I had PUPPP from week 34 on. For those of you who don't know what it is, PUPPP is "pruritic uricarital plaques and papules of pregnancy." That's medical jargon for absolutely torturing nightmarishly itchy rash. I had it from my rib cage down to the tops of my feet, over my entire back and rear, and down both arms. The only unaffected areas were the soles of my feet, palms of my hands, breasts, and face. It kept me awake night and day, and ended my completely medication free pregnancy in a terrible terrible cocktail of codeine, benadryl, and eventually prednisone, in addition to tremendous volumes of steroidal topical cream. My very very non-interventionist midwife offered to induce me more than once because she felt that if she didn't get the baby out soon, I'd be delusional with having had no sleep and all the itching, and I wouldn't be strong enough for a vaginal delivery, and she didn't want to see me end up with a c-section for the reason of "maternal exhaustion."
On top of that, I had gestational hypertension. When I finally did go into labor on my own at 39.5 weeks, my bp was 165/85 (my baseline normally is very low, around 100/70). In labor, it shot up to 197/105. I was terrified.
Now, PUPPP is supposed to be, for the most part, limited to a woman's first pregnancy with a given father. So, I SHOULDN'T have to worry about that again. However, sometimes it does happen in multiple pregnancies with the same father, and if that happens to me, I don't know if I can take it again, especially not with another child to care for.
The BP thing scares me, too, because if it comes back, it could be even worse this time. The feeling of my heart racing all the time was worse than any heartburn, feeling of bulkiness, etc.
I want another child. If I had my way, we would adopt the second, but I cannot convince my DH. I want another child MORE than I want to avoid another pregnancy, so I guess my decision is made, but boy oh boy am I scared. Labor I can do. I know that, at its worst, it's a few days of misery. I can do ANYTHING for a few days. What I can't do is weeks and weeks and months and months of misery.
But you know what? Yeah, I can do it. I'll hate it, but I can do it. All of us can.
When all of us who are TTC or thinking about it end up pregnant, we can start a new tribe in Tribal Areas: "Scared Poopless Pregnant Moms!"