Do your kids annoy you? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 76 Old 06-27-2008, 08:35 PM - Thread Starter
 
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The older my kids get, the more they annoy me. I feel horrible even saying that But, it's true - especially with my youngest. The sweet times seem so few and far between. It seems like all day it's non stop mess making, fighting, arguing, whining "she touched me" "She got more" "it's not fair!!".

Just today my 5 yo cried and cried because when we pulled into the drive way, I asked my 6 yo to get the paper. Generally I get it first thing in the morning but I just forgot this morning. It's not like getting the paper is a big deal or something they look forward to - it was just an off handed request to my 6yo because the paper was on her side and my 5 yo lost it. Sobbing that she NEVER gets to do anything....... Which is not true. I'm very aware of her need to be helpful so, I give her daily things to do ie... she loves to be responsible for the keys when we're out and about so, that's her job..

It's all day. She whined and cried becasue she asked if she could go out to dinner tonight. Ummm, no.... we rarely go out to dinner so why she would even ask is beyond me. I told her no, we had food at home and that sent her on a whine fest.

I want to love on her, cuddle her, spend time with her and we do but inevitably, she ends up ruining it by whining and complaining and it makes me not want to be around her

I try to meet her on her terms - she loves to read, play "Meeting" (I'm secretary on my HOA board and she sees me in meetings taking notes) where we take notes and make lists of our favorite things etc..., we do workbooks together etc.... but, within minutes something sets her off and off we go in to the land of whinese.

I feel sad that I don't enjoy the majority of my time with her These days are flying by so fast. I want to spend time with her, to just be with her and talk to her and play with her but, it's just not pleasant
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#2 of 76 Old 06-27-2008, 08:52 PM
 
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My four year old and I have days like that. I find if everyone gets enough sleep and eats regularly there is less whining. Of course what is most interesting about that is when *I* get enough sleep and don't let *my* blood sugar drop he is less annoying. hmmmm
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#3 of 76 Old 06-27-2008, 09:32 PM
 
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I hope it is just the age. DD whines a lot. I enjoy a lot of my time with her though. Her biggest problem is she wants me to play with her or she is "bored".
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#4 of 76 Old 06-27-2008, 09:46 PM
 
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DS only annoys me when he's bored which means he's whiny/clingy. Sometimes when he starts annoying me I realize I haven't been giving him much attention because I've been working etc. (I work from home).
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#5 of 76 Old 06-27-2008, 11:18 PM
 
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I've felt this way sometimes too. I think I just prefer the younger set. There is something about older kids that I don't get.
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#6 of 76 Old 06-27-2008, 11:42 PM
 
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Don't feel bad, I feel the same way sometimes. I only have one child too, so that makes me feel even more guilty for thinking this way.
My almost 6 year old ds's behavior is very similar to your dd's. I love him so much, but it's hard to be around them all day, every day!
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#7 of 76 Old 06-27-2008, 11:47 PM
 
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I know what you mean about them getting more annoying as they get older. Maybe it's just because I have the two to compare, but my eight year old is much more irritating then my five year old. My five year old at least still hugs on me and tells me he loves me. My eight year old is just full of this attitude. It drives me nuts. I'm hoping that by nine or ten it'll get a little better. I think for him he's in this weird in between stage, trying to have independence, but still needing me. It is cool that he's getting old enough to appreciate alot of the same stuff that I like, though.
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#8 of 76 Old 06-28-2008, 12:27 AM
 
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My 4.5 year old is chronically annoying. It's just who she is and I'm on the path to acceptance.

My kids are very annoying in the car with their fussing and whining. I'm trying to be at peace with it.

I'm having to change my own attitude about the whole thing and it's a journey.
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#9 of 76 Old 06-28-2008, 12:57 AM
 
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I can relate too. I love my kiddos, but the whining and arguing are enough to drive me up the wall. As soon as the whiny voices (esp. w/my 5.5 y.o.) come out it is like I can't hear what they are saying and I just get irritated.

I think that as my ds1 gets older and he is less physically affectionate and not as "cute" it is easier for me to get annoyed w/his behavior bc he seems like such a big kid. When they are all little and squishy and cute, it seems less annoying. To me anyway.

Don't feel bad though, I think we all feel it sometimes.

Wife to dh, Mommy to ds1 12/2002, ds2 9/2005, and ds3 9/2008.
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#10 of 76 Old 06-28-2008, 02:32 AM
 
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I am to the point where when someone asks me a question . . . . and I know the answer is going to be contrary to what they were hoping . . . I brace myself for the whine or all out hysterical crying fit. It. Drives. Me. Nuts. The other day the triplets were whining about having the wrong "placemat" of the pink, blue, green and yellow bunny placemats. I shuffled them all. They calmed down - and then older DS freaked out because he didn't want the blue placemat. AHHHHHHH!

DS #1 picks up a free community magazine at the grocery store and leaves it in the van. One of the triplets sees it on a subsequent trip and picks it up and brings it in the house. DS#1 sees triplet with it and snatches it out of his hand. A fight ensues. Both crying and ripping at the free community magazine? Hysterical.

These are just two of hundreds of these scenarios daily that I find very. very. very. annoying . . . . .

TripMom . . . . . loving mom : to DS (7) and BBG (4.5)
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#11 of 76 Old 06-28-2008, 02:35 AM
 
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I need to add to this post my theory of "Treats Only Bring Pain".

I know people do things like go out for ice cream "as a treat" or have a movie night "as a treat" or go to the carousel in the park "as a treat".

In my house my experience has been "No good treat goes unpunished". If I take them for ice cream - the next 5 days straight I have to listen to begging escalating to crying for ice cream every single night. DH gets coffee for him and me every morning - and started occasionally bringing back a pastry for the kids. Now - every morning - we are rewarded with crying throw on the floor fits on the days he doesn't bring a treat (which is most days) . . .

Once again - "Treats Only Bring Pain" . . . . . and THAT is annoying . . .

TripMom . . . . . loving mom : to DS (7) and BBG (4.5)
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#12 of 76 Old 06-28-2008, 12:19 PM
 
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Oh yes, yes, yes! My three fight, complain and trash the house. My DD 5 drives me nuts. She constantly talks, makes noises, rushes me and needs nonstop entertainment. I've come to the realization that my biggest problem is that I feel like I'm competing to be "me". She copies everything I do or say and tries to be the Mom or talk about grown up issues. I had to tell my DH that he is not allowed to talk to her anymore about President Bush. LOL. She wants to be in charge and be involved in everything. It totally annoys me. My DH finds it funny because she is a carbon copy of me. I didn't know that I annoyed myself so much. LOL!
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#13 of 76 Old 06-28-2008, 03:59 PM
 
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What??!! No way!! Not my angels...


















At some point...every. single. day.

Darcy mama to Dillon, Marah and Leo, partner to Jeremy
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#14 of 76 Old 06-28-2008, 07:14 PM
 
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Originally Posted by TripMom View Post
I need to add to this post my theory of "Treats Only Bring Pain".

I know people do things like go out for ice cream "as a treat" or have a movie night "as a treat" or go to the carousel in the park "as a treat".

In my house my experience has been "No good treat goes unpunished". If I take them for ice cream - the next 5 days straight I have to listen to begging escalating to crying for ice cream every single night. DH gets coffee for him and me every morning - and started occasionally bringing back a pastry for the kids. Now - every morning - we are rewarded with crying throw on the floor fits on the days he doesn't bring a treat (which is most days) . . .

Once again - "Treats Only Bring Pain" . . . . . and THAT is annoying . . .
Oh, I so feel you. My dd constantly wants a special treat and throws fits. I'm teaching her that she has to be happy with what she has first. Even when we go and do really fun things that aren't a usual thing she still wants a special treat once we get home.
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#15 of 76 Old 06-28-2008, 07:36 PM
 
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Yes, sometimes my kids annoy me, especially my 4.5 yr old. There have been days that he was really really annoying, and other days that were great. But you know what, I'm sure I annoy him too sometimes.

Special treats - he'll ask for a special treat sometimes, even when he knows I will not say yes. For example, first thing in the morning, he asks for ice cream and chocolate chips. Um, no. We just try to be consistent and offer an explanation, like that he has to eat breakfast and lunch first and then for an afternoon snack we'll all have ice cream together. Why? Brief explanation about how our bodies need healthy foods to keep us healthy. He sometimes argues about it, sometimes not.

Mostly, I really try to treasure the great moments and be there for him when I can and help him figure out how to deal with the unprectabilities of life.

Mom of (11/27/03) and (9/29/06).
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#16 of 76 Old 06-28-2008, 08:41 PM
 
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I think a lot of it is age. My oldest DD is seven now, and she went through a period from around 5 through 6 that was just awful! Just drove me insane!! Every little thing would throw her into a fit. She HAD to have silly things her own way, and HAD to wear certain clothes, and HAD to have her hair done just so, and HAD to pick which book to read/movie to watch/game to play, etc etc.

Now she is getting to an age where she talks back some, but has thankfully grown out of most of the above.

I hope it will stay this way but I'm no dummy... I know she will be a teenager before I know it. [shudder]
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#17 of 76 Old 06-28-2008, 09:53 PM
 
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All. the. fricking. time. She's at this stage where she rambles. Forever. About her imaginary animals. And she makes up words. And she keeps talking even when I turn up the radio to drown her out. It's ok. She's funny. I think I'll keep her.
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#18 of 76 Old 06-28-2008, 10:15 PM
 
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Hmm.

Yes, they do have their moments. I know a good portion of it is simly their ages. One is 4 and the other is 7. The bickering and whining can be very taxing to me..to say the least.

The begininng of summer was very difficult for me. My husband took a week off and that and school getting out and my job coming to an end for the year all led to instant chaos.

I'd like to say that we've recovered, but that would be a lie. We are struggling through, and I am trying desperatly to get them back into some sort of routine or SOMETHING along the lines of structure, because that really, really helps a LOT !
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#19 of 76 Old 06-28-2008, 10:20 PM
 
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Yes, in the summer. I go all Spring chomping at the bit and then spend at least one hour a day thinking "go away kid!"

I know, this makes me awful, but to be fair, they are mighty annoying at 6 and 4 when they are together 24 hours a day.
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#20 of 76 Old 06-28-2008, 11:31 PM
 
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Ah, yes. DD is nearly 4, DS is 2 1/2 and, boy, do they love to fight! They annoy me probably less, though, than any other two people I might spend 12 hours a day with, 7 days a week. I love my DH, but if he and I had that quantity of time together, I might just throw him off a bridge. So the kids aren't quite so bad, I guess.
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#21 of 76 Old 06-29-2008, 05:58 PM
 
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YES!!! OH MY GOSH. I actually got online to look about about this very thing!

I am pregnant so my patience is not what it normally is anyway.

Today we went to church and it started off bad because our priest gave the kids suckers. :AT 8 FREAKIN AM! Come on! So then by the end of church DS was a wild man. Thanks Father!

So we come home and all is ok. Then DH says, lets go to the shoe store. GAh! My kids are almost 5 and almost 3. They were bored and wild, then they were non-stop whining, chittering nonsense and loud in the car. I was about to freak out. Ok.. I did freak out a bit and yelled for everyone to BE QUIET!

Anyway, I appreciate all the others going through this? Does anyone have a good book recommendation for this age?

Homeschooling mama to 3 Italian babies. homeschool.gif  Due with #4 on Sept. 28! Planning a rockin' Homebirth. homebirth.jpg

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#22 of 76 Old 06-29-2008, 07:11 PM
 
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Originally Posted by TripMom View Post
I need to add to this post my theory of "Treats Only Bring Pain".

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#23 of 76 Old 06-29-2008, 07:26 PM
 
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My kids when they are away from one another do not usually annoy me. However, when they are together (4.5 yr old and almost 3 yr old), they drives me NUTS, b/c all they do is bicker and whine! There are times I wish that I would have spaced my kids 5 yrs apart, to avoid some of this bickering.
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#24 of 76 Old 06-29-2008, 07:48 PM
 
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My kids are 5 years apart and they still argue. Surprisingly the almost 2yo is the aggressor. He tries to sit on his sister, whatever she has he takes away and screams at her. He throws things at her. But she also gives such nice big reactions too that it's hard for him not too do it. So I end up saying get off your sister 100 times a day. Dd's been locking herself in her room and playing barbies and polly pockets for hours a day to avoid him. He does play better with her in her room too. I really thought we'd avoid this. When dd is out here, she talks constantly, tells the same bad jokes over and over, yeah. I lover her to pieces and we do have fun together, but there is no denying that she does get on my nerves sometimes. Then again I'm with them both 24/7 literally. Oh wait, once every 7-10 days I go grocery shopping, that is my alone time.
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#25 of 76 Old 06-29-2008, 08:01 PM
 
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I just read (at the suggestion of an mdc mama) _The 5 Love Languages of Children_ and in addition to many other great points, the author said straight out- hey, children act like children and let's face it: childish behavior is annoying.

I loved that! it was the first parenting book i've read that was so honest about that fact. Then it goes on to talk about the importance of loving your children unconditionally, which is great. But i loved that he cut to the chase about that...it made me trust him, as an author!

But, yeah... my 2 year old is not annoying yet...he's still very cute. But my 5 y.o has a lot going on.

Course... she's irrisistible too!

I am a homeopath, offering acute and constitutional consultations for children, babies, and parents. Long-distance treatment is easy, either phone or skype! I also am certified to offer Homeoprophylaxis, a vaccine-alternative program. Message me for more details. www.concentrichealing.com
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#26 of 76 Old 06-29-2008, 08:09 PM
 
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My kids are 5 years apart and they still argue. Surprisingly the almost 2yo is the aggressor. He tries to sit on his sister, whatever she has he takes away and screams at her. He throws things at her. But she also gives such nice big reactions too that it's hard for him not too do it. So I end up saying get off your sister 100 times a day. Dd's been locking herself in her room and playing barbies and polly pockets for hours a day to avoid him. He does play better with her in her room too. I really thought we'd avoid this. When dd is out here, she talks constantly, tells the same bad jokes over and over, yeah. I lover her to pieces and we do have fun together, but there is no denying that she does get on my nerves sometimes. Then again I'm with them both 24/7 literally. Oh wait, once every 7-10 days I go grocery shopping, that is my alone time.
That's funny. My youngest is also the instigator. When he was sick last wk, I noticed that there was no bickering. This wk, my oldest is sick and they are still bicker a little (not as much as usual), b/c the younger one is feeling like himself again and starting things up with his older brother. I think alone time helps so much. My alone time is LLL once a month (although for me it involves work since I'm a leader) and mom's night out for moms club once a month. It helps so much to get away from the kids!
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#27 of 76 Old 06-29-2008, 08:25 PM
 
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This has been a rough few months. My son is 5 1/2 and he's been very difficult. It makes me sad and frustrated.

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#28 of 76 Old 06-29-2008, 11:12 PM
 
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Yes, Yes, Yes! My kids definately annoy me at times.
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#29 of 76 Old 06-29-2008, 11:44 PM
 
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My oldest annoyed the holy crap out of me endlessly. My youngest, almost never. But here's the thing - after all this time, I have come to realize that DS made me question everything I believed. I believed I was the centerof the universe. DS knocked my butt right out of it, never ind that I got there first. I believed he shouldn't be so annoying. But he WAS and it taught me to (mostly) stop arguing with reality. I believed he shouldn't swear and smoke and get tattoos (okay, I lied about the tattoos. I love his tattoos) But he DOES swear and smoke and have tattoos. It taught me to respect his individuality and to accept him exactly the way he is. This annoying, exasperating, maddening, loving kind generous sweet young man taught me that (gasp) I was NOT all that and I most decidedly did NOT know much of anything. All of my controlling, manipulating and preaching never changed a darn thing. Now, honest guidance and heartfelt concern was welcomed. After a while heh heh. The other stuff just fueled his determination to assert himself. So, yeah, be thankful for the annoying ones. Cherish them, mamas. LISTEN to them.They're your teachers, your guides, your little Zen monks in disguise.
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#30 of 76 Old 06-30-2008, 11:58 PM
 
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Cherish them, mamas. LISTEN to them.They're your teachers, your guides, your little Zen monks in disguise.
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