Would you buy your son a pink car seat? - Mothering Forums

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Old 07-10-2008, 05:47 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Ok, so I dont' really care about gender roles... but yet there is a part of me that tends to lean more toward traditional when it comes to clothing or car seats. The thing is my son really likes pink. He has a hello kitty water bottle, he has a pink toy race car, and recently he bought himself a metallic pink bag.

The thing is we're picking out a new car seat, and I suggested he pick what color he wants. He, of course, wants the pink one. Most of me thinks ok, well we'll get that one. And another part of me is hesitant.

When I think about what bothers me about it... it's the other people thing. I don't have a problem with him liking pink. I guess I've tried to keep it within the generally accepted things boys can have that are pink... Which is tough is a world where boys are supposed to where camouflage and dump truck shirts.

So this just came up for me in the last hour, so it's kind of fresh. I'm thinking I likely would just get the pink one because I asked him to pick. And I'm beginning to think it's not like anyone is going to see it.

I guess I want to allow him the freedom of colors within a safety zone where he won't be the victim of other's comments or rude remarks.

What would you do?
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Old 07-10-2008, 06:07 PM
 
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Carseat I'd absolutely let him have it

-Angela
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Old 07-10-2008, 06:21 PM
 
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That's what my son would choose. Pink is his favorite color . I'd go along with it.
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Old 07-10-2008, 06:37 PM
 
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Fun fact: (taken from Wiki)

"In Western culture, the practice of assigning pink to an individual gender began in the 1920s. From then until the 1940s, pink was considered appropriate for boys because it was the more masculine and decided color while blue was considered appropriate for girls because it was the more delicate and dainty color. Since the 1940s, the societal norm apparently inverted so that pink became appropriate for girls and blue appropriate for boys, a practice that has continued into the 21st century."

Always found that so interesting! And, yes, I would let him have the pink carseat!
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Old 07-10-2008, 06:42 PM
 
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You're asking this in earnest?

Quote:
When I think about what bothers me about it... it's the other people thing. I don't have a problem with him liking pink. I guess I've tried to keep it within the generally accepted things boys can have that are pink... Which is tough is a world where boys are supposed to where camouflage and dump truck shirts.
In such a world, it might be tough. I wouldn't like to live there.


Luckily, we live on Earth.
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Old 07-10-2008, 06:44 PM
 
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Let him have it. Especially since you did say he could pick the colour he wanted.
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Old 07-10-2008, 06:46 PM
 
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without hesitation....my DS wore violet/pink shoes for months!!!! He has a pink blankie and rainbow babylegs.....

still learning
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Old 07-10-2008, 06:51 PM
 
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without hesitation....my DS wore violet/pink shoes for months!!!! He has a pink blankie and rainbow babylegs.....
Uh-oh... rainbow. You know what that means.
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Old 07-10-2008, 07:07 PM
 
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I would end up buying it, too. It would be one of those situations with my kids where they constantly remind me about how I said they could pick the color, but then I changed my mind.

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Old 07-10-2008, 07:19 PM
 
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It would depend on how old he is, and how long he's going to have the carseat.

If he's 3 and you're buying a carseat/booster combo that you plan for him to use till he's 8, I'd go with something neutral. He might have a different favorite color next month, and might be really unhappy with a pink carseat when he's a bit older. If you only expect him to be in it for a year or two, or if you're ok with replacing it if he decides he doesn't like the color later, I'd get the pink.

We live in a conservative area though, and I know I'd get a hard time from a LOT of people if I bought my ds much of anything pink, so my opinion may be a bit biased.

ZM
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Old 07-10-2008, 07:47 PM
 
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Yes, there will be so much of his life where he may be painfully aware and teased (although hopefully not-people seem to be getting more aware) so why not let him enjoy it now when he can just really enjoy it without having to think twice. If people say anything to you just say that you are respecting your sons choices.
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Old 07-10-2008, 08:14 PM
 
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Definitely.
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Old 07-10-2008, 08:23 PM
 
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While my DH might not be exceptionally thrilled at first, I would typically let my DS get something pink (not that he cares about that stuff right now, he's 16 mos old). But as far as carseats go, I have 3 kids so we tend to buy neutral colors. One child's favorite color might be the next child's least favorite color so I buy beige. If DS wants to play with dolls or color with the pink crayons, that's fine by me. Right now he is in love with one of my 5 1/2 yr old DD's Barbie dolls, he loves to carry it around and stroke the hair. Doesn't bother me at all. The girls play with balls and dump trucks too. We have a train table and a ton of trains b/c my oldest was heavily into trains at age 2... all 3 kids play with it now.

To answer the original question though... for us I would not buy a pink carseat b/c I want all the carseats to be neutral to reduce fighting later (and save my sanity).

Beth

p.s. And yes, we have Barbies... I know. They were mine and I have to admit I'm rather attached to them. Cracks my DH up to see the gold and denim go-go boots and other crazy fashions.
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Old 07-10-2008, 08:24 PM
 
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I vote yes, let him have it.

However, I do think the previous advice about how long you plan on having the car seat is something to consider. Favorite colors do tend to change quite a bit from 3 to 8 years old. And sadly, gender stereotypes also tend to become much more amplified during those years too.
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Old 07-10-2008, 09:10 PM
 
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I was into all things "boy" as a child and wanted nothing to do with "girlie" things or colors. I'm still like that. If he really wants a pink one, go for it.

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Old 07-10-2008, 09:23 PM
 
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I would get the pink one. Personally, I would go for one that matches my car. But if you don't care and he does... well, let him get the one he likes.

Angela , wife to DH (Oct 1999), mother to DD (Oct 2008)
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Old 07-10-2008, 09:26 PM
 
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yeah I probably would. Who's going to see it?

but personally so far I have taken the lame/easy way out and bought the carseat that suited my budget/requirement/space/size/length of use I want out of it needs and brought it home for the child on a shopping trip I took *alone*

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Old 07-10-2008, 09:31 PM
 
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Is it one of the kind where you can buy new covers? If then definitely would go with the pink he wants. If you can't change the cover and you plan to keep it a long time, neutral might have been best, but since you told him he could pick, I'd probably go ahead with the pink and deal with any issue over it down the road.
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Old 07-10-2008, 09:37 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Individuation View Post
Uh-oh... rainbow. You know what that means.
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Old 07-10-2008, 09:44 PM
 
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i say go for it! even if later he decides he doesn't like pink you can always get a cover in his new color choice, or you could get a gender neutral color (whatever...pfffft) carseat and get a pink cover.
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Old 07-10-2008, 09:51 PM
 
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We got a carseat in "cow-moo-flage". It's darn cute! I asked my DH this very question and he said absolutely NOT. So, maybe DH would change his mind if DS was at an age where he could ask for a color, but now it is a no-go.

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Old 07-10-2008, 10:17 PM
 
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I'd buy the pink car seat. Who cares what other people think?

My son chose a dress to wear the other day. I know some of my partner's conservative friends thought it was nuts that I would "let" him choose that . . . but that's their problem, not my son's. As he gets older, I'll be happy to help him come up with clever retorts to judgmental people, but I won't ever encourage him to compromise his own tastes just to make others more comfortable.

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Old 07-10-2008, 10:18 PM
 
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Originally Posted by zeldamomma View Post
It would depend on how old he is, and how long he's going to have the carseat.

If he's 3 and you're buying a carseat/booster combo that you plan for him to use till he's 8, I'd go with something neutral. He might have a different favorite color next month, and might be really unhappy with a pink carseat when he's a bit older. If you only expect him to be in it for a year or two, or if you're ok with replacing it if he decides he doesn't like the color later, I'd get the pink.
That's what I was going to say. I personally wouldn't care about getting him the pink carseat, but when he's about 5 or 6 or so, he might have a drastically different opinion. My son has firmly decided that "pink is for girls" even though he has always liked pink, I have always let him have pink if he wanted it, and have never said that "pink is for girls." In fact, I've always told him that anyone can like any color they want, wear whatever they want, etc. But he's no dummy - he's figured out that in this culture, pink is for girls and blue is for boys.
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Old 07-10-2008, 10:34 PM
 
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As a mama with a kiddo rocking a pink shirt right now, I say go with it but see if there is a selection of covers that you can swap out. Pink may be his favorite color, but tomorrow it may be orange.
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Old 07-10-2008, 10:54 PM
 
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If that is what he wants

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Old 07-10-2008, 11:12 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for the support. I live in a fairly conservative area, so at times I'm more aware of things I'd rather not be. I totally get that while we raise our children to be open about a range of things that "society" tends to sweep them up with the rest of the kiddos.

I do appreciate being pointed out about the booster seat issue. YES, it is a booster seat, and he would be using it until he's nearing 100 lbs (so let's see that's 65 lbs. away).

I will see if I can order another seat cover, and order it at the same time.
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Old 07-10-2008, 11:27 PM
 
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Actually, I don't think I would buy pink for a boy or a girl. Car seats get so grimey (at least they do in my car!), I wouldn't get such a light fabric. I would go for something that is more dirt colored.
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Old 07-11-2008, 12:18 AM
 
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I wouldn't only because I am a car seat obsessed CPS tech and spend alot of money on seats, too much to replace a seat when my DS decides at 5 that he would rather have a blue seat because the other kindy boys tease him over the seat. Now could he ride in sis's hand me down pink seat, sure! Or pink anything else that doesn't cost $300, sure! I guess maybe I could just replace a cover... For me though, it has nothing to do with NOT wanting my son in a pink seat, just not wanting to replace it if the pink-ness became unwanted.

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Old 07-11-2008, 12:40 AM
 
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Originally Posted by zeldamomma View Post
It would depend on how old he is, and how long he's going to have the carseat.

If he's 3 and you're buying a carseat/booster combo that you plan for him to use till he's 8, I'd go with something neutral. He might have a different favorite color next month, and might be really unhappy with a pink carseat when he's a bit older. If you only expect him to be in it for a year or two, or if you're ok with replacing it if he decides he doesn't like the color later, I'd get the pink.
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That's what I was going to say. I personally wouldn't care about getting him the pink carseat, but when he's about 5 or 6 or so, he might have a drastically different opinion. My son has firmly decided that "pink is for girls" even though he has always liked pink, I have always let him have pink if he wanted it, and have never said that "pink is for girls." In fact, I've always told him that anyone can like any color they want, wear whatever they want, etc. But he's no dummy - he's figured out that in this culture, pink is for girls and blue is for boys.
:

I went through this with my older son when we went shopping for a booster seat. His favorite color at the time was pink, and he definitely wanted the pink booster! I realized that he would likely have a different favorite color within months, and that he'd figure out that society thinks pink is for girls. So, I strongly encouraged him to pick a different color.

It was the right decision. He did drop pink as his favorite color, and is very aware now of how other people view pink, dolls, nail polish, etc. Fitting in with his peers is important to him right now. I'm glad that the color of his booster seat won't cause a problem for him in that regard.

I will say that I miss the days when he wore pink and dresses and nail polish and such. I miss his innocence and his ability to explore freely. But, he's growing up. He says Mom and even Mother now, though Mommy still passes his lips the most. He doesn't give me hugs and kisses goodbye without me asking first. He'd rather run off with his friends than cuddle on the couch. All this is normal, and it really is great fun watching him become his own person. I'm glad that I recognized that this almost-6-year-old would come to exist back when he was an almost-4-year-old. There are plenty of ways of honoring your child's love for pink, without buying a pink booster that he or you will come to regret in a few years.

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Old 07-11-2008, 02:18 AM
 
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I just wanted to add that if your son is going to go to preschool, then other kids will see his carseat if they do field trips.

I'm all for letting kids wear what they want and be who they want, but I'd worry about the teasing that might happen if my son were to be dropped off with a pink chair. I think it sucks that our society is like this, but it is.
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