Gosh, I can relate 100%. I had a tubal ligation after the birth of our third dc in May. I have been mourning the loss of my fertility ever since. This was definately more dh's decision than mine as well...and I would have continued to have children as long as I was blessed with them. I am so blessed by the three I have, but I, too, cannot believe this is our last baby. Everytime I mention her being the last one, or never having another dh always says "I'm so sorry." It just kills me. He really never wants another one (at this point anyway) and it really hurts him that he doesnt feel he can fulfill my desires in this way...it just kills me to hear him say he's sorry!