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#1 of 40 Old 12-03-2008, 12:55 AM - Thread Starter
 
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give me the low-down on pulling out. i have a history of not being very fertile. in fact, it's a miracle that i didn't get pg before i did, considering all the unprotected sex i've had. when we conceived our son, i had been charting my cycle for years & i knew enough about my body that i knew when i was ovulating. now, dh pulls out, not wanting another child, but refuses to use condoms. tell me what you know about the statistics of the pull-out method. tell me what you know regarding why it works or doesn't work. thanks!
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#2 of 40 Old 12-03-2008, 01:03 AM
 
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i think it works, depending upon the man. my DH and i used it for about eight years, no pregnancies. and he used it before me, too, ditto results. when he started coming inside, we got pregnant. what i've read on MDC, other threads, seems to support this theory. if the man is truly motivated, and aware of his body/response, and responsible to get it out in time, it works. this is a method of birth control that is entirely in the "man's hands."

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#3 of 40 Old 12-03-2008, 03:34 AM
 
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It's not generally reliable. I know someone who has 3 children that were unplanned & conceived using this method. If you truly don't want more children I wouldn't rely on it.

Surviving sleep deprivation one day at a time with dd (Oct '11) & ds (Oct '08).

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#4 of 40 Old 12-03-2008, 03:50 AM
 
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Worked for us for 4 years. The one time he didn't..... we have Gaius to show for it.
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#5 of 40 Old 12-03-2008, 11:42 PM
 
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Well...I'm 26 weeks pregnant now, but it worked every other time.
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#6 of 40 Old 12-04-2008, 06:37 PM
 
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Some of the charts give it the same failure rate as condoms...

Something to keep in mind is that, although the pre-ejeculate doesn't normally contain sperm, if the man has ejaculated recently and not urinated afterward, there can still be sperm inside the urethra that then get carried along with the pre-ejeculate.

Then of course there's the issue of whether he can stop in time. I suspect it generally works better if he withdraws well before "the last second" as I think that some ejaculate can come out before he necessarily feels that it is, if you follow... We sometimes use withdrawal, but DBF stops well before ejaculation.

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#7 of 40 Old 12-17-2008, 10:44 AM
 
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This is how I got pg the 3rd time, I wouldn't recommend it unless you are OK with having a baby if it fails.

: Wife, and grateful mama to DD : (b. 11/17/2006), DS (b/d 8/3/2004) and 2 sweet s
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#8 of 40 Old 12-17-2008, 10:49 AM
 
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It worked for my husband and I for years, then it didn't. Along came baby number four.
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#9 of 40 Old 12-19-2008, 07:56 PM
 
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It has worked for 6 years.

I would not be horrified if I got pregnant though....

I think it has a success rate of about 80%

If I really did not want to become pregnant, I would abstain during my fertile periods.

Kathy
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#10 of 40 Old 12-19-2008, 08:06 PM
 
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It really depends on timing. If he's last second sorta guy, your success rate is going to be smaller. My Dh has done great though! This little one was tried for, but we successfully used it for about 3 years.

Since you're already charting... would it be possible to abstain during ovulation? If so that's the route I'd go, since if any BC is going to fail, it's going to fail during ovulation.

Amri- mama to Indica 12.08.06 and Kytan 04.04.10
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#11 of 40 Old 12-29-2008, 09:27 PM
 
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#12 of 40 Old 12-31-2008, 01:51 AM
 
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Here's a chart that compares the failure rate of various birth control methods <http://www.contracept.org/risks.php>.

Amy loving DH 5/04, raising DD 2/05 and DS 11/09; missing my mom& my babies 6/07, 12/07; and on the side
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#13 of 40 Old 12-31-2008, 02:11 AM
 
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Depends on how badly you want to avoid pregnancy.

There was a point in my life when I knew I could NOT have a baby - at all. It would have knocked me so off course in terms of my life that I couldn't even think about it without terror.

So, anything short of condoms AND a copper IUD was unthinkable to me.

The pull out method, for me, was just unprotected sex.

Now that we're trying and I'm OK with a baby, my views have changed. I see the pull out method as less protection than condoms, but more protection than not pulling out.

However, I still don't view it as "real" birth control.

The danger in pulling out, really, is self control. Usually, there always comes that one time when he pulls out too late. And then you wind up with a baby.

First special delivery - April 2010 :
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#14 of 40 Old 01-02-2009, 02:28 PM
 
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It has always worked for me for going on 10 years... the only two times I have ever been pregnant is when he did *not* pull out and I am very fertile. The man has to have good control though.
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#15 of 40 Old 01-02-2009, 02:45 PM
 
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Originally Posted by lemongrass View Post
Well...I'm 26 weeks pregnant now, but it worked every other time.


I classify pull out as "not trying to NOT get pregnant". So not TTC, but not really TTA. Paired with a keen understanding of your cycle and your fertile/not fertile days, I can see how it could have a lower rate of failure, but unwrapped penis + vagina = a chance of pregnancy, and if you are both okay with that, then awesome.

Ivory, partner to Tom, mama to Ella (12/9/05), Alice (12/8/07), and our newest addition, Rebecca (4/1/10).
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#16 of 40 Old 01-04-2009, 05:43 PM
 
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Coupled w/ temping to know your fertile "window", I think it's a very effective alternative to hormonal BC. We used it for a year before beginning TTC#2.

Momma to DD (12/04) hearts.gif and DS (11/09) hbac.gif.
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#17 of 40 Old 01-06-2009, 01:39 PM
 
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has worked for us for 6 years, so far we have only conceived when we were trying to.

Wife to DH (9/02) Homeschooling Mama to DD1 (2/03) DD2 (11/06) DD3(9/10)
 
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#18 of 40 Old 01-06-2009, 04:29 PM
 
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The danger in pulling out, really, is self control. Usually, there always comes that one time when he pulls out too late. And then you wind up with a baby.
I think people can get falsely comfortable with this idea. My husband and I had the withdrawal method perfected. There was never a time that he pulled out too late. We still ended up with baby number four.

FWIW, the statistics say the failure rate of the withdrawal method is 27%.
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#19 of 40 Old 01-09-2009, 02:41 PM
 
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We started using it after we go married and got to the "We are not 100% ready but if it happened it would be OK" phase. Worked for us for a year. I think it does have everything to do with how well your husband knows himself and if he is willing to eer on the side of responsibility

I guess that preejaculate can contain some sperm so ideally pull out would be before that... You can time how far before your husband does that and ... well by other means...

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#20 of 40 Old 01-11-2009, 10:19 AM
 
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we've been usig the withdrawal method for 11 years now, and never got pg from it. the first two kids were tried for, and the third was a drunken "oohh, shit... i think i just..." but now that we have three, he's back to being very vigilant about withdring in time. i honetly cannot imagine getting pg from it. those people who got pg from it... did your dh REALLY pull out in time? REALLY?! (i ask this, b/c i want another, but dh doesn't, but will not get fixed, so i'm hoping for a withdrawal method failure to get pg again!)

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#21 of 40 Old 01-11-2009, 10:21 AM
 
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Originally Posted by sunnysideup View Post
I think people can get falsely comfortable with this idea. My husband and I had the withdrawal method perfected. There was never a time that he pulled out too late. We still ended up with baby number four.

FWIW, the statistics say the failure rate of the withdrawal method is 27%.

so, he always pulled out in time. then one day... what? you missed a period? what happened? can you tell, i'm really hoping to have this happen to me!

and by "faliure rate", do you mean gettting pg from withdrawing, or failure of dh to withdrawal in time?

Keri ~ Wife to dh Mommy to dd 11 whistling.gif ds 9 bouncy.gif  dd 6 1/2 kid.gif 
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#22 of 40 Old 01-11-2009, 01:06 PM
 
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There is a small amount of sperm in the pre-cum, which you will get inside you when you have unprotected sex. But they say you need a large enough sperm count for a sperm to actually reach the egg.

My husband and I have been using this method for 6 years, he is also really careful that he pulls out...I'd say 2-3 seconds or more before he starts to cum.

There are other methods of bc, besides condoms or bc pills, have you tried spermiced? Also you might want to ask him why he doesn't like condoms, is it because they reduce the amount of feeling during sex, or are they uncomfortable (to tight, ect.)? If you find out the reason you might be able to find a sutable condom.

Hope this helps
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#23 of 40 Old 01-11-2009, 01:16 PM
 
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we've been usig the withdrawal method for 11 years now, and never got pg from it. the first two kids were tried for, and the third was a drunken "oohh, shit... i think i just..." but now that we have three, he's back to being very vigilant about withdring in time. i honetly cannot imagine getting pg from it. those people who got pg from it... did your dh REALLY pull out in time? REALLY?! (i ask this, b/c i want another, but dh doesn't, but will not get fixed, so i'm hoping for a withdrawal method failure to get pg again!)
Yes, DH did pull out in time. But we also did it on the day I started ovulating (that was our mistake)!
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#24 of 40 Old 01-11-2009, 01:45 PM
 
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so, he always pulled out in time. then one day... what? you missed a period? what happened? can you tell, i'm really hoping to have this happen to me!

and by "faliure rate", do you mean gettting pg from withdrawing, or failure of dh to withdrawal in time?
Yep. He *always* pulled out in time. Always. We used this method for more than a decade and DH was skilled at it. In 11 years we had never had a misfire. Then one day I noticed my breasts were tender, and realized my period was late. Took a HPT and it was positive.

The funny thing was, we were going through a bit of dry spell in our sex life, and the *one* time we had had sex that month was the day after my period. I was absolutely stunned to find out I was pregnant.

As someone else said, there can be a small amount of sperm in the pre-ejaculate. All it takes is one good swimmer

I now consider the withdrawal method to be unprotected sex.
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#25 of 40 Old 01-11-2009, 02:00 PM
 
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Used it sucsesfully for 12 years and counting

Mommy to our Twin Miracles babygirl.gifbabyboy.gif born on 29/1/12

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#26 of 40 Old 01-11-2009, 02:51 PM
 
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what got me thinking about all of this was we dtd last week, and then the next day i had alot of ewcm. i haven't had that in years, as i haven't had ppaf yet, and my last af was october 2006. so, when i had a lot of ewcm last week, i was like hmmm... i wonder if women ever REALLY get pg from using the withdrawal method. well then, i'm just going to go back to believing that if God truly wants us to have another, it'll happen using the withdrawal method.

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#27 of 40 Old 01-11-2009, 05:26 PM
 
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Jee'smom--- I am so there with you! We have been using POM for 8 years and I am that Wify that is waiting for that day (OH I missed my period) I have 2 Loved babies just from not pulling out intime!! It works when you use it. But I would love it to not Work 100% for us one of these days!( I get that % from if it worked for you that month then it was 100%) but if it doesn't it is that 27% that Fales) Something like that?
In about a Year!!! So we will see Dh is ahead of that area of Child Population in our home!

Daughter (7.5) Son(5) and Husband of 9 Years!!  saynovax.gifhomeschool.gifwaterbirth.jpgh20homebirth.gif
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#28 of 40 Old 01-11-2009, 11:26 PM
 
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what got me thinking about all of this was we dtd last week, and then the next day i had alot of ewcm. i haven't had that in years, as i haven't had ppaf yet, and my last af was october 2006. so, when i had a lot of ewcm last week, i was like hmmm... i wonder if women ever REALLY get pg from using the withdrawal method. well then, i'm just going to go back to believing that if God truly wants us to have another, it'll happen using the withdrawal method.
"...or the condom will burst like a bubble," said the girl whose dh had decided no more, though she longed and prayed for another.

We've not had any kind of bc failure in 13 years of marriage (though many of those years were spent not avoiding...still!). Pray that God will change your dh's heart, too.

Tracy, doula and Army wife and homeschooling mama to A and E
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#29 of 40 Old 01-14-2009, 10:04 AM
 
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My SIL had three pregnancies all from pulling out. One ended in m/c but the other two are now my niece and nephew. It worked for them for about 2 years, then didn't, obviously.

Needless to say, after the 3rd pregnancy, she got on the pill.

7/09 at 7 weeks - love you peanut
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#30 of 40 Old 01-14-2009, 03:34 PM
 
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so what do you make of that then? was her dh just not very good at using the method? ive used it for 12 yrs., and never got pg from it. (maybe he had "super sperm"?)

Keri ~ Wife to dh Mommy to dd 11 whistling.gif ds 9 bouncy.gif  dd 6 1/2 kid.gif 
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