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Old 06-12-2008, 07:14 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My five year old just started this day camp through parks and rec. We are homeschoolers, but he has been in preschool and never had a problem with accidents or intentionally peeing in the wrong place, like he has done at this camp.
The first day he peed in the park instead of the bathroom. This I could understand because I've always let him pee on a tree if he can't wait or there is no bathroom around. I was thinking he was confused about where to go and who to ask. The next day he peed in his pants. We talked to him about where to go and so forth. Well today he peed ON another kid in the bathroom.
This is my middle child. Never had any problems with my oldest and both of them potty trained just fine at three. This boy, I must say, has been the more difficult of the three. He was an awesome baby, we had a beautiful home birth, he nursed until 2 1/2, but he has had problems with his speech and is nowhere near where his eight y/o brother is emotionally or intellectually. I'm trying not to compare, but it's tough, esp. when stuff like this happens. He's very strong willed and has a hard time focusing, full of energy--your typical ADHD I'm sure would be the diagnosis were he in school. Thank god we're not. Anyway, any ideas? I'm wondering if he just really doesn't like this camp. It's run by college students so maybe he's feeling like he's not very supervised and can be a little jungle boy. I've always thought that urination problems were the result of sexual abuse, but I know that he has not been abused by me or his dad and I really don't think it's happened by anyone else and this has never ever been a problem before, but it's so embarassing. I think we're going to take him out. What should we do?? I'm worried there's something seriously wrong with him. He's already such a challenging boy and so different from my otheres. Help!!!!
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Old 06-12-2008, 07:21 PM
 
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NO advice. Just a hug. Although my son intentionally peed on things, in things around age 5. But, did not have long standing urination problems or pee in his pants- though now that I am thinking about it he wet his bed until 8. Why do you worry about sexual abuse? It is a phobia you worry about for safety's sake for all your kids or an intuition that something has happened to him?
Michelle
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Old 06-13-2008, 03:36 AM
 
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Don't go down the abuse road yet. I understand the embarrassment, ds had this period when he was four when he would pee on stuff--my bed, the basket of balls, the corner, the tray in the easel. I was so freaked out, and the doctor was recommending therapy (way aggressive) until finally he admitted that "it's boring to always have to pee in the potty" we got him some fruit loops to put in and aim at and it was over...until he was five and started peeing all over the place at school (in the bathroom, on the toilet paper). That was a mortifying parent teacher meeting! We just talked him out of it gently, kept him home for a bit and reminded him that it's not fair to make a mess of a public place, had him write an apology to his teacher. I think it's something like the inclination to shoot far when you're watering plants with a hose, just because you can. Don't worry unless it's accompanied by other behavior that's out of character for him.

He's 8 now, and pees where appropriate always. Peeing his pants could be the result of not wanting to interrupt fun--who of us has not pushed it dangerously close so as not to stop what we're doing ?!
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Old 06-13-2008, 04:18 AM
 
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Was the peeing on the other kid intentional?

My boys occasionally pee on each other, but it's more because they like to use the bathroom together right now and if one starts chattering and by habit turns to look at the other...well....

So the peeing on the other kid thing was probably (hopefully) unintentional.

Does he like going to camp? One of the consequences for not paying attention to this is sometimes the camps will kick a kid out. (especially if they're not licensed to deal with un-potty trained/unassisted kids.) So if that's a possibility, I would bring it up to him now and discuss ways to deal with that so it doesn't come as a shock or as an ultimatum.
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Old 06-13-2008, 12:58 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I don't feel like he's being abused, that was just what I had heard about those "other" kids who had issues with peeing, that it could be the result of abuse.
He does like camp and yes, it was intentional the peeing on the other kid. That's what's so bad about it. The counselors have told us that they will kick him out if there's one more incident and we have told him that. Talking to him, though, it just goes in and out and he usually doesn't remember stuff for more then a day.
We are going to talk to a therapist, I think, because it's more then just this. I have a hard time understanding him because he's so different from me, but just like his dad who was always in trouble at school. It's like a lack of caring about getting in trouble and not a big need to please. Like my 8y/o tries to do things to make us happy, but I don't feel that alot from the younger one and he just laughs when he gets in trouble. Also has a big temper. Hard time focusing, really high energy. And this peeing thing is just a perfect example of his total disregard for all rules, including social ones. When he was four we were on a walk and he yelled out to some people down the street, hey, you m-er f-ers! Anyone else have a kid like this?
Thanks
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Old 06-13-2008, 01:17 PM
 
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Cut out all foods with artificial food coloring....red dye, yellow dye, blue dye...etc. He could be having a reaction (which us ually presents itself as ADD/ADHD).

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Old 06-13-2008, 05:24 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I was just thinking this today, about the food. We eat really good at home, but at this camp they feed the crappiest food. He is one who has a very strong reaction to sugar, too. I'm wondering about getting him tested for allergies because I know gluten can have a big imapct on behavior, too.
Thanks to everyone for all the feedback.
Kim
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