Boys in the womens room - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

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#61 of 75 Old 07-18-2008, 03:55 PM
 
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i take my brood in the family bathroom when we go...thats just the way it is... very one gets changes, used the toilet, gets washed up... its takes FOREVER... then we are ready to continue on..

If you happen to be waiting in line behind us please be patient mom may have to pee too
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#62 of 75 Old 07-18-2008, 04:15 PM
 
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At the Y where ds takes swim lessons (he's 11 months old) there is a sign on the women's lockerroom door that says somethign to the effect that "Boys from ages 0-99 are not allowed in the women's locker room, please use the family changing room"

0????? That's crazy to me! The family changing room is a room with a bench and changing table, no toliet, no shower.....what the heck am I suppose to do when ds is 3 and needs to pee????

Why would anyone care about an infant of the "opposite" gender in their bathroom?
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#63 of 75 Old 07-18-2008, 05:26 PM
 
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Originally Posted by tbone_kneegrabber View Post
At the Y where ds takes swim lessons (he's 11 months old) there is a sign on the women's lockerroom door that says somethign to the effect that "Boys from ages 0-99 are not allowed in the women's locker room, please use the family changing room"

0????? That's crazy to me! The family changing room is a room with a bench and changing table, no toliet, no shower.....what the heck am I suppose to do when ds is 3 and needs to pee????

Why would anyone care about an infant of the "opposite" gender in their bathroom?
Or what are you supposed to do now when YOU need to pee? That's a crazy policy. I'd take that one up with management right now - if they want to exclude all boys from the locker room, then they need to provide toilets as well as changing rooms for families.

However, I imagine that they came up with that policy to avoid people arguing with them and saying, "He's only 3!" when asked to not take their older boys in.
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#64 of 75 Old 07-18-2008, 11:37 PM
 
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DS is 7 1/2 and he still usually comes in with me. Sometimes I'll feel comfortable letting him go in the men's room if I'm outside the door, but if *I* have to go, he comes with me. He's a wanderer and I'm not confident he would stay right outside the door.
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#65 of 75 Old 07-18-2008, 11:57 PM
 
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Originally Posted by tbone_kneegrabber View Post
At the Y where ds takes swim lessons (he's 11 months old) there is a sign on the women's lockerroom door that says somethign to the effect that "Boys from ages 0-99 are not allowed in the women's locker room, please use the family changing room"

0????? That's crazy to me! The family changing room is a room with a bench and changing table, no toliet, no shower.....what the heck am I suppose to do when ds is 3 and needs to pee????

Why would anyone care about an infant of the "opposite" gender in their bathroom?
1. That's so insane as to be laughable!
2. I want to see a 100-year-old man walk in there one day!:

DS 12/22/05 and DD 5/24/09
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#66 of 75 Old 07-19-2008, 12:53 AM
 
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Hey, if places have family or co-ed bathrooms that are reasonable to use I always do.

Why so many places have only one available, I just don't understand. Like, families are so unheard of?
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#67 of 75 Old 07-19-2008, 01:17 AM
 
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Originally Posted by mamabain View Post
i'm wondering when one of the european mamas is going to chime in with the "what's wrong with co-ed bathrooms for everybody?"
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Originally Posted by ziggy View Post
Gendered bathrooms are dumb.

Yay! I was reading through, just looking for this sentiment.

Where did this business about male/female bathrooms ever come from? It seems to me that much of the trepidation surrounding public bathrooms stems from lack of privacy (kids peaking under stalls, poorly aligned stall doors, broken locks, etc). When contemplating that, I'm not especially keen on having other women and girls hear and see me in a vulnerable and private moment. Why is it somehow worse if it's a member of the male sex who shatters my privacy?

My husband never speaks of any "harrowing experiences" in mens washrooms, save the awful state of cleanliness of many of them. When we are out together, he has often returned a child to me with comment that the mens' room was too gross. Co-ed public bathrooms would probably cut down on that, too.

Six kids, sixth sense, six degrees of separation. . . from sanity!
Not sure that I'm crunchy, but definitely a "tough chew".
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#68 of 75 Old 07-19-2008, 09:17 AM
 
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Interesting discussion.

I've worked at several pools. The general rule was older than 6 had to use the appropriate changeroom but I know it was not really heavily enforced. It was more there in the case of a complaint & honestly even then we would generally approach the "offender" & simply tell them there had been a complaint.

If you are at a pool that doesn't have a family changeroom I would complain - every single time. I would have all my friends do the same. There really isn't a good excuse for a facility not to make accomodations.

Surviving sleep deprivation one day at a time with dd (Oct '11) & ds (Oct '08).

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#69 of 75 Old 07-19-2008, 09:26 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Jillybean View Post
I take my 4yo and 6yo boys in to the ladies room with me still, i don't think its a problem at all. I'm not comfortable with them going alone to the men's room and neither are they.
ditto

Even when dad is around I think i still take them to the bathroom most of the time!
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#70 of 75 Old 07-19-2008, 11:48 AM
 
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I have made a point since 5 yo DS was little to often call the ladies room the "mommy bathroom" as opposed to the ladies/girls/womens room. I am hoping that when the question arises as to why he has to go in the girls bathroom, he will understand that it is not just for girls, it is for mommies with kids. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

That being said, when DS had swim lessons last month, I made a point to be sure to be quick in the locker room. There was no reason for us to change and shower in there. I didn't want the chance of putting anyone in an awkward position (DS seeing a naked lady, the naked lady being seen, or me having to discuss it with him). Because I know I wouldn't want another 5 yo boy peering at me.

But, for safety's sake (and for the sake of time- 5 yos sure can find a lot to do in the bathroom!!), he will be joining me in the bathroom/locker room for a while longer.

mom to G 6/19/03 and M 9/9/06
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#71 of 75 Old 07-19-2008, 03:17 PM
 
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Originally Posted by whalemilk View Post
I guess my husband and my brother must both just be really, really lucky because they don't seem to have any horror stories at all. Now I'm intrigued what this is supposed to mean.
I didn't read all the replies... However, I can tell you that it will be a LONG time before I send DS into a men's restroom alone.

About a year ago, DH went into the restroom at a Wal-Mart (not that it's THEIR fault ~ just noting that it's your basic family/grocery/shopping store) to find two men having s*x. Obviously, he came right back out.

I can't imagine my DS walking in on that!

I personally think that "family bathrooms" should be like handicapped ones, it should be required by law in certain size businesses (malls, large stores, etc.)
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#72 of 75 Old 07-19-2008, 05:40 PM
 
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Why should a young child be in any public place (especially one with halfdressed adults) without a parent or parent-designated caregiver with them? My son came in the girl's bathroom with me until I moved in with my Hubby, who then took over taking him. (My son started to go by himself when he was 10 or 11.) Even now, my stepdaughter, who's 7, does not go to the ladie's room without me, because, you just never know. When I was growing up, there was a news story about a man following a little girl (I think she was 8?) and molesting her in a mall ladie's room. The same could happen to a little boy.

I pray for the day Family Court recognizes that CHILDREN have rights, parents only have PRIVILEGES.  Only then, will I know my child is safe.
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#73 of 75 Old 07-19-2008, 05:56 PM
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IMO, she was way out of line to tell you that he didn't belong there. A 5 year old BELONGS with his MOTHER. Period. (Unless Dad is nearby, lol)

No way in heck would I let a 5 year old go into the men's room by himself, and I feel it is inappropriate for a woman to go into the men's room.
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#74 of 75 Old 07-19-2008, 06:02 PM
 
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Yep, here's one of those mommy's in Europe saying "co-ed for everybody solves the problem"
Seriously, a lot of the pools here have a changing area. Just one.
Your kids learn that everybody has genitals. Perish the thought!! Of course it's bad manners to stare, of to make a spectacle out of being naked. But incedental nudity isn't a problem.

Mom of 4 aspiring midwife "Friend"ly seeker
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#75 of 75 Old 07-19-2008, 06:08 PM
 
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Originally Posted by mntnmom View Post
Yep, here's one of those mommy's in Europe saying "co-ed for everybody solves the problem"
Seriously, a lot of the pools here have a changing area. Just one.
Your kids learn that everybody has genitals. Perish the thought!! Of course it's bad manners to stare, of to make a spectacle out of being naked. But incedental nudity isn't a problem.
I think it's relative to your own particular microcosm.

For instance, the story above about the 2nd grade boy sneaking over to watch his friends' mother change clothes after being brought into the womans' dressing room just icked me out completely. Because I have friends and neighbors with boys that age and I could completely see that happening. Then it would turn into some bragging story that they told at school and my own kid would be embarrassed.

Because that's how it would be viewed in my country, in my town, in my neighborhood. Seeing grown women naked would be a big deal to the kids, even if it meant nothing at all to the women.
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