Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: with lots of boys and a girl
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We're ttc#3 here too . . . after me talking DH into it. We had always talked about 3, but after 2 DH was thinking that was enough. I've finally gotten him on board with ttc#3 . . . and I'm not quite feeling ambivalent about it, but I'm not really stressing about ttc, as I did with the other two. I'm much more relaxed about everything. The 2ww is not a hair-pulling event for me, with every thought consumed with wondering whether I am pg or if maybe this or that is a sign of pg. I'm just coasting along, kinda enjoying the ride this time. I figure we'll conceive when we conceive. It's a nice change for me.
At the same time, I feel totally insane to be wanting to add more work to my life!! My littles are 3yo and 16mo, and they are a lot of work (as all you mamas already know). I know it's crazy to add one more right now (or ever) but I am compelled to have one more child. I want to savor the moments of the last child, knowing it's my last, appreciating the 2 am wake-ups to nurse, even while I'm grumping about it. I want to give away the tiny baby clothes as the last baby grows out of them. Give away my pg clothes after this last time. I am just not ready to do that after 2 kids. I need the closure of knowing a child is my last, yk? For me, I hate being pg--the whole physical experience is not pleasant for me. The only thing I like about it is feeling baby move and the end result of baby in my arms. In fact, I would have loved to adopt this last one if we could afford it. But I'm willing to go through it all to have my last babe.
Every so often I am struck with a slight panic of "What the heck am I doing ttc another??" And I'm sure that'll hit me once I do see the second line on the pt . . . but luckily for me those moments are few and far between.
Good luck! I hope everything works out the way you want it.
Jen, mom of R (9), T (7), C (5), and E (2) ... my s