Parents of 3 yr. olds, post here (support thread)! - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

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Old 11-21-2008, 12:47 PM
 
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DS had skin issues also and I didn't bath him every day until he got into the pig-pen stage this summer.

Now that cold weather is here, we are back to two days between baths. This is just fine with me. Bath time is crazy at our house, DS goes nuts with his toys.

Mom to DS, born fall 05 after ,,, wife/best friend to DH We have
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Old 11-22-2008, 02:25 AM
 
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I'm joining in here.

My ds2 turned 3 in late October, and has been absolutely exhausting for the last month. He's so loud and in my face all the time! He's gone from being very laid-back to defiant and incredibly hyper. I've tried giving him more attention, doing more crafty projects with him, putting him to bed earlier...ugh!! He dropped his nap right around his birthday, and that just makes it worse. There is NO BREAK till my dh gets home at 6pm. I'm so glad it's the weekend now.

A happy woman
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Old 11-23-2008, 12:09 PM
 
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lol, so now I'm torn between relief (that 1)I am not alone in dealing with this and 2)Maybe this is developmental and not a result of my less-than -perfect parenting....) and a sense of OMG-this-might-last-another-YEAR???
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Old 11-23-2008, 01:32 PM
 
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re: skin issues...my ds has always had bad eczema, worse in winter. A few months ago he started refusing baths, so we tried giving him a shower instead, and he loves it (well, except for washing his hair, when he screams bloody murder). Anyway, it's done wonders for the eczema, his legs are almost eczema-free now.

We've been having a better week around here...I checked a few parenting books out of the library, good for us to try a few new cooperation/discipline techniques. My favorite new tool is "make something talk" from Kid Cooperation by Elizabeth Pantley. So now whenever ds is refusing to put his shoes on, refusing pajamas, refusing the potty, I make the object start talking in a funny voice ("hey, come over here and put me on!"). Ds thinks it's hilarious, and it works every time. It really lightens up the mood. I was just getting so angry and burned out....well, I still am sometimes, but I'm working on it.

Our quote of the morning: our newborn dd was crying this morning while ds was playing, and he started yelling, "Mom, turn that baby off!" :

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Old 11-23-2008, 07:16 PM
 
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oh he's driving me nuts today. We had a few *good* days there but we're back to the yelling, pickiness, aggression that seems to be the norm nowadays. He's downstairs now having a fit over his peanut butter sandwich... which is what he WANTED for lunch and never ate. We kept it for him for the next time he was hungry (now) and he's raging about how he HATES peanut butter sandwiches, he's never going to eat another one EVER! And asking for something else to eat. Well, sorry... some mamas might think I'm mean at this point...but I've been through this so many times now that I just tell him "look, you can eat your pb sandwich if you're hungry now, or you can wait until dinner." It's 4:10 so that's not going to be long. He's yelling "NO! NO!" and if anyone says anything he just yells more. I came up here to get a minute to myself because I feel that I don't have much left for him today.
Earlier he played with playdough for a long time. Sooooo creative. Talked the entire time, telling me all kinds of imaginative stories about what he was creating. He knew from the beginning that if he got it all over the floor he'd have to vaccuum with our little cannister vaccuum. (Something he enjoys doing usually). So it was time to clean it up and he says he "can't". I told him that if he can get it out... he can also put it away. That we're all responsible for our own stuff. I had to leave to pick my dd daughter up so I told him that by the time I got back I wanted to come into the kitchen and think "wow, ds really cleaned up the playdough well!!". And guess what? He had!!! But then naptime was a struggle, with him yelling I hate mommy! I hate daddy! etc. We don't allow the word "hate" in the house so we told him it was okay to say he was really ANGRY at mommy or daddy because that was what he was really feeling.
sigh... it's just never-ending and it gets to you after awhile.
I'd better go back down.
So glad this thread is here.
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Old 11-24-2008, 12:19 AM
 
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Ds2 has now started peeing his pants "just because I want to." :

He was soooo whiny and crabby all afternoon. I'm ready to institute a required nap time (or at least quiet time) every day. It's going to be such a huge battle, though.

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Old 11-24-2008, 12:52 AM
 
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of course, tonight, going to bed... ds doesn't want to go to sleep because he has bad dreams. I lay with him until he's sleeping. As we lie there he says "I love you" and I say "I love you too" and then he scootches as close to me as he can possibly get. We lie there for awhile and then he puts his hand in mine... and finally drifts off. It's as though he needs me to lead him into sleep by holding his hand. I feel badly that sleep is a scary place for him right now. His hand is so small... and I really do love him with my entire being.
Why must he be such a challenge during the day?! :
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Old 11-24-2008, 02:58 AM
 
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And the hardest part...she's so freakin' cute...I want to squish her with hugs one minute and just squish her the next.
Too true.

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Originally Posted by XanaduMama View Post
I'm just so tired about having the same battles every. single. day.
It's so tiring/exhausting.

Our battles here are getting him to not hit (doesn't help when ds1 hits him), getting him to settle down & not run around/jump on the bed/strangle his brother at bedtime & getting him to let us brush his teeth.

He's also going through wanting to be on me all the time, though he saves the sitting on the head for his brother. He's very, very affectionate and willing to help, but definitely doesn't want to stop doing things or be redirected to something else.

And he completely, utterly refuses to potty train. I know he's capable, but he just won't & tells me he doesn't want to. It'd be one thing if he had a problem, but he doesn't. He just can't be bothered. And he seems to be scared of wearing underwear for some reason, though pull-ups are fine. I really wanted to be done with diapers earlier this time, but he's almost as old as ds1 was when I finally found what would work to get him trained.

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Old 11-24-2008, 03:43 AM
 
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[QUOTE=NicaG;12666922]My favorite new tool is "make something talk" from Kid Cooperation by Elizabeth Pantley. So now whenever ds is refusing to put his shoes on, refusing pajamas, refusing the potty, I make the object start talking in a funny voice ("hey, come over here and put me on!"). Ds thinks it's hilarious, and it works every time. It really lightens up the mood. I was just getting so angry and burned out....well, I still am sometimes, but I'm working on it.

QUOTE]

Yes!!!! I have found that works quite a bit! I read this earlier and used it in the bath tonight when ds wouldn't wash his face or let me wash his blueberry stained face. It worked. Thanks!

While riding in the car today ds2 fell asleep so I moved from sitting in the back with the boys to the front. Ds1 freaked out. At first it was sweet he still wanted me back there to "keep him company" but then he started crying a bit, saying he was scared. He has been saying that a lot lately, he is scared to be in another room, scared to sit on the stool to eat, scared if I'm not in the bathroom with him during his bath (when last week it was fine for me to be in the bedroom), etc. It's tiring!

And what about when you are feeling annoyed about something they've done but they want you to give them hugs/comfort? Last week ds1 was so mad I wouldn't cut his orange the exact way he wanted it that second (had just arrived home from the park and I was making us a smoothie) that he threw a glass tupperware container off the counter and it shattered everywhere. I was so mad/stunned, it was hard to recover, and he wanted me to just hold him because it scared him. Oy!

Mary, Mama to 3 boys! 9/05 & 8/08 & 7/12
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Old 11-24-2008, 02:54 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hello Brave Parents!

NicaG This works wonders for washing my DS's hair: have him hold a wash cloth over his face while you are rinsing so that he keeps the water off of his face.

I found a really great book called "The Difficult Child." It's really helping me understand my DS a little better. I haven't gone through the evaluation in the book, but it's nice to read that my son's behavior is not necessarily due to inadequate parenting.
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Old 11-24-2008, 10:51 PM
 
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ohthankgodIfoundyou! where have you been, 3 year-old thread, these past months??

I really needed to read this today. Ds has been having a rough time of it--what's hardest is that he seems so unhappy when he's (fill in the blank--yelling no, refusing to eat the pineapple he just asked for, putting his foot on the table, shrieking...). The hardest thing to deal with is behaviors that are just plain annoying, or overly enthusiastic (like tackling other kids because you like them). We doubled our efforts this weekend to run early interference when ds starts fussing or doing the opposite of what we ask. We talked a lot about how to interact with other people. We thought it was really taking effect. We had an absolutely lovely weekend, and he was his normal charming self.

But then: today. At his Montessori preschool, they had one of the teachers shadow him all day, it was that bad. He screamed, he interrupted circle deliberately, he played the clown. I'm just heartsick about it. How do you get your kid to behave when you're not there?? I'm really worried he's going to get a reputation. His teachers seem very concerned--and this was the kid who three weeks ago they couldn't say enough good things about the parent-teacher conference.

Anyone have any successful tactics for addressing behavior for when you're not there??

I'm ready to have my sweet boy again, thank you very much. And 90% of the time, he's still with us. But that 10%, it pushes every single one of my buttons.

Oh, one thing that we've found works brilliantly: if ds is arguing about something, I'll often switch roles with him (as in, Okay, you be Mama and I'll be Mojo), and we talk through why he needs to take a bath/go to bed/eat dinner in a funny, humorous way. He clearly understands and hears what we're saying, because he can play Mama like nobody's business. He ends up talking himself into it every time. Seriously, it has yet to fail us.
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Old 11-25-2008, 12:15 AM
 
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: so glad i found this thread!

Kelly, :Mama to Kevin, 10/1/05 & Seth, 7/7/06. ::
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Old 11-25-2008, 02:27 PM
 
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This weekend was a little better.
But today, she had a melt down when it was time for me to leave her at pre-school. So frustrating, b/c I know she really loves it there, and she comes home telling me how much fun she had.
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Old 11-25-2008, 07:32 PM
 
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well, wouldn't you know it... my little guy was getting SICK. You'd think after 3 years of him I'd catch on that sometimes bad behavior = feeling yucky.
He's better today.
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Old 11-25-2008, 08:30 PM
 
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Originally Posted by NicaG View Post
...It's like every single thing you do during the day is questioned, challenged, rejected, changed slightly, subjected to complaints or whining...after a while you just feel sort of worthless, from being pushed around all day....I am really struggling not to just lose it and start yelling... I think I need to think of some things to do when I'm at the end of my patience--leave the room, start vacuuming (as someone suggested on another thread), what else?
As bad as it may seem, there have been two times in the past couple of weeks that I've had to walk away from my screaming, fit-pitching, attitude-throwing DD, and just pull the door behind me. I don't close it all the way, but it's enough to let her know I am tired of the scene and won't put up with it anymore. I simply HAVE to walk away or I will end up yelling uncontrollably.

Of course, this tactic always has the immediate opposite effect: DD then begins to screech that I am "leaving" and hurls herself upon me, but still won't stop with that loud... stuff... that I was trying to escape in the first place.

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Originally Posted by MrsAprilMay View Post
DD threw a screaming/hitting/kicking fit at Grandpa's today because I told her she couldn't have juice and offered her water.
Yeah. My DD turned 3 in Sept. She won't accept anything but juice or milk (I water her juice WAY down, so she's actually only getting about 25% juice in the cup - and she can't have more than one cup of milk a day due to poop issues). She "needs" juice to go to sleep, wakes up in the middle of the night and screams for it, and demands it at the butt-crack of dawn every day. : Don't give her the juice... and it's nuclear meltdown, every time.

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Originally Posted by catemom View Post
Yes, we've been having candy battles also. He wants skittles for breakfast, ice cream for lunch, etc.
DD wants "a treat" for breakfast. Every morning. We're still working on Halloween candy, no more than one piece every other day or so, as a reward... and that's what she wants first thing in the morning (with her juice, of course).

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I think there is some kind of link between highly intelligent parents and kids who really struggle with potty training. Some of our very smartest friends (IMHO) have the worst time getting their kids out of diapers. Hang in there!
I hope so. That would explain the "NO POTTY!!! NO POTTY!!!" reaction I get when trying to entice her to sit down on the new pink potty she got. No undies, no potty... and if I put her in panties, she just pees (or poops) and keeps on going with whatever she's doing, just like a diaper. She doesn't seem to care that she is wet, but when she's in a wet diaper she demands an immediate change. I can't figure it out.

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Originally Posted by Caneel View Post
Another thing I noticed with DS is his new need/desire to be on me all the time.

Not nice cuddling on the couch or sitting on my lap at the table, oh no, he wants to be ON me like trying to sit on my head, laying on top of me in bed, crawling up, over and down me when we are playing on the floor.
I wake up in the middle of the night, no less than 14 times every night, and move her off me. She lays ON me. Or with her head pressing on my kidneys. Or her feet on top of my head. Or the entire length of her 476-degree body plastered against my back, turning me into a sweaty (trapped) mess. I have the nursing 4-month old on the other side, so I ain't moving. It's just lovely.

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Originally Posted by allgirls View Post
And the hardest part...she's so freakin' cute...I want to squish her with hugs one minute and just squish her the next.

But it does pass. Punishment doesn't work. Boundaries don't work. Hugs, playfulness, fun, nature, reading to them, involving them in your day etc. helps but the only thing that works is time.
Yup yup. Right now she's being intelligent, articulate and adorable. Five minutes ago she was standing in the hall with her arms crossed, screaming that Bubba kicked her and demanding retribution (or at least a band-aid).

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Originally Posted by catballou24 View Post
...but oh goodness, don't tell her we are out of blueberries! :
Around here, it's grapes. We ran out of those today. I offered pineapple chunks as a substitute. They are currently drying out in a bowl on the table. She won't touch them. She also won't let me throw them away.

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Originally Posted by klt View Post
Another interesting thing about three year olds that I read is their interest in "wholeness" and noticing when things aren't complete. Like when a picture they are coloring tears, or a play dough animal breaks, they freak out "it's broken, fix it!" It's them developing their perception of "whole" and "complete." This made ALOT of sense to me when I read it, and they said activities like "I'm fixing the door mommy" while using a toy hammer or something start to appear.
DD says, "Oh no!!! It's WOUNDED!" when she has a paper doll that DS cut out for her that's gotten wrinkled. I have to smooth it out immediately. If it's ripped I have to tape it. She totally flips out when that happens and reacts as though her best friend was just hit by a truck.

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And he completely, utterly refuses to potty train. I know he's capable, but he just won't & tells me he doesn't want to. It'd be one thing if he had a problem, but he doesn't. He just can't be bothered..
DD wants nothing to do with it. Nothing. She's not afraid, but she does scream and yell when placed on the potty, just because she doesn't want to be there.

I have to say this thread has made me feel a lot better, especially about the potty training. I've handled other little girls before, and they weren't nearly as difficult. Even DS, who was almost 4 before he mastered the potty, wasn't quite as... dramatic... about not wanting to go.

Now... someone help me. This little girl of mine WON'T eat anything at supper. I could starve her all day (which I won't REALLY do, of course) and she still wouldn't eat. I have tried making her precisely what she asks for and that doesn't help. She flat-out refuses to take a nap, but will lay her head down on the table next to her plate and fall asleep at 6:30 pm. She won't touch breakfast 9 times out of ten either, but it's the no-supper thing that's bothering me. Today, all she's had to eat is two slices of cheese, a handful of grapes, 6 Doritoes, one pineapple chunk and two cups of juice. She's been offered breakfast and lunch, but she only picks at everything. I swear, she's gonna blow away in a strong breeze. :

Any suggestions to get little Miss Picky to eat??

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Old 11-25-2008, 09:51 PM
 
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As bad as it may seem, there have been two times in the past couple of weeks that I've had to walk away from my screaming, fit-pitching, attitude-throwing DD, and just pull the door behind me. I don't close it all the way, but it's enough to let her know I am tired of the scene and won't put up with it anymore. I simply HAVE to walk away or I will end up yelling uncontrollably.
Of course, this tactic always has the immediate opposite effect: DD then begins to screech that I am "leaving" and hurls herself upon me, but still won't stop with that loud... stuff... that I was trying to escape in the first place.
Now, your whole posting resonated with me. I just had to do this yesterday. The worst was that I had my DS2 screaming at me and crying all over in the bedroom after him not wanting to nap while my Dh and MIL were downstairs. (I had had him nursing and about 1 hour in my arms, asleep, before I 'dared' to try and put him in his bed at the footend...'). Whatever I tried after that, it failed. Even hugging (what was obvious what he needed) did have the reverse effect... He was also looking for daddy, when I told him his dad was downstairs, he lost it. He wouldn't want to go down either. Noone came to help us out. So I lost it too, I needed me to get away from the 'noise' I tried to be alone but couldn't. I asked him to pls go down to dad and leave me for awhile, and eventualluy closed the bedroom door. Not my best moment but I had no other way out for timeout for myself...
Then, FINALLY, Dh started to care what was the matter and got mad at me and said 'don't you SEE ALL he needs is a HUG???' Well, he knows perfectly well that at such a meltdown DS often directs his anger/frustration/yelling to one parent personally and that what mostly helps then is the other parent taking over/calming him down... Now that for once I was not alone at home in daytime with 2 kids, no-one seemed to even care and come and help out... That's what I told him too and got a more understanding attitude from him later.


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Originally Posted by SeekingSerenity View Post
Around here, it's grapes. We ran out of those today. I offered pineapple chunks as a substitute. They are currently drying out in a bowl on the table. She won't touch them. She also won't let me throw them away.
Bananas! LOL.

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Originally Posted by SeekingSerenity View Post
DD says, "Oh no!!! It's WOUNDED!" when she has a paper doll that DS cut out for her that's gotten wrinkled. I have to smooth it out immediately. If it's ripped I have to tape it. She totally flips out when that happens and reacts as though her best friend was just hit by a truck.
Yes. That. Wghat I find even harder to 'understand' is that my DS2 likes to damage stuff. I mean he's been tearing books, throwing stuff and toys, cutting cupboards with a knife he got hold of, drawing on the walls etc.... but he CAN'T have a cookie offered is broken or the carrot is not the right one, or the bread is falling apart (while he like taking it apart and then hardly eat any of it).
Anecdote: He noticed a 'scar' on my leg (blue spider vein) and said matter of fact 'mums leg is 'broken'! At least he did not want to try and fix it and I was glad for his oncern. This time no meltdown. Wow.
Another one: Whenever işt rained (the oast week LOL) he just HAS to take the brush out and wipe the STREET. LOL. I let him do even I'm very hungry by that time (after bringing DS1 to preschool) He can't get rid of the pools, he can't have me help him, he's so obsessed until his feet are sometimes soaking wet and then still I'll have to bring him in under large protest and a tantrum. At least he can be convinced to wait with the cleaning till AFTER we got DS1 to school....
And so on.

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Originally Posted by SeekingSerenity View Post
DD wants nothing to do with it. Nothing. She's not afraid, but she does scream and yell when placed on the potty, just because she doesn't want to be there.
I do not want to potty train my DS. Just wait untill HE takes some initiative as with DS1. DS1 did it in 1 month at 3y3m, totally out of diapers except on outings. Worked perfectly well for us. We let DS2 decide when he's totally ready, here I mean physically AND emotionally. Just let go of the wanting to 'train'. It will sort out itself, really. It is not worth daily struggles. 'Letting go' of it will have your child gain your trust on toiletting issues again and stop resisting in the future.

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Originally Posted by SeekingSerenity View Post
Now... someone help me. This little girl of mine WON'T eat anything at supper. I could starve her all day (which I won't REALLY do, of course) and she still wouldn't eat. I have tried making her precisely what she asks for and that doesn't help. She flat-out refuses to take a nap, but will lay her head down on the table next to her plate and fall asleep at 6:30 pm. She won't touch breakfast 9 times out of ten either, but it's the no-supper thing that's bothering me. Today, all she's had to eat is two slices of cheese, a handful of grapes, 6 Doritoes, one pineapple chunk and two cups of juice. She's been offered breakfast and lunch, but she only picks at everything. I swear, she's gonna blow away in a strong breeze. :
Any suggestions to get little Miss Picky to eat??
It seems to me that your LO just gets her the food (and amount) she needs at the time. You may notice that one day she may eat more dairy, another mostly nuts, another almost exclusively fruit, bread or whatever. I think we as parents think too much of having daily portions of all nutritients we 'need'. I believe now that our children's bodies have a way of regulating their own food intake. I let go of the 'food issue too. Out of experience. I was much more harsh on trying to get food into my DS1, who has been from 1,5-2 a very picky eater. I see now that he thrives on what he takes and I am sure to have nutrituous food AVAİLABLE. That often meaning having him eat some raw tomato/carrot and/or cucumber instead of other vegetable foods at the table. Or I offer those raw veggies during the day as snacks. That's a stepo forward, there's been times he would not want to touch tonmatoes and such LOL.
My DS2 does not eat always at mealtime lately (or chooses sth from the fridge other than we eat LOL), but he passes the day by 'snacking away' and if you actually LOOK at what he got, he will be just fine. One day he may seem to eat hardly anything, another he may not seem to stop :-). I make sure he can have access to food (like dry fruit, nuts, bread, fruit, yoghurt) and I do not prepare meals for him anymore unless he asks me too (or asks help). I mean that I let the initiative to EAT, TOTALLY up to him. So I may prepare my own breakfast, go and sit at the table and then he comes up to me to see what I've got and he asks for this or that (or just goes and get it). Perfectly possible that he chooses to eat (a food) when I'd offered (verbally) him a while ago and he plain refused. I think this is all about getting control over his own needs/wishes, food is one of them (in our case). I had a hard time in changing my focus on this food issue, believe me! But I sense that a CL approach to this is really working out for him/us. It means so much less struggles. Table time was often not a nice time considering the continuous opposite ideas about food intake... Now it got much more relaxed and nice family time. Still he is very demanding but we can tackle that by 'predicting' his moods/wants at the time (or getting a way around it LOL).
I nurse him too so that makes that I am sure he still gets good nutrition from my milk too.
Anecdote: Tonight he came back to the table to ask for a drink again. No, NOT his brother's left over juice, straight from the pack!!! Dh took DS2's glass, filled it with some of DS1's untouched juice when DS2 couldn't see for a sec (really he came to see what DH was doing IMMEDIATELY, LOL!), and then offered him. We both had a good laugh on that one!

Ok so yesterday was not so good, today was not so bad.

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Old 11-26-2008, 01:41 AM
 
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I do not want to potty train my DS. Just wait untill HE takes some initiative as with DS1. DS1 did it in 1 month at 3y3m, totally out of diapers except on outings. Worked perfectly well for us. We let DS2 decide when he's totally ready, here I mean physically AND emotionally. Just let go of the wanting to 'train'. It will sort out itself, really. It is not worth daily struggles. 'Letting go' of it will have your child gain your trust on toiletting issues again and stop resisting in the future.
Yeah, I'd like to be able to do that, but ds2 seems similar to ds1 in that way. Ds1 would still be in diapers if I hadn't pushed the issue. He still isn't wiping himself properly. Some kids are so reluctant to do anything new, they just won't, ever, unless you push them a bit.

Ds2 did sit on the toilet briefly today when I asked him to. Once. I guess it's at least a small step.

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Old 11-28-2008, 01:48 AM
 
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Oh man. Reading this I realize, my 3 y/o? The little one who's been a monster lately? Is just a normal 3 y/o. It doesn't mean I can't handle him or he's permanently got problems we'll never get sorted. It just means he's 3. Thank goodness you have all shared here. I am breathing such a sigh of relief. I'm almost in tears. Thank you. My 3 y/o is just being a 3 y/o, he doesn't hate me, he's just a toddler.
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Old 11-29-2008, 11:36 PM
 
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Hi all,
I have a little girl who turned three in October. She is making me question every aspect of my parenting. We use GD in our house, but she is so unruly lately and making life so difficult, I am starting to wonder if I need to find another strategy. I have a six year old boy with sensory issues, so I am used to tantrums, but she is just very defiant. I haven't had a chance to read through all of the posts, but Just wanted to introduce myself and say I am glad for the support!
Elle
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Old 11-30-2008, 01:59 AM
 
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Oh man. Reading this I realize, my 3 y/o? The little one who's been a monster lately? Is just a normal 3 y/o. It doesn't mean I can't handle him or he's permanently got problems we'll never get sorted. It just means he's 3. Thank goodness you have all shared here. I am breathing such a sigh of relief. I'm almost in tears. Thank you. My 3 y/o is just being a 3 y/o, he doesn't hate me, he's just a toddler.
Feels good, don't it? Yes, it is a relief to find out that our children are just being normal kids. I have often come on to MDC and had the very same thoughts that you posted above. What a relief! Still, it can be really hard though. We don't have to be perfect.

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I have a little girl who turned three in October. She is making me question every aspect of my parenting. We use GD in our house, but she is so unruly lately and making life so difficult, I am starting to wonder if I need to find another strategy.
This is what I found too, that my 3 y.o. dd responded better to more structure than to looser boundaries. Then she would just test test test all day long. When I put up firmer boundaries or clear expectations, she knows what to expect, still tests but is relieved to find they hold firm, and then tells me she loves me over and over for awhile. I firmly believe that one parenting style does not fit all, and you have to try different things if something is not working! I find that GD works sometimes, and sometimes I have to call out the rewards/consequences, etc. Good luck!

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Old 12-01-2008, 03:28 PM
 
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lol, so now I'm torn between relief (that 1)I am not alone in dealing with this and 2)Maybe this is developmental and not a result of my less-than -perfect parenting....) and a sense of OMG-this-might-last-another-YEAR???
Oh my goodness - this is exactly what I feel reading this thread. But I'm subbing. .... 3 is hard.

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Old 12-01-2008, 04:00 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Ds has been having a rough time of it--what's hardest is that he seems so unhappy when he's (fill in the blank--yelling no, refusing to eat the pineapple he just asked for, putting his foot on the table, shrieking...).

But then: today. At his Montessori preschool, they had one of the teachers shadow him all day, it was that bad. He screamed, he interrupted circle deliberately, he played the clown. I'm just heartsick about it. How do you get your kid to behave when you're not there?? I'm really worried he's going to get a reputation. His teachers seem very concerned--and this was the kid who three weeks ago they couldn't say enough good things about the parent-teacher conference.

Anyone have any successful tactics for addressing behavior for when you're not there??
My DS is having some behavioral problems that the teachers have made a huge deal over at his Montessori (I KNOW my kid is not even close to the worst they've seen, he is just loud sometimes). I am looking for another school (a non-Montessori) b/c I think that this school's environment is actually making his behavior worse rather than better. I am also beginning to suspect that this Montessori is completely unwilling to deal with anything but good little worker bees who are totally compliant.:
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Old 12-01-2008, 05:25 PM
 
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Urg...dh is switching to working nights this week. And I'm trying to keep the 3yr old quiet while he takes a nap. Have you ever tried to keep a three year old QUIET?? lol
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Old 12-01-2008, 05:36 PM
 
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re: skin issues...my ds has always had bad eczema, worse in winter. A few months ago he started refusing baths, so we tried giving him a shower instead, and he loves it (well, except for washing his hair, when he screams bloody murder). Anyway, it's done wonders for the eczema, his legs are almost eczema-free now.

We've been having a better week around here...I checked a few parenting books out of the library, good for us to try a few new cooperation/discipline techniques. My favorite new tool is "make something talk" from Kid Cooperation by Elizabeth Pantley. So now whenever ds is refusing to put his shoes on, refusing pajamas, refusing the potty, I make the object start talking in a funny voice ("hey, come over here and put me on!"). Ds thinks it's hilarious, and it works every time. It really lightens up the mood. I was just getting so angry and burned out....well, I still am sometimes, but I'm working on it.

Our quote of the morning: our newborn dd was crying this morning while ds was playing, and he started yelling, "Mom, turn that baby off!" :
LOL. Sometimes when my DS1 is in a really pricky mood and I make an object talk to lighten the mood, HE makes it BACKtalk. (It will say something like "NO MOMMY, <DS1> DOESNT want to put me on!" Then DS1 will say, "see, mommy, he says I can't put him on.") He's napping right now so I'm chilling out and I can have a good chuckle about it.
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Old 12-04-2008, 02:57 PM
 
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terrible morning here. wish I could do it over -- I can't control him, but I can control myself.

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Old 12-04-2008, 04:48 PM
 
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Our 3yo DS has recruited the cat in his attempts to push my patience to the breaking point.

Everything is "Al (the cat) doesn't want to take a bath" and "Al wants to read another book." or this morning, "Al wants me to stay in bed and rest for a little bit more."

This is interesting because until just very recently, DS seemed to really have no interest in the cats. Our female cat is sick and now DS loves the cats. He carries the male around like a baby and calls him Sweetie.

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Old 12-04-2008, 10:01 PM
 
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terrible morning here. wish I could do it over -- I can't control him, but I can control myself.
This was us today too.

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Old 12-05-2008, 01:22 AM
 
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Urg...dh is switching to working nights this week. And I'm trying to keep the 3yr old quiet while he takes a nap. Have you ever tried to keep a three year old QUIET?? lol

Daily!! My ds3 is SUPER sensitive to noise when he's falling asleep, so it's essential that my 3 y/o stays quiet while I'm nursing him down.

My secret?

Caillou

I figure the baby not getting a nap is potentially more hazardous than a bit of pbs.

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Old 12-05-2008, 01:20 PM
 
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My secret?

Caillou

I figure the baby not getting a nap is potentially more hazardous than a bit of pbs.
Heheh... my secret weapon is SuperWhy, also on PBS. It's how I get a shower on a daily basis. If I try to get in the shower when DD is NOT watching it, she absolutely freaks out.

Speaking of Caillou, thanks to her big brother, DD calls that show "Doofus-Caillou."

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Old 12-05-2008, 01:52 PM
 
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Heheh... my secret weapon is SuperWhy, also on PBS. It's how I get a shower on a daily basis. If I try to get in the shower when DD is NOT watching it, she absolutely freaks out.

Speaking of Caillou, thanks to her big brother, DD calls that show "Doofus-Caillou."
A bit off topic, but my ds is absolutely obsessed with Super Why! That show is so weird, but he loves it. He could watch one episode over and over again all day if I let him. We've been watching way too much tv here, because sometimes I'm just so tired in the mornings from my night with baby dd that I don't have any energy for anything else. The guilt!

Speaking of tv...my ds has discovered PBS Kids online, and now loves playing the computer games there. Is this better or worse than watching tv? Any other 3 year olds into this?

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