Can I really be pregnant? Maybe TMI in this post... - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 14 Old 08-18-2010, 03:24 PM - Thread Starter
 
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So I feel kind of embarrassed explaining this, but here goes: I have been using the FAM method for birth control for 7 months and am positive I had my cycle down. My husband and I went away (we have a DS, 2.5 years old) and during this time, I know I was fertile, so we fooled around and there was some penetration, but only for a few minutes and he did not ejaculate in me. Now I'm on day 35 of my cycle and usually my cycles are only 25-28 days. I took a pregnancy test yesterday which came back positive.

Really? Can this really happen? I remember reading in all the teen magazines when I was younger that pre-ejaculatory fluid can contain sperm, but now being older and wiser, have remembered hearing that there is no sperm in pre-ejaculation fluid.

We were trying to avoid getting pregnant. I had some complications with my last pregnancy and am terrified of being pregnant again. Any insight?
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#2 of 14 Old 08-18-2010, 08:06 PM
 
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Yes, it can happen. We use The Creighton Model Fertility Care system for NFP which is a method where you abstain during fertile times and our practitioner was very direct with us that we could have no genital genital contact or hand genital contact during fertile times if we are avoiding even if the man does not ejaculate, she and other practitioners have seen more than a handful of PG result from indirect contact even without ejaculation.

Sorry you had to find out this way! Best of luck to you and I hope this PG does not have the complications like your last. I can't imagine how stressful that must be to think about right now.

Sarah
Mommy to three girls DD 6, DD 3.5,DD 8/2011 & new babe 3/2013, 2 angel.gif's 1/2008 and 8/2010

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#3 of 14 Old 08-18-2010, 09:01 PM
 
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Yes there most definitely is sperm in the pre-ejaculate. Sorry you found out the hard way! Good luck on a safe pregnancy!

Miranda

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#4 of 14 Old 08-18-2010, 10:16 PM
 
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Your teen brain was smarter than your wiser brain. You are pregnant-here's to a safe pregnancy!
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#5 of 14 Old 08-18-2010, 10:25 PM
 
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The only way there is sperm in pre-ejac is if he ejaculated within so many hours without peeing first. It is a myth that they are automatically present. Withdrawal has a proven effective rate the same as condoms - the problem is the user failure is a lot more common ( - having sex more than once a "session" and hence the swimmers being present in the tubes...or not withdrawing in time).

Was it a pink dye test you took?
Did you dtd any other time during your current cycle?
Are you temping?

Jenn (36), wife to DH for 13 years, DD1(13) , DD2(10) and DS(4)

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#6 of 14 Old 08-18-2010, 10:29 PM
 
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Lol, all suggestion above are correct
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#7 of 14 Old 08-19-2010, 12:12 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I took a "First Response" home pregnancy test - a digital one. Sorry, it that what you are asking? I'm not up on all the lingo

We did have intercourse about 7 days before I believe I ovulated, so now I'm thinking maybe some super sperm hung out for 7 days and found my egg.

I do temping, but we went out of town, so I just went by my cervical fluid, which was very creamy (I usually don't get eggwhite) that day. From the time we left and from when I started taking my temp again (about 4 days) there was a thermal shift, so I know I ovulated sometime on the trip.

I know he didn't ejaculate inside, for sure, because we, um, did that another way...

Any other thoughts?

BTW, my husband is not excited about this at all. Not that I am thrilled, but I am dealing. He is mostly worried about the financial part - my health insurance does not have maternity coverage and his is super expensive. I'm worried about what this will do to our marriage
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#8 of 14 Old 08-19-2010, 12:26 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HulaJenn View Post
The only way there is sperm in pre-ejac is if he ejaculated within so many hours without peeing first. It is a myth that they are automatically present. Withdrawal has a proven effective rate the same as condoms - the problem is the user failure is a lot more common ( - having sex more than once a "session" and hence the swimmers being present in the tubes...or not withdrawing in time).

Was it a pink dye test you took?
Did you dtd any other time during your current cycle?
Are you temping?
Kind of a myth.

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/12286905

"PIP: A study in Boston, Massachusetts, and another study in New York City examined samples of pre ejaculate fluid from HIV seropositive and HIV seronegative men to determine whether HIV was or was not present in pre ejaculate fluid. The researchers found macrophages and CD4 lymphocytes in most samples, indicating that HIV was present. The more significant finding, however, was that most pre ejaculate samples did not contain any sperm and those that did had only small clumps of a very small amount of sperm which seemed to be immobile. A larger study is needed to verify these results. If these results are confirmed, they may dispel the myth that pre ejaculate fluid contains sperm. An ongoing WHO/USAID study shows that the pregnancy rate caused by men with 3 million sperm/ml/ejaculation is very low; fertility clinics consider men with a sperm count of no more than 5 million/ml to be infertile, particularly if is there is low motility. The average ejaculation has about 100 million sperm/ml, but about 10 million sperm pass through the cervical mucus, about 1 million make it to the top of the uterine tract, and just about 100,000 sperm reach the fallopian tubes. Thus, only a couple of sperm, assuming motility, would reach the fallopian tubes in the case of the pre ejaculate samples with some sperm, which tended to be immobile (sperm levels only in the 1000s). Thus, the probability of pregnancy is very low if pre-ejaculate fluid enters the vagina. Pre-ejaculate fluid of 6 of the 9 HIV seropositive donors in Boston and 6 of the 14 HIV seropositive donors in New York contained HIV, regardless of symptom status or antiretroviral therapy status. Thus, the risk of HIV transmission may be higher than unplanned pregnancy, so people should use condoms before the penis enters the vagina, mouth, or anus."
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#9 of 14 Old 08-19-2010, 12:32 PM
 
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I think part of the confusion around pre-ejaculate is related to the misconception that the male orgasm and ejaculation are the same thing. Just because he did not orgasm during penetration doesn't mean that no ejaculate came out.

I hope things work out well for you and your husband!

Married to my wonderful DH 5/2010, Mom to DS1 Kayden 7-14-2011 wild.gif and DS2 Jakob 8-29-2013 babyf.gif


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#10 of 14 Old 08-19-2010, 12:38 PM
 
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Check out buying individual insurance coverage. Depending on what state you are in, the cost can be quite low. Just make sure they will cover your pregnancy and not limit you because it's a "pre-existing condition." Also, a homebirth with a midwife is MUCH less expensive than a hospital birth. However, if you had complications last time I would understand if you were tentative about that. Best of luck with everything!

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#11 of 14 Old 08-22-2010, 10:07 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for the advice, but I have an individual insurance plan and I called to see about adding maternity coverage...there is a 12 month waiting period! WTF? So that's not going to work out...Insurance sucks. I applied for our state health care program (we are in WI), so we'll see what happens with that...
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#12 of 14 Old 08-23-2010, 11:54 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sumada View Post
Thanks for the advice, but I have an individual insurance plan and I called to see about adding maternity coverage...there is a 12 month waiting period! WTF? So that's not going to work out...Insurance sucks. I applied for our state health care program (we are in WI), so we'll see what happens with that...
I was going to suggest you check into the state plan too. I know in Ohio women making 200% or less of the poverty level are covered for maternity. Also, children of those families (but not the parents) For a family or 3 ( you mentioned it was you, DH and one DS is $3052/mo, if they count the baby as 4 I can't remember if they do, it's $3675/mo)

Good luck and I hope your pregnancy goes well!

I'm crunchy... Like a Dorito.
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#13 of 14 Old 08-23-2010, 10:32 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sumada View Post
Thanks for the advice, but I have an individual insurance plan and I called to see about adding maternity coverage...there is a 12 month waiting period! WTF? So that's not going to work out...Insurance sucks. I applied for our state health care program (we are in WI), so we'll see what happens with that...
I just want to send out hugs. It's crap that you can't get insurance coverage for your pregnancy!!! That's one thing I do like about where i'm from (Alabama) there's a law in our state where NO ONE can be refused for maternity coverage. I had just started my new job when I found out I was pregnant with my little bundle of joy who's due December 14th and I was TOTALLY freaked out at first....but as soon as my coverage started so did my maternity coverage....and I was so greatful! I'm covered for as many u/s's as the doctor feels I need, as many visits as i need, and as much blood work as they need to do. I only had to pay my $200 deductable to BCBS and i think there's only another $150 that will be due when i pre-register for the hospital stay when I have the baby. I really really wish there was a way to get EVERY state to adopt that law because it's the best one i've ever heard of. I really hope that you can get help through your state health care program!!!!!! BIG BIG HUGS!!!!!

s s s

Brandy(28) mommy to Jayde (12/14/03) and Emma Mattilynn-Gail born 12/06/10 and Loving wife to DH (32)! TTC#3 since April 2011! Missing our little angel.gifs that we lost so early 7/11 & 11/11! Praying to get our rainbow1284.gif babyf.gifsoon!

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#14 of 14 Old 08-28-2010, 03:33 AM
 
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I think the "answer" is anytime a boy part comes in contact with a girl part, by whatever means, you run the risk of a family addition. The universe rolls that way.



Congrads on your pg and I hope it goes smoothly for you!

Resistance is futile Matey
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