I see little girls 4 and up in wedge sandles and heeled boots and shoes trying to play on the playground. It is just so impractical that the kids can't even play!!!It seems so foolish to me... I do have two boys though. I haven't been there, so maybe I am just not getting it?!
Exact same here!
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#24 of 113 Old 06-09-2008, 03:14 PM
 
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Totally gross. I'm with you.

I am all about sending my kid to the park in a tutu, because it doesn't restrict her movement or prevent her from playing. Anything goes playing dress-up around the house. But clothes and shoes that prevent playing (special occasions excepted) are so not cool. That goes for boys too -- I've seen these shoes that feel like concrete, and I wonder how much fun that is for little boys to run and play in.
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#25 of 113 Old 06-09-2008, 03:16 PM
 
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I guess I'm really not getting moms of boys picking on little girls' clothes and feeling entitled to an opinion on them. It's not like they are public property.

When I see it out in public, I don't feel like I know whether the kids are picking them to play with.....so I wouldn't think to judge it.
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#26 of 113 Old 06-09-2008, 03:51 PM
 
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Drives me batty. Especially when I see a twig thin ankle bending and the poor kid falling or nearly falling because someone thinks it's cute to put them in grown-up shoes.

Of course, I've also noticed it's usually someone who wears heels with everything, whether appropriate or not, who lets their child stumble around like this. I've actually seen women wearing fancy dress shoes with overalls before.

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#27 of 113 Old 06-09-2008, 04:13 PM
 
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I am a tomboy and a geek. I wear no shoes at all and if I must I wear sandals or sneakers. I think I own 1 pair if heels that are hidden in the back of my closet somewhere. My oldest DD is a princess. I dressed her in hippy patchwork and pants when she was a baby cause thats what I thought was comfy and cute. She started picking out her own clothes around 2 years of age and she has progressed to almost all dresses and skirts; preferably frilly, pink and as girly as possible. Not my style at all. Her current favorite pair of shoes is high heeled and black and very very girly. I try not to be too imposing on clothes, but I do insist she wear clothes outside the house, shorts or stockings if the skirt is too short, a shirt underneath if its cut too low, and she can't wear heels to play.

Am I a bad mom? Am I imposing my shoe fetish on my daughter? Am I sexualizing her? The answer to all of those is NO.

Just because I choose to be leniant and allow her to wear her favorite pair of shoes to school and avoid huge meltdowns (she is very sensitive about clothes and has often worn the same darn thing for weeks) does not mean I or she is bad in anyway. Yes I know they are bad for her posture, yes I know she can't play as easily in them. I choose to allow her to wear them occasionally. Judge me all you want.
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#28 of 113 Old 06-09-2008, 05:06 PM
 
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I agree that shoes with heels are totally inappropriate for little girls. HOWEVER, as the mom of children with BIG feet (ds is 7 and is currently wearing adult size 4-5 - i.e. women's size 5, dd is 4 and wearing toddlers size 11 1/2 or 12), do know it's hard to find shoes sometimes that are age appropriate!

Dd has a pair of mary janes that have about a one inch heel. I've hidden them because she was not able to run and play in them as I liked. She loved them. I bought them on e-bay and so didn't notice the heel, but then went to Target and noticed that ALL the shoes in size 11-12 have that heel. 1" isn't huge, but it's too big, IMO. AND they sell shoes with even higher heels for her size :

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#29 of 113 Old 06-09-2008, 05:22 PM
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They're lousy for foot development and posture. I definitely won't be getting my little gal heels.
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#30 of 113 Old 06-09-2008, 05:34 PM
 
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I can NOT wear heels either, unless I want to break an ankle. I don't like heels on children, the sandals with the large wedge heels drive me nuts. I saw some the other day in a toddler size 5. : :
I agree and it drives me batty. DD is 4 and I have such a hard time finding cute sandals and dress shoes for her because everything around here has a kitten heel on it.... That just does not work for me. She is too young for such things. I have no problem with her playing dress up at home with heels but I see some of the girls up at the grade school wearing mules with 2 in kitten heels and I just cringe.
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