How do you know when you are "done"? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 8 Old 02-19-2005, 04:50 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My husband and I have 3 beautiful sons 7,5,and 19 mo. We had a surprise pregnancy that ended in a miscarriage a few months ago. I can't help but feel like there is a little girl waiting in the wings for us, My husband says he is "done" and does not want anymore, says he is ready to move on from babies. I wonder if my feelings are a result of the MC, but I just can't shake the feeling that the team isn't all here.
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#2 of 8 Old 02-21-2005, 07:45 AM
 
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I haven't even had my kids yet, but I will be interested to hear what others have to say.

Expat mama to my 7-year-old Halloween boy and my cheeky preschooler, who came before the midwife in January 2010... Gestating a new bean, debuting spring 2014!
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#3 of 8 Old 02-25-2005, 05:54 PM
 
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My hubby also says he's done, but I can't shake the feeling that there is another child hovering around me waiting to join the family. At least I talked hubby out of getting a vas. We'll see.
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#4 of 8 Old 02-28-2005, 12:03 PM
 
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How did you feel about another baby BEFORE the miscarriage? Miscarriages are incredibly hard to deal with.

Mom to ds 9 dd 7 : and dd 3/08 : if I can I go to
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#5 of 8 Old 02-28-2005, 08:15 PM - Thread Starter
 
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When we found out we were pregnant, we were thinking....are we nuts, but very shortly after we got very used to the idea and excited about it even.

Yes, the m/c was very hard to deal with, and we had one before we had our youngest son too, so it's almost like, it just took him a few tries to get through...you know what I mean.
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#6 of 8 Old 03-03-2005, 01:59 PM
 
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(((hugs)))
I understand that feeling that a m/c really makes you feel like there are children still left to join your family. After my 1st m/c, that feeling was very strong that there was still another soul that was to join our family. When I got pregnant several months later, I still didn't feel like this was the last child of ours...and then I lost that baby to m/c as well. When Jhonen was born last May, I felt complete. Not complete in an absolute sense, but complete in that any other children that may come into our life didn't yet have a hold of my psyche (if there were any more).
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#7 of 8 Old 03-06-2005, 01:23 AM
 
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I am open to having many children and so is my dh thankfully. I am so sorry to hear of your little miscarried child.

I love having babies around and it will be a sad day for my when there is no longer a little one in my arms. I think we will be "done" when nature, God, or our finances ordain. Otherwise I hope we will not be finished for many years.
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#8 of 8 Old 03-06-2005, 01:31 AM
 
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My mother had six babies and she has always said that at some point, you just have to accept the feeling of just wanting one more. I know I put off my second (for 16 years) by having foster kids, spending lots of time with my nieces and nephews, puppies, kittens, plants, fish. And this week, as baby #2 turned 3 and baby #3 turned 1- I am so hungry for another one. But I am 41. The clock is ticking. If there is another baby to come, I better get on the ball. I think I am done. I logically know that I am streched thin, my kids deserve all the energy I can find. And my career has been on the back burner for awhile and it is ready to come forward. So, I may have to get a kitten!

Maureen
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