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#1 of 73 Old 06-10-2008, 02:39 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Okay. On another (mainstream) site, there was some discussion about a father taking a little girl to a public bathroom. Everyone agreed that they should go to the stall and maybe cover the girl's eyes until they got in, and if the dad has to go, she stands outside the stall but facing the door . . . one dad would put a handkerchief over her head. Apparently there is an issue here that never crossed my mind. Dh takes our 3.5 yo to public bathrooms regularly and has never expressed any concern to me. He even took her to swimming lessons last winter and they changed in the men's locker room. I'm a little confused as to who they are trying to protect here. Or what the harm would be in a little girl seeing a man urinate. Am I crazy? Call it as you see it.

(This on the day dd and I were looking at an anatomy book and she said something about a penis so I said, "Want to see a picture of a penis? Looks like it's on page 514 . . ."):
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#2 of 73 Old 06-10-2008, 02:47 AM
 
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wow, I didn't think it was such a big deal either. i think covering their eyes or making them turn the other direction makes a bigger deal out of it. that's why i love family washrooms...but come to think of it, i've never seen a "dad" in a family washroom....i actually don't really get gender washrooms anyway.
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#3 of 73 Old 06-10-2008, 02:47 AM
 
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I think those other people are off their rockers. Dh takes dd to the bathroom all the time (she's nearly 4 for the record...)

But I have no issues with nudity. We all see it all around here. I'd be fine with unisex bathrooms personally.

-Angela
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#4 of 73 Old 06-10-2008, 02:47 AM
 
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OMG!!!!! Dad has a penis and uses it to pee how harming.
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#5 of 73 Old 06-10-2008, 02:53 AM
 
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Maybe they think they guys urinating would be uncomfortable with a small girl in the restroom. I know that I don't like it when I'm in a public restroom doing my thing and some strange little boy sticks his head under the wall to my stall. It's happened a couple times. It's not that I think they'll see something, I just think it's rude and an invasion of privacy.

ETA: I wouldn't like it if a little girl stuck their head in my stall either, it's just that it hasn't happened.
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#6 of 73 Old 06-10-2008, 02:57 AM
 
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I think as long as the parent is with the child, it doesn't matter. If someone else has a problem with it, then the problem is with them.
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#7 of 73 Old 06-10-2008, 03:40 AM
 
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I don't think it's a big deal at all. As a PP said, I think that the bigger issue is a man feeling uncomfortable with a small girl seeing him. In any case, DH has taken our daughters into the men's room many times.

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#8 of 73 Old 06-10-2008, 04:13 AM
 
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DH takes our DDs (almost 5 yr and 2 yr) into public bathrooms, I don't think its a big deal at all. Although DH was a little embarrassed after swimming lessons when DD2 would inform the men in the locker room, while pointing, that they each had a penis!
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#9 of 73 Old 06-10-2008, 06:42 AM
 
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I don't see anymore of a problem with it as a mom taking their son into the bathroom (which I do regularly).
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#10 of 73 Old 06-10-2008, 07:03 AM
 
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This weekend at the campgrounds there was a man in the ladies bathroom with his little girl. Not just bathroom stalls, but a shower area too, with a common locker room!
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#11 of 73 Old 06-10-2008, 09:49 AM
 
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That's bizarre. My husband takes our daughter to the men's room. I don't think it's ever been an issue for anyone.
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#12 of 73 Old 06-10-2008, 10:38 AM
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DH takes dd, 2 into the men's room all the time.

However, I think the issue arrises that men using urinals may be a little shocked and uncomfortable to see an older girl-child come into the bathroom while they have it all hanging out, so to speak.
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#13 of 73 Old 06-10-2008, 11:42 AM
 
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We don't think it's a big deal at all. Sometimes my daughter (5.5) wants to use the bathroom with daddy, sometimes she wants me to go with her (ok, if daddy's around, chances are she wants to go with him ). In some places, she can go by herself and sometimes she uses the men's and sometimes the women's. It's just not a big deal to us. She sees her dad pee at home, she knows what penises look like, and she's not going to be freaked out if she sees a man peeing in a public restroom.

These things are only a big deal if you make them one!

Personally, I'm all for unisex restrooms . . . I don't get why, as a girl, I shouldn't pee in the same facility that a guy uses.

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#14 of 73 Old 06-10-2008, 11:55 AM
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Originally Posted by Jessy1019 View Post

Personally, I'm all for unisex restrooms . . . I don't get why, as a girl, I shouldn't pee in the same facility that a guy uses.
Count your blessings. Men smell.
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#15 of 73 Old 06-10-2008, 11:58 AM
 
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This is why I am so glad that most new built public spaces have a family or unisex bathroom Not that I or DH mind DD going with him, which she does regularly, but because on a societal level it is such a big deal! And, eventually when DS and DD don't feel comfortable going with us to the opposite sex bathroom, they can go with us, or by themselves into a family bathroom that is usually just one toilet with a locking door (or two toilets-- one little and one big!)

My DD has spent the last 2 years or so going swimming with grandpa once a week. They change in the family locker rooms, which are 5 big rooms with individually locking doors and changing tables. Lockers and showers in a common area that opens onto the pool deck, so you shower in your suit, grab your bag and dress in the locked room. Anyway, this was only a problem for a short period of time when we learned that I was expecting DS, a boy, who would have a penis. DD delighted in telling everyone what sort of genitalia they had, so she would point and shout to fully clothed people "You have a penis! My baby brother will have a penis too!" So, in the changing room with grandpa for two or three weeks, she would shout, "Grandpa! You have a penis! I have a vagina! My baby brother will have a penis!" etc. My poor FIL would come home so embarrased!

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#16 of 73 Old 06-10-2008, 12:01 PM
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Oh, and talk about some awesome family bathrooms! We were in the Natick Mall, (excuse me, NATICK COLLECTION, GAG) a few months ago. IT was a normal shopping mall until they changed it up a few years ago with all high end stores and expensive luxury condos.

Anyhow, the bathrooms were AMAZING....beautiful fixtures, velvet couches, etc.

And they had these HUGE family bathrooms. With one big toilet and one little toilet. It was adorable


They also had nursing/mothers rooms independent of the bathrooms
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#17 of 73 Old 06-10-2008, 12:02 PM
 
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Count your blessings. Men smell.
Do they have cooties, too?

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#18 of 73 Old 06-10-2008, 12:02 PM
 
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DH takes DD (4 next week!) to the public restroom all the time. Usually, he's the only one who'll take her, for two reasons:
1. She wants Dad to take her
2. The baby is going through some seperation anxiety with me, so I stay with her while DD1 goes potty

We have actually had family members bring it up to us, because it never occurred to us before that we were somehow harming our child by letting her pee. It just isn't an issue for us.

And so far, we've never had a guy feel uncomfortable with DD walking in. Usually, when she decides to finally pee, she's had to go for a while and she flat-out RUNS to the stall. Not to mention, it's fairly kid-friendly around here, and not odd at all to see little boys in the women's room/little girls in the men's room. It just isn't a big deal.

And putting a handkerchief over a girl's head so as not to see her father peeing?! That's a bit disturbing, actually. I'm sorry, the women on that other board are, frankly, nuts. They're creating something sexual and perverted out of a normal biological function.
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#19 of 73 Old 06-10-2008, 12:04 PM
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Do they have cooties, too?
Have you ever been in a men's bathroom when men are doing their business?

It is absolutely horrifying. The gastronomical noises...the grunts, the groans....the...moving air

The splashing, the farting, the popping. The PLONKING.

And the smell is enough to make your eyes bleed.

I'd rather poop among ladies
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#20 of 73 Old 06-10-2008, 12:06 PM
 
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DD delighted in telling everyone what sort of genitalia they had, so she would point and shout to fully clothed people "You have a penis! My baby brother will have a penis too!" So, in the changing room with grandpa for two or three weeks, she would shout, "Grandpa! You have a penis! I have a vagina! My baby brother will have a penis!" etc. My poor FIL would come home so embarrased!
laughup The thought of this happening to my dad makes this even more funny!

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#21 of 73 Old 06-10-2008, 12:06 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Jessy1019 View Post
Personally, I'm all for unisex restrooms . . . I don't get why, as a girl, I shouldn't pee in the same facility that a guy uses.
Well, squatting over those urinals can be a bit tricky...

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#22 of 73 Old 06-10-2008, 12:23 PM
 
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Count your blessings. Men smell.
Women do too... both bathrooms smell when not clean...

-Angela
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#23 of 73 Old 06-10-2008, 12:44 PM
 
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These things are only a big deal if you make them one!

Personally, I'm all for unisex restrooms . . . I don't get why, as a girl, I shouldn't pee in the same facility that a guy uses.

Cuz they sprinkle when they tinkle. After cleaning many a men's room.... ewwww. Women are gross too, but they don't USUALLY pee ALL OVER the seat, and the floor next to the toilet.

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#24 of 73 Old 06-10-2008, 12:52 PM
 
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Cuz they sprinkle when they tinkle. After cleaning many a men's room.... ewwww. Women are gross too, but they don't USUALLY pee ALL OVER the seat, and the floor next to the toilet.
LOL I beg to differ. I have encountered many stall used by a very sloppy 'hover-er' who managed to pee EVERYWHERE. I never understood the logic: if one is hovering to avoid someone else's pee, wouldn't one at least clean up your own after one had doused the entire stall?
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#25 of 73 Old 06-10-2008, 12:52 PM
 
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I think if a girl is young enough to need help in the bathroom she is too young for the nudity to be a problem.
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#26 of 73 Old 06-10-2008, 12:54 PM
 
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LOL I beg to differ. I have encountered many stall used by a very sloppy 'hover-er' who managed to pee EVERYWHERE. I never understood the logic: if one is hovering to avoid someone else's pee, wouldn't one at least clean up your own after one had doused the entire stall?
I've encountered this only OCCASIONALLY in a women's room, but EVERY TIME in a men's room.

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#27 of 73 Old 06-10-2008, 01:10 PM
 
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That's just ridiculous. Actually, I want to say something less pleasant about it, but I'm sure it violates the UA.

A HANKERCHIEF? People have got some seriously big hang ups.

Oh, and I'm sorry about the kids trying to peek under the stall. Even the 6 year old tries to do it. It is very embarassing. Thankfully most people just seem to laugh when they hear me saying, "Oh for God's sakes don't try and get into other stalls. Get back up!" They think it is very funny. The fact that a few people have laughed about it (as I probably would) has just added to the charm.
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#28 of 73 Old 06-10-2008, 01:15 PM
 
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My husband covers our girls eyes if he has to take them into the bathroom. We're fine with nudity, it's not a huge issue here but, it's also family. I think having little girls walk into a restroom to a line of random men with their penises out peeing is a bit much.

But, it's not something I ever even though of or something the girls ever brought up, it's something DH does because it bothers him. The thought of his little girls seeing a line of men peeing bothers him so his comfort dictates he cover their eyes.

I don't know that I see a huge issue either way.

Hell, I'm just glad that DH will even take the girls to the bathroom every once in a while so I can eat an entire meal without having to get up so if that means a hand over the eyes for the 5 seconds it takes to get in a stall then I'm ok with that. And ultimately, I just think it teaches kids a lesson about privacy. That when we go potty, it's private. We don't look at strangers and they don't look at us. Is that such a bad message?
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#29 of 73 Old 06-10-2008, 01:47 PM
 
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Let us bear in mind the intense scrutiny men go under nowadays with the child pornography and incest and molestation things in the media and whatnot. Men are perpetrators until proved otherwise. By covering her eyes, you eliminate any chance she was 'sexualized' by the experience, that she'll go home and say something about a strangers penis or that daddy took me into a room full of men with their pants down or any other innocent comments that could be taken another way.

It's not something I would ask my husband to do, but we live in a culture of fear so I VERY MUCH understand why these dads feel this way.

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#30 of 73 Old 06-10-2008, 01:49 PM
 
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Cuz they sprinkle when they tinkle. After cleaning many a men's room.... ewwww. Women are gross too, but they don't USUALLY pee ALL OVER the seat, and the floor next to the toilet.

Wouldn't the men use urinals, though?

Dh takes dd (6) into the men's bathroom if they're out and about together. He takes the kids out without me all the time. He has since they were babies. What choice does he have other than to take dd into the men's with him? I should add that most of the places we go have a one-toilet bathroom, so you wait your turn to go in. He has taken them to movies and the mall a few times, so they have been in the larger bathrooms too.

I was at a sports event in the Netherlands several years ago. Imagine my surprise when I walked into the bathroom and there was a line of urinals packed with men along one wall, and stalls with doors on the opposite wall! It wasn't a big deal to people there. It wasn't a big deal to me either. It wasn't dirty or smelly at all. They also had these outdoor urinals in Amsterdam. I thought that was pretty crazy. Only for men, though. That was a bit unfair!
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