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I don't know if this is the right spot for this. My oldest son is 10, I don't really consider him a pre-teen but I could be wrong. Mods, please move this if so.
My issue is this...he is the sweetest, kindest hearted, good natured kid I know BUT he forgets everything and has some genuinely *dumb* moments, I mean things that leave me shaking my head. In addition to this, he was caught lying about school/homework. He hasn't been doing classwork and hiding homework. Luckily, he has a pro-active teacher and we were able to keep on top of him but it's like he didn't think we would find out he wasn't passing. His excuse was "he doesn't get it" but I know better. I know it's just that he didn't want to.
In addition to this, he can't remember anything. I can ask him to complete a small task like taking out the garbage and he forgets what he's doing half way through. Everything is "I forgot". Everyday things like don't leave your socks on the floor when you take them off or don't leave your clothes in the bathroom really throw him. When I remind him, he looks at me like I am speaking a foreign language or possibly sprouted a third eye.
Then, the worst part are the "moments of stupidity". I know this sounds bad but let me give some examples...
A few weeks ago, he had a staph infection on his armpit. I sent him to stay with my mom so my babies didn't get it. She went and bought spray on deodorant since him and my brother get theirs mixed and we didn't want any cross contamination. My son, bless his heart, sprayed the deodorant on the outside of his shirt (black t shirt, mind you) because he didn't want it to sting his armpit. Another example, my moms house has a lake and he fishes out there all the time and leaves the pole out. He happened to be getting out of the shower when she yelled for him to get the pole up out of the yard. He proceeds to get about halfway out the backdoor with nothing but a towel and his birthday suit on before he heard me tell him to get dressed first. He was going to walk outside, dripping wet, little butt cheek hanging out of his towel to get the pole.
Today, he went to the bathroom and apparently was out of tp so rather than ask me to get him some, he decided to use the disposable baby washcloths that I keep by the tub. He used 4 of them and caused an overflow but since the soap is built in, I ended up with a bathroom floor covered in bubbles....
So, having said all of that, my question is this....Is this normal or do I need to be looking for markers of ADD possibly? It does run on his fathers side but I don't want to pursue that route if this isn't anything more than "boys being boys"
Mara, mama to two boys born 05/2009 and 04/2011, after four miscarriages.
Staph infection on his armpit and you wanted him to still wear deodorant? I don't blame him for thinking that would sting!
This sounds like completely normal 10-yo processing.
One of my Girl Scouts, who just turned 11, is much like this and has been for the several years I've known her--particularly the forgetfulness. She's very bright, and I think sometimes she's wrapped up in thinking about something very interesting but entirely unrelated to what she's doing. She needs more support and reminders than many of the younger girls:
One of my Girl Scouts, who just turned 11, is much like this and has been for the several years I've known her--particularly the forgetfulness. She's very bright, and I think sometimes she's wrapped up in thinking about something very interesting but entirely unrelated to what she's doing. She needs more support and reminders than many of the younger girls: "Do you have your permission slip? Don't forget your jacket! What happened to your buddy? Look out for your backpack in the middle of the floor there! Is that your brain under the couch?" Just kidding about that last one.... She'll set down an object and ten seconds later have no idea where it is, even if it's quite visible--she's capable of looking right through her large and brightly-colored backpack with her name on it--or forget that she even brought it with her. When she's doing a task she's not very enthusiastic about, big chunks of it go undone, needed supplies get lost in plain sight, and if we're not constantly reminding her what she's doing she'll just sort of wander away, not necessarily to another obvious activity but just to stare into space. When I tell her to do something she'd rather not, remind her to finish, or ask if she's done her part, often she'll look away or pretend she didn't hear, and a couple times she's actually lied about things being done.
All this is very irritating! Yet she's capable of amazing things when she's interested. I don't think there is anything clinically wrong with her. She's just less "noticing" and "helpful" than some people and sort of "lazy" about putting effort into things that don't really grab her. It's her personality.
Does your son read much? This girl is a big reader, and I've found that written instructions, checklists, and reminder notes taped onto things work well with her. Saying, "Close the door!" every time she walks in or out of the camp lodge will get her to close the door 50% of the time and look back saying, "Huh? Why are you yelling my name?" another 25%. Sticking "Close the door!" signs on both sides of the door will get her to close it 90% of the time. Yammering, "It's 20 degrees out there with snow on the ground! Don't you understand we need the door closed?!" gets nothing but a blank look--she is impervious to cold.
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