I want to say thank you for so much love and support on this issue.
I talked to his teacher this evening and she told me the full story. Evidently, he was already finished with his presentation and went back to his seat. The next student who went up noticed the puddle on the floor. They were trying to figure out how the floor got wet and then the teacher said she put two and two together. Then she asked my boy (in front of everyone) if he was feeling okay. And...bless his honest heart...he came clean in front of everyone and said, "I wet my pants".
She then told him that next time, if he has a pressing need, he can always interrupt and go use the bathroom. Then she sent him to the office and they called me.
He seems good this evening. It's been really low-key. I'm letting him lay low. We went out to eat at a favorite restaurant which is a nice change.
His dad gave him a pep talk and he seems okay with going back to tomorrow...especially after I told him what his teacher said about his presentation...It was the best one in the whole class!
She also added that his classmates were all very empathetic saying things like, "It's okay" and "I've done that before too".
So I'm going to play it by ear...if he seems stressed about going in the morning, I will keep him home. If he seems nonchalant, then I will be too.
I guess I was really worried because my sister was a bed-wetter and had accidents until she was an adolescent. It was horrible for her.
Appalachian mountain woman, radical homemaker, homeschooler, childbirth educator, and doula loving her DH and three powerful little femmes. Deladis 8-4-05, Ivy 4-28-08, and Gweneth 7-21-12 HBA2C! -
I don't know if I would let him stay home - it may cause more attention to be drawn to him. At the same time, my 7 yr old DS is very sensitive and I would probably break down and let him stay home. On a somewhat positive note - he probably will not be the only child this year to have this happen to him, and children can have short attention spans - something else will probably happen tomorrow to someone else.
Proud mother of my 11 yr old DS , expecting DD in March 2012 and engaged to bass player/land development extraordinaire
Yes, I did send him to school yesterday...only because he seemed okay with it. As we arrived at the school, he said he felt nervous but we took a few minutes to talk about how he was feeling and why. Then we rehearsed some replies he might say if anyone brought it up...mainly to the tune of, "Hey EVERYONE has accidents. Haven't you ever had a pee, poop, throw-up, breaking something, falling down accident?"
Only one of his friends made reference to it and he stood up from himself saying, "It's mean to make fun of someone's accident". That was the end of it.
Unfornately, this morning he woke me up because he had wet the bed...he was lamenting, "Oh no! I did it again." I told him it was okay...but that I think we should maybe visit a doctor (maybe a naturopath?) just to be sure that there isn't something wrong.
His teacher made him student of the week (that's something they regularly do) and he got to stand up in front of the class and give some fun facts about himself. That went well : )
He has been a little aggressive since the main incident but I suppose he's processing it in the way he knows how. We are all being a little extra tender with him.
It could be a lot of things, including diabetes or even just a urinary tract infection (not as likely in a boy than a girl, but still possible).
Anyway, like many of the folks on this board, I too have my own story from peeing my pants in elementary school (besides the getting diagnosed with diabetes incident). When I was in the 5th grade I was taking a test that was going to last through the whole 50 minute class I was in. I started feeling like I had to go about ten or fifteen minutes into the test. I asked to go, and my teacher turned down my request and said I had to finish my test first. I went back to my desk and tried, but of course the more and more I had to go, the less and less I could concentrate. I went back again, and the teacher yelled at me and told me I absolutely *had* to finish the test first. Of course by this point I couldn't concentrate at all, but not wanting to fail, I just sat there trying to figure out what the answers were. Eventually class was over and all the other kids went to the computer lab, but I was still sitting there. The teacher actually made me stay and finish the test, and finally after sitting there alone for ten or fifteen more minutes, I just turned in my test, telling her I had done all I could (I had only answered about half the questions, most in haste just trying to finish). I sprinted out of the classroom and ran-- against the rules-- down the hall to the bathroom. Just as I was opening the heavy bathroom door, I lost it. Pee trickled down my leg, and I felt my pants become wet. I dashed in, but it was too late.
I tried my best to dry off my pants with papertowels. Then I took my sweater off and tied it around my waste, and headed to computer lab. I was far too ashamed to tell anyone, though I was mortified when I got home and my older sisters told me they could smell it and that others must have known. Why my computer lab teacher didn't notice and/or intervene, I am not sure.
In any case, I am actually glad your son went to school. I think if he had taken a day off on account of it, he would have had more time to sort of work it up bigger in his mind and imagine fearful things happening when he returned. When my sister hacked all my hair off in a total botch job of a haircut around 5th or 6th grade, my dad forced me to go back to school the next day even when I said I felt sick (he said, rightfully so, that I was sick from anxiety, and that it wasn't going to get easier). My teacher let me wear a hat even though hats were against the rule, and eventually my beloved gym teacher coaxed me to take it off. I was terrified, but pushing through those fears helped me realize that I'd worked them up to be bigger in my mind than they actually were. Sure I got a few comments, but then they were over and done with and the kids moved on to all the other stuff going on.
To this day I have to remind myself that things are always worse when I stress about them in my mind than when they actually happen.
It sounds like the kids were super sweet about it, and that with the one kid who wasn't, like your son handled it BRILLIANTLY. Good for him!
It was awful...all of them had heart disease, kidney failure, blindness, amputations.
I've got to rule that out.
it sucks when we can't save them all the time, eh?
And as soon as I read diabetes, I remembered the girl in school who had accidents was the one who had diabetes.
I'm sure everything is fine, but it's best that you're looking into it.
DS, 10/07. Allergies: peanut, egg, wheat. We've added dairy back in. And taken it back out again. It causes sandpaper skin with itchy patches and thrashing during sleep. Due w/ #2 late April, 2012.
This happened to a boy at my daughters' school. I took him some new clothes we have in a locker for accidents like this or messy art or spilled lunch or whatever. (They were off site for PE.) Of course kids knew. When they got back, the teacher told them accidents happen to everyone, and that anyone teasing him would be in serious trouble. It was never spoken of again.
I hope your doctor appt goes well, and it is all soon forgotten.
The other students were very kind, though. No one really made fun of me. Well, for that anyway.
I couldn't read and not post. Ah memories.... this happened to me many a times in school (weak bladder) The strongest memory I had was in gym class the teacher wouldn't let me use the bathroom, so I sat. When she told me to get up I did and it all came out, all over the floor around me too. Imagine the sound of pee tinkle on a gym floor. I walked with my back to the wall in line and told my regular teacher who immediately gave me her sweater around my waist and walked me to the nurses station. ugh. so there I sit with nothing on my bottom (besides teachers sweater) while they put my pants and undies over the heater - lunch was out and kids kept walking by looking and saying oooooh whats that smell. my mom came eventually brought me purple undies and white pants - which was better than the other option.... a warmed up pee soaked sweat pant. No one said anything except one girl who was a meany-head anyway. BTW, the teacher was a student one and she was sent away after that (well, after my mom came and had mighty strong words for her)
I guess what I want to say is continue what you are doing to help him. Follow his leads in how he feels going back. Does he get along with most of his class?
We all survive pee accidents. Heck I had one today LOL after sneezing 15 times my pelvic muscles couldn't take it anymore!
OP: to you & your little boy! That's so heart breaking. How's he doing now?
Please see my Community Profile! about Asperger's Syndrome!
Always second grade... I think most kids just forget about it.
I had an accident in second grade too. We were outside for gym class and the teacher wouldn't let me go back in because there was no one to walk me in and watch the rest of the class, so during a squatting excercise it came out. Then he had the bright idea that it may be safe to have another girl from class walk me to the nurses station so at least we weren't walking back to the school alone... why didn't he think of that for the potty??
But I can't remember anyone making fun of me too badly, so it must not have been too bad. lol I was pretty embarrassed though.
I hope everything is okay with your little boy. He may have just been having a nightmare reliving the classroom incident too...
Or, ugh, I'm actually going to go there with this... I wet the bed off and on randomly up til sometime in middle school because my body had a hard time waking up or something, but I would dream about having to pee and going to a toilet and it would be SOOO vivid, and when I did wake up I'd be aboslutely mortified to find out the toilet was in my dream and I had actually wet the bed.
But yeah, maybe ask him if he was dreaming about anything and if so what?
Proud Single Mama, Birth & Postpartum Doula
Student, Aspiring CNM
DD ~ 1/7/09 DS ~ 9/22/10
Okay, update. He is doing just fine I did share some of the posts here with him and he got very perky and seemed to really get a self-esteem boost afterward. So, THANK YOU to all!
Oh, and although I am not a pants-wetter, I do have an embarassing problem since my babies were born (and I told him too). I can't hold gas bubbles as well as I used to This has proven to be embarassing when I am shopping and cannot exit to the next isle fast enough to remain anonymous to other shoppers
I get embarrassed and survive ALL THE TIME!