Parents of more than one How Far Apart Are Your Babies? - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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#31 of 43 Old 12-23-2010, 09:27 PM
 
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Oldest & middle are 4 years 4 days apart.  Middle & youngest are 20 months apart.  I do not recommend the latter, lol.  At least not if you're easily stressed and struggle with patience like me.  I loved the 4 year age gap between my older two.  We're TTC right now, and #3 and #4 will be just over 4 years apart if we conceive pretty soon.

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#32 of 43 Old 12-23-2010, 09:37 PM
 
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my first two are exaclty 2 years apart... well and 24hours and 2 minutes....lol  ds2 will be 29 months when this baby is born. I really like the two year spaceing. they get along really well and play greatly together


SAHM to D ( 10/06 ) A (10/08) & C (03/11)
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#33 of 43 Old 12-24-2010, 08:26 AM
 
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My DDs are 2 years, 2 months apart and we wanted them pretty close.  The only downside, that I see, is that my milk dried up and DD1 was only 18 months.  She continued to nurse and now I am tandem, so it seems to have worked out.  I am wanting the next 2 to be about the same spacing as well.


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#34 of 43 Old 12-24-2010, 02:03 PM
 
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#35 of 43 Old 12-28-2010, 08:10 PM
 
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babies one and two are 24 mins apart (twins!).  then there is an 8 year gap before ds #3, then 2 years and 5 days later, dd (kid #4.)  now my youngest is 12 and my oldest two are almost 23 years old, and im expecting #5.  i can see advantages to having them close (you are in the groove, have all the stuff) and spread out (more undivided time with each, they can help out with younger sibs.) 


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#36 of 43 Old 12-30-2010, 07:32 PM
 
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I have 3. My oldest Ds#1 was 2yrs 5m when my second was born. When my third was born DD#2 was 3yrs 2m and DS#1 was 5.5yrs. Both times worked out just perfectly for us. Each of them being from my perspective ready for a sibling,and too to being an older sibling without much issue.  We are planning number 4 and looking at trying to conceive in the fall for a summer 2012 baby. Our youngest would be just turning 3.  so they would be:: just born, 3yrs, 6yrs, and 9yrs...born in 03', 06', '09 and '12  and in all 4 seasons :) yeah I have some weird math stuff going on in my brain :) Now I know where my son gets it from LOL!

 

Munchiesmom: I was anxious about how my oldest would react to the new baby, but only a little, he loved my belly, loved talking to his baby sister inside, kissed my belly goodnight even, he was so loving already... I knew he would love her on the outside too. I never felt like I didn't have enough love for them both or that he would be shortchanged, maybe a little but not really. Maybe if he was still a baby himself(under 18m) or if he was much older (4+yrs) I would have felt different.  I think spacing at least the first 2 around 3 years has many benefits to the family, but ultimately  it depends on your own child, you and your spouse.
 

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#37 of 43 Old 01-04-2011, 07:22 AM
 
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I'm happy to hear the variety of experiences on this board. We conceived DS easily, but waited to TTC #2 til we were back on our feet, rebalanced and restored. I assumed it would be just as easy to create a second, and that I would have control over my child spacing. I had friends with DCs 1.5-2 year child spacing and it looked tortuous! I feel my relationship with DH couldn't have sustained the stress! 

 

But now... like someone said, I am grieving the loss of the dream of child spacing I had in mind. Every BFN cycle, I have to remind myself that it is fine: fine to have more child spacing, fine that the process is taking longer than I'd imagined, fine that DS doesn't have a sibling yet. I fear that as every month goes by, my DS and my hopeful 2nd will be less and less connected. But I have to remind myself that there are SO many other variables to sibling connection than age spacing. 

 

It's been a year and a half of trying for #2. Every month as my cycle ends, I get so sad. But I start back up again, patience renewed and hopeful optimism restored. It gets draining, though, the constant mental training I must engage in to keep from being saddened.

 

I definitely feel like I'd like that 2nd pregnancy already!!!!!


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#38 of 43 Old 01-05-2011, 01:49 PM
 
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DD1 was just shy of 4 when DD2 came along after a year of TTC. DD1 was queen of the world, and we wanted #2 sooner so that she would learn that the universe doesn't revolve around her sooner rather than later, but that wasn't in our cards. (My brother is 4 years older than me, and he is almost STILL basically an "only child" who wishes for the "good ol' days" before I came along!)

As is, this couldn't have been more perfect. DD1 was old enough to get excited about her new sibling, and she loved her from the get-go without a second of jealousy! She's also more independent, so I can leave her coloring downstairs while I go change a diaper, etc.
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Originally Posted by MunchiesMom As you experienced mamas went on to have your second and third children, did you know of go through a grieving process about loosing the relationship with your first child? Did you ever feel like you were shorting your only child by wanting additional children?

Not exactly. DD1 has always been crazy independent, so that I'm very aware of my limited time with her. In other words, she's going off into the world little by little and separating from me, even as I intentionally add 1-on-1 time in daily and try to hold onto her. But seeing how these girls look at each other, I know that the gift of a sibling outweighs any loss of mommy time she might feel.

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#39 of 43 Old 01-05-2011, 02:07 PM
 
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I'm odd too I guess! DD1 and DD2 are 19 months apart(planned), DD2 and DD3 are 14 months apart(unplanned), DD3 and new baby will be 19 months apart(planned). I love having them close. I never get out of the baby phase, so that is easy. I always have everything I need, so I save a lot of money. We are done having babies now though!
 

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Originally Posted by elisheva View Post

Wow lots of planned and unplanned far-apart spacing! I guess I'm in the minority. My first two are 20.5 months apart. #2 and #3 are 14 months apart. #3 and #4 will be, Gd willing, 19 months apart. Then we're done :)

 

Now that dd (aka #3) is walking, I'm feeling overwhelmed. We didn't plan the 14 month age gap but in retrospect it's fine. Things will be super crazy for the next 2+ years until everyone is a little more self-sufficient and I'll have to learn to ask for help (and learn to understand whether people are actually offering 'help' and not just 'offering'...but that's another post). I'm hoping if I can keep it all together enough that they will end up best friends.




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#40 of 43 Old 01-06-2011, 09:00 AM
 
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DS1 and DS2 are 12 months apart (unplanned).  Personally, I would advise against that close in age - and if you are nursing I think it would tough to get them that close in age. But I was unable to breastfeed without supplements and PPAF came at 8wks with my first.  DS1 was not even 4mths old when I got pregnant with DS2.  The pregnancy, and first year of having 2 under 2 was pretty tough - But I am a fulltime WOHM so that may have added to the stress.  Now that they are 2.5 and 1.5 it is getting easier, and they have become fast friends and mischeif makers.

We are planning when to TTC again and thinking that a 3 year age gap between DS2 and #3, would be good.  And it seems from the rest of this thread that many of you also prefer the 3 year age gap.  I would love to have them both out of dipes before the next one comes, but we shall see what life has in store for us.


Mama of 3 little boys - DS1 4/08, DS2 4/09, DS3 12/11

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#41 of 43 Old 01-06-2011, 09:07 AM
 
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Our kids are 26 months apart.  Originally we were thinking more like 5 years, since I have a few friends doing it this way and it seems to work for them.... but then I lost my job and was unemployed last year, so we decided to do the whole pregnancy thing without having to deal with maternity leave, working etc.  My husband kind of wanted it this way anyway so we could get all the baby-having done while all the gear was still around, and then move on.

 

So far my older one LOVES LOVES LOVES her younger sister, to the point that it can be overwhelming for her younger sister. If my older one is near a tartrum, often if we just bring the little one in the room it diffuses the escalation.  It is hard work with such little girls right now, but I hope it will pay off with them being close as they get older.... time will tell.

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#42 of 43 Old 09-12-2011, 02:31 AM
 
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We are ttc our second. Our DS is 5 months old. I know it sounds crazy, but my brothers were 13 months apart and they were very close. My older sister is 7 years older than me, and I feel like she isnt as close. The oldest of my two younger brothers is 4 years younger than I. I dont feel particularly close to him either. We only were ever in the same school  for two years in elementary school. I want my babies to be close :)

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#43 of 43 Old 09-12-2011, 09:36 AM
 
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Just beware your milk supply may not survive past the first few months of your preg. Every woman is different so YMMV. I lose my supply totally at13 weeks.


"So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we’ll change the world." - Jack Layton
 
 
 
   

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