Has anyone else regretted a vasectomy? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 31 Old 01-23-2011, 11:54 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi - I was jsut wondering if anyone else has been through what I'm going through now.

 

7 years ago my husband and I agreed to proceed with his vasectomy deciding never to have children. I was tied up in my past with abusive parents and so terrified of their influence decided not to have kids.

 

Howver, 2 years ago I had a total mental breakdown and through extensive therapy have slowly found myself free from my past.

 

My husband and I have talked extensively, he is 40 now and I'm 39, and have decided we want a baby of our own. I can't believe it! We have decided to get the vasectomy reversed however it will cripple us financially at a cost of £2,500. We feel this is totally worth it - however there is no guarantee that at 39 I am going to be successful in getting pregnant. A huge gamble.

 

He's booked in on the 14th Feb - really close.

 

Has anyone else been here? I just need some support and advice from anyone else who's been through this, Maybe been here and got wee ones of their own? It would be so encourging to hear any successful stories.

 

Many thanks.

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#2 of 31 Old 01-31-2011, 05:19 PM
 
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Hi, I have moved your thread over to Fertility, you might get more responses there!
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#3 of 31 Old 02-10-2011, 09:02 AM
 
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My husband had a vasectomy almost a year ago after 2 doctors warned us that if I were able to maintain another pregnancy (had 5 miscarriages), I would need to be prepared to do a very early c-section to ensure I survived. I had extensive damage from the 2 babies I had delivered, so another pregnancy would be really risky. The last doctor I saw mentioned that I should consider sterilization. The miscarriages had been very hard on us and then all this was happening so my dreams of having a big family were shattered and my heart broken. My amazing husband told me he wanted to get a vasectomy so that I didn't have to go through any more than I already had.

He had the vasectomy and not a day goes by that I don't feel a hint of sadness about it. Even though I KNOW we didn't really have much choice in the matter. But the blessing of it all is that we will be adopting, so we are not done building our family smile.gif
So, if you feel like you are ready to be a parent, go for it. And just fyi, the kid will be MUCH MUCH more expensive than the vasectomy reversal, so be prepared for that.
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#4 of 31 Old 02-10-2011, 09:59 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you so much hon. x

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#5 of 31 Old 02-10-2011, 10:13 AM - Thread Starter
 
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LOL! My husband has already said the littlin will cost more than a new motorbike, and he's still ok with going ahead! The baby won't cost much as my sister has all of the baby stuff we'll need thankfully, and a few of my friends are pregnant now so I'll have their cast offs too. I'm very fortunate.

 

We'll be out of debt by the time the baby arrives, and financially secure. Thankfully being 'older' we've made our financial mistakes while we were young and have planned our finances meticulously with this. My husband's family are also very supportive and I know our littlin will always have everything he or she needs.

 

We've been up and down over the last few months - have discussed this with the closest friends and family only. We've finally decided to go ahead with it now - he's actually booked in for this Monday, Valentine's day!

 

We're now re-aranging the house, moving bedrooms, redecorating, etc etc. I'm so clucky - it's unbelivable. I know I'm running ahead with myself, I'm taking the right 'trying to conceive' vitamins although we won't be able to start trying for 3 weeks, and I won't be fertile until 4 weeks anyway as I'm ovulating now.

 

I've also read the book 'taking charge of your own fertility' by Toni Weschler. This book is amazing. I honestly didn't know I could still be fertile - it's blown my mind and given me such renewed hope for my own fertility.

 

We'll know on Monday whether the op is successful. Then comes the sperm count tests, and trying of course. I'll keep you posted. Thank you for your reply - I hope you have the large family you always wanted.

 

is there anyone else who has been here and been succesful in getting pregnant after? I know I'll be gutted if we're not successful. We've already got a boy's name, and talking about girl's names. Very premature, but it keeps us positive and focussed.

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#6 of 31 Old 02-10-2011, 10:30 PM
 
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We had a vasectomy reversal last year! My husband will be 43 in a month, and he was 34 when the vas was done. Everything went really well, and he had a great sperm count within four months (you want to wait that long to do it, because there can be residual swelling that can produce an artifically low count). I did get pregnant right away once we started trying, though I had a miscarriage at ten weeks- however, that had nothing to do with the reversal. It would have been just as likely to have happened otherwise, and the fact that I DID conceive is a huge weight off my shoulders.

 

I posted a thread a while ago about our experience with the reversal. Honestly, I am really really happy we did it. Even before we were ready to try (we waited a year for my daughter to be a little older and to get some financial things in order) it was a huge relief to just know that I COULD, that it was POSSIBLE. The biggest thing for us right afterwards was swelling. Ice packs and using a towel to sling his testicles up so the fluid could drain helped a lot. Also arnica cream. I spent WAY more time looking at his balls than I ever wanted to. =P He should take the highest dose of ibuprofen his doctor recommends for his weight (usually 800-1000 mgs 3x/day) and a 500 Vitamin E supplement. Selenium also helps with sperm generation and health.

 

You might also consider having a fertility panel done on yourself, just to see where your eggs are at and how your hormone levels are. Maybe they can start you up on what you would need right away so you have the best possible chance.

 

Kids ARE expensive but they usually don't require a two grand deposit. =) Good luck!!!

 

~Rose

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#7 of 31 Old 02-11-2011, 04:27 AM - Thread Starter
 
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LOL - love the £2,500 deposit! Thank you so much for taking time to post this. That is so encouraging and exactly what I needed. I remember his vasectomy - yeah, spent a lot of time looking at his balls too LOL! I'll get ice packs and arnica cream and vit E sorted today - I never thought of that, so that's brill advice. And of course i'll keep you all posted. If all is successful this will be our first child - at 39 yrs I don't think we'll have a second, but we'll see what time brings us. This baby is so badly wanted. Many, many thanks again. xxx

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#8 of 31 Old 02-15-2011, 02:33 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My husband had his vasectomy reversal yesterday. It was 100% sucessful, no complications and both tubes were reattached.

 

My husband is 40, over weight, and his original vasectomy was 7 years ago. I am 39 though - and this is my last chance to have a baby. We can start trying in 2 weeks :-)

 

We chose Mr Ducan Harriss in Nottingham, UK. He only charged £2,531 - my husband was home late evening and we got a personal phone call today to update us on the op. We are abolutely delighted! Mr Harriss boasts a 92% success rate and has performed over 500 of these proceedures over the last couple of years. That's impressive results!

 

I'm also reading Toni Weschler's book 'Taking charge of your fertility' - it's a real eye opener. At my age I especially need to know when I'm ovulating and using Toni's rules of temperature taking, cervical fluid and cervix checks I find it dead easy to chart and monitor these. I've also been taking pre-pregnancy 'trying to conceive' vitamins as well as eating very healthily and getting fitter and doing pelvic floor exercises in preparation.

 

Hope this helps anyone going through this. It IS possible. I'll post any news as soon as it happens!

 

Beth

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#9 of 31 Old 02-16-2011, 09:45 AM
 
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Hi again Beth, 

 

I'm stalking you on this thread now, too.  :)  Have you seen this forum yet?  http://vrsupportgroup.proboards.com/ It's a great place to connect with other families in their VR journey.  :)  

 

Good Luck!!

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#10 of 31 Old 02-17-2011, 12:06 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Cheers Shenjall - I'll check it out,

 

Beth

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#11 of 31 Old 02-22-2011, 12:24 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Day 8 following the vas reversal.

 

Over the weekend my husband developed an infection where the stiches are - it's only a small infection, but it is weeping still. He's finally agreed to wearing loose track suit bottoms instead of jeans and he's changing the gauze several times a day. He's on antibiotics now so this should clear up soon. This time next week we can start trying! :-)

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#12 of 31 Old 03-11-2011, 04:04 AM - Thread Starter
 
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My husband was too sore to start trying after 2 weeks, so it was 2 and a half weeks before we started trying. Even then, he still cannot bear the missionary position or any other position that he is not supported. He's has had a rough time poor love. So I'm doing all the work - Doctor's orders were to be as active as possible to get everything working properly again. I'm not hopeful in getting pregnant yet until he can manage positions that increase chances of conception. The most important thing is to get it all working again. 

 

If we're blessed this month, then we'll have a little one before Xmas - please keep us in your prayers.

 

Beth. x

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#13 of 31 Old 03-12-2011, 09:43 AM
 
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Oh Beth!  I'm sorry to hear your dh developed an infection!  I hope the antibiotics clear it up fast!

 

Did the drs give any clue to why he's having so much pain?  Poor guy.  

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#14 of 31 Old 03-12-2011, 03:15 PM
 
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We are 18 months post VR.  The reversal was successful, however I have not been PG yet.  I am 34yo.  Still hopeful, but I thought it would happen sooner.


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#15 of 31 Old 05-22-2011, 12:08 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Sorry - haven't been on for a while. We are 3 months past VR now - my period was 7 days late last month, however it came which was gutting. Anyhows - my husband is fine now, he had antibiotics which cleared his infection up lovely.

 

He's having his semen tested on Weds this week so we'll know in a couple of weeks if his sperm count is ok.

 

W're also off on holiday this Saturday camping for 2 and a half weeks - it may be what we need to relax and conceive. Who knows .....

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#16 of 31 Old 05-22-2011, 12:29 PM
 
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Have you started charting?  You'll find lots of help in the TTC forum and www.fertilityfriend.com is really helpful as well for enter your temps, sharing your chart, and getting help determining your O day.  Good luck with TTC!


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#17 of 31 Old 05-24-2011, 06:01 PM
 
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good luck bumblebeth, enjoy the camping ;-) 

 

keep us updated!


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#18 of 31 Old 05-25-2011, 12:16 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks guys - I'll keep you posted. I've been using Toni Wiesler's taking charge of your fertility and using her charts to know when I'm ovulating. At least if we di have to go down the route of ivf they'll have my records. Whocknows - a camping trip may just be what a baby orders lol!

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Yes Yes Yes i regret our decision everyday since it was done!! :(

I am so miserable about it and this was two years ago! I have tried to let it go but i have found my want for another baby is over whelming! And to be honest i am not sure which way to go with it, my hubby has said that he would have a reversal but well he's been signed off work with a disc bulge in his neck and so money is very tight at the mo. I am 31 and he is 32 and for some reason i am feeling like i am running out of time.

 

I am sorry for my squeeks of desperation, this is the first time i have met others who feel the same way. I am still hoping i am one of the very small percentage that falls pregnant 'by accident' but i fear after all this time that it is not going to happen. I cant talk to my family about it as they all think i am mad (i have three yummy boys already) and that it was a good thing that the vasectomy was done, and well hubby has now had enough of my disappointment so he is not really approachable about it anymore, which is horrible!

 

I know this is going to sound silly i feel a little better putting it out here so thank you so much for listening and if anyone could suggest how to cope with my hormones and longings, i will do anything as for at least the time being i am going to have to deal with them for longer!

 

 

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#20 of 31 Old 06-15-2011, 11:16 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Hey. It's not good news. We've had the results of my husbands sperm count. We're devastated.

 

No sperm were seen. Although the VAS reversal was successful in reattaching the tubes, the surgeon tells us that the result is likely due to a blockage in the epididymis. Sometimes a backlog of dead sperm can collect after the vasectomy and the dead sperm fail to clear. Even if the tubes are joined together again the live sperm cannot find their way through.

 

Does anyone know if this blockage can be cleared without IVF? Because the zero count is due to a vasectomy it is unlikely we'll get help on the NHS. we'll see our GP next week together, but we're not hopeful.

 

Came back from holiday last night - explains my period I suppose. ;-(

 

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Oh, I am so sorry Bumblebeth!


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#22 of 31 Old 06-16-2011, 12:10 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Cheers pal. x

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Oh no!!!  I'm so very sorry my dear.  Did the dr give you any tips at all?  If there's a blockage, would constant "cleaning of the pipes" do any help?  I do suggest asking the wonderful and informative women on the vrsupport group I posted earlier.  They have alot of experience in these matters.  

 

I wish you both the best of luck and that everything will clear out, asap!  

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#24 of 31 Old 06-17-2011, 11:23 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks honey. I'm still numb right now, but plan to go on the VR support group next week. just want to get this weekend over - J and I really need to chat first heart to heart. We justn havne't had chance to do that yet.

 

Miracles do happen. You never know.

 

Anyhows - how are you getting on now?

 

Beth

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#25 of 31 Old 06-18-2011, 02:46 PM
 
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I totally understand.  hug2.gif  I hope your heart to heart goes well.  And yes, miracles do happen!  When do you go for another sample?  

 

A friend of mine's husband had his reversal at the end of April.  She bought a wee microscope to look at the samples at home just for fun.  the first time all she saw were dead ones and clumps.  the second one still had some clumps but a few slow swimmers.  She left that one on a cold shelf for 24 hrs (forgot about it) and then looked at it and said, "meh, what the heck, let's see what they look like after a day" and lo and behold, there were still a few!  After 24 hours in a cold room!!!!

 

I'm holding out hope that it was one sample and the next one will be awesome!!!

 

I'm doing okay, keeping busy with all the fun June activities that the kids school's have planned.  But doing well, thank you for asking. smile.gif

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#26 of 31 Old 07-06-2011, 07:30 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Vicky80 View Post

Yes Yes Yes i regret our decision everyday since it was done!! :(

I am so miserable about it and this was two years ago! I have tried to let it go but i have found my want for another baby is over whelming! And to be honest i am not sure which way to go with it, my hubby has said that he would have a reversal but well he's been signed off work with a disc bulge in his neck and so money is very tight at the mo. I am 31 and he is 32 and for some reason i am feeling like i am running out of time.

 

I am sorry for my squeeks of desperation, this is the first time i have met others who feel the same way. I am still hoping i am one of the very small percentage that falls pregnant 'by accident' but i fear after all this time that it is not going to happen. I cant talk to my family about it as they all think i am mad (i have three yummy boys already) and that it was a good thing that the vasectomy was done, and well hubby has now had enough of my disappointment so he is not really approachable about it anymore, which is horrible!

 

I know this is going to sound silly i feel a little better putting it out here so thank you so much for listening and if anyone could suggest how to cope with my hormones and longings, i will do anything as for at least the time being i am going to have to deal with them for longer!

 

 




I could have written this post. Except for the part about my husband being on board, be cause he's not. Not at all,he says that he just can't handle another one. Sigh..he got his 3 years ago and I want another one so badly. He is 31 and I am 29 so I feel like I am in a better place now to have another one. Sigh...not sure what to do with these emotions either.


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#27 of 31 Old 07-06-2011, 07:32 PM
 
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Beth- I really hope that it's just a timing thing. Maybe in a couple more months there will have been enough time for things to clear up?


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#28 of 31 Old 07-14-2011, 09:15 PM
 
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Yes, I regret it all the time. My DH had his vasectomy a year and 1/2 ago after our 2nd son was born. I want another baby so bad I can barely stand it. DH is not on board. He is 100% content with our 2 boys. I just feel like I'm more mature now and feel more ready than I ever did when our other babies were born. For example I alwayas wanted to breastfeed but didn't feel ready. I quit after 7 weeks with my 1st and 4 weeks with my 2nd. I regret it SO much. I feel if we had another I could make it a year + of course that isn't my only reason for wanting another though just one of many. 

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#29 of 31 Old 01-12-2012, 12:13 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi Vivky80 - sorry, don't know your name. Yeah - I find myself looking at young kids and babies and just wanting to pick them up. The emptiness is overwhelming at times - it's so hard. I got my self a rescue kitty in the end, one that was desperate for a home. He was abandone, scared of his own shadow, skinny, flea ridden etc etc and I befriended him and he is now a completely different animal. My two cats endure me picking them up and turning them upside down in my arms like a baby lol! It helps me a lot. Also - I go for long long walks to clear my head and to remote areas where I can shout and scream without being locked away in a loony bin lol!

 

My friend ahd a baby now which she conceived when I though I was preggers last year. It kills - I still can't bring myself to go round and see her and the littlun. It's just too painful. Praise God for your little bundles of joy you already have - children are a true blessing.

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#30 of 31 Old 01-12-2012, 12:19 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Jenniepaige & Leslie735 - it must be so tough to not have your partners on board with you. Us ladies are such complicated creatures aren't we - dont think any of us truly understand our hormones and needs. I hope you both find peace and contentment with the gorgeous families you already have. Continue to be grateful that you have the privildge of being parents already  - I can only dream what that is like. You are very very lucky.

 

My husband is now going through a rigorous MOT now on his 'bits' so you never know how our story may end. Due toi my age I will only have the luxury of being pregnant once - but once will be all we need. :-)

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