Here i am!!!!
I am a totally disorganized, chronicly sleep ddeprived mama of 4.But mine are spread out a little more than yours (10,7,4 and just 1 yesterday).
I have that feeling of being totally overwhelmed most of the time. Most of it is my own fault. i am NOT good at the home management part of being a mom. My 10 yr old is at camp for seven weeks, so thats one down, but my 7 yr old and four yr old are fighting constanly if i don't keep them occupied, and my 1 yr old is into EVERYTHING so needs constant supervision/direction. THe dishes from last nights dinner are in the sink, the bathroom needs to be cleaned and the laundry is piling up once again. The town beach is a usual distraction, but the weather has not been cooperating lately.
yesterday I needed to make cupcakes for dd's 1st b'day... my rough plan was to make them in the afternnoon,around 2ish.... well we finally finished decorating them at 8:30 last night. there was frosting and sprinkles and marshmellows everywhere, the baby was overtired and cranky and the last thing the 4 and 7 yo's needed was a big old cupcake. I was just so dissappointed in myself and so frustrated. Why can't i do this?
i constantly have the feeling that if i just had a moment to catch my breath i could do this... but it always seems just out of reach. i live in perpetual frustration and chaos.
I do have friends, but my closest friend is also a sahm of 4, has a beautiful house and goes shopping all the time..(I am POOR). She's fun to be around, our kids all are friends, but man she just makes me feel like more of a failure.
I get up ever morning thinking TODAY i will be in control. TODAY I will accomplish what I set out to do. TODAY my kids will learn something/do something worthwhile.... then 6:00 rolls around and I'm once again DONE.
So I hear you mama...you are not alone.