8 Year old outside alone? - Page 4 - Mothering Forums

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#91 of 96 Old 08-20-2008, 07:29 PM
 
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Originally Posted by choli View Post
It would have protected my a lot more if my mother had ever discussed with me what to do in such a situation than if she restricted my from normal childhood neighborhood activity.
Again, it's not one or the other. Why can it not be both?

I teach my children what is wrong/right, bad/good, safe/unsafe but I'm not going to let them go out and trust they'll be perfect in their choices and decision-making, PLUS I still do care about other people and their actions. Watching them and supervising them gives me a much clearer picture on how they are doing with their newly taught skills and allows me the opportunity to help them by knowing their successes or problems.

It's like, if I teach my children to read, I would learn much more about their ability by having them read to me than I would just looking at a graded paper from school about their reading. Ugh, it makes sense in my head, I hope the point came across.

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Originally Posted by Porcelain Interior
Trust me it's much more trying and stressful to have them in my hair almost 24/7 then say "Go out and play."
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Originally Posted by mamazee
I think it's important to remember that each of us makes a different risk assessment based on different issues specific to where we live, our families, our neighborhoods, etc.
Not for me. Like I said, I live in a very nice and quiet neighborhood. It's extremely quiet and everyone knows each other. My feelings come more from my personal experiences and DH's occupation.

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#92 of 96 Old 08-20-2008, 07:44 PM
 
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Originally Posted by SAHDS View Post
Not for me. Like I said, I live in a very nice and quiet neighborhood. It's extremely quiet and everyone knows each other. My feelings come more from my personal experiences and DH's occupation.
The "etc" encompasses your response.... you just confirmed what she said... you make a choice based no all the factors that apply to YOUR family and experiences. As in, we all make our own risk assessment. Your choice is right for you, not for everyone. That's all everyone is saying.

That doesn't mean the risk assessment other families make for their own families are not valid or are any less accurate for them.

Mom to Joscelyne 14, Andrew 12, and Mackenzie 10 and wife to Nate.
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#93 of 96 Old 08-20-2008, 07:49 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SAHDS View Post
I teach my children what is wrong/right, bad/good, safe/unsafe but I'm not going to let them go out and trust they'll be perfect in their choices and decision-making, PLUS I still do care about other people and their actions. Watching them and supervising them gives me a much clearer picture on how they are doing with their newly taught skills and allows me the opportunity to help them by knowing their successes or problems.

It's like, if I teach my children to read, I would learn much more about their ability by having them read to me than I would just looking at a graded paper from school about their reading. Ugh, it makes sense in my head, I hope the point came across.
It's not like we never supervise our kids. I spend plenty of time watching them, but there are some times when it's ok for a child to not be in the company of their parent, imo.
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#94 of 96 Old 08-20-2008, 08:34 PM
 
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On a related note, I've noticed my ds can be more careful about some things when I'm not with him. For instance, if we are walking together, he trots along without paying much attention to cars (because he feels safe holding my hand and going with the flow). But if we aren't walking together, he is much more careful. Being without me immediately nearby gives him practice with making judgment calls and is a valuable experience. And I'm always available for consultation.

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#95 of 96 Old 08-20-2008, 09:05 PM
 
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We live in a really eclectic urban area, close to downtown. My 8 yr old ds is allowed to roam on his bike within our immediate neighbourhood freely. He's not allowed to cross any really busy streets though, so he has approximately a 5 by 8 block area where he can go wherever he likes. He loves that he can just take his bike for a ride and I know that he would be easy for me to find if I needed to. He has a couple of friends that live within this area too. I'm happy for him to go over there but he has to call me if he's planning to stay. Unfortunately, quite a few of his pals and (both of our favourite parks) do live across busier streets. I think next year we'll let him go that bit farther. I figure he'll also be able to go down to the shops and run errands for us by then too! Yay:
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#96 of 96 Old 08-24-2008, 08:38 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by choli View Post
I've noticed some very weird attitudes among my RL friends regarding stranger danger and abduction. They really don't like it when you point out that the danger is very small. They react almost by putting their fingers in their ears and saying "LALALA I can't hear you".

It's almost as though they either WANT or NEED to believe that there is a huge danger of stranger abduction.
I know exactly what you mean. I've given up trying to discuss this stuff, just too frustrating.

Obviously with my kids being 3 and 1, they don't have freedom as yet ... but I hope not to restrict them TOO much during childhood/adolesence.
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