8 yo dd wants short haircut....update post 38 - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 44 Old 07-02-2008, 02:02 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I dont' think she'll like it.

She thinks short, like Sharon Stone in basic instinct. But, she also wants hair like Miley Cirus. So, she wants really long and really short at the same time. I'm probably going to let her cut it, b/c she's VERY insistant and me telling her she won't like it isn't good enough.

Any advise on how to handle? It's her head, I have no problem letting her cut it. Who knows, maybe she will like it?

Michelle -mom to Katlyn 4/00 , Jake 3/02, and Seth 5/04
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#2 of 44 Old 07-02-2008, 02:05 AM
 
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If she doesn't like it, it will grow back. Not sure what else to say.
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#3 of 44 Old 07-02-2008, 02:07 AM - Thread Starter
 
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True. She still blames me for a too short haircut when she was 5. I suppose she's older and it will be differetn.

Michelle -mom to Katlyn 4/00 , Jake 3/02, and Seth 5/04
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#4 of 44 Old 07-02-2008, 02:10 AM
 
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Have you tried one of those online sites where you upload a headshot and then "try on" different hairstyles? Maybe it would give her a better idea of whether she'd actually like it or not.
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#5 of 44 Old 07-02-2008, 02:46 AM
 
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Has she found specific pictures of the short hairstyle she wants? One thing my hairdresser has always told me is to not just find a picture of a haircut that I like but find one with my same haircolor so I would be able to tell better how it would look on me. The same hairstyle in a different color can look totally different. Maybe even sit down with her with several different haircuts of varying lengths and have her pic her favorite. If it's the super short one- compliment her on her choice but then let her know that if she did get it cut so short it would be a long time before it would be long again- that and short short hair takes a lot of work! Is she willing to take the extra time to style it? (you know- creatively talk her out of it. ) Anyhoo, I'm totally rambling. Having said all that I myself had some *hideous* haircuts as a child. One in particular that stands out quite clearly is my 6th grade hairdo. I had this terrible terrible poodle perm thing going on with jagged edges and bangs that were permed too! Oh it was ridiculously bad. I asked my mom recently why she would let me out of the house like that to which she replied 'But that's what you wanted!!' (And I don't remember hating it- I actually remember begging my hairstylist to perm it so really it was what I wanted for my hair ) So, I'm not sure if that was supposed to comfort you or not. I guess I just mean if she likes it then she's happy and that's what matters. But years from now she might ask you why you ever let her get haircut like that.

Melanie
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#6 of 44 Old 07-02-2008, 03:44 AM
 
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If it were me, I would try to figure out a way to not let her do it. I did the same thing when I was around 10 - the kids in my class teased and teased me and it took forever to grow back. I guess I wasn't old enough to understand the long term implications. It didn't help that people all over the place said things like "oh why did you cut your beautiful blonde hair, it was SO pretty, you looked SO nice." uh, didn't make me feel very good about myself. I think I still have issues because of it!

Maybe if she really insists, you could try going halfway. Start with a bob, see how she feels with all her hair cut off - and if she STILL insists, well...I dunno. You're on your own!
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#7 of 44 Old 07-02-2008, 08:44 AM
 
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I'm a firm believer that hair is one thing I will never fight about with my kids. It's just hair. It ALWAYS grows back.
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#8 of 44 Old 07-02-2008, 08:49 AM
 
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I've had my hair really short (Halle Berry short) and then back to long below my shoulder blades so many times! I like both very long and very short for different reasons; I wish I could do both at the same time. It's a pain growing it back out, but nothing that a hair band or barrettes won't help. Even if she hates it afterwards, you'll both survive!

Laura - Mom to ds (10) and dd (7) "Time stands still best in moments that look suspiciously like ordinary life." Brian Andreas.

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#9 of 44 Old 07-02-2008, 11:36 AM
 
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I'd take a really hands-off approach. Take her to a hairstylist, and let her to talk to the stylist. Let her make the decision. If she hates it, comfort her and assure her that it is just hair--and buy her some cute clips and headbands to use until it grows out. If she loves it, great!
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#10 of 44 Old 07-02-2008, 11:54 AM
 
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I begged and begged and begged to be allowed to have "boys hair" from the time I was four. I never let up, and neither did my mother. At 14 I walked to the barber and said "PLEASE, chop it all off. Give me a guys cut." My hair hasn't been past my chin since then. It's currently about a quarter inch long.

She may love it, and she may really want it.
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#11 of 44 Old 07-02-2008, 01:38 PM
 
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Let her do it. At 8, she can make that decision and she can understand the ramifications of that decision. It's her hair and I think she should be allowed to make her own decisions about it.
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#12 of 44 Old 07-02-2008, 02:07 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm definitely not going to fight her, but I will try to work around it gently. I'll ask the stylist to start w/an inbetween bob- short, but not spikey. If she still wants it shorter, we can go shorter.

Michelle -mom to Katlyn 4/00 , Jake 3/02, and Seth 5/04
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#13 of 44 Old 07-02-2008, 02:37 PM
 
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Nothing wrong with a girl having short hair. Mine is shorter than my husbands. It's also been halfway down my back.

Hair is just hair. I think its a good experience to get your hair cut short & watch it grow through all the different stages; and there's so much you can do - headbands, barettes, etc. to help her through it if she doesn't like it.

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#14 of 44 Old 07-02-2008, 03:27 PM
 
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My 9 yo dd just chopped her way past shoulder length gorgeous curly thick hair to just above her chin. I thought she was going to hate it. It is the most beautiful it has ever been in her life. It fits her perfectly.
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#15 of 44 Old 07-02-2008, 04:31 PM
 
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I would have her find a few photos of short hairstyles she likes and then let her do it... or see if she would like to try a medium length cut for awhile instead of going really short all at once.
I'd leave the final choice up to her though.
If she doesn't like it then it will grow back and she will know now that she doesn't like it that way. If she does like it then she'll be thrilled.

Kim ~mom to one awesome dd (12)

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#16 of 44 Old 07-05-2008, 09:32 AM
 
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why not let her do it?
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#17 of 44 Old 07-05-2008, 01:24 PM
 
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Can you cut in some long layers with the top layer being chin length and then tying the long hairs back into a bun. This would make her hair look as if it was in a bob without actually cutting it. This would allow her to see herself with shorter hair to see if she actually likes it. If she does like it, let her cut it. Hair is something I refuse to battle over. My DD has had flame red hair before and now wants blue. I dont' care what my kids do to their hair, they have to live with it.
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#18 of 44 Old 07-05-2008, 01:34 PM
 
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my dd wanted short hair, i finally gave in. she likes short hair, although i would rather her have it long. i figure it will always grow back.

Kristin- Wife to J, Mommy to B (11), M-S (8), and little J (4) and J&J (7 months)
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#19 of 44 Old 07-05-2008, 01:58 PM
 
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I've had my hair cut short and I've shaved my head. I've reached the conclusion that my hair looks better long, but I'm still glad I had it very short.

I sometimes miss short hair because I liked not having to do anything with it. The person up thread who said that short hair requires work baffled me. It may be because I have very curly hair and long it requires effort and when it is short I finger comb and go.

My advice may not be appropriate for you. That's ok. You are just fine how you are and I am the right kind of me.

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#20 of 44 Old 07-05-2008, 05:07 PM
 
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I would definitely just let her do it and not overthink it too much. It *is* just hair and it will grow back.

My mom never let my sisters or me cut our hair. She thought we should have long straight hair. I begged and begged for a hair cut with a real style, and she kept saying no. She never had a good reason, and looking back I think it was really unfair.

Mom to dd (8), ds (6), and dd (1)

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#21 of 44 Old 07-05-2008, 05:19 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tootersmom View Post
Have you tried one of those online sites where you upload a headshot and then "try on" different hairstyles? Maybe it would give her a better idea of whether she'd actually like it or not.
got a link to one of those? My MIL thinks dsd would look good in a pixie and I think it would look god-awful. Usually we agree, but not on this one.

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#22 of 44 Old 07-05-2008, 08:50 PM
 
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It's just hair!!!!!
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#23 of 44 Old 07-06-2008, 12:10 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ziggy View Post
My hair hasn't been past my chin since then. It's currently about a quarter inch long.

She may love it, and she may really want it.
:

Isn't short hair the absolute BEST?

I'm waiting for my daughter to tell me she wants short hair. She looks lovely with long hair when its brushed, but currently its always in her face, and she hates ponytails or braids or barettes or brushing or combing, hahaha... but don't want to suggest a haircut because I don't want to feel like I'm over-influencing, kwim?

But ah, how easy & comfortable it would be for her.

I agree with all the PP's who say hair is just hair. If she wants it short, let her go for it.

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#24 of 44 Old 07-06-2008, 12:46 AM
 
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I agree with the posters who say let the child do what they want with their hair. My oldest daughter has waist length thick, wavy hair. It is beautiful and she totally loves it. Unfortunately it is hell to brush though and she screams every time. Sometimes I wish she would cut it off. But honestly I would probably be sad if she cut off all her hair. That is my issue though and I would never let her know that. I'm sure your DD will look adorable with her short cut!

Shawna, married to Michael, mommy to Elijah 1/18/01, Olivia 11/9/02, and Eliana 1/22/06
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#25 of 44 Old 07-06-2008, 01:06 AM
 
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Originally Posted by ctdoula View Post
I'm a firm believer that hair is one thing I will never fight about with my kids. It's just hair. It ALWAYS grows back.
I feel the exact same way. If they are old enough to tell me why they feel they want what they want, then I have no problem letting them do it. It is only hair, and it will grow back.

I would let them know if the particular hair cut would make things difficult, though, like specific hair styles. For instance DD1 has asked to cut off her waist-length hair to her chin like a friend has, but I have reminded her that it would make putting her hair in a bun for ballet difficult. She loves to wear a bun, so she decided she didn't want her hair short. However, I would not have fought her if she still insisted that is what she wanted to do.

Mama to Ava (12/03) , Leila (4/06) , Violet (11/08) , and bonus mama to Madison (7/98)
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#26 of 44 Old 07-06-2008, 01:22 AM
 
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We do this too. My DD had long curly hair and wanted it cut short. It was really hard for me but, I let her do it. I did talk her out of bangs though as she does gymnastics and sweaty, wet bangs on her forehead would drive her crazy. They did cut it a bit too short so she's growing it out a bit (I can't wait because I hate it short ) But, she swears she loves her hair short and won't ever grow it long again which is sad because it's gorgeous and thick and curly but, it is her hair so I let her have it how she wants it.
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#27 of 44 Old 07-06-2008, 01:28 AM
 
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Am I the only person who basically universally doesn't like long hair???

With the exception of really young children - it always looks full of split ends...
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#28 of 44 Old 07-06-2008, 12:24 PM
 
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My 9 yo daughter had really long hair, just past her waist. She said she wanted a chin length bob. We cut it 4" at a time. The first trim was much needed. The second I was okay with. After that she had to really push but I did keep in mind that it is her body.

As it turns out, she wanted something easier to care for. Who can blame her? She stopped at just past her shoulder. She can still do a ponytail and it is much easier all around.

Is there a way you can ease into the final haircut?

You don’t owe them an explanation, just a response.
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#29 of 44 Old 07-06-2008, 01:35 PM
 
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My DD is 4 yrs old and asks me to cut her hair all the time because it's getting too long. It's how she likes it. I'm surprised that so many people are saying they would try to talk their kids out of it.

ETA, her hair is quit short, think curly pixie cut.
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#30 of 44 Old 07-06-2008, 02:54 PM
 
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I agree, hair is just hair! It is never worth an argument, just like clothing. There is also something important to me about the fact that our identity isn't about our hair, teeth, height, weight, clothes, etc. All of these things change over time.
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